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Friend to Lover – Are You Falling for a Friend?

friend to lover

Ever asked yourself that big question, “am I falling for a friend?” or perhaps, you’re looking for a way to go from friend to lover? Here’s your complete guide to tell your friend and make a move from friend to lover. By Lily Margaret

Going from a friend to lover is a path riddled with confusions.

Do you think you’re falling for a friend?

Or have you looked at an attractive friend and asked yourself “am I falling for a friend?”

[Read: Signs your friend and you are more than friends]

You’re not alone if that thought’s been running though your mind, so don’t get your undies in a twist just yet.

Friends to lovers

If you have ever taken the time to notice and grope around a bit, you’d be able to see that there’s a distinct line separating the bonds of friendship and love.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, look around.

Haven’t you ever noticed two friends of yours who seem to be in love, but somehow are still friends?

Or have you ever had a small crush on a friend?

Remember how weird it felt each time you hug a particular friend or held hands while crossing a street?

Well, it’s embarrassingly stupid, isn’t it?

You know the both of you should be in love, but yet, there’s that bond of friendship that seems to be holding you back.

So what do you do when you’re falling for a friend and how do you go from friend to lover in their eyes? [Read: How to get a girl to kiss you by arousing her gently]

Do you just hold your fluttering heart in your hands until it regains its composure or do you fling it out towards that friend and hope they’d catch it? Let’s admit it. Would you catch a bleeding heart that’s thrown right at you when you least expect it? Perhaps not.

So what do you do when you’re friends, but really have to be lovers?

Am I falling for a friend?!

Falling for a friend is like a little dance under the spotlight, especially when you don’t really know how to dance. You jiggle your feet awkwardly with your dance mate, and hope that the audience would never figure that you have two left feet.

To your surprise, it wouldn’t take the audience long to figure your secret out. The same goes with awkward friendships and people who want to go from friend to lover. Haven’t we all noticed how easy it is for people to realise that there’s something weird going on? Haven’t you ever been teased with someone, at the very first instance when you blushed or stared a wee bit longer at a ‘friend’?

Friend to lover or just friends?

Do you want to go from friend to lover? Of course, you want to be a lover, don’t you? You… you naughty little bunny! Hey, I’d do the same if I were falling for a friend too. So stop with the ‘I’m-not-such-a-perv’ class act.

Listen, wanting to go out is sweet, getting physical and cuddly is sweeter, but there are a few things you need to know before you take the icy plunge. First of all, ask yourself if your friend’s love is truly what you need. Do you get jealous when your friend hooks up with someone else, or do you want to go out with your friend each time they run back to you crying, after another break-up? [Read: How to kiss a friend and get away with it]

Going from a friend to lover is a big transition, and you can ask yourself  if you’re falling for a friend a million times but it really depends on a lot of other circumstances too. And it’s tricky business. And most importantly, you need to remember that a lover and a friend are two different people, even if it’s the same person.

I remember one time when I hooked up with a friend a few years ago. He was what I had always wanted, sweet, charming, and full of wit and humor. But once we did start going out, I saw that he was quite egoistic and stubborn, just like me. We used to argue a lot, and eventually, eight months after going from a friend to lover, we ended the relationship. It was a bad way to end something that had lasted six years. We used to like each other a lot when we were friends, but falling for a friend asked for a lot more than just fun times in the open. And the most important thing that both of us overlooked in love was compromising for each other.

Going from friend to lover – The difference between being friends and falling for a friend

There isn’t too much of a difference really. When you’re a good friend, for starters, you could ask your pal if they’re wearing that cute silk underwear they picked up the last time they shopped. But if you’re going out with them, you could probably take a peek too!

When you’re a best friend, you share all the deepest secrets, you’re there for each other and you fight about nonsense. And when you go from friend to lover, you do all of that and one thing more. You take each other’s pants off! [Read: 20 sexy questions to ask a friend and seduce them]

So you see, quite frankly there isn’t much of a difference. However much you’d want to deny it, the main underlying reason behind falling for a friend or wanting to go out with a friend is because you want to have more body contact. Yup, that’s right. You want to get physical with a friend. There’s nothing wrong in that, so you don’t need to choke and behave like I said something rude.

After all, it’s the emotion laden physical touch that satisfies a lover more than anything else. But I’ve always been a strong believer in the fact that you need to be a best friend to be a lover. A friend is the person who spends time with you, and is there by your side at all times, the good and the bad.

A lover, well, usually has the biggest impact in bed. If you ever want to hook up with a friend, look at it as a business proposition!

Are you falling for a friend for the wrong reasons?

