The secret behind knowing how to be happy in a marriage is far easier than what most people assume. Find out what really matters in a happy marriage, and how you can use to it stay happy.
To understand how to be happy in a marriage, you don’t always need couples counseling or a mediating friend.
At times, all it takes is a bit of understanding, love and the willingness to be humble and accommodating with your partner.
Here are a few simple pointers on how to be happy in a marriage.
It may seem simple, but as a matter of fact, it’s all you need to bask in the beauty of a long and happy marriage.
How to be happy in a marriage
To experience a happy marriage that’s free of anger or frustrations, both of you need to understand what really matters in a happy relationship, and how to deal with annoyances and painful moments.
And beyond that, you need to understand these simple facts on how to be happy together.
Little acts of love
All of us know the importance of the little things in love, but it’s still one of the most overlooked areas in a marriage.
Don’t stop trying to please your partner with little acts of love just because your relationship is older and more mature.
Even an occasional bunch of flowers, a box of chocolates or little love notes can bring a smile on your partner’s face and bring the affection and love back into a marriage.
Celebrating the big moments of love like anniversaries and birthdays can seem important, but what’s more important are little acts of love and affection that shows your partner that you still look for little ways to please them now and then. [Read: Little things in love that matter]
Compliment each other
You may take a lot of initiative to dress up for your partner or cook a fancy dinner for your partner. But if your partner doesn’t acknowledge your initiative, you’d obviously feel let down. If this happens on a regular basis, you’d give up on trying to please your partner.
And what starts off as a hopeful relationship where both of you try to appreciate each other will soon start to feel like a relationship where both partners take each other for granted and don’t care about trying to please each other, because quite frankly, neither of you try to please each other or compliment each other.
You may be surprised, but this is one of the biggest reasons behind why married couples stop trying new things or looking for ways to make each other happy. After all, if you or your partner can’t recognize a change, why bother changing it?
If you want to know how to be happy in a marriage, pay attention to your partner and always remember to compliment or acknowledge even the smallest of things, be it a new recipe or a new dress. It’s a start that can bring happiness and excitement into any marriage.
Listen to each other
Communicating and listening to each other is vital in a happy marriage. Most couples talk at a dinner table, but there’s hardly any excitement in their conversations. Over time, it’s easy to slip away into a relationship where neither of you communicate your interests with each other. Try to create intellectual conversations about life, long term plans and shared goals with your partner. It’ll help both of you understand each other better even as both of you change and evolve as individuals. [Read: Communication in a relationship]
Have an active sex life
Your sex drive may change over the years, but that doesn’t mean it has to become non-existent. A great sex life is as important as sharing affectionate moments with each other. [Read: Why is sex important in a relationship?]
Remember the first few months of your relationship when both of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? You don’t need to become frisky bunnies again, but it wouldn’t hurt to bring back the love into bed. Find your own way to bring the passion back and you’ll see the positive effect it can have on your relationship. It’ll leave you happier, it’ll bring you closer, and make you feel more secure and confident.
Share a few hobbies
Happy, passionate conversations can start to decline as the years together start to get longer. To understand how to be happy in a marriage, you need to keep the laughter and fun of an excited conversation going strong. Try new activities together and create new experiences with each other, be it hitting the gym together or gardening. [Read: How to better a relationship]
It’s easy to get absorbed in personal interests by yourself, but if you involve your partner together and have a fun time, it can bring both of you closer and create engaging conversations that both of you would be excited to talk about.
Don’t look at your partner as an opponent
At times, even in the happiest of marriages, it’s easy to let tempers flare. But even if both of you disagree over an issue, you really need to understand that it’s only a difference in opinion that can obviously be sorted out. Most couples have a tendency of looking at a partner like an opponent during these conflicts. Avoid that.
No matter how bad the argument gets, always remember that it’s only your loving partner and it’s only a difference in opinion. No argument should ever drive a wedge in between the both of you or bring out your worst sides.
Don’t have egos in love
The secret behind knowing how to be happy in a marriage is simple. Don’t have an ego in love. If both of you truly do love each other, do you really see a point in trying to get an upper hand? Does it really matter who’s winning or who’s losing? In love, both of you win together and lose together! [Read: How to cheer up your partner]
If there’s ever an argument in love, you really don’t have to win it or prove a point that you’re right. Be humble and let angry emotions die down before you speak about it if it’s an issue that definitely needs to be addressed.
On the other hand, don’t disrespect or put down your partner in front of others. Don’t ever argue with your husband or wife in public because it can end up leaving a permanent scar of vengeance and crushed ego that’ll never do any good for you or your partner.
Learn to end a conflict
This is one of the biggest pointers we can ever give you on how to be happy in a marriage. Every time you have an argument or a disagreement, no matter what, kiss and make up immediately.
You may be so furious that you’d rather wring your partner’s neck than plant a kiss, but nevertheless, even if you’re fuming, apologize to each other for getting angry and make up for it. It’s not easy, but knowing how to end a conflict with love is one of the best kept secrets of a happy marriage.