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7 Secret Signs that Reveal a Bad Relationship

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Are you really in a happy relationship that’s heading towards a happily ever after? Read these 7 secret signs of a bad relationship to know the truth. By Chester Bloom

signs of a bad relationship

Relationships can, at times, be far more complicated than it seems on the surface.

You could see a cute couple who are happy together and assume they’re going to be hitched for life.

And before you know it, the happy couple could break up and go their own ways?

Still water always runs deep.

What seems perfectly stable on the outside may not be so on the inside.

Sometimes, you may think you’re in a perfectly happy relationship when in truth, you may be heading towards a turbulent future with your lover.

[Read: What makes a relationship a good one?]

Secret signs of a bad relationship

When you’re floating on the high of a happy relationship, it’s easy to overlook all the little nagging issues that crop up now and then.

But before long, it’s the little things that’ll create bigger problems as they snowball over time.

Don’t let infatuation and intense affection for each other blind either of you from building a successful relationship on constructive grounds.

Keep an eye out for the hints of a bad relationship that show up now and then, and fix them before it gets worse. [Read: 16 tips to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]

The 7 secret signs that reveal a bad romance in progress

Constant arguments, affairs or unhappiness may be the big signs of a bad relationship. But these big signs don’t just crop up out of nowhere. And it’s the secret signs, those subtle hints that can even seem funny at first, that make way for the bigger problems to seep in.

Read these subtle signs of a bad relationship, and if you do experience something in your own relationship, weed them out before it affects your relationship further.

#1 Eye rolling. Do you take your partner or their suggestions seriously? You may find yourself dumbly smiling at your lover or ignoring your partner when they’re trying to say something to you. And your partner may even laugh about it.

But the fact that you didn’t listen to your partner or assumed that you were superior to your partner in that aspect shows that you don’t take your partner seriously. To begin with, it may just be a one off incident. But if you find yourself rolling your eyes each time you hear something from the next room or repeating ‘whatever’ inside your head, ask yourself why you’re taking your partner so lightly?

#2 Dominance. Dominance and power play in a relationship can be confusing to read, especially if you’re being subtle about it. Do you feel like one of you has more power in the relationship? A happy relationship has to have an equal balance of power between the two lovers. If you feel like you’re being dominated or not given enough control of the relationship and its direction, speak about it with your partner. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling partner]

#3 Loss of respect. Respect for each other is crucial in a relationship. If you don’t respect your lover, your lover would start to shy away from giving suggestions or even playing a part in the functioning of the relationship. And almost all the time, your partner will end up getting attracted to someone else who respects them and likes them for the person they are. [Read: The reasons behind why you're slowly falling out of love]

#4 Speaking ill of each other. Don’t insult each other just to get even or win an argument. And this is especially important when others are around. Don’t ridicule your partner, and definitely avoid saying anything demeaning to your partner when others are around. No matter how you say it, it’ll always be taken badly by your partner.

On the other hand, some people love talking about their partner’s inefficiencies to their friends, as if to expect solace and comfort. But by speaking ill of your partner to others, you’re only reassuring yourself that your partner is not good enough for you. How can a relationship last when all you’re trying to do is convince yourself that your lover is not good enough for you?

#5 Avoiding conflict and avoiding resolutions. Sometimes, it’s easier to overlook a few differences rather than pick a fight over it. But if something bothers you, don’t avoid talking about it with your partner.

If you find yourself grumbling to yourself about something, be it the dirty sink or the clothes lying around, but you still avoid talking about it to your partner, it’ll do more damage than good. The rage that accumulates inside you would start to distance you from your partner, and yet, your partner would have no idea about what’s bothering you. [Read: 7 steps to the happiest relationship you can have]

#6 Taking each other for granted. This is one of the most common signs of a bad relationship. All of us take our partners for granted. But there’s a thin line between feeling good about helping someone and feeling like an overworked mule. It’s very easy to unknowingly take your partner for granted. Learn to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself how you’d feel. It’ll help you realize when you’re being overbearing and annoying. [Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]

#7 Silence. Talk is cheap and silence is golden. True, almost in all cases, but not in a relationship. When you’re in love, communication helps open up both your minds and creates a better bond. Do both of you spend your evenings watching your favorite telly shows after work, and hardly talk about anything with each other? It may seem like a perfect way to relax after a tiring and long day.

