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16 Signs It’s Time to Move On and End the Relationship

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Do you ever wonder if you’re in an unhappy or wrong relationship? Use these 16 signs to find out if it’s time to move on and end your relationship. By Cheryl James

signs it's time to move on and end the relationship

When you enter into a romantic relationship with someone, you don’t expect it to fail.

You walk into the relationship with your hopes high, and look forward to a promising future with the one you’ve fallen in love with.

But not all relationships work out perfectly, even if the two people involved seem perfect for each other, do they?

What would you do if you find yourself in a relationship that’s just so wrong for you?

Would you walk away or would you endure the pain in the hope that things would get better soon?

You may be able to answer this question easily right now, if you weren’t caught up in the thick of a messy relationship.

And if you’re in a relationship that’s been harming you slowly, one day at a time, would you even be able to recognize the signs of a bad relationship?

[Read: 18 clear and critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

As easy as it is to give advice to others, following the same is never easy, because reading the signs is always a hard thing to do when your mind is clouded with hope and love.

Is it time to move on and end the relationship?

When you see a friend who’s experiencing a bad relationship, it’s easy to point fingers or call them stupid for enduring such an obvious mess.

But when you experience the same scenario, you’d probably realize that something’s not right, but would you be able to pass a judgment on whether it’s fixable or something you need to walk away from?

As confusing or complicated as a problem in a relationship may seem, it starts and ends with a simple idea, and that’s happiness. And if you use happiness as a yardstick to decode your relationship, you’d find that it could help you understand yourself and the relationships you’re in, a lot better.

You’re not happy

It’s this simple really. If you aren’t happy in your relationship, you’re not in a happy relationship.

Now there are two things you can do here, you can try to fix the problems before it’s too late. [Read: The 10 most common relationship problems and quick ways to fix them]

Or you can move on, especially if you’ve tried to fix the relationship several times, and it still doesn’t bring you any closer to happiness.

16 signs it’s time to move on and end the relationship

So are you happy or unhappy in love? Here are 16 clear signs that can help you understand if you’re in a relationship that isn’t worth holding on to. Can you relate to at least a few of these signs in your own relationship?

All of us have our own thresholds when it comes to sacrifices and enduring pain in the hope of a better relationship. But if you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle while trying to bring happiness into your romance, ask yourself if you see these signs in your own love life. [Read: The 80 20 rule in relationships that make love work for you]

#1 The spark is missing. You don’t know why you’re in the relationship anymore. The romance is missing, there’s no chemistry or companionship, and both of you just exist in each other’s lives without any special reason. Sometimes, you secretly wonder why both of you are even together in the first place?

#2 You’re hurting. You’re misunderstood, hurt or angry all the time. Sometimes, you don’t even know why, but just thinking of your partner hurts you or annoys you. And sadly, even if you haven’t given this a thought, you haven’t been happy for a very long time. [Read: 16 silly bad habits that can hurt your relationship]

#3 You’re being taken for granted. Your partner uses you, manipulates your understanding nature and takes you for granted, no matter how nice you are to them. You’ve been doing all the giving, in the hope that your partner will see how selfless and loving you are, and change for the better some day. [Read:  Are you being taken for granted? - 16 very clear signs]

#4 You don’t see a future. You’re satisfied with your relationship, and you’re happy-ish. But every time you’re alone or try to see where your relationship is going, your mind tells you that your relationship has no future. And as hard as you try to visualize a perfect tomorrow, you can’t see your partner as a long-term lover.

#5 Uninvolved. Your partner doesn’t care enough to play an active part in your life, nor do they even try to understand your life. They’re emotionally uninvolved and unavailable, even when you try to make them feel involved.