Here are five considerations that you definitely need to look into before going from friend to lover. For all you know, it may just be a crush, or limerence or you may genuinely be falling for a friend. But do you really want to mess up your friendship for that? Read these five friend to lover transitions and ask yourself if you’re still ready fall for a friend.

Friend to lover #1 Do you have compatible personalities? You know your friend’s behavior best when they’re in a relationship. They may be flirty with others or they may become too possessive. Whatever it is, do you think both of you are ready for a serious relationship?

Friend to lover #2 Do either of you have a few habits that totally piss off the other person? If you do, the chances of lasting can be slim. Annoying habits are cute only for the first few months, it can annoy the hell out of you after that!

Friend to lover #3 Are both of you willing to slide back and compromise to each other’s wants and needs? You may have a lot of chemistry, but without compromises, all the passion and sexual chemistry in the world can’t make a difference.

Friend to lover #4 Can you both trust each other? I mean completely, after knowing each other’s secrets and affairs with other people. Frankly, both of you felt that spark and get attracted to each other. Can you trust your friend to not fall in love with someone else again? Or do you still think your friend might pounce on another friend or indulge in text flirting with someone while your back is turned? [Read: How to text flirt with a friend]

Friend to lover #5 Are you really in love? Or do you just have a fling in mind? Do you think moving further from friends to lovers is a good option? Are there benefits other than just taking each other’s clothes off?! It’s alright to want to see how a good looking friend looks naked, but that’s definitely not the biggest reason to want to go out with them. You may be more interested in being a fuck buddy.

So now that you know the five pointers you need to think about before going from friend to lover, as yourself again if you’re really falling for a friend and if you’re still convinced it’s true love that you want, click here about how to make a move when you’re falling in love with a friend.

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  • This is a very difficult decision indeed to convert your friend into a lover but you have to take this step to proceed further.

  • seid mohammed

    love you

  • Zofia M

    The way I see it, love for a best friend is a different kind of love, because you fall for them from the inside-out. When you met, you chose to be friends becuause there simply was no attraction: Too short, too tall, wore earings or a tatoo you did not like, simply not your type. Most importantly, you chose to be friends because it was safe to do so. As you learned more and more about them, the connection grew and you could truly say you love them-love, a feeling that does not come easily in relationships. Your love is not the same as in a relationship of course- it is not that passionate, strong, feeling that would burn down walls just to hold them in your arms. No- it is more of a certainity that no matter what, or where you are, this feeling of affection will not dissipate. It makes you feel safe, protected and understood by your best friend, which makes time so pleasurable when you are around them. When you think of them, you feel that warm feeling in your heart, something that does not come so easily when you think-or thought of your partner. However, to think you would ever date them is still absurd. Your best friend? The one you watch hockey with on a Saturday night, drinking beer and stuffing yourself with pizza? No. Impossible. We are just friends, that’s it and that’s all.

    Then comes a time when you notice those dimples when they smile. The way that they reson, the little secrets you continue learning about them, just how interesting they truly are. You laugh at their incapability to spell simple words, feeling oh-so-comfortable with them. The original affection starts to ignite, and you wonder why the hell all the girls/guys that break their heart dont notice how cool they are. Of course, you dont count. You are different, you’re one of the boys, a little sister to them and you wouldnt dare to think differently about them. Although, sometimes…

    Usually, the thought of loving your best friend as a partner, is implanted in your head by a third party, be it a movie or a close friend that comments on your “so close friendship. Have you ever thought of dating him?”

    No. Of course not. I mean, he’s not my type, right? If I date him, it will surely end badly, and I will lose, once again, another close friend in my life. You convince yourself that it is not true, refusing to let go of the only argument you have: He is not for me. The way he dresses, acts, is not what you’d want. Although, if you were in a tough situation, he is the only one you trust would be able to help you through it… Once seeded, the thought grows and grows, and you start imagining a life where your friend is a little bit more. Sometimes, it feels like betrayal to the friendship- like you are tresspassing into a forbidden zone that your friend would be so dissappointed about. But the thought still can no longer disappear.

    And now, this is your time, where you have to decide. You google stupid articles that do not give much help, read comments about ruined friendships and happily-ever-afters.

    So, I will tell you simply: You do love your best friend. You loved them since you got to know them, but your love has been moulded through time. You decide what shape you give it: either continue with that beautiful friendship, leaving the longing aside and enjoying their company as you always have. That will mean, however, that you will have to see him eventually kissing, marrying another woman, telling you how much he loves her.

    Or, you can simply wait and see. Continue beeing friends, and see if you think there is some feelings from his side. Then, you can take the leap in the cold water and learn how to swim, hoping that you dont drown your friendship while you’re at it.

    Love can take many forms, and it is up to us to decide how it grows. All that I have written here, you probably already knew, so now you decide what you do with your powerful love.