Want to know how to stop thinking about someone you like and miss? Here are 20 tips that can help you with that and make you a better person too. By Sophia Strutt
It’s hard being ignored by someone you like.
And at other times, it’s painfully hard to force yourself to stop thinking of someone when you know it just can’t work out.
I’ve been in many happy relationships myself and a few of them did end in a bad way where I was left in the lurch.
[Read: The 10 types of love you'll experience in your own life]
And I’ve been madly in love with someone who I know will never love me back for silly reasons.
At the end of it all, through my turmoil and pain, I learnt a few things that helped me stop thinking about someone you like, especially when they don’t like you back.
How to stop thinking about someone
You may have your own reasons to stop thinking of someone.
While the reasons to stop missing someone may be plenty, the ways are all similar.
Here are 20 easy tips that you could use to stop missing someone and realize where you’re going wrong at the same time.
[Read: Are you in love or is it just limerence?]
#1 Make up your mind. What do you really want to do? Do you want to get over that person or do you just want to stop obsessing over them? Sometimes, clarity is all you need to progress and face reality.
#2 Look for closure. Don’t ignore the incident or avoid thinking about it. Instead, accept the fact that the event happened. Spend a day or two brooding over it by yourself and once you feel saturated by thoughts, let go and move on.
#3 Don’t feign memory loss. Don’t pretend like you don’t miss that person. Don’t try to forget that this person existed. Instead, just focus on ways to avoid getting affected by it. [Read: Can you really be friends with an ex?]
#4 Find someone else to think about. If you want to stop thinking about someone, the easiest and perfect way is to find someone else to think about. Create a distraction and start obsessing about someone else. It’ll work wonders.
#5 Don’t look for ways to contact them or bump into them. It’s easy to fantasize about circumstances and happy reunions. Instead, give up on plotting ways to contact them and accept the fact that you are looking for ways to stop thinking of them. [Reads: Signs your ex is really thinking about you]
#6 Think of their negative traits. If you’re smitten by someone, it’s time to knock them off your pedestal of awesomeness. Think of it, this person wasn’t as perfect as you imagined them to be. If you want to avoid falling in love with them, remember all their flaws and heighten them.
#7 Don’t be depressed. It’s easy to get depressed and suffer from low self esteem, especially when you feel like someone’s walked all over you. Have a laugh yourself and enjoy a good time. Watch funny youtube videos or a comedy to remind yourself of how it feels to laugh. [Read: A facebook breakup that led to a suicide]
#8 Don’t stay idle. An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Heard that one before, haven’t you? In this case, it’ll be the workshop of the one you’re thinking about. You do know it’s stupid to give this person any more space and time on your mind. So keep yourself occupied and avoid thinking of this person.
#9 Don’t stalk them, online or offline. Social networks have made it so much easier to stalk exes and crushes. While it may seem like a gift, it’s still a curse. You’ll never move on unless you keep all news of this person away. [Read: Are you googling your ex often?]
#10 Respect yourself. This *special someone* walked all over you by treating you like dirt. They don’t respect you nor do they care about you. Do you think you respect yourself enough? If you do, why are you humiliating yourself by obsessing about someone who clearly doesn’t deserve any of your time or love?
#11 Learn a new activity. Learn or do something that’s always excited you, be it playing games or joining a dance class. It’ll fill your mind with fresh, happy thoughts that’ll eventually wipe away all traces of the person you’re trying to get over.
#12 Don’t criticize yourself. Don’t try to pick flaws in yourself and find reasons for their behavior. Sometimes, some people are just selfish or they just suck. There’s nothing wrong with you.
#13 Avoid romantic movies. Avoid romantic movies, songs and shows. It’ll just stir up all those locked emotions and turn you into a sadist who loves torturing yourself. Watch fun movies or for something even better, watch wild sexy movies involving lots of friends or single people.
#14 Visit new places or go on a vacation. Sometimes, all you need is a fabulous vacation with friends to clear your mind and focus on new things. You’ll come back feeling a lot better. [Read: Do you think you're jealous of your ex?]
#15 Accept the fact that they’ve moved on. Remind yourself that they’ve moved on and forgotten all about you. You know what, this person doesn’t even care about you anymore! They’re probably thinking of someone else right now. Disgusts you, doesn’t it? Well, accept the fact and let that give you the strength.
