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10 Signs You’re Lovesick and 10 Ways to Get Out of It!

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Lovesickness is a very real thing, and can even be fatal. Find out if you’re lovesick using these 10 signs and get out of it before it’s too late! By Elizabeth Arthur

lovesickness

Have you ever been in love with someone who does not love you back?

You can call it limerence, unrequited love or a one sided love story, and in all probability, you’d be right.

[Read: Signs you're experiencing limerence and not just a little crush]

But sometimes, as simple as a failed or a secret romance may seem, it could be devastating for the person experiencing it.

What is lovesickness?

Lovesickness is the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that we associate with a failed experience in love.

Almost all of us may have experienced it in various forms over the years.

But for some people, it’s extremely hard to bounce back from lovesickness.

They carry the thoughts of a person in their mind for several years, and at times, even several decades.

[Read: Are you still in love with someone who may have forgotten you?]

Have you ever had a crush on someone years ago? Do you still fondly remember them even today?

Do you find yourself lost in thoughts about this crush of yours during a few lonely moments where you constantly ponder over the proverbial “what if…”?

That’s just a small taste of lovesickness you may experience now and then.

But for many people, this is something they experience tirelessly. The thoughts of a failed relationship or a crush weigh their minds all the time, and it distracts them from everything else in their life. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship or a crush is holding you back from enjoying a new relationship]

The hopelessness of loving someone who doesn’t love you back

If you can’t stop thinking about a particular romantic interest of yours, and you find yourself lost in their thoughts all the time, however hard you try to push the thoughts away, chances are, you’re suffering from lovesickness.

Lovesickness is a hopeless feeling. It isolates you from everyone else, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t find a way to get over it. After all, all you want is a special someone, and this someone is a person you can’t have for one reason or another. [Read: The real reason why you aren't able to find happy love in your life]

With each passing day that you feel lovesick, you’d feel more stressed and more reckless, more annoyed by their ignorance and more elated each time they give you any attention. And before you know it, you’re a confused mess who’s suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder, depression and a feeling of dark hopelessness.

Why do some people feel lovesick while others don’t?

Uncertainty is the biggest motivator of lovesickness. And that’s as simple as the answer gets!

If you fall in love with someone and ask them out, and they reject you outright in the very first conversation you have with them, you may feel lovesick for a few hours or a few days, but you’ll get over it very soon.

But if you fall in love with someone, hide your feelings for them or get mixed signals back in return from them, that’s when you’d start to experience a bigger and more serious form of lovesickness. [Read: How to read mixed signals and turn it into love]

Unrequited love, mixed signals and limerence makes lovesickness a big threat to your happiness and your lifestyle.

Lovesickness gets worse if your love interest rejects you for several weeks or months, and then tries to win your attention back again just as you try to get over them. This is something you’re bound to experience when you’re in love with a selfish person who only cares about themselves. [Read: 15 signs she's just leading you on and taking you nowhere]

Selfish people reject you when you woo them or try to get closer to them, and just as you give up and walk away, they’ll start giving you mixed signals again and try to get you to fall back in love with them. [Read: 10 signs to recognize a selfish person and 5 ways to get away from them!]

Lovesickness could seem trivial to a person who doesn’t understand what the lovesick person is going through. But at a certain point, lovesickness could even lead a person to commit suicide. The helplessness a lovesick person feels could convince them that their life is meaningless without the affection of a special someone. They’d feel lost and confused, and with the mixed signals they receive, they’d find it easier to just end their lives instead of enduring the pain and constant emotional turmoil of a confused love affair.

10 signs of lovesickness to watch out for

There’s a thin line between heartbreak and lovesickness. Take a look at these signs to find out if you’re lovesick, or on the verge of experiencing lovesickness. And if you do see these traits in yourself, speak with a friend and try to pull yourself out of the pit you’re digging for yourself. [Read: Why does love hurt so much when it goes bad?]

#1 Mood swings. You almost always feel depressed or hopeless, and believe you have no reason to live if you can’t have this person’s affection.

#2 Isolation. You love isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Nothing interests you anymore, and all of a sudden, you start to feel like none of your friends understand you or what you’re going through.

#3 You’re tired all the time. The mental stress you endure constantly tires you easily, and you don’t have energy to do anything you want to do.

#4 Appetite. Even looking at food makes you queasy. You suffer from loss of appetite and weight loss.

#5 Distractions. You’re always distracted, and nothing you do ever feels like it’s to the best of your abilities.

#6 Obsessive compulsive disorder. You find yourself constantly checking your email, facebook page, or your cell phone to see if you’ve received a new message from this person. You may know you aren’t going to get a message, but compulsively checking them becomes a part of your lifestyle. [Read: What is unrequited love and ways to get over it completely]

#7 Hoarding. You treasure this person’s memories and hold on to little things of no significance or value like a movie ticket or a strand of hair. You just can’t bear the thought of losing it or throwing it away because it means so much to you.

