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How to Stop Thinking About Someone You Still Like

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Want to know how to stop thinking about someone you like and miss? Here are 20 tips that can help you with that and make you a better person too. By Sophia Strutt

how to stop thinking about someone you like

It’s hard being ignored by someone you like.

And at other times, it’s painfully hard to force yourself to stop thinking of someone when you know it just can’t work out.

I’ve been in many happy relationships myself and a few of them did end in a bad way where I was left in the lurch.

[Read: The 10 types of love you'll experience in your own life]

And I’ve been madly in love with someone who I know will never love me back for silly reasons.

At the end of it all, through my turmoil and pain, I learnt a few things that helped me stop thinking about someone you like, especially when they don’t like you back.

How to stop thinking about someone

You may have your own reasons to stop thinking of someone.

While the reasons to stop missing someone may be plenty, the ways are all similar.

Here are 20 easy tips that you could use to stop missing someone and realize where you’re going wrong at the same time.

[Read: Are you in love or is it just limerence?]

#1 Make up your mind. What do you really want to do? Do you want to get over that person or do you just want to stop obsessing over them? Sometimes, clarity is all you need to progress and face reality.

#2 Look for closure. Don’t ignore the incident or avoid thinking about it. Instead, accept the fact that the event happened. Spend a day or two brooding over it by yourself and once you feel saturated by thoughts, let go and move on.

#3 Don’t feign memory loss. Don’t pretend like you don’t miss that person. Don’t try to forget that this person existed. Instead, just focus on ways to avoid getting affected by it. [Read: Can you really be friends with an ex?]

#4 Find someone else to think about. If you want to stop thinking about someone, the easiest and perfect way is to find someone else to think about. Create a distraction and start obsessing about someone else. It’ll work wonders.

#5 Don’t look for ways to contact them or bump into them. It’s easy to fantasize about circumstances and happy reunions. Instead, give up on plotting ways to contact them and accept the fact that you are looking for ways to stop thinking of them. [Reads: Signs your ex is really thinking about you]

#6 Think of their negative traits. If you’re smitten by someone, it’s time to knock them off your pedestal of awesomeness. Think of it, this person wasn’t as perfect as you imagined them to be. If you want to avoid falling in love with them, remember all their flaws and heighten them.

#7 Don’t be depressed. It’s easy to get depressed and suffer from low self esteem, especially when you feel like someone’s walked all over you. Have a laugh yourself and enjoy a good time. Watch funny youtube videos or a comedy to remind yourself of how it feels to laugh. [Read: A facebook breakup that led to a suicide]

#8 Don’t stay idle. An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Heard that one before, haven’t you? In this case, it’ll be the workshop of the one you’re thinking about. You do know it’s stupid to give this person any more space and time on your mind. So keep yourself occupied and avoid thinking of this person.

#9 Don’t stalk them, online or offline. Social networks have made it so much easier to stalk exes and crushes. While it may seem like a gift, it’s still a curse. You’ll never move on unless you keep all news of this person away. [Read: Are you googling your ex often?]

#10 Respect yourself. This *special someone* walked all over you by treating you like dirt. They don’t respect you nor do they care about you. Do you think you respect yourself enough? If you do, why are you humiliating yourself by obsessing about someone who clearly doesn’t deserve any of your time or love?

#11 Learn a new activity. Learn or do something that’s always excited you, be it playing games or joining a dance class. It’ll fill your mind with fresh, happy thoughts that’ll eventually wipe away all traces of the person you’re trying to get over.

#12 Don’t criticize yourself. Don’t try to pick flaws in yourself and find reasons for their behavior. Sometimes, some people are just selfish or they just suck. There’s nothing wrong with you.

#13 Avoid romantic movies. Avoid romantic movies, songs and shows. It’ll just stir up all those locked emotions and turn you into a sadist who loves torturing yourself. Watch fun movies or for something even better, watch wild sexy movies involving lots of friends or single people.

#14 Visit new places or go on a vacation. Sometimes, all you need is a fabulous vacation with friends to clear your mind and focus on new things. You’ll come back feeling a lot better. [Read: Do you think you're jealous of your ex?]

#15 Accept the fact that they’ve moved on. Remind yourself that they’ve moved on and forgotten all about you. You know what, this person doesn’t even care about you anymore! They’re probably thinking of someone else right now. Disgusts you, doesn’t it? Well, accept the fact and let that give you the strength.

