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How to Get Over a Broken Heart

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Want to know how to get over a broken heart? A break up can feel like the end of the world, but if you really do want to move on, here’s a complete guide on how to deal with a broken heart.

how to get over a broken heart

At some point in your life, if not already, the proverbial “shit happens”.

And all you really want to do after that is try and figure out how to get over a broken heart.

If it hasn’t already, it may soon, or you may be one of those lucky few who are able to cruise through their entire life with just one loving mate.

But to the awful tons of people who aren’t that lucky, and have broken up, or are still are licking their wounds or still crying their hearts out over a dead relationship, this may be an eye-opener.

Moving on with a broken heart

Life can be harsh at times, and break ups can be painful, but you’ve got to move on.

Your ex partner has moved on, haven’t they? So… what’s holding you back? I know it’s hard, and you will take a while to move on.

There’s no happy ending when you try looking for that little ray of sunshine from your ex’s rear end. But to help you along that journey of self discovery and acceptance of the fact that there are other fishes in the sea, here are fifteen things that you should do after a break up.

How to get over a broken heart

Yeah, yeah… we all know your part of the story. You were so in love and your ex was the only person in the whole world that mattered to you. And now, your heart is split into two and you don’t think you can last a minute without that person by your side.

But have you realized something? Your sweet ‘ol mate is having fun, loads of fun.

The break-up hasn’t bothered your ex much, and they’ve moved on. If it really was mutual love till the last breath of the relationship, then why did your ex actually walk out on you? And why are you the one who seems to be suffering?

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Now perhaps the break up was mutual, but most mutual break-ups don’t hurt much. So if your heart aches, then it’s probably because you’re still in love with you ex. And gasp, the love is one sided!

How to deal with a broken heart

As difficult and painful as it may seem, you still need to understand the most important fact here. You’re hurting, and you really need to move on. Fast. Here’s every single thing you need to do after a break up to ensure a speedy recovery and a quick jump into happy land.

#1 GET IT TO DEFINITELY END

First things first, you know you’ve broken up.

How?

Your partner has probably told you something like “…hey, I think we can’t go on, it’s just hard. I still like you a lot though… but I’m really sorry…”

You know what, lines like these are the reason why your heart aches. Soft words make you feel like there could still be a chance for the both of you, maybe even in the far future, and you end up thinking about your old love over and over again.

What you need is a clear answer that they want to break up with you because they’ve had enough with you. Try getting those words out of their mouth, and you’d feel a lot better, even if it hurts initially. Give them an opportunity to yell that they hate you, and never want to see you in their lives again.

Believe me, that’s a better option than dancing on hot coals trying to decide if your ex partner is still in love with you or not.

#2 NO SAD, SAPPY SONGS

Logical thought, this one. Music has a huge amount of control over human emotions, and there are few things that can immediately change a person’s mood as effectively as music. If a sad song comes on the radio, change the song to a more upbeat one. If a song that was special to you and your ex comes on, turn it off or throw the player out of your window.

You mind find some weird sort of satisfaction by making yourself sad, but that’s really stupid. Grow up and learn to control your emotions, however hard it may seem. Force yourself to listen to fun, exhilarating music instead of sad, sappy ones. Now that’s a good way to start the healing.

#3 SHOVE THOSE DRINKS ASIDE

No alcohol at all. It’s easy to drown your sorrows in deep colored intoxicating liquids. It may help you forget your ex for a few hours, or you may even end up crying over it with the bottle in your hands.

But the worst part comes in the morning, when you get up with a splitting headache, a lousy feeling in your stomach, depressions, and a totally miserable and painful heartache. This will only make you feel worse and helpless, and right now, you need to feel like you’re in total control of your life.

#4 LOSE ALL CONTACT

After your true undying love has come to an end, you have to break all contact with your ex or you will go mad. Don’t beg or cry. Don’t drunk-dial. Don’t write them mushy e-mail. Don’t spend all day reading their facebook pages. Don’t send packages or CD’s. Don’t dedicate a song to your ex on the radio, in an effort to woo them back. Get the picture?

Your ex will find you if they want to. And even if you can talk your way back into your ex’s arms, it’s only a temporary reprieve. The worst part is that your ex already knows you want them back, and they don’t care about it. Take that as a sign, and walk away for good.