#16 Don’t talk about that person with your friends. Indulge in gossip, but avoid talking about this person even if it feels sickly satisfying to talk about them.
#17 Pretend like you’re having fun. Don’t let your chin hit the floor. As screwed up as your life may seem right now, all it takes is your initiate to move on. Go out, meet people, pretend like you’re having fun and you’ll start having fun without realizing it.
#18 Get yourself a rebound relationship. Were you dating this person? Did you have a crush? Or was it just a friend? Your ex relationship status doesn’t matter here. All that matters is you finding a way to replace them in your life. We feel bad because of the sudden emptiness that’s in our hearts. Fill that up and you’ll feel no pain at all! [Read: Ways in which a rebound relationship can be good for you]
#19 Clingy and powerful opposites. Don’t let this person know that you’re hurting. Remember this, the clingy person who’s having a hard time moving on is the weak person in the relationship. And the more weaker and clingier you behave, the more easy you’ll make it for the other person to get over you. Do you really want to make it that easy for them? [Read: Should you date your ex again?]
#20 Remember that it will all pass. There is no short term plan or a silver bullet here. If you want to know how to stop thinking about someone, you need to take an initiative and have patience. You may not stop liking them today or tomorrow, but it’ll happen sooner than you know. All it needs is your strength.
[Read: Are you experiencing unrequited love?]
Just remember these 20 tips on how to stop thinking about someone you like and it’ll help you realize the facts. You need to move on. This person doesn’t care about you anymore. You definitely have what it takes as long as you believe in yourself.
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Help me please
thx for this, i feel so much better, but im still in love with him… hope i get over it soon
Im still super in love with him. One day he was teasing me the next day he had stopped and hes never talked to me since and the only way i can get him to talk to me is when i draw attention to myself and he already has a girlfriend and hes on instagram but i stalk him all the time because almost all the people i follow he follows to so i see him
Liking almost every photo and i get sad and he sits near me in almost all my classes and i just wish he could pay attention to me
Thanks for this post. i finally did it.
i went on Facebook and blocked her. i’m actually feeling much better and this article helped me a lot. I’m on my way to making myself happy.
hey, thankyou so much for this, you talk about strength and I realised that is exactly what I need, being a weak person doesn’t help :/
However I have now accepted that he will never like me and never will!
i feel such a release!
thankyou again, i’m sure i will be happy soon!
She likes me as a friend lol thats why i drink in the morning and night
Its so hard..i dont understand my mind or my own feeling but what i do understant is that i have to value myself and move on..i have a boyfriend that ive been with for a year but for some reason every now and then i dream of “the x” and i wake up as if im inlove with him again! how i HATE that feeling!
I think the reason I haven’t moved on is because we never got closure. I was being stupid and I never apologized for it. Now I have no way to talk to her without seeming like a stalker. It’s also hard not to talk about her since my friends talk about her so often with me.
this actually has helped some. I dated this guy who I feel like I left for good reasons…was controlling and flaky and mean when he was drunk.
then i found myself missing him after we broke up and ended up chatting with him again..strictly as friends. and we tried being friends for the past year- literally. And all we did was fight. He’d agree to plans and flake at the last minute. He’d then act like nothing had been done wrong. It wouldn’t even come up unless I brought it up. He lied more times than he told the truth. Basically he was ditching me to spend time with his ex who he dated shortly after we had broken up.
But I still miss him!!!! I dont get why because I know what all he’s done hurt me and its wrong and I shouldn’t miss him but i do! I think it’s because he was the first guy i ever slept with…
Ok, if it were only so easy!
So what if the person you miss has very few faults. In addition, you were split up due to circumstance and you are still thinking about them 17 years later, AFTER deciding to stop thinking about them, not allowing yourself to see them online and avoiding seeing them in real life too??? Again, if it only were so easy!
Can’t count how many times I’ve googled this, how much advice I’ve read, and how hard I’ve tried to get him out of my head. I tell myself that I’m just obsessed, it’s a mental issue and I’ll just have to work on it. I know I’ll never be over him. All I can do is try and forget him. (Which would be a lot easier if I didn’t keep seeing him around) I’ll regret and be sorry until I die. Will never forgive myself for throwing away the chance to get to know him better.
