Breakups suck. They’re difficult to get through and sometimes you can’t let go. If this is you, you may want to know how to stop caring about someone.
I know how hard it is to get through a breakup – especially when that person was your entire world. But for one reason or another, they’ve decided that you’re not a great match and there you lay, covered in blankets and clutching your favorite tub of ice cream, wondering just how to stop caring about someone you love.
It won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But over time, you can learn to stop caring about someone you once loved. It’ll take time, constant effort, and a lot of support, but you can do it.
Why some relationships end – even when things seem perfect
You can’t always predict a breakup. Sure, there can be signs that your significant other is gearing up to call it quits, but not always. You may not recognize the signs or your partner might be really good at hiding their true feelings.
And that’s sometimes how it goes. You may think your relationship is amazing and you’re really happy. But oftentimes, your happiness may be clouding your perception of how your significant other is feeling. You may be happy, but they may be seeing a lot of issues in the relationship or they could be changing their feelings. [Read: 12 real reasons couples drift apart over time]
How to stop caring about someone you once loved
Can you ever really stop caring about them completely? Probably not. They were a huge part of your life for a long time. But you can definitely reduce those feelings and even forget about them from time to time.
#1 Accept what is. You can’t control everything. Things are going to happen whether you want them to or not. You can’t force someone to feel the same way about you and refusing to accept it can make things a lot worse. Respect how they feel and focus on starting fresh.
#2 Vent to your friends. Your friends have all been through the same thing before. They know how it feels and they can offer you helpful advice. Don’t just shut yourself off from the world. Talk to your friends and discuss how you’re feeling. Venting can really help you see things from a new perspective. [Read: How to know if your friend is being a good friend]
#3 Think about their flaws. I know how easy it is to think about all the great things about them. But in order to learn how to stop caring about someone, you have to remember their flaws. And they definitely had them. Remembering the worst about someone can help you realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all.
#4 Think realistically about how you were together. You were happy. And you liked them a ton. But does that mean you were truly great together? Did you have the same morals and values? Were they someone you could actually build a future with?
#5 Get your friends’ opinions. Your friends can look at your situation without a bias. You can’t. Therefore, you should always ask them what they think and how they can help. They can help you see that they may not have been someone worth caring so much about.
#6 Delete everything of theirs on social media. And I mean everything. Get rid of any pictures with them and delete them as a friend. You can’t possibly learn how to stop caring about someone you once loved when their face keeps popping up everywhere. So clear it out for good.
#7 Get rid of their number. Yes, you also have to delete their number. Having access to contacting them is a huge no-no. You can’t stop caring about someone if you’re always looking at their name in your phone and daydreaming about texting them how much you miss them. Get rid of it. [Read: 7 resolute ways to resist the urge to call your ex]
#8 Redirect your thoughts about them. This is definitely something that won’t be easy, but if you can do it, you’ll be able to stop caring about them much easier. Whenever you start thinking about them, consciously reroute your thoughts.
Start thinking about something random or even sing a song in your head. This will, after a while, train your mind to bypass thoughts of them.
#9 Put away anything they’ve ever given you. I know you’re probably really attached to their old t-shirt or you love seeing the photo of the two of you on your nightstand, but you need to get rid of them. Seeing those reminders will only make things worse.
#10 Stay distracted by having fun. If you really want to know how to stop caring about someone you once loved, you have to master the art of being distracted. If you’re too busy having fun with friends, you won’t have time to think about them. And after a while, you’ll stop thinking about them all together. When those thoughts disappear, so do your feelings. [Read: How to have fun and feel awesome post breakup]
#11 Allow yourself to feel sad sometimes. It’s okay to feel sad about the relationship. It’s okay to miss that person. Don’t hold yourself back from this – especially in the start. In order to move past those feelings, you first have to let yourself feel them.
#12 Get some new hobbies. Just like going out with your friends can serve as a distraction from your feelings, so can hobbies. Join a bowling league or a volleyball team. Getting out and trying new things will take your mind off of them.
#13 Keep yourself open to new opportunities – and people. If you want to learn how to stop caring about someone, you have to learn how to open yourself. You need to keep an open mind about new people and opportunities. You never know when someone special can walk into your life. But if you’re too distracted with thinking about the person who doesn’t want you, you’ll never see them. [Read: How to meet new people and find a new crowd]
#14 Remember that you deserve to be happy. You deserve happiness and you deserve someone who cares about you the same way you care about them. Remembering this can help you start to move passed your relationship with your ex. [Read: How to get over someone you care about by hating them]
#15 Be patient. This isn’t something that happens overnight. You can’t just get over someone with the flip of a switch. It’ll take a lot of time and effort. But if you keep on doing the things mentioned above, they’ll only be a distant memory to you.