Home Love Couch Romantic Love What is a Promise Ring and Is It Even Worth Giving?

What is a Promise Ring and Is It Even Worth Giving?

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So what is a promise ring and why do lovers use them? Find out everything about promise rings, their meaning and why you should give one here. By Chester Bloom

what is a promise ring

Wondering what the fuss about promise rings are all about?

Why do lovers even give them?

Promise rings can be confusing to many.

And many young lovers don’t even know why they give each other promise rings.

So is it like an engagement ring, but not really an engagement ring?

Or is it like a proposal to propose later?

Well, you’ll learn everything about it here.

[Read: 10 different ways to say 'I love you' without saying a word]

What is a promise ring?

A promise ring is just that, it’s a ring that signifies a promise of some kind.

Almost always, promise rings are exchanged between young lovers to pledge their love for each other.

But promise rings can mean many other things too, like when it’s exchanged between a parent and a child, it could be to abstain from sex.

When you give a promise ring to your lover, it must signify some kind of a promise, like telling your lover that you’ll propose someday, or you’ll give up smoking the day you get married, or that you’ll never cheat for as long as both of you are in a relationship. [Read: How to prove you love someone the right way]

There are a lot of reasons to give a promise ring to a loved one. But it all starts and ends with a promise.

The time I gave a promise ring

When I was still a student in my college years close to a decade ago, I was madly in love with a girl. We had been dating for a couple of years, and even though we spent a lot of time with each other, it just was never enough. I was crazy about her. I even knew I wanted to marry her someday.

All the words in the world couldn’t express the love that I had for her. But I did want her to know that she means a lot to me, a lot more than my words could ever express.

I wasn’t the first one who wanted to express this passionate romance that overflowed within me. For almost as long as humans could think, lovers have always looked for daring or memorable ways to express their love to their sweethearts. After all, when you’re in love with someone, you can’t help but constantly look for ways to make your lover smile. Some passionate lovers wrote poems, others built sculptures, and almost everyone else went to war. [Read: The complete guide to writing a romantic love letter to your partner]

Now I couldn’t do any of those. But I still wanted to express the endless love I have for my girlfriend.

I decided to buy her a beautiful ring, the best one I could afford to buy without losing an arm or a leg. I saved up a month’s allowance and picked up a platinum ring with a tiny diamond on it. And on our second anniversary dating each other, I planned a romantic dinner with candles at my place. To make it more special, I spend a good hour or so jumping high and sticking glow in the dark stars all over my bedroom ceiling. And after that, I filled my room up with hundreds of heart shaped balloons.

I wanted to do more, but beyond the flowers and a few gifts, I couldn’t think of anything more.

After dinner, I walked her into my room with my hands over her eyes and showed her the balloons which signified “the hearts it would take to fill all the love I have for her.” And then, I turned the lights off and showed her the glowing stars all over the ceiling. It did look rather eerily romantic. And just as she turned the light back on, I went down on one knee, took out the ring and gave it to her.

She looked really happy, and was quite shocked to be honest. But before she’d worry about it, I told her it wasn’t an engagement ring, and it was just a ring to prove my love to her and let her know that I’ll always love her. And everything about that night was just perfect. [Read: How to plan a complete marriage proposal in a unique and romantic way]

My girlfriend and I are married today and we share a wonderful relationship, and most importantly, that ring still has a special spot in both of our hearts. I pledged my love for her with that ring, and I’ve still kept that promise.

Understanding the promise ring better

When I gave my girlfriend the ring over a decade ago, I didn’t know what it was called. I had no idea back then that it was called a promise ring. But I still gave it to her because I wanted her to know how special she is and how much I loved her.

Lovers are always looking for ways to profess their love for each other. And at times, a ring can seem perfect. After all, you can feel it around your finger all the time. And each time you see it or feel it, you can feel your lover’s promise in that ring. Isn’t that just beautiful? [Read: An unconditional love story and a promise ring]

You don’t always have to give a promise ring to your lover. But if you feel like your heart’s about to burst with all the love you have for this person, look for ways to express it. And if a promise ring can express your love for you, then so be it.

Should you give a promise ring?

This is a decision that’s entirely left to you. Your lover won’t expect it, so it’s a gesture you could indulge in only if you feel the urge to give a ring. You don’t even need a promise ring to express your love for your sweetheart. You could use anything you like, as long as it’s something that your partner will appreciate and keep safe. After all, that gift has a promise in it. [Read: How to get your guy to propose to you sooner by reading his mind]

When should you give a promise ring?

