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What is Unconditional Love Really?

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Have you ever experienced unconditional love? What is unconditional love really? Find out about unconditional love through this experience. By Carrie Jones

what is unconditional love

Have you ever experienced so much love that just bringing a gleeful smile on your lover’s face makes your day?

Sometimes, the easiest of feelings are the hardest to explain.

And at some other times, it’s easier to see true love by actions than to hear about it through loving words.

Unconditional love is one such emotion that can never really be explained, but can only be experienced in little ways, every day.

Proclamations of love and gifts are overshadowed by the glow of true unconditional love.

Do you think you love someone unconditionally?

What is unconditional love?

Let me tell you a story that happened seven years ago.

There was once a teenage boy who was in love with a teenage girl.

They had been in love for a few years and loved each other a lot. They both lived in the same neighborhood and met each other every evening and spent time together until dinnertime.

Every summer vacation, the girl and her siblings went away for three months to live in her grandparents’ place for the summer.

And the boy, he always ended up missing the girl terribly every time she went away.

One summer, when she went away on her vacation, he really wanted to show her how much he missed her. He decided to give her a diamond ring. He wanted to propose to her. [Read: The best way to propose to your partner]

He walked around town to all the jewelers he could remember. He was only 17, and most jewelers either laughed at him or thought he was fooling around. But he didn’t give up. He learnt to dress smart when he went window shopping so the jewelry stores would take him more seriously.

And finally, a few days of searching later, he found the perfect ring he wanted to buy for his girlfriend. It was a platinum ring with a beautiful clear diamond that shone beautifully. It was the most beautiful thing he had seen. The very second he saw it, he just knew that it was the ring he was looking for. He feigned confidence and casually asked the staff how much it cost. And when he heard that it cost a little over four thousand dollars, his heart sank.

Young boys didn’t earn so much, most parents didn’t earn that much in a month. When his friends heard of his obsession to buy a ring, they thought he was crazy. Most guys would have bought themselves a used car with that sort of money.

The boy didn’t care. He wanted that ring. He could imagine his girlfriend’s happy face when she sees that ring and that’s all he cared about, her smile and her happiness.

He spent the next day calculating his odds. His parents gave him an allowance of fifty dollars a week. In three months, he would have only about six hundred dollars. It was nowhere close to buying any ring. He needed more money, a lot more.

He started looking for summer jobs, and finally found one in a clothing store where he could earn almost seven dollars an hour, and which amounted to about fifty dollars a day five days a week. It was a good start. He didn’t tell his parents about the job, instead they assumed he was at a friend’s place playing games all day.

He calculated his daily savings and realized that he had to reduce his expenditure on lunch and take up a few weekend jobs if he ever had any chance of making the amount of money he needed.

Every now and then, he would go back to the jewelry store and see if the ring was still waiting for him. He even told the staff to keep it aside for him, because he was definitely going to buy the ring soon.

His best friends lazed and had fun all day long, but he gave up all of that to work from dawn to dusk. As he lay down in bed every night, all he could think of was how happy his girlfriend would be to see the ring, and how excited he would be to give it to her. Every night, he was tired after a long day’s work, but he was too excited to ever fall asleep quickly.

Soon, the months rolled on and his hidden stash of secret money also grew a lot. He hardy spend any money on himself the entire summer vacation, and saved almost every penny he could for the dream ring. On some days, he even skipped buying lunch so he could save more money.

And one fine day, a few days before his girlfriend was to return back home, he counted his saving late into the night under a torchlight. He grinned an insuppressible smile. He had earned the money. Almost three months of toiling and starving had paid off!

The very next morning, he neatly arranged all his earnings and savings in a bundle and sped to the jewelry store where the staff was waiting for him. They were happy for the young boy too. And finally, he held the ring in his hand and smiled. It was a beautiful thing. His girlfriend would love it. He couldn’t think of anything else. Right there, he was the happiest teenager in the world.

A week later, his girlfriend came home. They were really happy to be with each other again, and had missed each other terribly. She had no idea about his job or the ring he had bought for her. That thought made him feel all the more excited.

[Read: How to be happy in a relationship]

The next night, he took her out to dinner. It was an expensive restaurant with tables spread out in a garden. And after the end of the meal, the young teenage boy got down on his knees in front of the girl. The girl had no idea what he was doing, really, 17 year olds don’t go down on one knee.