But over times, this lack of communication will disconnect both of you from each other. And soon enough, both of you won’t have anything to share with each other because your minds and ideas are so far apart.

[Read: Perfect things to talk about in a perfect relationship]

If you’re looking for signs of a bad relationship, focus on these 7 signs to begin with. After all, even the biggest of relationship problems have to start with these little secret signs.


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Have your say!
  • March 12, 2012 | Permalink |

    interesting, sometimes i do the rolling eyes just because hes annoying but nothing more. we respect each other. nice list you have.

  • Freida
    June 12, 2012 | Permalink |

    In a relationship, it’s so very important for two lovers to make a conscious effort to work on the relationship all the time. It’s not a chore, of course, but it’s something we happily indulge in.

    It’s about being selfless. It’s about indulging in little things that can make the other person happy. It’s about keeping love alive in little ways.

    Once couples stop trying to please each other, they start to take each other for granted. And even if both partners don’t take each other for granted, at least one partner may start to get laid back in love and absorb the other person’s affections greedily and not give back.

    I believe that once a relationship starts to stagnate, because one or both partners become greedy, these signs of a bad relationship start to crop up. It may start off as small signs like the rolling of the eyes or speaking ill of each other, but over time, if these signs remain unchecked, they’ll definitely head towards the bad side of love.

    I wasn’t aware of all these points, especially the pointers mentioned here about “Silence” and “Avoiding conflict”, but what Chester Bloom explains here makes for an enlightening read. If only all couples understood these signs, the world could be so much more romantic and happy!

  • okot raymond
    July 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    Oh thank you, Chester, because I have been in that situation but didn’t know before, but as I read this, I promise I will use your points to get back my love, and I will bring you the result, everyone out there take this seriously and try it out, and don’t just read them. I wish every one well, Raymond.

  • Samanta
    July 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    Wow, this website is really helping me realize a lot about my relationship. Every time my boyfriend annoys me I roll my eyes or when I don’t wanna listen to what he has to say, I roll my eyes… Wow, I’m so glad I came across this website.

  • georgie
    October 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    Hey everyone I need help!!
    Ok so I’ve been going out with this guy for 2 months
    At the start things were excellent he would message me just about every morning, call me beautiful and call me just to hear my voice. He seemed perfect
    Then about one month ago his phone was cut off which was ok cause he would call me just about daily and use wifi and facebook me when he could. Somedays he would call me more than once.
    Than his phone came back on and ever since then the contact has been less and less i feel somedays if i want to hear from him i have to make the effort and contact him. I want to hear from him but am too scared to message too often- i dont want to seem needy.
    We see each other once a week (mainly cause of work) and he seems caring when I am around him. He used to want to see me spur of the moment though that has now changed and when we do meet he occasionally pushes back the time
    Please help is he losing interest? If so what do i do? or am i being paranoid?

  • Oh My Christ
    October 25, 2012 | Permalink |

    Yes Georgie, he is definitely losing interest.

    I’d dump him before he dumps you.

  • Athena
    December 5, 2012 | Permalink |

    All good points… barring one, inaccurately put.

    It is a problem if the flow of dominance doesn’t reflect what you want and need from a relationship… this is not necessarily the same as an equal flow. While there should definitely be equal respect, equal power is another issue entirely. Some people are natural leaders, while others prefer to let someone else handle the stress and responsibility of that decision making.

    I myself am a sub, and the fact that my partner is dominant and our power flow inequal is far from a bad thing – I would feel unsatisfied and unhappy if it weren’t the case. I would also fast become stressed to the point of damaging our relationship, because without someone taking the control and responsibility away from me for a time, I am very bad at letting go of it and tend to burn out. It takes some time to really start affecting my own mental and physical health, but the health of my relationship suffers very quickly as I spend more and more time needing to just be quiet and recharge, and my partner becomes neglected because of it.