#5 AVOID YOUR EX’S HANGOUT

Don’t stray into your ex’s territory. You wouldn’t be welcome, and if you find your ex having a great time there, that would only make you feel terrible. Find new places to hang out in, and new memories to keep your mind occupied.

Make a few new friends if you have to, anything to stop you from thinking about painful memories. If any of your friends insist on maintaining contact with your ex, you may have to shut them out too, at least temporarily.

After some time has passed, when you feel you’re ready to move on, you can go back to living normally, and that means hanging out at these places and reconnecting with your mutual friends.

#6 DON’T GET LONELY

We all need time by ourselves after a traumatic event, but whatever you do, don’t let yourself be alone for too long. Surrounding yourself with people again, whether it’s friends, family or co-workers, will help immensely in getting over a broken heart. It may be difficult at first, but force yourself to be with people after you’ve spent an appropriate amount of time alone. This is the best thing that can help you overcome your pain.

Knowing how to get over a broken heart isn’t difficult, but doing the right thing to heal a broken heart is what matters. If you really want to get over a broken heart, make sure you don’t skip any of these steps.

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Have your say!
  • Teresa
    September 5, 2012 | Permalink |

    I find it hard to get over my ex and my hart hasnt healed because the one thing that I read is I have a 3 year old child by my ex so how does that work.

  • Lenka
    January 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    Right now I’m a big mess thank to my ex. He broke up with me in the end of December, but we still have to live together until I move to my new apartment (which will be in one week, I hope). For me it looks like he’s happy, enjoys parties with co-workers and friends and doesn’t give a shit about what happened. I, instead of doing the same, am sitting home, crying, asking myself why it had to happened, and slowly getting mad. Here I finally read some useful advices how to cheer myself up, thanks!!!

  • yesha
    March 25, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t know how to move on for 7 years relationship he is my 1st bf. All memories still fresh in my mind.. I don’t now how to start everytime i wake up before I sleep memories coming back in my mind… How should I start?

  • Renee
    May 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    What if you simply suspect that he wants to break up with you…I got the dreaded ” We need to talk” text. Am I jumping the gun?

  • May 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’ve been with this guy for 8 months,i found out 2 weeks ago that he was seeing other girls behind my back. I broke it off with him than took him back. He’d never text nor call,i always did. Recently he told me he’s fallen out of love and isn’t interested in calling or texting me. My heart sank,i hung up on him,since than he’s never text or called me. Every time a text message or call comes in i keep hoping its him. I just can’t seem to get over him.

  • Princess
    June 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    These men who cannot value their partner they just not worth the crying over it hard but eventually you will get over them……Gals its their loss not yours!!!!! x

  • broken angle
    June 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    We broke up after 5 years relationship. I moved to another city for sometimes. We broke up 3 days ago and im a total mass. I crashed my car to the wall because I was crying while i was driving. I am still in love with him and loved him more than anything in my life. In 5 years we did everything together. I have millions of memories with him. In the restaurants, streets, shopping mall and everywhere. We shared everything together. I didnt eat and sleep for days. I lost more than 8 pounds. I used to see him around me day and night but now he doesn’t even answer my phone calls. 5 years is not a joke its a life. I dont know what to do right now I can’t even go back to Vancouver. I just ask god to help me. Maybe I wasnt good enough for him. I hate all guys anymore and dont want to start anything over again. I just want him and I wish I could go back to him one more time. I wish I could hold him into my arms just for the last time. Please people if u love each other dont break each others heart. It’s so hard to end a long term relationship it doesn’t worth. Dont be selfish and give each other chances million times

  • shit happens
    July 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    My GF broke up with me a month ago after 6 years of relationship, I loved her more than anything in my life, those are good tips, I used them and it worked, do not listen to sad songs, try to avoid everything that reminds you about him/her (I know is hard but is not impossible) and the best tip is keep yourself busy, if you go to school/work focus on it, don’t be lonely in your house and hang out with your friends or family. This is been working for me, also I’ve been trying to date a girl I like and feels good, even if she rejects me it’s ok because it keeps my mind busy.