As he rested on one knee, he read out a handwritten love letter with intentionally faded and carefully burnt edges. It was a beautiful love letter. The girl smiled.

[Read: How to write a love letter]

The boy slipped his hand into his coat pocket. And out of it emerged an elegant shiny box with blue ribbons. The girl looked surprised. She would never have assumed it would be a ring. Rings are expensive, everyone knows that.

When she opened the little box, her eyes widened and the beautiful stone reflected in her eyes. She was shocked and so full of surprise. She fumbled for happy words and affirmative responses as he asked her to marry him, not soon, but someday, because she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

She smiled and her face glowed with happiness and love. She loved the boy so much, and could never have imagined that he’d be working all summer to buy a ring for her.

But right at that moment, all the boy cared about was her beautiful smile. When he did see her beautiful smile, he remembered all the hard work and effort he had to endure for three months. But then, right then, at the very moment, he was completely convinced that it was all worth it, just to bring a happy smile on her face.

And that is what true unconditional love is all about. [Read: How to find your soulmate]

Understanding unconditional love

Unconditional love is hard to explain. It’s something that has to be understood and experienced. If you can give up on your wants and yet feel happier, just watching your lover happy, then that’s unconditional love.

If you can selflessly love someone else, not to get something back in return, but to genuinely make someone else happy, that’s unconditional love.

What the boy did for the girl may seem crazy to many, but to the boy, all that mattered was not his sacrifices during the entire vacation, but the happiness that his effort brought to his lover in that one instant.

If that isn’t unconditional love, what is?!

[Read: How to stay in love forever]

The boy and the girl are still unconditionally in love with each other and as always, have selflessly loved each other ever since they first fell in love. Sometimes, to understand what is unconditional love, you don’t need an expert on love, you just need a great story.

P.S. The boy’s name is Brian. The girl’s name is Carrie. And yes, I’m the lucky girl in the story.

P.P.S. Six months later, I lost the ring! I was devastated, but he just smiled it off and told me he’ll buy me a new one!


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Have your say!
  • Daisy
    October 25, 2011 | Permalink |

    Aww… your guy is such a sweetheart. You really must be the luckiest girl in the world. I’ve been in a few relationships myself, but have never ever experienced true unconditional love. It really must be such a beautiful thing. Now you’ve made me jealous!

  • JRK
    November 3, 2011 | Permalink |

    I enjoyed the story, but I’m curious as to how it relates to the kind of love that is specifically unconditional. Even though rings and jewelry are beautiful, symbolically common ways to express love for another, what the story seems to be saying overall is that, in the end, love is worth all the gold in the world. So then why did he work so hard just to get a ring for her? Like, do you think that he thought she wouldn’t love him or be happy if he didn’t get the ring? (that would probably be conditional, right?) I guess I’m just not sure why material things are needed to show unconditional love; is the love in itself not enough?
    I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts!

  • Samantha
    November 3, 2011 | Permalink |

    This story is beautiful. It’s so touching…

    @JRK, you misunderstood the point about unconditional love. It’s not about the material aspects at all. The story’s focus isn’t on the ring, but on what he went through to make her happy. If you read it again, he says that he’d do anything just to see her smile. He knew a ring would make her really happy. And just for the sake of her happiness, he sacrificed his happiness and his entire vacation where he could have had fun with his friends and worked from morning to night just so he could do something that can bring a smile on her face. And that’s what unconditional love is, when you can put someone else’s happiness ahead of your own and sacrifice your own happiness for someone else’s joy. Hope this helped you.

  • gaby
    July 31, 2012 | Permalink |

    i envy you carrie! wish one day it could be happennig to me

  • Ucheomamma
    August 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    That was a really amazin’ story. Its for real and it could happen to you- yes YOU- if u have faith*

  • September 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    Such a beautiful story. I know it happened for some and I hope one day I could write my own love story.

  • Brandon
    September 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    I know that nobody will read this, but that is not unconditional love. That is a form of courteous behavior, to try and “win” somebody’s heart.

    Real unconditional love goes both ways, there is no boundary by gender, ethnicity, region, political status, distance, etc. If I was the girl, I would of forced him to return that ring and spend it on himself. That’s being not selfish from both sides.