#6 Sexual intimacy. You can’t remember the last time both of you made love. You’ve tried your best to bring the sizzle back into the bedroom, but your partner prefers to turn the other way and feign sleep. And it feels worse when you catch your partner admiring others when both of you are walking down a street. [Read: 10 naughty, sexy and fun ways to make long term sex feel like a one night stand]

#7 What holds both of you together? Are you in the relationship or marriage only because of the baggage that holds the both of you together? If the reason for the existence of the romantic relationship isn’t love, then you’re only fooling yourself if you believe it’ll ever bring you any happiness.

#8 Deep trust issues. You don’t trust your partner anymore. There may be a genuine reason for the lack of trust, or perhaps, both of you just have different expectations from each other when it comes to trust and believing in each other. But unless both of you even the creases on the issue of trust, the love will only fade, and never grow. [Read: The fastest way to get over trust issues in your romance]

#9 Different lives. There are no meaningful conversations between the two of you. You have nothing to talk about beyond small talk because your values, vision, and expectations from life are completely different from your partner’s views and both of you haven’t taken the initiative to find common grounds.

#10 Back to square one. It happens all the time. There’s a lot of love. And then comes a big fight. And then both of you communicate with each other and end the argument with a lot of love and affection.

And in no time, the same issues crop up all over again, and the same cycle starts all over again. Can both of you ever evolve as a couple if the same issues stagnate your lives and stops both of you from bonding together as a couple? [Read: The secrets of a love-hate relationship - Can it ever work?]

#11 Controlling behavior. People with insecure personalities don’t always confront their partner. Instead, they use manipulation, aggression and subtle controlling behavior to manipulate you into believing they’re right and you’re wrong. And before you know it, you’d feel lost and all alone because you would lose all your friends and turn into your partner’s slave. [Read: 15 shocking and yet subtle signs of a controlling partner]

#12 Individual lives. You think you love your partner, and you think you’re happy in your relationship. But yet, both of you just live together and have nothing in common, and lead individual lives.

#13 People pleasers. Your partner constantly goes overboard to please another person just to impress them and win their fancy. But they’d never ever do anything like that for you. [Read: 20 obvious signs of a people pleaser]

#14 Fault finding. Your partner makes you feel inadequate in the relationship all the time. They treat you like you’re not good enough, and always find faults with everything you do. They break you emotionally, and constantly expect you to change for them because you’re not good enough!

#15 You don’t enjoy their company. You dread spending time together with your partner. You feel comfortable hanging out with your lover as long as it’s with a group of friends. But every time you have to spend some *quality* time together, it makes you feel uncomfortable. [Read: 18 relationship turn offs that can ruin your romance!]

#16 Respect. Do you respect your partner as an individual? Does your partner respect you? For a relationship to be successful, respect for one another plays a very big part. If there’s no respect for each other, then there’s surely no hope for the future.

[Read: 20 sure signs to tell if your relationship is oh-so-over]

How many of these signs are you experiencing right now? And how many of these are acceptable to you? Now, ask yourself again, are you happy in love or is it time to move on and end the relationship?


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Have your say!
  • Lisa
    May 8, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’ve been dating a man for over two years. In the first year if our relationship I had learned he met up with his ex girlfriend after work. He owns a restaurant and she came into town from out of state and visited him. When the restaurant closed for the evening they went out for.a drink. He never told me and when I asked he became defensive saying it was strictly platonic. They had dated for six years and almost got married. I confronted her and she said if she wanted him she could still have him at the alter but there were no romantic feelings and she would continue to see him whether I liked it or not. We went to couples counseling and he agreed he would not speak or talk to her again. Fast forward to this year in February. He asked for a break on February 9th, and changed his phone number, I had access to his cell account because I pay the bills. The first call was to his ex and there were seven calls between them in a three week period. When we resumed seeing each other I confronted him. He became angry stating that there was nothing between them and that they only contacted one another as she made reservations while in town to go to his restaurant. He said he has maintained friendships with all of his exs who come into his establishment with their husbands and children and that I am being unreasonable and jealous. He said if chose to be with me and is not a cheater. I also saw him during this break period kiss another woman. When I confronted her she said he had tried to take her home, introduced her to his staff, and called her twice the next day to meet for lunch. He said this was the only time it happened and because we were on a break and having problems he reacted by trying to move forward. He apologized when we resumed our relationship, swore it never happened before and proposed to me with a ring to prove his commitment. He refuses to acknowledge how I feel betrayed over him seeing his ex annually. He won’t promise not to see her again because he feels I’m making this up in my mind when there is nothing to it but friendship and her stopping by to say hi. I’m confused because his words and his actions have caused a great deal if mistrust. It’s like her feelings come before mine and although they may not speak for a year, it still bothers me. After I confronted him, he blocked me from his cell records, his online banking and told me once he could trust me and I got over my jealousy he would grant access again. I’m not sure I want to continue a relationship with him. Especially when he refuses to cease contact with her knowing it hurts me. I also don’t like how he deflected the blame to me and won’t take any accountability or acknowledge how much this hurt my feelings. What should I do?