  • natasha
    July 19, 2013 | Permalink |

    my boyfriend broke up with me last month,i felt dat this is da end of da world but after following these steps im feeling much better now

  • JaneD
    November 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    This is a topic that hits very close to home for me. My bf cheated a couple of years ago, and I took him back. At first, I thought about the pain that he caused me, almost every day. I would go to bed sad and wake up in the morning, mad. I would look in the mirror and cry because I didn’t understand, and couldn’t understand. Til this day, I think that I should have given myself time to truly grieve and let go of the hurt and anger before taking him back. I don’t beat him over the head for his mistake, and I even try to make sure that I’m not punishing him in subtle ways either; however the memories will never go away. It does get easier with time, and it helps if your significant other is making the necessary changes, however, I realized that I had to make changes too. That is what made me stop feeling sorry for myself and stop playing the situation over and over in my mind. I wanted to be the best person, for myself primarily, and then for him. It’s a constant struggle, but again, it’s getting easier as I continue to better myself. I truly hope and pray that all women/men that find themselves in this situation are strong and pray often, because I couldn’t have maintained on my own.

  • Clayton
    December 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    Two years in my first relationship. She insists on “staying friends” but I seem to screw up every time, making this all hurt worse. I need to let her go, but how without hurting her too?

  • Graham
    December 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    Clayton,

    It’s always a nice thought to remain friends with an ex, but if it’s causing you stress, you definitely need to end it completely. You don’t have to be rude about it, just slowly edge her out. Always be too busy to do anything and try to date other girls. If you still want to be friends, then you must be completely over her. Nothing would be worse than sticking around and seeing her with another guy, only for you to get super jealous. Occupy yourself, try not to think about her, date other girls, just do anything to keep your mind body. While you should always strive to improve yourself, this is the best time to start if you haven’t already.

    Last of all: Always be nice and civil, but be aloof! She is no longer your girlfriend, so don’t give her any special attention. I’m assuming she is the one who broke it off.

  • Graham
    December 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    I said mind body, I meant mind busy!

  • nick
    January 4, 2014 | Permalink |

    my wife left me 20 months ago i still love her she says there is nobody else and doesnt trust me to do the things i say i will for her to come back i think you i right i should try and severe contact with her it is easier said than done when you love someone

  • zaf
    January 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    hi ! me n my ex were know each other past 17 years almost (since our childhood)! we were friends before then we married. now we have broken up. i am trying to forget her but i cant. all day goes in thinking abt her and every single night i see her in ma dreams. i tried to make some new friends n relationship but unfortunately i could nt. she also tries to contact me to knw abt me. either i am in good condition or bad condition. i also deactivate my facebook page as well but she wants me to keep it on. i just want to forget her or if my ex can come back then how can we back together. as she hasnt shown any attention apart from some senti songs on her fb page. please reply n give me some advice

  • JC
    January 24, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hi , I’ve been dealing with a rather complicated relationship , the entire time I was with my ex I had the feeling she was still in love with her ex boyfriend (baby daddy) and it hurt it was always in the back of my mind that she still had feelings for him, and I felt like I was the rebound our relationship was on the rocks and we were Always fighting about stupid things like social media and her past I made a huge mistake last week , I was recently let go by my Ex gf about a week ago the mother of my 3 month old baby boy, I was caught with pictures of other women in my phone, and that broke us up , not that I was looking for another woman but she always put me down and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough she always compared me to her ex bf which made me resent her now that were broken up I feel like everything is my fault but at the same time think about how she would make me feel, idk how to deal with something like this it’s my first time in a situation like this !

  • sttesmoon
    March 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    My boyfriend and I broke up just 2 weeks ago and I have to see him every day.
    He was my first love and I still love him and he says he still loves me. We were not happy together and there still are so many things unresolved. I keep thinking that one day when we separately solved what ruined our relationship we can get back together but even though he says that he still loves me he doesn’t seem to be grieving as much as me and he has already decided that a future together it’s not possible.
    Is it much to ask for the person that says that loves me back to at least hope that one day we will be back together? It breaks my hurt. I miss him so much and if I could go back would change everything. I’ve never imagined that we would end this way. I feel like I’m bot going to be able to love someone like that again.