  • Mofomac
    September 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    Lost the ring in 6 months. .. Unbelievable. Typical Girl. Cute Story, but doesn’t really demonstrate uncondicional love.

  • Denisa
    October 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    I think this is one of many unconditional loves.
    For me unconditional love is when both of them would do anything for each other and they still keep their freedom… well this is for a long conversation.

  • Tracey
    October 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    It’s a beautiful story and I get it but it’s just not like that with most guys. I waited for someone special and I have found him but the truth is the best most of all can hope for is for someone to treat us with respect. The level of hard work and dedication is just unheard of! My significant other treats me nice but I’m sure he’s never go all out like that for me. Yes he respects me, we go out, he says he loves me etc but what you’re describing is quite unattainable. Men are just not cut from that cloth anymore.

  • Heather
    November 2, 2012 | Permalink |

    That day was the last time I would ever share a class with him. I didn’t even realize when I fell for him. Just after that class, there was this hollowness and I couldn’t pinpoint it. Then I realized it was him. I couldn’t believe it. How could I have fallen for him? It was crazy. Without even knowing it, too. It isn’t like any love I have felt before. I am 200% sure he doesn’t have any feelings for me. But I don’t mind. I know we will never be together, but that’s okay too. Because I don’t really *need* to be with him. All I really need is that he remains happy. I would love to be the reason for his happiness, but even if I’m not, I would be happy. Whatever may happen, my feelings are still there. I hope he stays happy. I think that’s unconditional love.

  • TylDurden
    November 26, 2012 | Permalink |

    That’s very touching, but not quite unconditional, you see, his love was dependent on the “condition” that she received it, that was his reward. How would he have felt had she not smiled, or if she rejected the ring. Under those “conditions” he would have been crushed, true unconditional love would be empathetic and understanding no matter the “conditions/response” which he have possessed, but we’ll never know, since he got the response he was looking for, but lets not kid ourselves and pretend he wasn’t doing it for a very specific response.

    Unconditional love is more than putting their happiness before yours but, but also their sadness.

  • Jes
    December 29, 2012 | Permalink |

    I think that it is real love, I am sorry that some of you dont get it. Its not about the actual material item itself but the jesture and willingness to work hard for the one you love. After you date enough people who dont even want to pay their own bills as if they dont eat dinner live in the same house and use the same lights as you…you would understand.

  • MrMan
    February 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m not going to say that it’s not real love, and maybe the two did have unconditional love, but the example chosen is not how unconditional love is demonstrated; that’s romantic love. It’s true that all of the best romantic relationships have a foundation of unconditional love as well, but it doesn’t mean the two are the same. Unconditional love is where you extend love to someone regardless of all other things. So if that girl had accepted the ring, pawned it, and used that money to move to france with some Pierre with a baguette and a thin mustache, and he accepted that and forgave her and still loved her after that and desired the best for her, THAT would be an example of unconditional love. Or if they got married and she got into a terrible accident and they found out she’d never walk or have kids, and their favorite pasttime had been running and he had desperately wanted his own children, and he loved her despite the fact that he would never be able to have those things with her, that would be unconditional love.
    Maybe the two did have unconditional love, maybe they didn’t, but this story doesn’t tell us either way. It is a cute story, though.

  • Christinest
    February 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    I thinks what the story portray is NOT unconditional love…it’s ROMANTIC LOVE. Giving flowers and gifts are examples of showing romantic love. It’s not unconditional because the boy had striven to get a very expensive ring for his girlfriend and he conditioned it to his mind that his girl must surely smile because of the very beautiful and expensive ring he had bought just for her. The example does not really show what is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE really mean. Unconditional love is accepting a person no matter what or who he is. It’s a very excellent kind of love that only few could experience in their entire lives. I’m happy I have experienced it! How lucky I am, I’m really in unconditional love! :) It’s very true and pure…

  • aimee
    April 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    thank you for sharing carrie! :) this is a very adorable story. I do feel I have someone like that in my life and this brought a smile to my face. <3

  • May
    May 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t understand at all how people don’t think this is unconditional love.

    1. Everyone has their own relationships. A relationship is made of two people, both are individuals and both make a distinct unique relationship based on the two of them. Nobody can really say what kind of love they have based on what they’d do instead of the couple in the relationship.