#16 Don’t talk about that person with your friends. Indulge in gossip, but avoid talking about this person even if it feels sickly satisfying to talk about them.

#17 Pretend like you’re having fun. Don’t let your chin hit the floor. As screwed up as your life may seem right now, all it takes is your initiate to move on. Go out, meet people, pretend like you’re having fun and you’ll start having fun without realizing it.

#18 Get yourself a rebound relationship. Were you dating this person? Did you have a crush? Or was it just a friend? Your ex relationship status doesn’t matter here. All that matters is you finding a way to replace them in your life. We feel bad because of the sudden emptiness that’s in our hearts. Fill that up and you’ll feel no pain at all! [Read: Ways in which a rebound relationship can be good for you]

#19 Clingy and powerful opposites. Don’t let this person know that you’re hurting. Remember this, the clingy person who’s having a hard time moving on is the weak person in the relationship. And the more weaker and clingier you behave, the more easy you’ll make it for the other person to get over you. Do you really want to make it that easy for them? [Read: Should you date your ex again?]

#20 Remember that it will all pass. There is no short term plan or a silver bullet here. If you want to know how to stop thinking about someone, you need to take an initiative and have patience. You may not stop liking them today or tomorrow, but it’ll happen sooner than you know. All it needs is your strength.

[Read: Are you experiencing unrequited love?]

Just remember these 20 tips on how to stop thinking about someone you like and it’ll help you realize the facts. You need to move on. This person doesn’t care about you anymore. You definitely have what it takes as long as you believe in yourself.


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Have your say!
  • July 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    Help me please

  • christina obadiah
    September 26, 2012 | Permalink |

    thx for this, i feel so much better, but im still in love with him… hope i get over it soon

  • Yoyoduck
    October 26, 2012 | Permalink |

    Im still super in love with him. One day he was teasing me the next day he had stopped and hes never talked to me since and the only way i can get him to talk to me is when i draw attention to myself and he already has a girlfriend and hes on instagram but i stalk him all the time because almost all the people i follow he follows to so i see him
    Liking almost every photo and i get sad and he sits near me in almost all my classes and i just wish he could pay attention to me

  • Tiana
    November 22, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thanks for this post. i finally did it.
    i went on Facebook and blocked her. i’m actually feeling much better and this article helped me a lot. I’m on my way to making myself happy.

  • Louise
    January 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    hey, thankyou so much for this, you talk about strength and I realised that is exactly what I need, being a weak person doesn’t help :/
    However I have now accepted that he will never like me and never will!
    i feel such a release!
    thankyou again, i’m sure i will be happy soon!

  • joe
    January 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    She likes me as a friend lol thats why i drink in the morning and night

  • caligal90023
    January 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    Its so hard..i dont understand my mind or my own feeling but what i do understant is that i have to value myself and move on..i have a boyfriend that ive been with for a year but for some reason every now and then i dream of “the x” and i wake up as if im inlove with him again! how i HATE that feeling!

  • Hill
    January 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    I think the reason I haven’t moved on is because we never got closure. I was being stupid and I never apologized for it. Now I have no way to talk to her without seeming like a stalker. It’s also hard not to talk about her since my friends talk about her so often with me.

  • Dylan
    January 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    this actually has helped some. I dated this guy who I feel like I left for good reasons…was controlling and flaky and mean when he was drunk.

    then i found myself missing him after we broke up and ended up chatting with him again..strictly as friends. and we tried being friends for the past year- literally. And all we did was fight. He’d agree to plans and flake at the last minute. He’d then act like nothing had been done wrong. It wouldn’t even come up unless I brought it up. He lied more times than he told the truth. Basically he was ditching me to spend time with his ex who he dated shortly after we had broken up.

    But I still miss him!!!! I dont get why because I know what all he’s done hurt me and its wrong and I shouldn’t miss him but i do! I think it’s because he was the first guy i ever slept with…

  • TL
    February 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    Ok, if it were only so easy!

    So what if the person you miss has very few faults. In addition, you were split up due to circumstance and you are still thinking about them 17 years later, AFTER deciding to stop thinking about them, not allowing yourself to see them online and avoiding seeing them in real life too??? Again, if it only were so easy!

