Break ups can be painful, but they can also pave the way to a better understanding of ourselves, and help us become better individuals. Here are five very important questions that we need to ask ourselves when we hit a roadblock with that inevitable break up.
Is there life after a break up? Can one trust again? Is love real, or is it a myth? What does one need to do to ensure that lady luck, read cupid, smiles on us? These are only some of the questions that we could ask ourselves after a painful split. But once we come to terms with the reality, it is time to take stock of the situation, and reassess the options.
This is also the time to decide to leave the past behind, while we look at the best course of action. Interestingly, life always gives us myriad options, even though at this point of time we may not be able to see many of them, because of the cloud of gloom and self doubt that seems to hang over us.
On a positive note, this is also the best time to take stock, and assess the damage before venturing to the next step. The best action is to take responsibility for what has happened. Assume that you were the one who played the key role in what has happened. Look at this from a logical, rather than from an emotional point of view. The trick here is to imagine that you are looking at your situation through the eyes of a friend, or a counselor.
Be objective, and things will start to look a lot clearer. By seeing this situation as a case study, you will gain a lot of information that you would not be privy to, had you looked at it from an emotional standpoint.
There are five questions that would be able to help you get a deeper understanding about yourself, and the role you played in the relationship.
Question 1. What was your partner’s favorite grouse against you?
This is one of the best benchmarks of a breakup. Life, almost always, gives us adequate warnings before it strikes out at us. What was your partner cribbing about, most often? If you had to correct your behavior and attitude, would that have helped repair the relationship?
Further, do check whether this is something that has been mentioned by other people as well, at home, or in the office. If other people have been cribbing about a similar thing to you, then you should make up your mind to rectify the aberration before it affects some other aspect of your life. Why lose out on your other relationships too?
Question 2. Is there any weakness of yours that could have contributed to the break up?
This is another area of your life that you will want to work on, since this weakness has been noted by you, and is not something pointed out by an external source. If you can make the necessary change in your personality, then this would be the best way forward. However, if the change requires some external help, you could enlist the help of one of your trusted friends, or family members.
If this is difficult, do not hesitate to approach a recommended counselor. Reading books or articles about your situation and how you could handle life better, will also help you come out of the situation with wisdom rather than with animosity.