Being madly in love is an amazing thing… until it starts negatively impacting the rest of your life. Here’s how to find balance when you can’t focus.
There’s nothing wrong with being madly in love. It’s one of the best feelings in the world and you should revel in every moment of it. However, you can’t forget to live the rest of your life. Yes, you want to get lost in love with your partner but if you don’t pay attention, you’ll start ruining everything else around you.
And what good is love if the rest of your life sucks? Sure, you’ll still have a loving partner but even that can get screwed up if you don’t have a job, friends, or hobbies. You need to keep a well-balanced life if you truly want to be able to enjoy your love.
Obsessing over your partner will make your relationship worse
In a new relationship when you’ve fallen madly in love, it’s easy to get lost with them and only want to spend time with them. But that can actually hurt your relationship and make your love burn out faster than it even started.
Spending too much time together can make you get sick of them. I know what you’re thinking, you won’t get sick of them if you’re truly in love. But you will if you spend every waking hour together. You can also grow to resent them the more time you spend away from other things you love.
You’ll spend less time on your hobbies and way more time with them. This will ultimately bring you less joy, not more. You love the things you do and you love your friends. Eventually, you’ll start to blame your partner for keeping you from them and resentment will form – even if you don’t notice it at first. [Read: 12 steps to stop obsessing over someone]
How to balance your life when you’re madly in love
Knowing how to keep your life balanced when you’ve freshly fallen in love can be hard. You’re basically blinded by your partner. And while this might not be a bad thing, slipping up at work and not nurturing your friendships can be costly. Here’s how you can maintain your life even after falling for someone.
#1 Spend time apart. Haven’t you ever heard the saying, “distance makes the heart grow fonder?” It’s not just something people say to be cute. It’s true. You need to spend time without each other in order for your relationship to be healthy.
Yes, even people who live together will find time to spend apart. You need to keep your sanity. It’ll also make you happier when you do get to see your significant other. You’ll cherish your time more and be able to enjoy being with them a lot more than if you spend every day together. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and not drive apart]
#2 Schedule “you” days. Basically, have a set day each week where your partner goes somewhere else so you can have a day just to yourself. The benefit to actually scheduling these days is that you’ll do them even if you don’t want to.
Believe me, you need those days. Being around your significant other can be a little exhausting, even if you are madly in love with them. It’ll be nice to have a day where you can relax and just do things you enjoy without having to worry about your partner.
#3 Keep in touch with friends every day. Just stay connected. You don’t have to talk to them about every little thing all the time but you should make sure to talk to them. Friends can drift away the less you see them. And if you’re madly in love with someone, you’ll see your friends less often.
But if you keep in touch and make an effort with them, they’ll continue inviting you out and making an effort to see you, too. If you don’t, they’ll likely reach out less and less. And before you know it, you won’t have friends left. [Read: 8 kinds of friends everyone needs in their life]
#4 Make an effort to spend time with friends. At the same time, you also have to be inviting your friends to do stuff too. Reach out to them and make sure they know that even though you’re madly in love, you still have time for them. They should never have to question if you want to still be friends and see them.
#5 NEVER give up your hobbies. Your hobbies are what make you, you. They’re the things that bring you joy aside from your partner. When you can’t do the things you enjoy because of your significant other, it’ll form a rift in your relationship.
At first, you won’t even notice it. But after a while, you’ll start growing upset with them without knowing why and it’ll be because you can’t enjoy your hobbies. So make sure you’re actively working on your hobbies whenever you get the chance. [Read: 25 hobbies for couples that want to have more fun together]
#6 Communicate with your partner well. Just make sure you’re talking. You both need to make sure you tell each other when you’re upset or need space. Talk to them about missing your friends and wanting to spend more time with them.
If you’re truly in love, then you both want the other to be happy. Keeping your line of communication open will certainly help with that.
#7 Plan out your date nights. The best way to spend time together even amidst your crazy life is to plan out date nights. And I mean pick a day each week that’s exclusively for date night. Therefore, you’ll always get a date and you’ll always have time to be intimate with each other.
This also gives you six other days to plan other things. Sure, you’ll probably spend more than just that night with your significant other but it’s important to have the option of making other plans if you want to keep your life balanced. [Read: 33 awesome date ideas every couple should try]
#8 Never ignore your other duties. You have a life to live. Just because you’re madly in love doesn’t mean you can ignore it. This person is a part of your life now but just a part. Don’t neglect your other duties and responsibilities because you’re distracted by their presence. In order to have balance, you need to keep the other things in your life going strong.
#9 Get into a routine. Having a routine with work, friends, and your significant other will help you maintain the balance you need to function happily. You’ll be able to see your friends this way. You’ll be able to dedicate time for work this way. Your relationship will not suffer from having a set routine that helps you keep the balance. [Read: 11 quick and easy morning routines to jumpstart a great day]
#10 Remember that it’s HEALTHY to keep the balance. If you’re madly in love, then you’ll want to stay that way, right? If you don’t keep the balance in your life, your relationship will suffer. Just remember this and it’ll help you put forth an effort to keep your life balanced.