  • Mary
    May 25, 2014 | Permalink |

    This feature has been very helpful to me.I knew that there were people that have been through what I am going through but didn’t know where to find them until I found this website.
    Thank You

  • Tanisha
    May 29, 2014 | Permalink |

    My ex & I first met when we were in school. He lived all the way in brisbane and I lived in ipswich so was long distance sort of. Found out I was pregnant with my first child when I was 14 had my son when I was 15. We stayed together and yes had our ups and downs and I would go crazy and then we’d make up pretty much everything a couple does. After 5 years of happiness, ups and downs i fell pregnant with our second child and am now 20 years old. I moved in with his parents me and my son moved in with them and was all sweet at the start until I hit the end of the trimester, was 30 weeks pregnant and I went off. I know that I shouldn’t have, yeah it was probably my hormones or not. Anyway he then suddenly out of the blue started talking bout this girl he works with. And it didnt happen just once he kept saying stuff like I would try and do something to see if she noticed and then suddenly start to put on heaps of deodorant when getting ready for work every day, had mint spray and chewing gum and would say that he gets paranoid just incase his breath stinks when customers come to ask for something. Then suddenly after a fight we had, from that day after things got awkward and awkward like he was pulling away but I could sense at the back of my mind something wasnt right. After a week of all awkwardness, I confronted him and said do u have feelings for someone else and he said i don’t know. Then after that he couldn’t look at me, couldnt hug me or touch me anymore he pulled himself right away. And then that same night he went for a shower and cause he used to want me to go for showers with him all the time I went in that night and he just kept looking at the ground and not me couldn’t look at me straight or even kiss me when he used to. Next day I moved back to my mums me and my son and enrolled him at school down my way. His father wasnt impressed that I up and left and he said he was going to work it out with me but I ruined it. But I felt it was over that night and didnt feel comfortable their anymore. He brings up the past alot and wha we’ve been through how I treated him but only put that part in what I did to him not what he’s done to me. Couple days after he rings and asks whats going on and I said I thought u said it was over and he said i thought u said that. Still couldnt look at me or hug me or anything. Couple days later he says I can’t do this anymore, I’ve given u so much chances I gave u it all and it was never enough. It killed me knowing that he wanted to end it and that it was over. I blamed myself for everything and what I put him through. I fought for him knowing he had just told me he had feelings for his co worker the girl he was talking bout all the time. He said that she reminded him of a female version of himself, that hurt knowing he has feelings for someone else and I couldn’t bare the pain of that. I sent texts saying i love u me and our children do he would send back but just oh that’s nice, acting normal but in a different way at the same time. After fully ending it, he said maybe we will get back together in the future. That day later he got on Facebook and added her and has been forking out $200 and going out with her. And on her page it would say on a date with my man and cause I keep in touch with his family as we had been together for 7 years and their so used to me, his mother is still hoping for us to get back together anyways she would say hes gone out and it just says right their that hes moved on, left me at 8 months pregnant, with our son who he dearly loved and our son loved and was so close to him, left us for someone he said he had feelings for and move on fast. My heart was broken after seeing that and fully getting closure. He has moved on, left me with the kids so he can have a good time, new stuff that he never did with me cause of having our son to look after. Yeah we went out and was happy but it confuses me still knowing he said all those things, blames me for everything and can just move on tha quick after everything we have been through. I’m starting to get stronger and see the light. I have given up calling ringing him i said from now on the only time I will contact back is if it has to do with our kids. I thought he was the person I fell in love with, he changed and his family can see that too. Not the person we all thought he was,

  • teresa
    June 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    After 10yrs my boyfriend leaves me for another women he wont even talk to me I’ve been living from place to place i lost my job and he could care less that what i xnt understand is why his being like this he promised me he would never leave me but he did its so hard vor me to move on i also have a son who is 7yrs old i lost my right because of a situation wen i decided to take his charges even when it wasn’t my stuff but I did it fir him because i loved him so much that i would have done anything for him never did i think he would LEAVE me for someone else

  • S
    June 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    I was together with my ex for nearly 2 years. She ended up with another woman (yes I am a woman too) who I introduced her to in order to help get her a job to stay in the England as she was here on a student visa from Dubai. She was my best friend, we did everything together, I loved her more than myself. 1 year later it still hurts but not as bad. However 1 year later I still check her instagram from time to time and see her with this girl she only knew through me and feel so humiliated and so angry I’ve never felt anger like it in my life almost to the point I’m scared of myself.

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