Closure would be nice. But like it says in another comment, how do I talk to him without seeming like a stalker? Do I just ask for closure and admit that I’ve been thinking about him every day for 2 years? He’d think I was crazy.
Everything I’ve ever read about love and the chemistry behind it that they can know scientifically explain – non of it explain why I still feel like this! I mean, it should have worn off, right? I think I must be mentally ill
Well, I might just be plain crazy. I was married for 5 years and then separated from my husband. I was having high energy and practically forgot about my husband immediately..
Then a month later I meet this guy and we are super attracted to each other, we talk almost every day see each other about once a week and have a great friendship for 2 months. Then one day he’s like, “I have to go!” and he doesn’t call me back, won’t respond to my emails…
I take the loooooong way out of my way home just so I can slowly walk by his house, look through his windows. I call from anonymous numbers just to hear him say “Hello? Hello? Hello?” While I’m on the other end madly Thinking:” It’s Me! I still care about you!” But I don’t say anything until he hangs up.
I write his name on pink pieces of paper and light a white candle near his name and think about him, send him telepathic messages to “Call me, call me, call me!” But it doesn’t work.
I thought about calling his girlfriend or finding his girl friend and becoming friends with her some how…..
I’m just plain crazy, but this is a good article, it has helped me, especially the part about Pretending to Have Fun.
She is in my class. She looks prettier day by day and she just considers me as a friend but I’m so in love with her and she knows that I love her. I’m trying to apply these techniques to forget her but its easier said than done. Feel like a loser just by the feeling that she will never like me but I’m sure that one day I will be able to get over it.
Today people you will find your inner strength. You will tell yourself that
1. You are the prize and he lost that prize
2. He is deeply hurting for the mistake he made (let him stew and stop being so kind)
3. Decide right now that whenever you think of that selfish pig, who doesn’t care for you, that he missed out on the greatest woman ever.
His loss. Smile. Be strong and everything will fall into place.
This is my first heartbreak and I thank God for showing me that I can get over him. Just when I thought my life had ceased, I looked outside and said thanks for the Sun rising. Thanks for being alive…everyday I’m grateful for something and the hopeless seems to be deminishing
Girls and ladies, find your superwoman now. No more humiliation. You may be surprised what the universe gives you when you get away from this negativity.
Yeah, I think I need to get on with my life. I don’t think these feelings are currently logical. If he turns out a good guy, then i’ll go towards that road. Otherwise, I will remain neutral, because I don’t want to get hurt.
Logic over emotions.
I don’t know what to do… It’s been 5 months since I told her I liked her and since then things have gone crazy. She is a very reserved girl and her actions are so unpredictable. A few months ago after I told her I liked her she said she wanted to get to know me better and that she was sorry for pushing me away, since she had just broke up with an ex and she was getting over him. A week later she kissed me and I thought she started to like me back. But then a few days later she said she couldn’t see me as any more than a friend and she didn’t feel the same towards me. We talked about it in person a few days later, but then after school one day she told me she doesn’t see me in that way and that she liked someone else.
I deleted all my social networking profiles for three weeks until my birthday because I didn’t want to see her get into a new relationship with someone else. We talked at some point in school after about two weeks, but it was me who initiated the conversation; I wanted her to speak to me first but maybe I realised she was never going to do that. After that we rarely spoke for a few months, until I asked her whether she still wanted to come to a concert with me since I had bought tickets beforehand. She was a bit reluctant but agreed in the end.
When we went to the concert it was like nothing had happened between us, the only mention of the situation was when she asked me on the train whether I was ok with the ‘friend situation’ to which I didn’t answer. When we got back to our town after the show, we reenacted a scene from the notebook, where the couple lay down in a road. Then I left my hoodie with her since I let her wear it whilst we were coming home.
Then a few weeks after I asked if she wanted to do an all nighter with me, this happened a week and a half ago while we were in Easter holidays. We went onto a roof together and then went to a hill and laid down for hours. We swapped secrets and I felt so at peace and calm with her; then at one point I put my hand on her face and she held it for at least half an hour. She then said she wanted to say something to me but wasn’t sure if she should, but after a pause she said she wanted to apologise to me for pushing me away.
Now recently we’ve been texting quite regularly nearly everyday and most of the time through the nights. So I have no idea what to think of the situation. From the beginning all of our school friends wanted us to be together and before I told her I liked her, I’d always wave to her at break and lunch everyday.