  • R
    May 12, 2014 | Permalink |

    Lisa, dump his ass. He sounds like a douche. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.

  • sandra
    May 28, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and after only 4 months of dating we moved in togather.
    Everything has been great, we hardly ever fight, when we got togather i was 18 now im 21 and he’s 26. He’s a great guy, hard working, nice, very ofectionate, caring, and loving. But i feel like im not good enough for him i try so hard to be everything he deserves but i still feel that i don’t reach his expectations. Even though he never tells me anything i can feel it. When we go out i see him looking at other woman, and if i tell him something he gets mad and says im “exaggerating” .
    Lately i feel like we have fallen into a rut! Samething every day nothing new! I want to go have an adventure something new something ddifferent, but when i tell him he’s never really interested, he just tells me “yeah later” and i honestly am getting really tired of she same old same old. When we got togather he made me give up all my friends and he kept all of his. He made me the moon and him the planet my world revolves around him. I can’t hang out with my old friends only family, but he can. I feel like my life is going no where and i feel like i should be somewhere else in life enjoying it. I wish he would have the same thrill for adventure as i do but he doesn’t sometimes i just wanna get out and run, run as fast as i can and not stop and get as far as i can possibly can from everything. Being stuck in this house all day everyday doing the same things every single day not nothing new not one day of the week and being with someone whos just not intereasted in doing something different is really getting to me!

    What should i do?

  • samentha smith
    July 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have been marries to my husband for almost 2 years and I always feel like I have to ask for permission and he gets mad if I want to ga hang out with a friend and he goes thro my phone and looks at my texts and I cant even go swimming in the pool on the property he doesnt trust me and he is overprotective and controlling what do I do please get back to me soon

  • samentha smith
    July 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    ifeel traped and like prisoner

  • Francesca
    August 12, 2014 | Permalink |

    Samantha leave him. He is controlling you and none of his actions are your fault

  • Don
    August 15, 2014 | Permalink |

    Samentha you need to sit him down and tell him you are not happy with the way he is! Maybe if you both went to a therapist and tried to work it out but from what I am hearing from you is he is a control freak and will make you miserable for the rest of your life! I was in a marriage like that and would have left but my wife died of cancer. I took care of her until the day she died! Leave and then you will be open to meet someone who will treat you like you deserved to be treated!

  • Becky
    August 16, 2014 | Permalink |

    Been with this guy for 2yrs he just walked away this isnt the first time but i dont understand how can ge go away and it not bother him to not see or talk to me not even text as if i never was anythin to him..we didnt argue nor fight tgats the strange part..then top it off i find hes been goin on local porn meetup sights but yet our sex was great so why would he do any of this ?having hard time cuz im left hanging wondering wtf…

  • Becky
    August 16, 2014 | Permalink |

    Oh another thing to wat i first sent i have blocked his texts n calls, im tempted to check see if he has texted but dont want to b hurt more if he hasn’t i know he has’nt called because though its blocked it’ll still show..its his b’day tomorrow should i even bother sending a bday wish since hes the one that left ?

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