  • Sofia
    January 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    my boyfriend does 6 of the above, but i do the one he doesnt, ill speaking…i know its wrong, but i cant talk to him about my problems because he doesnt listen or blames it always on me…i love him to bits but i dont know what to do anymore….

  • Veronica
    March 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    My boyfriend always watches tv after work, and when I try to talk to him its all about the tv and he blows off what i say by constantly agreeing and not even looking me in the eyes , which i know hes not listening. What should I tell him?

  • ziena
    April 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    Nice but I do not agree with number 7. There are times my boyfriend and i sit and watch tv without saying a word because thats how much we enjoy each others company. We just have that connection where nothing really has to be said. as long as we are in each other’s presence we are content …

  • ziena
    April 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    But we do communicate with each about EVERYTHING. We understand each other and he listens most of the time…

  • Cookie Larson
    November 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    There is this man that im in love with, And he tells me that he loves me to, But he is living with another women. He says hes going to move in with me when I get a place, Well I got a place and hes still living with this other women. Then he tells me he will move in with me the first of the year. Well I gess I will have to wait till the first of the year to find out. But I really don’t think he will because I heard him on the phone telling her that he loves her. She don’t know anything about me, Any ideas

  • renex
    January 16, 2014 | Permalink |

    Pls I need advice
    my guy all of a sudden he does not pick my calls nor reply my calls or messages or to visit and am feeling that he does nt want the relationship. I dont know what to do.

  • ladya
    March 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    Help me please,
    I meet a guy for about 8 months ago,. He is 15 years older than me and devorced. for the first 6 months we worked together, i already had somefeeling with him and he showed st also (invited me to cinema, texted me after work,held my hands…). We started dating 2 months ago but there is something
    1. I always feel that i fall for him and he just dating with me as i like him first.
    2. He is now texting with another girl (i knew they did before we start dating). The girl has just broken up with her bf. And the saddest thing is that i found out that when he drunk, his texted her first, called her but no reply then he called me. I knew that bcoz i check his phone and when he saw that he got mad (even don’t know that i know about that girl). We argued and i said i want to stop but he said that it is misunderstanding. What should i do?
    What is our stage in my relation now?
    Should i dump him and how? Should i just cut the line, stop contact? Or have conversations?
    Is it possible to save this relation? (he is my first man :( )

  • blankmind
    July 11, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hi well iv been with the mother of my child for about 5years now but have always been back and forth..ever since I can remember..we have lost of good times and lots of bad but mainly the reason of this is because we are currently apart and been so for 2 months now and everytime we talk she ends up arguing with me and when I go over to visit my son she Argues with me which I dont like id rathe be quite then argue and throw gas into the flame..but I still feel like we should work it out..but everytime I try to start over and put my best foot fowerd she still acts like im not doing anything different she don’t notice that all I want to do is make this relationship work but she will never foget or forgive the past..I hear it all the time …so what should I do

  • MultiNatChick
    July 20, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have dated a man for nearly five months and he seems like the perfect man. He does not play games and is dating me exclusively as I am him. We both agree that the ‘relationship’ is going well, but there are a few things that bother me. He has talked about taking things ‘further’ and for me to meet his parents.

    1. He does not give me a title, so I don’t know if I am his ‘girlfriend’ or not.
    2. He never calls it a relationship… he says ‘seeing each other’.
    3. He never discusses marriage, but he says ‘future together’.

    What does this mean and what is the stage of this ‘relationship’?

  • kenneth laura
    July 22, 2014 | Permalink |

    After been in relationship with a guy for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr, Aduwawa and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: (aduwawaspiritualtemple@yahoo. com) or you can call him on +2348112019701, you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR.

  • Minna
    July 24, 2014 | Permalink |

    It’s great that you are getting thoughts from this paragraph as well as from our discussion made at this time.

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