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How to Spoon Right: 11 Tips to Make Spooning More Intimate

what is spooning?

We hope you’re comfortable, because we’re looking at the health benefits of cuddles and ways to make spooning even more intimate *and yes… there’s sex!*

For most couples, nothing sounds better on a lazy Sunday than to Netflix and chill while spooning with their partner. For those who haven’t had the pleasure, spooning is a lovely act between two people that by definition refers to kissing and all-around cuddling.

For the majority of people, spooning means a couple cuddling in the “back to stomach” position. This intimate gesture is commonly enjoyed post-sex and can actually provide tons of health benefits.

5 ways to make spooning more intimate

Want to know why spooning is good for your health, or how to make your romantic cuddle even more awe-inducing? Whether you’re the big spoon or the little spoon, we’re looking at five ways to make spooning even more intimate with your lover.

#1 Change up your positions. There is surprising variation when it comes to spooning positions. For example, you could sleep with your legs interlocked, you could sleep back to back, or in the classic “big spoon/little spoon” side by side, you can cuddle face to face, cuddling side by side with the little spoon’s legs up, or you could be two spoons tussled in a drawer by having the big spoon lay on their back with the little spoon laying on their partner’s chest.

Much like with sex, different positions add different levels of intimacy with their partner. [Read: 16 non-sexual touches to feel loved and connected]

#2 Kissing while you cuddle. Kissing is one of the ultimate bonding experiences and can add intimacy to nearly any scenario when done right. This means no licking of the face or tongue down the throat. Soft, passionate kissing adds intimacy to your cuddling and who knows… may lead to a passionate end to the night. Figure out which position works best for your personal smooch sesh and get to it.

#3 Breathe in unison. A study done by the University of California found couples in a relationship tend to synchronize their heart rates and breathing patterns when holed up in a snuggle-fest. Furthermore, behavioral psychologist Robert Epstein found that couples who synchronized their breathing had a stronger bond of romance and intimacy. Holding one another’s body so close is the perfect time to practice breathing in sync!

#4 Use cuddling as foreplay. Spooning often leads to boners, and boners often lead to sex… so why not use your cuddling time as sexcellent foreplay? Allow your hands to wander the little spoon’s body. As the big spoon, touch your girlfriend *the little spoon* between her legs, and, ladies, use your bum to grind up against your man’s hard-on. Spooning is a great way to enjoy each other’s bodies on an emotionally and physically intimate level. [Read: How to cuddle: Cuddling positions to be a much better lover]

#5 The spooning position for sex. Spooning is an amazing position for sex. First of all, it’s lazy—who doesn’t love that? Neither partner has a lot of work to do in the spooning position. Second, it’s really romantic. Third, as the male big spoon, your hands are entirely free to touch your lover’s breasts and clit while you go at it.

Spooning sex has a great relaxing factor of laying down, all while having the dirty back entry that usually comes with doggy style. An even bigger benefit? You’re both in the perfect position afterwards to head off to sleep! [Read: 7 naughty ways to trick your mind into having sex dreams]

Health benefits of spooning

As mentioned, spooning is about way more than just a post-coital cuddle. Spooning has plenty of health benefits that should definitely put this couple’s pastime on your radar. Here’s a couple of our favorites:

#1 How to get closer with your mate? By spooning, of course! Many studies have been done about the scientific benefits of spooning. One study found couples who spoon rated higher relationship satisfaction than couples who didn’t. This also leads to better communication and overall happiness in relationships. What’s not to love?

#2 Cuddling = less stress. Did you know that spooning releases oxytocin? It’s true! Oxytocin, sometimes called the love drug is released during bonding experiences, such as during orgasm or in post-coital cuddles.

This beautiful hormone release lowers stress, eases anxiety, and can even combat physical pain. Did we mention it also increases hormones that help boost your immune system? Yeah, it’s basically magic. [Read: 14 sexy benefits of sleeping naked you had no idea about]

#3 Spooning is good for your sleep. Sleep is linked to pretty much all healthy qualities of your body: brain function, mood, heart health, energy levels… You name it, sleep helps with it! This bodes well for snugglers, since a study done by the University of Pittsburgh found that women who snuggled their partners to bed reported a better night sleep than single women participating in the study.

Couples participating in a similar spooning study reported a closer bond and feeling of safety during slumber.

3 ways you’re spooning all wrong

Still not getting the hang of the up-close and cuddle? Spooning isn’t always easy, and there are plenty of ways your intimate gesture can turn into a crick in the neck—literally. Here are three ways you’re spooning all wrong, and what you can do about it.

