As easy as it is to give advice to others, following the same is never easy, because reading the signs is always a hard thing to do when your mind is clouded with hope and love.
Is it time to move on and end the relationship?
When you see a friend who’s experiencing a bad relationship, it’s easy to point fingers or call them stupid for enduring such an obvious mess.
But when you experience the same scenario, you’d probably realize that something’s not right, but would you be able to pass a judgment on whether it’s fixable or something you need to walk away from?
As confusing or complicated as a problem in a relationship may seem, it starts and ends with a simple idea, and that’s happiness. And if you use happiness as a yardstick to decode your relationship, you’d find that it could help you understand yourself and the relationships you’re in, a lot better.
You’re not happy
It’s this simple really. If you aren’t happy in your relationship, you’re not in a happy relationship.
Or you can move on, especially if you’ve tried to fix the relationship several times, and it still doesn’t bring you any closer to happiness.
16 signs it’s time to move on and end the relationship
So are you happy or unhappy in love? Here are 16 clear signs that can help you understand if you’re in a relationship that isn’t worth holding on to. Can you relate to at least a few of these signs in your own relationship?
All of us have our own thresholds when it comes to sacrifices and enduring pain in the hope of a better relationship. But if you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle while trying to bring happiness into your romance, ask yourself if you see these signs in your own love life. [Read: The 80 20 rule in relationships that make love work for you]
#1 The spark is missing. You don’t know why you’re in the relationship anymore. The romance is missing, there’s no chemistry or companionship, and both of you just exist in each other’s lives without any special reason. Sometimes, you secretly wonder why both of you are even together in the first place?
#2 You’re hurting. You’re misunderstood, hurt or angry all the time. Sometimes, you don’t even know why, but just thinking of your partner hurts you or annoys you. And sadly, even if you haven’t given this a thought, you haven’t been happy for a very long time. [Read: 16 silly bad habits that can hurt your relationship]
#3 You’re being taken for granted. Your partner uses you, manipulates your understanding nature and takes you for granted, no matter how nice you are to them. You’ve been doing all the giving, in the hope that your partner will see how selfless and loving you are, and change for the better some day. [Read: Are you being taken for granted? – 16 very clear signs]
#4 You don’t see a future. You’re satisfied with your relationship, and you’re happy-ish. But every time you’re alone or try to see where your relationship is going, your mind tells you that your relationship has no future. And as hard as you try to visualize a perfect tomorrow, you can’t see your partner as a long-term lover.
#5 Uninvolved. Your partner doesn’t care enough to play an active part in your life, nor do they even try to understand your life. They’re emotionally uninvolved and unavailable, even when you try to make them feel involved.
#6 Sexual intimacy. You can’t remember the last time both of you made love. You’ve tried your best to bring the sizzle back into the bedroom, but your partner prefers to turn the other way and feign sleep. And it feels worse when you catch your partner admiring others when both of you are walking down a street. [Read: 10 naughty, sexy and fun ways to make long term sex feel like a one night stand]
#7 What holds both of you together? Are you in the relationship or marriage only because of the baggage that holds the both of you together? If the reason for the existence of the romantic relationship isn’t love, then you’re only fooling yourself if you believe it’ll ever bring you any happiness.
#8 Deep trust issues. You don’t trust your partner anymore. There may be a genuine reason for the lack of trust, or perhaps, both of you just have different expectations from each other when it comes to trust and believing in each other. But unless both of you even the creases on the issue of trust, the love will only fade, and never grow. [Read: The fastest way to get over trust issues in your romance]
#9 Different lives. There are no meaningful conversations between the two of you. You have nothing to talk about beyond small talk because your values, vision, and expectations from life are completely different from your partner’s views and both of you haven’t taken the initiative to find common grounds.
#10 Back to square one. It happens all the time. There’s a lot of love. And then comes a big fight. And then both of you communicate with each other and end the argument with a lot of love and affection.
And in no time, the same issues crop up all over again, and the same cycle starts all over again. Can both of you ever evolve as a couple if the same issues stagnate your lives and stops both of you from bonding together as a couple? [Read: The secrets of a love-hate relationship – Can it ever work?]
#11 Controlling behavior. People with insecure personalities don’t always confront their partner. Instead, they use manipulation, aggression and subtle controlling behavior to manipulate you into believing they’re right and you’re wrong. And before you know it, you’d feel lost and all alone because you would lose all your friends and turn into your partner’s slave. [Read: 15 shocking and yet subtle signs of a controlling partner]
#12 Individual lives. You think you love your partner, and you think you’re happy in your relationship. But yet, both of you just live together and have nothing in common, and lead individual lives.
#13 People pleasers. Your partner constantly goes overboard to please another person just to impress them and win their fancy. But they’d never ever do anything like that for you. [Read: 20 obvious signs of a people pleaser]
#14 Fault finding. Your partner makes you feel inadequate in the relationship all the time. They treat you like you’re not good enough, and always find faults with everything you do. They break you emotionally, and constantly expect you to change for them because you’re not good enough!
#15 You don’t enjoy their company. You dread spending time together with your partner. You feel comfortable hanging out with your lover as long as it’s with a group of friends. But every time you have to spend some *quality* time together, it makes you feel uncomfortable. [Read: 18 relationship turn offs that can ruin your romance!]
#16 Respect. Do you respect your partner as an individual? Does your partner respect you? For a relationship to be successful, respect for one another plays a very big part. If there’s no respect for each other, then there’s surely no hope for the future.