  • Valley
    February 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    Can’t count how many times I’ve googled this, how much advice I’ve read, and how hard I’ve tried to get him out of my head. I tell myself that I’m just obsessed, it’s a mental issue and I’ll just have to work on it. I know I’ll never be over him. All I can do is try and forget him. (Which would be a lot easier if I didn’t keep seeing him around) I’ll regret and be sorry until I die. Will never forgive myself for throwing away the chance to get to know him better.

    Closure would be nice. But like it says in another comment, how do I talk to him without seeming like a stalker? Do I just ask for closure and admit that I’ve been thinking about him every day for 2 years? He’d think I was crazy.

    Everything I’ve ever read about love and the chemistry behind it that they can know scientifically explain – non of it explain why I still feel like this! I mean, it should have worn off, right? I think I must be mentally ill :(

  • Lunatic
    March 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well, I might just be plain crazy. I was married for 5 years and then separated from my husband. I was having high energy and practically forgot about my husband immediately..

    Then a month later I meet this guy and we are super attracted to each other, we talk almost every day see each other about once a week and have a great friendship for 2 months. Then one day he’s like, “I have to go!” and he doesn’t call me back, won’t respond to my emails…
    I take the loooooong way out of my way home just so I can slowly walk by his house, look through his windows. I call from anonymous numbers just to hear him say “Hello? Hello? Hello?” While I’m on the other end madly Thinking:” It’s Me! I still care about you!” But I don’t say anything until he hangs up.
    I write his name on pink pieces of paper and light a white candle near his name and think about him, send him telepathic messages to “Call me, call me, call me!” But it doesn’t work.
    I thought about calling his girlfriend or finding his girl friend and becoming friends with her some how…..
    I’m just plain crazy, but this is a good article, it has helped me, especially the part about Pretending to Have Fun. :)

  • ashley
    April 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    She is in my class. She looks prettier day by day and she just considers me as a friend but I’m so in love with her and she knows that I love her. I’m trying to apply these techniques to forget her but its easier said than done. Feel like a loser just by the feeling that she will never like me but I’m sure that one day I will be able to get over it.

  • Lauz
    April 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    Today people you will find your inner strength. You will tell yourself that

    1. You are the prize and he lost that prize
    2. He is deeply hurting for the mistake he made (let him stew and stop being so kind)
    3. Decide right now that whenever you think of that selfish pig, who doesn’t care for you, that he missed out on the greatest woman ever.

    His loss. Smile. Be strong and everything will fall into place.

    This is my first heartbreak and I thank God for showing me that I can get over him. Just when I thought my life had ceased, I looked outside and said thanks for the Sun rising. Thanks for being alive…everyday I’m grateful for something and the hopeless seems to be deminishing

    Girls and ladies, find your superwoman now. No more humiliation. You may be surprised what the universe gives you when you get away from this negativity.

  • Sammi
    April 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    Yeah, I think I need to get on with my life. I don’t think these feelings are currently logical. If he turns out a good guy, then i’ll go towards that road. Otherwise, I will remain neutral, because I don’t want to get hurt.

    Logic over emotions.

  • E
    April 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t know what to do… It’s been 5 months since I told her I liked her and since then things have gone crazy. She is a very reserved girl and her actions are so unpredictable. A few months ago after I told her I liked her she said she wanted to get to know me better and that she was sorry for pushing me away, since she had just broke up with an ex and she was getting over him. A week later she kissed me and I thought she started to like me back. But then a few days later she said she couldn’t see me as any more than a friend and she didn’t feel the same towards me. We talked about it in person a few days later, but then after school one day she told me she doesn’t see me in that way and that she liked someone else.
    I deleted all my social networking profiles for three weeks until my birthday because I didn’t want to see her get into a new relationship with someone else. We talked at some point in school after about two weeks, but it was me who initiated the conversation; I wanted her to speak to me first but maybe I realised she was never going to do that. After that we rarely spoke for a few months, until I asked her whether she still wanted to come to a concert with me since I had bought tickets beforehand. She was a bit reluctant but agreed in the end.
    When we went to the concert it was like nothing had happened between us, the only mention of the situation was when she asked me on the train whether I was ok with the ‘friend situation’ to which I didn’t answer. When we got back to our town after the show, we reenacted a scene from the notebook, where the couple lay down in a road. Then I left my hoodie with her since I let her wear it whilst we were coming home.
    Then a few weeks after I asked if she wanted to do an all nighter with me, this happened a week and a half ago while we were in Easter holidays. We went onto a roof together and then went to a hill and laid down for hours. We swapped secrets and I felt so at peace and calm with her; then at one point I put my hand on her face and she held it for at least half an hour. She then said she wanted to say something to me but wasn’t sure if she should, but after a pause she said she wanted to apologise to me for pushing me away.
    Now recently we’ve been texting quite regularly nearly everyday and most of the time through the nights. So I have no idea what to think of the situation. From the beginning all of our school friends wanted us to be together and before I told her I liked her, I’d always wave to her at break and lunch everyday.

