3 Months Relationship: The Time to Get Real and Let the Crazy Out
The first couple of months of a relationship are probationary. Congratulations! You made it to the 3 months relationship stage, so let the crazy out!
The 3 months relationship marks are so awesome, aren’t they? It is the perfect stage, like a baby being nine months. A time of bliss, you aren’t feeling awkward and timid, or working so damn hard to look good all the time. You’re finally able just to sit back and enjoy the ride, right?
Well, maybe not exactly bliss, there are some things that you might have to forego when you get to the 3 months relationship mark, like infatuation and texting every moment of the day. But, what you gain is the right to slowly let the crazy out of the bag. Now, you might be sitting there pretending that you don’t know what I am talking about… but we all do.
20 things you can do at the 3 months relationship mark
Most people hide things from our significant other when we are first getting to know each other so that we don’t scare the other person off. But, the 3 months relationship mark is where you get to let you be you, and let me be me.
It is also a time when you can stop worrying about scaring them off with talking about the future or asking for what you want. If they haven’t left by now, you are probably worth sticking around for.
So, take a sigh of relief. Like passing a midterm, these are all the things that you are now allowed to do without fear since you are at the 3 months relationship mark.
#1 Wear your cotton underwear. Forego the Victoria Secret panties every day and wear something a little more comfortable. Holes are still not okay, but satin is no longer a “must.” [Read: 9 relationship stages that all couples go through]
#2 Text when you feel like it. At the beginning of a relationship, you don’t want to seem too eager, which puts all sorts of constraints and rules on your communication.
After the 3 months relationship mark, all bets are off. It is okay if they know that you like them that much and vice versa – you are all settled into it and can stop holding yourself back when you want to say “hey.”
#3 Be grumpy if you want. You don’t have to put on a smile every time they are around. After three months, it is okay to let the less than happy person out of the closet and allow yourself to have real emotions. Better yet, if you are crabby, be crabby. That is what a relationship is about, peaks and valleys. [Read: New relationship? Everything you need to know for the perfect start]
#4 Use the words “us” and “we” and not shrink a little. Before the 3 months relationship mark, you are on probation, which means that talking about the future is like mentioning “Voldemort.” Once you pass the three-month point, you can start to use defining words like “us” and “we.”
#5 Introduce them to your crazy ass family. We all have crazy in our family, they are the people that we keep from someone we like out of fear. It is okay to let the lesser of your genetic pool come out and take them to a family gathering where the extended family will be. The best part about it is that you have someone else to make fun of them with you.
#6 Go out with the girls or guys without fear. At first, you just want to be together every minute of the day. After about two months, you kind of miss your friends, but are afraid to say so. The 3 months relationship mark is when it is okay to rejoin society without making the other person feel bad or left out.
#7 Don’t put makeup on if you don’t want to. You don’t have to take one layer of makeup off to put on another or jump out of bed before he does to fix your face. Lay around on Saturday without any makeup at all if that is what you want. [Read: 13 weird ways *farts* to build intimacy with your partner]
#8 Watch your quirky shows. Whether it is a man drama or the history channel, or lifetime or BET, you can watch your quirky shows, even when they are around. Hell, at the 3 months relationship mark, you can even show them that you’ve been DVR-ing them.
#9 Stay in on a Friday night. You have already showed them what a fun person you are, it is okay to let the nerd who wants to stay in on a Friday out the bag. It is totally acceptable to admit you just want to settle in on the couch and not feel bad about it. Once more, if they want to go out, you can be okay with letting them go alone.
#10 Eat dessert. Stop saying “I can’t eat one more bite” and order whatever you want for dessert. You don’t have to hold back on who you are and what you want anymore, you can just be “you.” [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]
#11 Stop ordering a salad. If you have been ordering a salad out of insecurity or because it is inexpensive, it is time to order what you really want instead of ordering something for show or out of courtesy. Likely at the 3 months mark, you are sharing the table, so order what you want and enjoy it!
#12 Get really pissed – but say you are sorry. Stop saying it is fine and you are okay if it is not fine and you aren’t okay. At first, we hold back our anger and only show our sweet side.
If there is something that they do to hurt your feelings, it is okay to show the ugly side. Just don’t go overboard with crazy eyes and always, whether you are at the 30-year or 3 months relationship mark, say you are sorry if you overdo it. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]
#13 Be mad when they hurt your feelings, and say so! You can stop pretending that you are just a “roll with it” type of person. If they have been doing or saying something that has been hurting your feelings for a while, but you’ve been brushing it off, it is okay to finally let them know that whatever they are doing is hurting you.
They would much rather know than to wait until you are resentful for it because you never opened your mouth.
#14 Show your slutty side. If you have some secret moves or desires that you have been keeping to yourself because you were afraid it might indicate that you are a bit more “worldly” in bed than you wanted them to know about, all bets are off. Be the freak in the bedroom, they will not think less; they will thank you for it! [Read: 36 racy and random questions to open up your sexual sides]
#15 Let the cat out the bag about your sexual fantasies. If you have a fetish or something that really turns you on in bed, it is okay to make your sexual requests known.
At the 3 months relationship mark, it is all about trying to do the extra things to spice up your sex and make each other feel good. Who knows, you might find that you have more in common than you think. [Read: The kink list – 20 freaky fetishes that aren’t weird at all]
#16 Admit that you don’t really work out. You can stop putting on your exercise clothes or telling them that you are hitting the gym. If you don’t work out, it is okay to admit it. They probably already knew anyway, but just being honest and putting it out there is the best way to go.
#17 Don’t, and I mean don’t, ever talk about how many people you’ve slept with… it isn’t that solid yet! What it isn’t time for at the 3 months relationship mark is to tell each other about your sexual past.
Not only does talking about past sexual histories lead to insecurities, but it can also make it very uncomfortable to be around people that you know without them wondering “them too?” [Read: How to talk about past relationships with your partner]
#18 Cry if you must… both of you. Yep, it is okay to be a typical woman and cry when something makes you, well, anything. Guys, if you are going through something tragic, then you are allowed to stop holding it all in.
At the 3 months relationship mark, you have earned the right to have feelings even when they are intense.
#19 Stop playing games and let your guard down. Stop thinking about whether you are texting too much, being too clingy, staying over too much, requiring too much time, being seen on their social media. At three months. there are no games… it is real time. [Read: 14 signs you’re getting way too comfortable with each other]
#20 Be yourself, your genuine real, true, honest, self! Stop pretending either to like things you don’t or not to like things you do. At three months, it is time to be honest about who you are what you like. Just be you and let them be them.
The first couple of months of any relationship can be fraught with worries that someone will discover who you really are and won’t like you. Or, worse yet, that you like them more than they like you. So, you play the early months games.
But, now that the probationary period is over and you are ready to make something real and lasting, it is time to open up that crazy closet and let things out slowly.
Mind you, however, that even at the 3 months relationship mark, you don’t want to open it up to have skeletons flying left and right… take it slowly. But, be you, let them be them, and decide now if they really are the one for you, for real.