#8 You overanalyze. You spend several hours analyzing the things this person says or the particular words they use, and try to see things from different perspectives even if it’s something as trivial as a wave or a hello.

#9 Tearful. You feel like crying for no reason at all. You feel depressed for the smallest of things and you’re oversensitive about everything in your life.

#10 Insomnia. You have difficulty sleeping. Every time you lie down, your mind is filled with thoughts of your crush or your ex. You spend several hours tossing and turning in bed even if you try hard to just fall asleep. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never ever like you back]

10 ways to stop feeling lovesick and move on with your life

Lovesickness hurts, and there is no escaping it until you make up your mind to move on with your life, or confront the issue. Here are 10 things you can do to stop feeling lovesick and start controlling your life again.

#1 Ask them out. Wear your heart on your sleeve and ask this person out. What’s the worst that could happen? They could decline you. It’s okay to fail at something. What’s worse is not trying! [Read: How to tell a girl you love her without losing her]

#2 Hate them. Do you even realize what this person is doing to your life? Your life is spiraling out of control and you’re messing up in every part of your life only because this person is toying with your feelings. [Read: The best way to get over someone you love is by hating them]

#3 What makes them ugly? Look for their flaws and try to remember it all the time, be it their facial expressions, their low IQ, or their lack of etiquette. And compare them mentally to other good looking people you see on the street. Once you realize that this person isn’t as awesome as you once thought they were, you’d be able to take them off the pedestal you’ve built for them.

#4 Keep your mind occupied. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Is it shopping? Is it playing games? Indulge in something that excites you and makes you feel good about yourself. [Read: How to get over a crush easily and have fun doing it!]

#5 Get social. You may have been avoiding your friends for a long time, but it’s time you get out and have fun with them. Party, have fun and realize that you can still have a great life even if this person isn’t in it!

#6 Burn those memories. Do you have any photos or memorabilia of this person? Burn it, burn all of it. You’ll feel liberated in no time!

#7 Rationalize, but don’t obsess. It’s okay to think of this person now and then. Shutting them off completely may make the addiction worse. But each time you spend a few minutes thinking of this person, avoid drifting away into fantasyland. Reminisce, rationalize and move on within a few minutes. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works!]

#8 Spend time outside. Nature is wonderful and full of beauty. Spend a while outside in a park or a garden. Stare blankly at the green leaves and the flowers and admire them for their beauty. Isn’t it frustrating that you’re letting this one person darken your heart when there’s so much beauty in the world?

#9 Flirt with someone else. They say that the easiest way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. If you don’t feel like dating someone just yet, at least try to find someone who catches your fancy and flirt with them. It’ll keep you distracted and help you regain the confidence you’ve lost. [Read: 20 things you can do to stop thinking about someone you still love]

#10 Accept that it’ll take time. Wounds don’t heal overnight, and your lovesickness won’t go away too soon either. Accept the fact that it’ll take time, but try to avoid thinking of this person, and avoid all triggers that reminds you of this person. It may take a few weeks or a few months, but the memories will fade away soon as long as you focus on having fun in your life.

[Read: 10 types of love you'll experience in your lifetime]

If you’re lovesick, change your state of mind using these tips. You may believe that lovesickness isn’t such a big deal, but as the months and years pass by you, you’ll only wish you would have tried harder to get over this person and reclaim your life sooner!


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Have your say!
  • Brittany
    June 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Yep. I’m love sick. lol All these signs apply to me. Especially the OCD, the mood swings and overanalyzing.

    It’s kind of ironic too because I’m the one that broke up with him. I guess my heart still can’t accept what my mind already knows- we’re not right for each other. Every time we get back together, we end up breaking up again because I’m reminded of this.

  • Wayne
    July 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    Love SICK to the Max

    Always having problems faling asleep, always be my self, always have constant thoughts about her, always get super excited when she said hy or flirts with me, Most def with OCD cant go with out checking my phone of FB

    Now ive tried all the ways to get over her besides confessing, But cant do that either without feeling my whole worlds gonna come to an end if I do, but its gonna come to an end regardless when she leaves. Every day thinking and night thinking about her don’t what to do and going crazy cause of it.

    Guess that’s what its like to be hook on a drug

  • balencigaga
    September 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    its hard when the person is still in your life and is so lovely to you..you cant hate them.

  • Really hurting
    October 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    Balencigaga, not sure which is worse? having that person who is still in your life being so nice or having them not be so nice. I’m on the other end, the person isn’t into me anymore, yet still is around a bit and it’s really hard to be around them…I hurt all the time and even though I know he isn’t ‘into’ me anymore my heart feels he is and I’m having trouble letting go.

  • ...
    October 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    Lovesickness feels like dying, it’s the most painful feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life.

