How to Deal with Jealousy in a Relationship
Jealousy isn’t always a sign of weakness or insecurity. It could also be an expression of love. Understand how to deal with jealousy in a relationship and experience a happier relationship.
Jealousy in a relationship isn’t always easy to handle.
It can confuse anyone into believing that the relationship is threatened even if they’re in a perfect relationship.
Jealousy crops up in many ways, but in essence, it’s a sign of insecurity and the fear of losing the one you love.
And jealously in a relationship is never ever a bad thing.
No one chooses to be jealous, and almost always it’s misunderstanding and lack of communication that leads to jealousy.
How to deal with jealousy in a relationship
You may get jealous of your partner for several reasons.
You may not like the fact that they’re hanging out with someone else and having a lot of fun, or you may just feel insecure about losing your lover to someone else.
While jealousy due to misunderstanding is acceptable, irrational jealousy isn’t.
When a partner is threatened or feels jealous for the smallest of reasons, it’s almost always a sign of social insecurity and low self esteem.
You may be driven by your fears of losing the one you love and your insecurities may reveal your jealousy as a plea for more love and care. It is human nature, after all, to crave for reassurance and love when doubt arises.
But you should always remember that jealousy is actually one of the biggest causes for the downfall of a relationship. So when you do feel jealous, you don’t bring your partner closer. In fact, you drive them away with your behavior!
Getting rid of jealousy
Learn to trust your partner and don’t doubt them unnecessarily. Regain your confidence and remember that they do love you, and your lover is not going to stop loving you by just talking to someone attractive.
Let there be no secrecy and if something bothers you, tell your partner in a clear and pleasant manner that you did not like or appreciate their behavior. This is a lot better than the good old show of the green eyed monster.
Coping with the green eyed monster
It’s hard to just smile and sit quietly while your partner is flirting or having a fun time with another attractive person, especially while you’re around. It may also make sense for you to get jealous when you see your mate dancing with someone else at a party, or while they’re hugging and kissing an old attractive “friend” whom they met after a long time.
But you know what, your partner’s behavior is completely acceptable.
Put yourself in their place, wouldn’t you hug or kiss a very good friend of the opposite sex if you bump into them after ages? Wouldn’t you be happy to see them? Have you ever found yourself flirting with someone while your partner wasn’t around? Wouldn’t you dance with a good looking friend if your partner’s too tired to dance anymore?
Jealousy pops out of your head, not by the actions of your partner or anything else, but by your own misconceptions. It’s all about the way you perceive and see things.
Humans have a tendency of being pessimistic and hope for the worst when it comes to relationships, and this tendency affects your rational mind. If you were just sitting with your friends and you notice two of your friends who are dating each other having a petty fight over a bit of jealousy, wouldn’t you tell yourself that they were just acting stupid?
Now how are you behaving when you mistrust your partner all the time? The problem with dealing with jealousy in a relationship is that most people forget to put themselves into their partner’s shoes and see what they would have done. You may have had your share of fun too if you were in your lover’s place.
Jealousy in a relationship – Steps to handle it
It is normal to get jealous in love, but jealousy should never be shoved aside or pushed under the carpet. The only way to overcome jealousy in a relationship is by confronting it and overcoming it. At times you may be the one who’s feeling jealous, or at times, your partner may be the one. The best way to help each other is through effective communication and understanding. [Read: How to communicate effectively in a relationship]
Listen to your partner, really!
Your partner may be trying to say something to you, so pay attention. Most of the times, when jealousy sets in, all your lover wants you to do is pay attention to them, and show them you still care. If you want to work this out, then both of you should be ready to listen to each other and hear what each of you have to say. Try to read your partner’s mind and their actions and give them enough attention if they’re feeling alone while you’re holding someone else’s hand.
Communicate and understand
If you’re annoyed with your partner about something, then just tell them about it. You may sulk and make the day worse for the both of you. Instead of plotting in your mind, just say what’s on your mind and you can work things out faster and have more time to spend in happiness, than in misery. And if your partner wants to tell you something, don’t walk away even if you feel like it makes no sense. Remember, what seems like nonsense to you could mean a lot to your partner when they are hurt and want your reassurance. [Read: How to stay in love forever]
Read the signs
Most of the times, even if your partner is hurt or feeling low, they may not tell you anything about it. So look out for signs that suggest they’re upset about something. Give your sweetheart a hug, rub their shoulders or run your hands through their hair and talk to them. Coax your partner into saying what’s on their mind and let them know that they mean a lot to you. Sometimes, it’s easy to misunderstand, but it’s always easier to make a partner feel better if you try.
Put yourself in their shoes
One of the best ways to deal with jealousy in a relationship is to learn to put yourself in your lover’s shoes. What would you have done if you were in your lover’s place? Would you have behaved the same way? Try to always put yourself in their shoes and try and understand what your partner is going through. Perhaps, your partner is just being nice or trying to make a good impression. Does everything in the world have to revolve around your partner wanting to break up with you? [Read: How to give space to your partner]
One of the best ways to deal with jealousy is to reassure your partner. If you get angry with your partner for getting jealous, things will only get worse. Tell your mate that you’re sorry to have neglected them, if you did neglect them. Or just reassure your mate and let them know how much you love them and care about them. When someone gets jealous, remember, more than anything else, they’re afraid of losing you and they want your attention, badly! [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]
Jealousy and love
When you feel jealous in a relationship, remember that it’s not a bad sign and it’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s just that you care about someone too much and can’t imagine someone new taking them away from you. At times, you may not like your lover flirting with someone because you feel that they’re having a better time, even without you around. This brings out a feeling of insecurity which can turn into bitter jealousy. [Read: How to be happy in a relationship]
Jealousy can be cute if it’s experienced in moderation, but anything beyond that can change your happy relationship into a frustrated one.
Learn to relax and have a good time when you’re in love, instead of suspecting your lover all the time. Jealousy in a relationship is just a subconscious way to get attention, so learn to face situations and communicate with your partner when you feel low. [Poll: How to have a long relationship]
And always understand the importance of listening when your partner is depressed or angry for no apparent reason. At times like that, there’s almost always a big reason.
At times, jealousy in a relationship may seem trivial, but if not confronted and overcome, jealousy can burn your relationship apart. Understanding and reassurance is what it takes to hold your love together and overpower the green eyed monster that’s lurking in the corners, waiting to hurt you and make you hate your lover. So overcome jealousy in a relationship and reassure, communicate and fall in love with your sweetheart, more with every day!
Always remember that jealousy in a relationship is the fear of losing a lover and not a sign of aggression or possessiveness. Learn to deal with jealousy in a relationship with these simple tips and you’ll have a healthier and happier relationship.