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Dealing with Heartbreak: 12 Steps to Do It the Right Way

dealing with heartbreak

Dealing with heartbreak is never fun, but it’s an inevitable part of life. Here are some of the best ways to move on to greener pastures.

No one wants to go through a breakup and begin the process of dealing with heartbreak. No matter if the relationship lasted five weeks or five years, if you liked someone and became emotionally invested in them, it can be very difficult when that ends.

Finding ways to get over it and move on are tricky, and there is no “one size fits all” solution that works for everyone. However, there are some tried and true methods that may just make you feel better.

Ways of dealing with heartbreak

So how do you start dealing with heartbreak and move on after your relationship has ended? Here are some great tips to help you.

#1 Get some space. Once you have decided to call it a day on your relationship, it’s important that you give each other some breathing space. Even if everything ended amicably, if you continue to see and speak to each other all the time, it’s going to be impossible to move on.

This situation almost always ends with one party feeling more emotionally attached than the other, and when they want to break free and go out with someone else, it actually makes the situation even harder and more painful. Letting go is tough, but if you don’t start somewhere, you can’t begin to recover. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and not drift apart]

#2 Cut all ties. In order to get some space, it’s a good idea to cut all ties with your ex. This means blocking or unfriending them on Facebook, deleting their number, blocking their email, etc.

Do everything you can to prevent yourself from thinking it’s a great idea to tell them how much you love/hate them at 3am, after one too many shots. This also stops your ex from doing the same. After all, you broke up for a reason, so you need to stick to your guns and leave the unhealthy stalking out of it. [Read: How to stop thinking about someone you still like]

#3 Don’t assume you will be friends. “Let’s still be friends” is probably one of the most overused lines when dealing with heartbreak and breakups. But in truth, it’s not always realistic. Rarely do couples actually manage to have a properly functioning relationship after they’ve broken up. There’s simply too much history there to make it work.

Of course, if you really can make it into the friendship zone, then well done. But for the initial breakup stages, it’s best to simply concentrate on getting your life back in order, not nurturing a friendship that’s unlikely to last. [Read: Can you be friends with an ex after a breakup?]

#4 Don’t use alcohol to make you feel better. Okay, so this one might be almost impossible immediately after your breakup. Slugging away a large bottle of wine is sometimes just what we need to give ourselves a little bit of instant pain relief from the heartbreak of a relationship breakdown.

However, going out and getting out-of-your-mind drunk is not going to help matters. You are far more likely to do something reckless, regrettable, and even dangerous if you’re up to your eyeballs in tequila. Having a few glasses of wine and talking it through with friends is very different from waking up and realizing that you’re in bed with some rando.

#5 Work out. Nothing says “look how much better I am without you” to an ex than getting a killer body. Besides, throwing yourself into an intense workout routine is a great way to feel good about yourself. Exercise releases endorphins, and the more you do it, the fitter and trimmer you’ll become.

Make yourself an upbeat, ferocious, even angry gym workout playlist and listen to it full blast while pumping those weights. You’ll feel better about everything afterwards—we can guarantee it. [Read: 25 inspirational tips to get motivated and work out]

#6 Go for long walks. Getting plenty of alone time outside in the fresh air can really do you a world of good. You can clear your head, think things over, reason with yourself, and try to feel positive about things. Often, a good walk with our own thoughts amongst some beautiful scenery is just what the doctor ordered.

#7 Get a rebound guy. When you feel ready, find the hottest guy you possibly can and have a no-strings-attached, passionate shagathon with him.

The best guys for this are the ones you are incredibly attracted to, but know you would never get into a new relationship with. Ones you drool over, but find a bit cringing to have a conversation with. This will build your confidence back up while ensuring that you don’t immediately get into a new relationship when you’re not actually ready. [Read: Rebound relationships and why they’re good for you]

#8 Be single for a while. Being single is not miserable. It’s actually fantastically fun. Reclaim all that time as yours and spend every minute of it doing all the things that you’ve ever wanted to do.

It’s easy to panic and get into the “Oh God I am going to die alone surrounded by 18 cats” mindset, but if you spend time making your own life as fun and interesting as possible, you’ll end up so much happier. Remember, romance can wait, no matter how old you are. [Read: Staying in love or staying single?]

#9 Plot revenge, but don’t act on it. Sometimes, you just want to get seriously angry, especially if you feel as though you’ve been wronged in the relationship.

Plot a vicious and creative revenge that puts him down on his knees begging for you to take him back as you stand over him in a fabulous ball gown laughing at the pathetic mess of a man he has become.

Getting angry is cool, talking about all the reasons why he was a horrible boyfriend *even if you don’t mean half of them* is cool. However, breaking into his house and cutting holes in all of his favorite t-shirts is not cool. By all means, get mad at your ex, but don’t turn into a crazy person.

#10 Cry. Crying is important and healthy. Don’t feel like you shouldn’t do it. Sometimes, the best thing to do when dealing with heartbreak is putting on the sappiest, most romantic film you can find, drinking a large glass of wine, stuffing chocolate into your face ,and sobbing into your sweatpants. Do it. It weirdly actually helps. [Read: Ready for some tears? 20 movies that will make you cry]

#11 Stop blaming yourself. As soon as you realize that none of this was your fault, you will feel so much better. Relationships break down all the time. It’s sad, for sure, but it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, or that you should spend the rest of your life wallowing in self-pity.

#12 Give it time. Time makes everything better. This is the one fact that everyone knows. When you’re feeling heartbroken and miserable, it can be difficult to see that. But try to remember all the breakups that you’ve ever been through, or all your friends who have wailed on your shoulder because they’ve felt like their lives were over, too. They’ve all gotten over it, right? So you will, too. [Read: How to get over your first love with a happy memory]

Dealing with heartbreak is one of the toughest jobs to have to do. But by following the above tips and giving yourself the time to heal, you’ll get there and will be all the better for it.

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Bethany Locke
Bethany Locke
Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. She works as a f...
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