  • Chris
    November 18, 2013 | Permalink |

    Love sick sucks but to be 15 and in love with the same girl for 5 years and have her love u back but know u cant be together sucks even more especially when she knows she’s horrible and constantly breaks ur heart

  • WhiteInaba
    December 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hi. I just have to let it out here. I’ve been single all these times while other close friends have been going through relationships and some lucky ones even found their soul mates. Every time I go outside, all I see is lovey-dovey couples every where. Makes me even more depressed to step outside. Even when my best buds keep me company, they are only there physically. I tried to understand their situation and not be so selfish.

    Lately, some of my best buds tried to fix me up with their friend. As not to waste their effort, I tried my best to start a relationship. A year, has passed, nothing happened. I’ve seen the sensitive side of this person, giving moral support all the way, cheering him up when he is down. Then, I got to know that he is observing another girl, with the intention of starting a relationship with her. Then I realized that I’d unknowingly fell for him. I was forced to put on a smiling face and give him a push. I keep telling myself that nothing ever happen in the first place. There was no special feelings in the first place. All these happening in front of me. I try to forget everything I felt about him but there is a glitter of hope that he will one day confess to me. Hate to admit it, but it’s eating me from within. Love sick? Foolish? Desperate? I won’t deny but I hope to be stronger and a better person.

  • Data Becker
    January 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    This article made me smile more than it shouldve, thank you.
    Key was how you phrased “and believe you have no reason to live if you can’t have this person’s affection.” Its true ofcorse, but its also a very silly thing to do.

    Im not so good with love, infact i actually never had a real meaningfull relationship in the 26 years im alive.And girls pretty much always reject me in between the third and fourth date. And after being rejected again last week (we actually dated for 3 weeks, kissed and *** and than she told me she had a boyfriend, yay) I fel into a deep isolation and felt like the world was ugly and a terrible place.

    But im starting to find my resolve again. I will not give up fighting for what I want and I will try to smile at least once a day.

    Thanks again for the good read.

    PS. Seriously though, is hating really a good emotion? It never helped me one bit, cause i only started feeling bad for hating and ended up loving that person more.

  • Anastasiya
    July 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have been loving a guy for a year and a half now and he told me he has a girlfriend and yeah i understood..hespopular, hot, and duh he would hav a gf. Sooowe just walked away our own paths……but lately ive been feeling some attraction to him… Lovesickness and that feeling when u wanna go cry in ur pillow and die…. Help me!! What should i do?!?! Why duznt nobody like me? Why have i been single ALL my life?? Why? Whats wrong with me?? Am i too fat? Or not popular enough?!?! Whats wrong with me?!?! Why am i a loner?!!!?!? ???? {:’[

  • Why
    August 15, 2014 | Permalink |

    This is a good article, thanks! I cannot get over my ex no matter what I do. We were together for 10 years (I’m 28) and every semi-recent memory I have was with him. Everything reminds me of him and I end up crying every day. It’s been a year and a half since the break up and I still love him as much as I always have. Hoping I’ll get over him and the tremendous loss I’m feeling at some point. Haven’t had any luck dating, because it makes me sick and all I want is my ex. So hopeless. I wish he still loved me like I love him.

  • Freiheit
    August 30, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have this Macedonian foreign exchange student in my high school German class, her name is Masha. I think that I kind of love her. I feel stupid saying that to be honest. I feel as though I am much too young to be dating however I feel oddly compelled to ask her out. Everything about her is perfect to me. When I look at her I feel sick. I haven’t gotten any more than 4 hours of sleep every night. And the worst part is that she leaves the high school for Macedonia in December. I’ve always been particularly shy, especially when it comes to the opposite gender, and I have so many doubts about asking her out. But I know for a fact that if I don’t ask her out then the proverbial “what if” will haunt me for years to come. I don’t know her culture so I’m not entirely sure if it is socially acceptable to just ask a girl out. I don’t know if she has a boyfriend (it wouldn’t surprise me if she did she is gorgeous and smart and very mature compared to the other girls her age). I am extremely afraid that she will take it the wrong way and believe that I want to have sex with her (I don’t). The feeling of hopelessness is indescribable. Please help me. I have no idea what to do and I feel physically sick all the time thinking about her. I feel like I need mental help to be entirely honest. That’s how bad my obsession over this girl is. I have never talked to a girl who wasn’t directly related to me unless I was forced on a project or something and I dreaded every second of it. I keep telling myself that she will have to leave in December and even if we did get together it would be utterly pointless for us to ever get together. But my heart is a lovesick idiot and seems to think that I could somehow gain something from this relationship. Should I just continue to ignore or should I ask her out? Please help. Thank you if you do help me.

  • Karlie
    September 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have tried my hardest to get this guy to love me and I’m exhausted by having everything on my shoulders… Now he says he’s looking up old girl friends because I fight with him too much.. Yeah, I do fight with him. I fight with him to take care of what we have and to protect it.. Yeah, I;m always the bad guy here… My heart breaks… I can’t go on..

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