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18 Emotions You Shouldn’t Feel in a Healthy Relationship

We go through a range of feelings when we’re in a relationship. But if you’re faced with these unhealthy emotions, it may be time to cut it loose.

A relationship should feel like a support system, a safe haven, and a place to express yourself openly without being mocked or judged. Settling for less than you deserve by staying in a dead end or unsatisfying relationship will only make you feel more isolated and alone.

If a relationship affects your mental sanity, disrupts your inner peace, corrodes your self-esteem, and generally makes you feel more negative than positive, you should either let the relationship go or seek help in improving your relationship. People seek relationships in order to feel happy, accepted, and complete, but when you feel any of the following emotions, ask yourself, “What’s the point of staying in a relationship that’s doing more harm than good?”

Emotions that shouldn’t be felt in a healthy relationship

While no relationship is perfect, you still shouldn’t settle for a relationship that always makes you feel any of the following emotions:

#1 Neglected. One of the greatest feelings in a relationship is knowing that someone cares about you and wants to make you happy. Feeling neglected in a relationship or feeling like you’re left to fend for yourself is not a characteristic of any relationship that is worth sticking around for. A good partner will care about your needs and will strive to make you as happy as you make them. [Read: How to stop feeling ignored by the one you love]

#2 Alone. Companionship is what a relationship is all about. If you feel like you are alone all the time, ask yourself why you’re even staying. If your partner is always leaving you to hang out with friends and forgetting that you have needs too, consider moving on.

#3 Belittled. A partner should love and appreciate you, shortcomings and all. If your partner always points out your flaws in order to make them feel better about themselves, it’s high time you find someone who’s more accepting of what you have to offer. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

#4 Afraid. A relationship is supposed to be a safe place in which you feel protected from the harsh realities of the world. If you feel like you are living in constant fear of abuse or disrespect, or generally don’t feel safe with your partner, you need to break free before the problem escalates.

#5 Like walking on eggshells. If you feel like you are constantly on edge around your partner for fear of angry outbursts, accusations, or insults, this relationship is extremely unhealthy. You should be comfortable around your partner and not feel like you have to constantly monitor your actions in order to prevent a blowout. [Read: 12 signs you’re walking on eggshells in your love life]

#6 Unworthiness. A healthy relationship will make you feel confident and secure within your own skin. Feeling unattractive or undesirable as a result of your relationship is not a good sign that you’re with the right person. Your confidence should never be lacking as a result of your partner’s words or actions. [Read: 17 questions to ask yourself to know you’re being abused in love]

#7 Inferior. Feeling powerless, inferior, or like you have no voice in your relationship is always a red flag. You should not lose your assertiveness or opinion as a result of your relationship. A relationship should feel like an equal partnership, not a struggle for control.

#8 Taken advantage of. If you feel taken advantage of in your relationship, or your partner makes you feel used, you aren’t being treated in a way that you deserve. Whether it be financially, emotionally, physically, or mentally, feeling like your partner is only with you based on the benefits you provide them is selfish to say the least. [Read: 11 signs to know you’re being used for sex or money]

#9 One-sided. Effort should be equal in a relationship. You shouldn’t feel like you carry the sole responsibility for keeping the relationship afloat. Your partner should be meeting you halfway, and if they aren’t pulling their weight, consider leaving them behind. [Read: What happens when you’re just an option to the one you treat as a priority?]

#10 Manipulated. Manipulators have this knack for being subtle in the way they manipulate others. You may think that you’re doing things out of love for your partner, but upon closer inspection, they might be manipulating you to do what they want you to do. If you ever feel like you’re being duped into doing something you’re not sure you want to do, it’s a clear sign that your relationship is extremely unhealthy. [Read: 12 subtle signs you’re being manipulated by your lover]

#11 Obligated. A relationship should be something you want to be in, not something you have to be in. If you’re in a relationship out of a sense of duty or due to feeling like you owe your partner something, you’re staying because of some form of obligation. A relationship should be based on love, attraction, trust, and honesty, not a twisted sense of duty.

#12 Suffocated. A jealous and possessive partner who inhibits your freedom and autonomy can be stifling and restrictive. These partners will never be happy until they can possess you completely, and you will be left waiting to exhale. [Read: 5 clear signs you’re completely smothering your partner]

#13 Betrayed. Feeling betrayed in a relationship or being lied to and deceived regularly is one of the worst feelings to endure by a person you once trusted. If someone betrays you or lies to you on a regular basis, they don’t deserve your loyalty or your presence.

#14 Insecure. Not all relationships become 100% secure, but you should feel at least some sort of security when you’re with your partner. If you constantly feel like the tiniest issue can cause your relationship to crumble, you should either find a way to strengthen your relationship or find someone else you can be more secure with.

#15 Trapped. Just like you shouldn’t feel obligated in a relationship, you also shouldn’t feel like you have no better options in life. Believing that a less than stellar relationship is the best you can get is a myth that only keeps you from finding someone better.