#1 Neck cramps. Here lies the most common spooning culprit: the sore neck! Cuddling into the crook of your man’s arms feels like the most amazing bonding experience ever… for about five minutes! After that, your neck gets totally sore.

Not wanting to end the spooning session you soldier on, only to end up with a giant pain in your neck. The solution? Cuddle him with both of his arms lying flat so you can support your neck under a pillow, while still getting the chance to drape your arm and leg over him. Problem solved!

#2 Boners. Whether you’re spooning your way to a good night’s sleep, or are just enveloped in one another’s arms during a Netflix binge, a hard-on is probably in your spooning future. Some women love it, some aren’t so thrilled.

For those who love the feeling of a rock hard dick against their backside, party on and enjoy the ride! But those who don’t? Simply adjust so your bum isn’t hitting his groin, or switch positions so you’re lying on his chest instead of giving his member a chance to figuratively feel you up.

#3 Getting crushed. You know what fails to make spooning more intimate with your partner? Getting crushed by your mate’s body weight in their failed attempt at cuddling!

Fix your crushing cuddling flop by readjusting your position so the little spoon’s back is straight against the big spoon’s stomach. Or, try having the female *or smaller mate* be the big spoon. This will protect your partner from feeling like a smashed potato underneath your cuddle and also does wonders for hurt necks!

[Read: The clueless guys’ complete guide to cuddling after sex]

There are plenty of ways to make spooning more intimate, with plenty of health benefits to follow! So long as you’re spooning in all the right ways and making sure to avoid the cuddling pitfalls, you’ll be on your way to a closer relationship and a healthier life!

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Minot Little
Minot Little

Minot Little is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peop...

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3 thoughts on “How to Spoon Right: 11 Tips to Make Spooning More Intimate”

  1. Stupidguy says:

    I just moved into a new apartment in the city. The previous tenants are friends of my roommate and I, which is how we found the place. Well, one of those girls who is moving out, can’t move into her new place until 2 weeks later, so we told her she could stay with us until then. This girl is a hard 9…sometimes 10/10. Probably one of the hottest girls I’ve ever met in my life. Long legs, gorgeous face, perfect body. Plus she’s chill as hell and has an awesome personality… Really a great person to hang out with. She also just got out of a long term relationship with a total douche. Anyway, she’s been staying on the couch for the past week, so we’ve been hanging out a lot. Going out to eat together, cooking together, watching movies, getting drunk and smoking weed together. Its been really fun actually. Well last night I had to get some work done in the living room, and she wanted to go to sleep – so I told her she could take my bed for now and I’d come switch with her when I was done. The night before I did the same thing but I just crashed on the couch and let her use my bed. So after I finished working I went into my room, she woke up and asked if I was done out there. I said yes. Instead of getting up to go to the other room, she scooted over in bed to let me in. Cautiously I got into bed… Eventually I put my arm around her, and she slid right up against me so we were spooning. I laid there like that for a while, but the whole thing felt kind of awkward. Normally in this situation I’d just go for it. But in this case I’ve never looked at her as more than a friend before, since I always thought she was out of my league, and I didn’t know what this meant or if I was creeping her out. Anyway, I was getting pretty worked up and horny in that position, and not knowing if she wanted me to make a move, I rolled over and went to bed. LOL

  2. Take my hand says:

    Three weekends in a row I would wake up next to this girl andthe only article of clothing I would have off was my shirt. I just assumed that I had gotten too drunk and simply passed out before anything could happen. Turns out she had a boyfriend who lived 9 hours away and was just using me as her, “cuddle buddy.” She even told her boyfriend about me and how she was cuddling up to me every weekend. THEN when he came to town she introduced us. Fuc*ing awkward. We ended up outside for a smoke at the same time and I apologized to him and told him nothing happened and I had no idea she had a boyfriend. He said that’s exactly what she told him. We talked for a while about how weird that was, then started talking about being in the mountains, then snowboarding, then we found out how similar we were, and ended up becoming friends haha

  3. jameson says:

    I was reading article and it brought up memory in my mind of my last LTR. I am a cuddlier and one thing that has always bugged me about spooning is that my Lil buddy likes to be awake and at attention for this activity, even if I am spooning before bed. Now I’m sure some of you are thinking that I should just rub it out or ask her to but my current SO is not anywhere near ready for that stuff (I.e. we don’t even sleep in the same bed when she sleeps over). So to sum up my rant, do women find it annoying if a guy has a boner while spooning or as long as he is not trying to go any farther is it not a big deal?

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