Are you confused about whether you should give a promise ring or not? Here are a few good reasons to give a promise ring and prove your love.

#1 You feel so much love for this special someone, and you just want to express it through this ring. [Read: 50 really cute things to say to your girlfriend]

#2 You can’t afford a fancy ring now, but someday you can and you will.

#3 You know you’re just not ready to be engaged because both of you are too young or still not financially ready for a marriage.

#4 You think you’re ready for a commitment, and you want to make a promise.

#5 You’re really serious about the relationship and you want your partner to know that. [Read: 9 relationship stages that all couples go through]

Things to know while giving a promise ring

If you’re sure about wanting to give a promise ring, keep these thoughts in mind when you pick one up or gift it to your lover. [Read: 25 ways to make your boyfriend happy every day]

#1 Don’t buy a wedding ring or a band ring. It’ll confuse your lover, your friends and family. A promise ring can be any kind of ring in the world, as long as it looks good on your lover’s finger.

#2 It’s not worn on the ring finger. Many lovers may be alright with the idea of using it on the ring finger *I know I slipped it on my girlfriend’s ring finger*. But if you want to save the ring finger for a wedding ring, slip the ring into any other finger or on the ring finger in the right hand. [Read: How to be a happy couple that's envied by all other couples]

#3 State your promise clearly. Every time your lover looks at the ring, it has to remind them of a special promise. If you just slip it on without any promise, it’ll lead to confusions later or the ring may just have no significance other than a bling thing.

#4 Consider the ring seriously, as serious as you would a real engagement ring.

#5 Be certain about your decision to give it. Don’t treat a promise ring carelessly or buy one just to show off to your friends. It signifies one of the promises your relationship stands on. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility]

#6 You don’t need to spend two to six months of your salary on the ring. But don’t be cheap either. It has to last a lifetime even if it won’t always stay on your lover’s finger.

[Read: What is the right age to get married?]

A promise ring is a pledge of your love and a promise that you intend to stand by. You don’t always have to give a promise ring to your lover, but if you do intend to, do keep these thoughts in mind and do make a promise for a lifetime.


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Have your say!
  • Michelle
    August 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    Promise rings from parents are those acting as parents to children to abstain from sex until marriage is passable I suppose. However, promise rings for lovers is dumb. It may have worked out in your situation but in many cases it is just a manipulation tactic from the male to get the girl from leaving him because the relationship is nearing the end. Even adulterous couples give each other promise rings. It’s ridiculous. Why can’t people just make up their mind and stop being childish. If you want to marry someone give them a ring and then set a date. Oh and please set the date within the next year especially if you’re a Christian. Don’t be a hypocrite and set a date for years down the road and have sex in the meantime. It’s no wonder so many outside think Christians are hypocrites. It’s because they act it.

  • Misky
    September 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    My bf & I are exchanging matching promise rings soon. Call them couple’s rings. Lovers’ rings. It basically means you’re “going steady.” You’re not yet engaged. And no, it’s not the same as a purity ring. I’m way too old for that nonsense. I don’t get why so many are so negative about them. Love is a beautiful thing. And BTW, we’re going to wear ours on our wedding ring fingers until the promise breaks (not likely) or is replaced by a wedding ring.

  • matthew
    November 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    i have only been with my girlfriend a few months anc christmas is now coming up.
    I really do love her and I am thinking of buying her something special for Christmas. Should i buy her a ring or is it too earler?
    Perhaps any suggestions rather than a ring?

    I am 23 and my girlfriend is 19

    Would appreciate it a lot

  • Luis
    November 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    yah is early Mathew wait like a year maybe buy her a necklace

  • Luis
    November 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    Michell doesent know meaning of love :p u want a promise ring micheell form ur fiancé

  • Detronyx
    December 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    First thing’s first; when giving a girl a promise ring (or anything that is NOT an engagement ring!!) DO NOT get down on one knee!!!! This may scare her or get her hopes up too high, and may actually cause disappointment. Promise rings can be given in much more casual but still romantic ways. Be creative, if that’s your style, but don’t go all-out and make it seem like a proposal.

  • Matt
    February 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have been with my girlfriend for less than a year but her and I have a pretty serious relationship. We had started out with a great friendship and then went on, we are both young (I’m 19, she is 20) but he had both talked about our future and marriage, I knew there was something special about her that no one has showed me before and I know she is the one for me. I want to give her a promise ring because obviously we are too young to marry and we are not ready financially and we haven’t been together long enough. We are also both Christians and we have set our relationship on certain standards. I just want to give her something to express my love and to show that I’m am committed to moving forward with our future.

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