You’re in a relationship but aren’t sure if it’s the real deal or a rebound. Well, what is a rebound relationship? Here’s how to tell where you fall.
Whether you’re the one rebounding or you’re the one someone else is rebounding with, it can still be hard to know where your relationship lies. And what is a rebound relationship anyway? What makes it so different than a “real” relationship?
The truth is, they are extremely different. And while a rebound relationship can be turned into a real relationship down the line, knowing you’re in one is still really valuable. That being said, it’s not all that easy knowing when it’s happening.
Rebounds aren’t as healthy as we all think they are
Many people will tell you to rebound in order to get over someone. While this works to some degree, you usually don’t remain with this person. They’re used as a method to get your mind off your ex while the wound they left is still fresh.
Then it heals up and you move on. However, this isn’t healthy. A lot of people go into rebound relationships and don’t even take the time to get over their ex. When things with the rebound settle down, they’re left with all of those grievous feelings and it’s pretty unhealthy. [Read: 13 rebound sex questions to know if you’re ready]
What is a rebound relationship, though?
A rebound relationship is when you break up, it leaves you upset and even sort of angry, and in an attempt to get over your ex, you get with someone else. Instead of just hooking up, you enter into a full-blown relationship.
But how do you know if this has happened and you’re not just in a regular relationship? Here’s how you can tell if you’re in a rebound relationship.
#1 You were just dumped. So your ex broke up with you and now you’re with someone new already. While you may get defensive about this, you could be in a rebound relationship. You might not think of your partner as a rebound, but they could still be serving as that.
#2 You still miss your ex, even with the new person. If you find yourself thinking about your ex over and over again while with this new person, they could be the rebound.
#3 They just got out of a long-term relationship. If you’re with someone you know just got out of a pretty serious relationship very recently, you may be the rebound. This isn’t always the case, especially if they broke up with the ex, but it’s still a solid clue.
People who are freshly out of a relationship often look to rebounds in order to get over their exes. The relationship they form with someone new right away can easily serve as just that. So be careful.
#4 Things moved pretty fast. If your new relationship got started right after your last and you skipped right into full-on relationship mode, it could be a rebound. Since the break up is still so fresh, it’s easy to slip into that routine since it’s what you were just doing. If this happened to you, it’s probably a rebound. [Read: 20 signs your relationship is moving way too fast]
#5 Your relationship is sex-based. Many ask, what is a rebound relationship? The truth is, it’s a lot of sex. Sex helps people get over their exes because it forces them to bond with someone new.
Which means if your new relationship is all sex and hardly anything else, it could be a rebound for either you or them. Keep this in mind but don’t think having a lot of sex is the same thing.
#6 You don’t know too much about their past. This is because they don’t want to tell you that they just got out of a relationship. Either that, or you don’t want to tell them. So you simply don’t talk about it at all. Not knowing much about someone and still being in a relationship with them is a major sign it’s not real.
#7 They talk crap about their ex. And they do this a lot. This is even more true if you already know they recently broke up with them. No matter whose idea the split was, talking crap about an ex to a new partner means they’re not over them.
#8 You talk bad about your ex. For all the same reasons this proves you’re a rebound when it comes to them talking bad about their ex, if you do the same thing, you could be using them as a rebound.
If you can admit that you’re not over your ex and talking crap is a way of doing that, then your current relationship isn’t a very solid one. Meaning, they could be a rebound and you might not even realize it.
#9 You don’t really meet their friends or family and vice versa. Basically, your relationship is only between the two of you. You may have seen a friend or two coming and going, but you haven’t spent the time to get to know them. And that’s because neither of you really thinks it’s important to do.
#10 You describe the relationship as casual. It’s not a very serious relationship. When you’re in a rebound relationship, it’s basically just a fling. So if you really feel like the relationship isn’t a big thing, it could be a rebound.
When you’re only with someone to get over someone else, there isn’t a lot of emotional attachment. It’s like you look at them as a means to an end, even if you don’t fully realize it. [Read: 15 reasons why casual dating is the best ever]
#11 You hardly talk about the future. Neither of you really brings up plans for distant future events and you really never talk about it at all. And that’s because you both don’t really see it going anywhere.
But this could also be one-sided. You may be the rebound and want to discuss future plans and they don’t want to talk about it at all. That’s a great sign you’re the rebound and they’re using you to get over someone.
#12 Things just don’t feel real. You can just tell something is off. And if you’re reading this, chances are you can feel it. When your relationship doesn’t feel right and you’re unhappy in some way, it’s a sign something is wrong. In this case, it could just be a rebound relationship.