Ever asked yourself that big question, “am I falling for a friend?” or perhaps, you’re looking for a way to go from friend to lover? Here’s your complete guide to tell your friend and make a move from friend to lover. By Lily Margaret
Going from a friend to lover is a path riddled with confusions.
Do you think you’re falling for a friend?
Or have you looked at an attractive friend and asked yourself “am I falling for a friend?”
Do you just hold your fluttering heart in your hands until it regains its composure or do you fling it out towards that friend and hope they’d catch it? Let’s admit it. Would you catch a bleeding heart that’s thrown right at you when you least expect it? Perhaps not.
So what do you do when you’re friends, but really have to be lovers?
Am I falling for a friend?!
Falling for a friend is like a little dance under the spotlight, especially when you don’t really know how to dance. You jiggle your feet awkwardly with your dance mate, and hope that the audience would never figure that you have two left feet.
To your surprise, it wouldn’t take the audience long to figure your secret out. The same goes with awkward friendships and people who want to go from friend to lover. Haven’t we all noticed how easy it is for people to realise that there’s something weird going on? Haven’t you ever been teased with someone, at the very first instance when you blushed or stared a wee bit longer at a ‘friend’?
Friend to lover or just friends?
Do you want to go from friend to lover? Of course, you want to be a lover, don’t you? You… you naughty little bunny! Hey, I’d do the same if I were falling for a friend too. So stop with the ‘I’m-not-such-a-perv’ class act.
Listen, wanting to go out is sweet, getting physical and cuddly is sweeter, but there are a few things you need to know before you take the icy plunge. First of all, ask yourself if your friend’s love is truly what you need. Do you get jealous when your friend hooks up with someone else, or do you want to go out with your friend each time they run back to you crying, after another break-up? [Read: How to kiss a friend and get away with it]
Going from a friend to lover is a big transition, and you can ask yourself if you’re falling for a friend a million times but it really depends on a lot of other circumstances too. And it’s tricky business. And most importantly, you need to remember that a lover and a friend are two different people, even if it’s the same person.
I remember one time when I hooked up with a friend a few years ago. He was what I had always wanted, sweet, charming, and full of wit and humor. But once we did start going out, I saw that he was quite egoistic and stubborn, just like me. We used to argue a lot, and eventually, eight months after going from a friend to lover, we ended the relationship. It was a bad way to end something that had lasted six years. We used to like each other a lot when we were friends, but falling for a friend asked for a lot more than just fun times in the open. And the most important thing that both of us overlooked in love was compromising for each other.
Going from friend to lover – The difference between being friends and falling for a friend
There isn’t too much of a difference really. When you’re a good friend, for starters, you could ask your pal if they’re wearing that cute silk underwear they picked up the last time they shopped. But if you’re going out with them, you could probably take a peek too!
When you’re a best friend, you share all the deepest secrets, you’re there for each other and you fight about nonsense. And when you go from friend to lover, you do all of that and one thing more. You take each other’s pants off! [Read: 20 sexy questions to ask a friend and seduce them]
So you see, quite frankly there isn’t much of a difference. However much you’d want to deny it, the main underlying reason behind falling for a friend or wanting to go out with a friend is because you want to have more body contact. Yup, that’s right. You want to get physical with a friend. There’s nothing wrong in that, so you don’t need to choke and behave like I said something rude.
After all, it’s the emotion laden physical touch that satisfies a lover more than anything else. But I’ve always been a strong believer in the fact that you need to be a best friend to be a lover. A friend is the person who spends time with you, and is there by your side at all times, the good and the bad.
A lover, well, usually has the biggest impact in bed. If you ever want to hook up with a friend, look at it as a business proposition!
Are you falling for a friend for the wrong reasons?
Here are five considerations that you definitely need to look into before going from friend to lover. For all you know, it may just be a crush, or limerence or you may genuinely be falling for a friend. But do you really want to mess up your friendship for that? Read these five friend to lover transitions and ask yourself if you’re still ready fall for a friend.
Friend to lover #1 Do you have compatible personalities? You know your friend’s behavior best when they’re in a relationship. They may be flirty with others or they may become too possessive. Whatever it is, do you think both of you are ready for a serious relationship?
Friend to lover #2 Do either of you have a few habits that totally piss off the other person? If you do, the chances of lasting can be slim. Annoying habits are cute only for the first few months, it can annoy the hell out of you after that!
Friend to lover #3 Are both of you willing to slide back and compromise to each other’s wants and needs? You may have a lot of chemistry, but without compromises, all the passion and sexual chemistry in the world can’t make a difference.
Friend to lover #4 Can you both trust each other? I mean completely, after knowing each other’s secrets and affairs with other people. Frankly, both of you felt that spark and get attracted to each other. Can you trust your friend to not fall in love with someone else again? Or do you still think your friend might pounce on another friend or indulge in text flirting with someone while your back is turned? [Read: How to text flirt with a friend]
Friend to lover #5 Are you really in love? Or do you just have a fling in mind? Do you think moving further from friends to lovers is a good option? Are there benefits other than just taking each other’s clothes off?! It’s alright to want to see how a good looking friend looks naked, but that’s definitely not the biggest reason to want to go out with them. You may be more interested in being a fuck buddy.
So now that you know the five pointers you need to think about before going from friend to lover, as yourself again if you’re really falling for a friend and if you’re still convinced it’s true love that you want, click here about how to make a move when you’re falling in love with a friend.
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