You may be sitting next to your partner, watching a movie and contemplating, should we break up? But how do you know that’s not a phase or the real deal?
Relationships are never easy. Anything involving two people is a challenge. When you’re in a relationship you never really know what the other person thinks. However, through actions, you see when someone isn’t feeling the relationship and thinking, should we break up?
Should we break up? 17 ways to find your own answer
Who said breaking up was easy? But there are signs. I love to analyze which usually bites me in the ass. But now I see the signs a mile away. Remember, you also have to see the signs within yourself as well.
So, if you’re asking yourself, should we break up? Ask yourself why that question keeps popping up.
#1 The communication died. There is no communication between you. Your partner has a Christmas party tonight? You didn’t even know. Yeah, well, it’s not because they forgot to tell you. Well, they did, but that’s because they don’t feel the need to tell you. It’s not like they want you to go with them. [Read: 18 emotions you just shouldn’t feel in a happy relationship]
#2 No more sexy time. If there’s no more sex, you’ve transitioned into the brother and sister phase of the relationship, or as I like to call it roommates. You’re now roommates that occasionally look at each other while eating dinner. That’s it.
Don’t get me wrong, couples experience phases; however, at some point you must ask yourself—is this a phase or a permanent transition?
#3 You find more amusement staring at a lamp. If you find more happiness feeding the pigeons on your balcony, it’s time to sit down and evaluate your relationship. Relationships have their downs, but they’re supposed to make you feel joy and happiness. If you gain nothing positive from the relationship, take a close look at it.
#4 You fight over minimal things. Yeah, yelling at your partner because they left the ketchup bottle out is obviously hiding a deep issue. Examine what causes you two to bicker with each other. It’s not the small things, there’s something huge hiding behind it. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]
#5 You stop thinking about the future. You used to talk about moving in together. Now that’s a topic that never comes up. What happened to the goals you made together? Without mutual goals, how will the relationship progress?
#6 No more touching. People go through a dry patch in the bedroom, but still maintain affection. When your partner stops hugging you or holding your hand, something is wrong. Affection is necessary for a relationship. I would say it’s even more important than sex. [Read: 16 non-sexual touches to feel connected and loved]
#7 Your eyes wander. Listen, I acknowledge a good-looking guy when I see one. However, I’m not slipping him my number or giving him mad eye contact if I’m in a relationship. I don’t need him. However, if you are, then you’re clearly looking for something new.
#8 Therapy isn’t working. You’ve done couples counseling and everything your therapist tells you to do goes in one ear and out the other. Relationships are hard work, so if you’re not willing to put the work in, maybe they’re not worth it enough for you.
#9 You’re unfaithful. If you’ve cheated on your partner, you need to ask yourself why. The phrase, once a cheater, always a cheater, is something I don’t believe in. There are numerous reasons why people cheat. It may be they aren’t the right one for you. [Read: Tempted to cheat? 15 reasons why being faithful is so hard]
#10 It’s the blame game. When you fight, neither of you takes ownership for your side of the fight. This shows immaturity in your lack of taking responsibility. Now, your partner is also guilty of this. If you blame each other constantly, this is not a mature relationship.
#11 You’re living your own life. Though you may live together, it certainly doesn’t look like it. You’re lucky if you see your partner once a week. I mean, between yoga classes and going out with friends, how are you going to fit them into your schedule? If that’s how it is, then you should reconsider the two of you.
#12 Nothing to say anymore. You used to sit at the dinner table and discuss anything and everything. Now, you’re lucky if your partner asks you about your day. What happened to the verbal communication between you two? [Read: 15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship]
#13 You’re finding ways out. If you look for jobs across the country just to move away from your partner, that’s not a good sign. You should never want to find a way out of a relationship unless you don’t think you should be in it.
#14 No more laughing. Laughing is a huge part of the relationship. It shows the emotional connection you have together. If there’s no more laughing, it looks like the connection between you and your partner is dwindling. Now, you can fix this–if you want. [Read: How to fix a broken relationship – 15 tips to make it last]
#15 You’re always thinking about breaking up. If you openly talk about breaking up with your partner to your friends, you’re already past the point of no return. I mean, to think about it when you argue is one thing, but to constantly think about it to the point of advertising it, is another.
#16 You feel trapped. If you find yourself feeling like you’re caught in a maze and can’t breathe, well, that’s not the feeling of love. That’s being lost and suffocated with negative emotion. Relationships shouldn’t make you feel like you’re being choked with a pillow. They’re supposed to make you feel like you’re flying. [Read: 7 signs you’re trapped in a troubled relationship]
#17 Do you know deep down? Listen, if you’re already questioning what you should do, then you already have a feeling something isn’t right. It’s time to really be honest with yourself and ask yourself if this relationship is worth salvaging.
I know breaking up is hard, and contemplating over the “should we break up” question is harder. But the faster you start taking control and stop living in denial, the easier it’ll be. Trust me, you can do it.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...