#16 Stagnant. A relationship should feel like growing together, planning for events, and sharing common goals for the future. A good relationship should have progression, commitment, and shared goals to reach together. When your relationship feels stale, as if you’ve reached a dead end, it’s time re-evaluate the relationship to see if it’s still worth continuing.

#17 Under surveillance. Privacy is essential in a relationship. You shouldn’t feel monitored constantly by a partner who needs to know what you are doing 24/7. If you feel like you are under constant surveillance, your partner is far too obsessed and controlling to have healthy boundaries in your relationship. [Read: 20 glaring signs of a control freak who loves control]

#18 Isolated. Does your partner always try to drive a wedge between you and the outside world? It may seem flattering at the start to know that your partner wants you all to themselves, but in reality, your partner is just trying to limit the world to just the two of you. And that’s obviously a sign that it’s time to break free!

[Read: 21 signs of emotional abuse you may be overlooking]

While relationships aren’t solely composed of the happy and fun times, the good times should always outweigh the bad. If you constantly feel any of the above emotions in your relationship, remember that you have every right to leave your partner if they don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated – with love and respect.

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5 thoughts on “18 Emotions You Shouldn’t Feel in a Healthy Relationship”

  1. Pamela S. says:

    This one really hits home. My relationship at first started out great, but now it’s a constant “eggshell walk” because I know stepping out of line will just lead to one giant blowout. Maybe it is time to move on because I’m getting sick of all of what I have to feel on a regular basis. I’m definitely unsatisfied, but I’ve come to be pretty dependent on him as an income and home provider. I really don’t know what to do at this point. Should I just keep my big yap shut for the sake of having financial security or risk it all and find happiness somewhere else?

  2. Joseph says:

    Usually people feel one or more of these emotions while in a relationship, but think that it will pass. It won’t. If you feel any of these emotions the best thing that you can do is leave. If you feel any of these emotions that person doesn’t really love you and you have to learn to cut your losses and keep it moving. My last girlfriend treated me like crap, but I accepted it because I did not think that I would be able to find anyone else like her in the world. I realize now that I do not want to find anyone like her, but someone better. Good luck!

  3. where you are says:

    Actually, why not just grow the fuck up. You’re supposed to feel all kinds of emotions because you are human. You’re partner is not responsible for how you should be feeling because you’re the one feeling it. Sure, the emotional toil may be caused by your partner but your feelings are brought about by your mind and you are the one that controls your feelings. I put blame on you for not being able to control how you feel. How dare you try to judge your partner with the way you feel. How dare you say that you should never feel this when you are the one in control of what you feel. No one really gives a fuck about your feelings, not even your partner, he just wants to fuck you up all night long, he could care less about what you feel bitch. Just don’t go crying when your feelings really get the worst out of you because it was your choice that it made you that way. Don’t go and blame others for the fault you caused. Don’t fucking destroy a perfectly good relationship just because you feel something wrong. You choose what to feel bitch, choose to feel happy! IF you want to be happy you have to feel it for yourself, it’s your motherfucking choice! Stop whining and complaining already and just control your fucking emotions you spoiled brat. Just because your mother wanted you to feel a certain way before doesn’t mean that your partner should do the same, you’re a grown ass woman for crying out loud. Stop being so stupid and just make a choice of feeling happy. Even if you look retarded trying to feel happy just be happy!

  4. Wemet says:

    You should never feel unloved in a relationship. It’s the one thing that keeps you going despite all the challenges and strife, your partner should know better and do better., you should be with a better partner. I really think this is obvious because I have been through that kind of relationship where I felt really unloved to the point that I was just pouring my heart out and getting no love in return whatsoever. I mean, what’s the point in being in a relationship when you are the only one loving, right? I really felt it and she said that a couple of times too, in a joking statement. I felt that it was really true, though. After all, jokes are half meant and it really shows what she is thinking of me. I don’t want to be half loved by somebody I love my whole heart with. I decided that I could no longer live like this and had to end it all. I was really frustrated and heartbroken way before we broke up. When I did break up with her, I felt the opposite way, I felt really relived that I was free and can do anything as I please. I had no more obligations, no more pouring blood into the water, no more strife. I was a free man and it made me live my life great again. She didn’t take it lightly and she still said that she was the best I will ever get and no one can ever be good as she is. Well, she is so dead wrong by saying that because I’m positive that I can find a lot of girls that are better than her but I will choose the perfect one, next time.For now, I just want to live my life a free man and enjoy it. After all, we only get to live for a short period of time. I don’t want to live it as a slave for someone’s love. I don’t have to make that big of an effort for someone who doesn’t love me. I’m regaining back all the love I gave so that I will let the next person, the perfect person, receive all of it again and more. I will be a better lover for my better partner. I love it and I'[m making a motto for myself now. It’s really awesome starting over again and I really want you guys to join me in the singles club, it’s so much awesome.

  5. Mary L. says:

    OMG! I can’t help it but notice how he follows every move I make. I feel so suffocated and trapped. Sometimes I even think that he will violently enter in my house or something. When did we become like this? Oh I am so desperate, ladies. He just doesn’t stop and I am afraid to tell anyone about this. What if he punishes me in some way? What do you think girls? What should I do?

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