  • Gloria
    June 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thank you, you are right! This post make me feel much better! Clarity is all I need! I was in love with my boss, but pheraps, just not love, infatuation. he has been flirting with me for a year so far, and now, that I need him because I have an important test to pass to keep working for the hospital where he works, he disappeared. He was flirting with me two weeks ago, and now, he does not respond to my emails anymore. But I know he is afraid is going to lose me, I was the smartest person in his team and without me he is not going that far, as things were going before i arrived, since he is not that smart, and pheraps, not the kindest person in the world, as my infatuation let me think. i know i was the smartest there and did great things there, he knows this, i know he know this. he was not to going to commit since he was married, he was just flirting with a person he found attractive and smart and that was his only interest, enjoying it, stop. that’s all. what i wanted/what i want from him? do i really want him to tell me he loves me, do i really want he keeps on sending me emails and showing he cares? cares? for what? to spend my precious time there with him, flirting him back? do i really want to have a relationship with him? where would we go? no, all I wanted was to feel appreciated, for my appearance and my talent, but I know he did, i know he does, i know he will regret it if he will lose me. but that s not my problem, because i am strong, i know i will find my way, there, or somewhere else. Ciao

  • BK
    August 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    it is hard to get over someone when you have both told.eachother you love one an other but know.you cant be together it hurts to to think about them especailly when they contact you again after trying to forget about them,all the feelings come rushing back,but both of you know it cant work as she is in a different countryan life sucks sometimes and love can hurt like hell.

  • yani
    August 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    Story of my life went through a bad break up since after I’ve found my self falling for wrong guys …up until I met someone who I thought wus different we dated for a while then found out we related … We were cousins but I had already fallen for him had 2weeks after our breakup he move on ever since he had been movin from girl to girl. And I know this. I’ve stalked him so much I know too much …sigh a year later I still. Love him n I doubt he loves me bck seein we are related I don’t know what to dp :( :(

  • DC
    August 31, 2013 | Permalink |

    Almost 5 years later and I still miss her every day. And I read another one of these posts or look at another one of these sites, and hope it might make some difference. All the advice is right, all the tips are correct – but like someone has said in an earlier post, it’s just not that easy. I tell myself there is no way but forward, and life is too short to waste loving someone who does not love you – or even talk to you.

    But.

    People always told me if you want something bad enough you will get it. You’ll find a way, or you’ll find an excuse. All this sort of thing. Isn’t it true? What about you only lose when you give up? What about following your heart? What about all the movies?

    What breaks my heart is knowing that no one could ever love her like I could and knowing we should be together – but also knowing that she has decided her life is better without me in it. In any way. And if I really love her then I should respect that. Somehow.

    Una rosa que no floreció, pero que el tiempo no la marchita. Una flor prometida una amor que no fue, pero que sigue viva.
    (A rose that never blossomed, but that time doesn’t wither. A flower promised a love that never happened, but still continues to live).

  • Jake
    February 9, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am not sure what to do with her anymore I’ve told her 4years ago that she was the one and the next day she goes out with my best friend . few weeks pass by and we hung out at a pool party and she still liked me at that time due to her closure in the pool everytime I moved (like 3 times). She never told her bf that happen and I lost connection with my best friend and her for 3 1/2 years. In 2012 in late October on my birthday she says happy birthday to me, and started talking again to her and few months later she didnt answer to my msgs and I was like whatever’s but then last year she started talking to me and she wanted to hang out at the park. So we hung out and talked about the stuff between us and shared secrets . I knew she was obsessed with me still seeing me that day at the park but she knew she couldn’t talk to me cause she told me that she made a promise to her bf (my old best friend) that she wouldn’t talk to me again. I was so angry that I wanted to beat him up for making that promise but I know its not the right way to do solve these situations. So I told her we shouldn’t see each other for a little, and should think about other stuff and her worrying about her bf more. Mid 2013 we talked once more and I couldn’t say it any better that she has to forget about me if she was still with her bf. I guess she took it way to seriously and started tearing up , but I told her that it wasent any other way to do it. And she finally agreed after a few hours. Now its just been 4 months since we talked and I still hear her voice when I sleep, like if she was in my room . I just can’t get her out of my mind , it’s like I’m fighting something big that I can’t move/take down the obsticle down. But its slowly fading away… I am gonna miss the one girl I loved the most out of any I’ve liked or gone out with… But I know its the best for me and her to move on with our lives…