    2. Unconditional love doesn’t have to be shown through material things. The point of this story is just that. He didn’t HAVE to show her, but he wanted to, because he wanted to see her smile. He worked extremely hard to buy that ring for her. The reason was because he wanted to propose to her, meaning he wanted to prove how hard he’d work to prove that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and even then all he cared about was the fact that she was happy. If she had answered no, he might still have only cared about her smile. The fact that he could make her that happy was more than enough. And she was obviously that happy because she knew at that moment how much he really loved her.

    3. He was only 17. I don’t think people take much notice to that. To have such devotion and love from someone who is not even an adult yet is incredible. His unconditional love for her allowed him to feel and act in ways that is extremely rare, and I would think ridiculously rare in teenagers.

    4. There is no true definition of love. Everyone defines love differently. Same with unconditional love. Everyone will think it’s different but that doesn’t mean, to Carrie and Brian, that wasn’t unconditional love because some people doesn’t percieve it as that.
    Have you never been in love only to have someone tell you that you don’t really love them? That you’ll realize it when you’re older, or when things don’t work out, But you still know to this day that you did really love that person?
    Nobody can tell you if you’re really in love or not. Because even in the future you might think back and say it wasn’t love, but it was at the time you thought it was. In the end only you can decide whether you’re in love or not. Same with unconditional love, if that’s what they feel they have then that’s what they have.

    Wow I can talk, apologies.

  • Campy
    August 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    I think this is a story of unconditional love. You see, everyone defines love in different ways and same is the case here. This is really a beautiful story. May God bless you both a bright future.

  • James
    August 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    So two neighborhood friends decide they are right for each other so the one spends all summer buying an expensive ring. What the hell?

  • Celine
    November 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    When I saw that you were the lucky girl I got goosebumps. That is AMAZING!

  • nikku
    November 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    it really outstanding..
    He is verry cute and u r the luckest girl……..
    God bless you both…..
    I can imagine ur lover.really god with both of u

  • Rishabh
    November 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    i love her unconditionally….i was an idiot like after few months i started xpecting alot from her nd then i realized that No I have to love her the way i used to…same simple n unconditional….i really love her alot….dnt want ppl to know bout my sacrifices nd love bt sorry after reading ur story i couldn’t stop myself….
    P.S. Thank you so much….O:-)

  • Lauren
    January 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    Just being selfless is not unconditional love. Sometimes you are selfish, sometimes because you have to be and sometimes because you’re human. Unconditional love is loving someone without conditions, such as “you have to be selfless”, “I have to be selfless”, “you/I can never be angry”. Anger is a selfish emotion and you’re going to feel it at some point. If you repress it because you don’t think you can be angry and/or selfish and love someone at the same time, you will never truly be in love. Loving someone unconditionally means that you love that person all the time, even when you don’t like them.

  • nonamesorry
    February 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    Remember that love is mutual.

    This is unconditional love, and if in that moment the girl rejected the ring and displayed she didn’t return the love in the same way, it’s no longer love.

  • chiedza
    June 9, 2014 | Permalink |

    very sweet n touching story..buh i fink unconditional love goes beyond sacrifice but looks at other things such as status class or even religion….knowing that you have differences buh stil choosing to set them aside.

  • Adrian
    June 18, 2014 | Permalink |

    Oh Tracey, you generalize too quick. There are men like that out there, they just don’t get recognized, you see that is part of the girl’s responsibility too. It should take dedication from both sides. Both man and woman should dig until they find the person that is like this, these men do exist but you need to find them, they not the type that just pop up, but when you find him you’ll know. This is a very beautiful story indeed, thanks Carrie for sharing it. I feel this way about a girl that I know, but she does not want love from me. It’s great when both love each other this much, but in my case, the love is only from me. So, it was hard, but I had to let her go and it broke my heart, but maybe one day it will happen again, I don’t know.

  • Cyndi
    July 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    Unconditional love is when someone isn’t nice to you, as we do to one another at some point, and they love you even when you know you deserve not love but you know they could get you back. Instead they take you out to eat, remembering what they did but you don’t hold It against them at all. This is complete forgiveness and unconditional love. Thus is real strengh!

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