  • Bruce
    April 18, 2014 | Permalink |

    this girl is just amazing.she is very intelligent very serious in what she does.very pretty also,i know her since 2013,i sat behind her in class for almost a year without talking but this year 2014 i decided to do something about it and somehow i managed to talk and it was great.first time there was a function at my school and as she was helping i also did the same and we talked.when it was over we returned home together and spent some time roaming around.on that day compared to what we were before that some serious progress was made.unfortunately this was the last day at school so what ever i had done was useless.i could not meet her in holidays.but then we again talked on facebook.i asked her out for a movie she agreed,but later refused due to some family commitment.when we talk on facebook its like we are dating,she tells me she like talking to me,i am a good person different from each other stuff like that.i even got her number,she asked mine first by the way.but now er are still in holidays and i dont know what to do.clearly if that day was not the last day of school and if i got one more week i would be dating her by now but right now its been 2 weeks since i did not got to see her pretty face ,talked only twice and i’m dying to see her
    i dont think many of you would read this long crap but i needed to tell my story and how i was feeling and no tips would be enough to make me stop thinking about her
    :(
    N…

  • will
    June 9, 2014 | Permalink |

    Im in love with agirl who was a senior im a junior she was perfec tand without any flaws that i could tell from seeing her. I actually signed up to do lights for a play she was in because i was so in love with her she graduated and i really miss ive literally had a panick attack one night after i last saw her help please

  • Bright eyes
    June 17, 2014 | Permalink |

    Where do i start? After 8 years my first kiss reconnected with me through facebook and though i had no feelings of love for him once reconnected, we began talking on messenger for two years before we decided to begin dating. I really admired the man he became and and as such i was utterly smitten to bits…we talked about everything and complimented each other as a couple but more importantly he completed me. i keep picturing his gentle kisses on my head whilst i pretended not to notice and other times i miss his laugh and cheeky charm… we felt perfect and he made me want to be a better person. at least thats what i thought then but now I think i was just convenient for him.

    To add insult to injury He was polite in his words when letting me go. He never gave me an honest reason as to why, there was no argument i have just been left broken hearted continuously for years.

    and finally, a week ago he liked a pic of me on FB… it truly has bothered me, i suddenly exist again i mean honestly, is it me being irrational or is that just not normal behavior? don’t get me wrong i do have a life and tend not to think of him all of the time… it’s just that when i do remember ( unintentionally) i feel wounded and cant shake thoughts of him out of my head…wish god would make it possible for me to overcome this torture once and for all.

  • nia
    August 16, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have a huge crush on this one guy since i first saw him 4 years ago, then we became friends and he told me he loves me. We were in love for 1 and half yr until he broke it off because he didnt see o?ur future together (diff religion). We didnt talk to each other for 1 year but i never really stopped loving him. I got over him in life, like not feeling sad or expecting anything, but it my mind he is still the only one.

    In my final year, i wished him happy birthday, and he started contact with me again. He confided everything about his feeling, medical condition, family problems etc in me and he knows i love him, but he couldnt return the feeling as we are still never going to.be together. But i do love him unconditionally and feels like he really dont have to reciprocate. I just want him exist in my life. I even cried so hard when he told me to try to love someone else.

    I will soon leave this country and leave him forever. I want it more than anything else to stay friend with him but somehow i slightly doubt it. Even now i try to be with him as much as possible but i still think it wont matter since i still going to leave the country.

    Probably just best walking away. Now. And really accept that he do love me as a friend since he doesnt really have many close friend and i’m always there for him.

    Sometimes i even think i love him as a mother or a sister. But the thought of leaving him really tearing me apart.

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