Some handle stress better than others, depending on their personality. If you’re with someone with a temper, here’s how you can deal with it.
Let’s face it, sh*t happens. All relationships have good days and bad days, but just because you two may not agree on something, or life doesn’t go the way you want it to, does not mean it needs to turn into a huge fight.
It’s never fun being around someone who is screaming or yelling *think crying babies on airplanes*, and it’s especially not fun when it’s your significant other. It’s okay to disagree with each other, and it’s okay to fight sometimes. But it’s not okay to get upset all the time. Life is too short and wonderful to spend it living in anger, or getting upset over really stupid things.
If you’re dating someone who gets angry over ice cream falling on the ground, this is not okay, unless you’re dating a 2-year old. It’s just ice cream, it can be replaced, and it will taste the same as the one before. This is an example of a very stupid thing to get upset over. [Read: 10 relationship problems and how to fix them]
How to handle your partner’s anger issues
If you’re dating someone with a very short fuse, it can be overwhelming. But the good news is there are ways to handle it. The following 10 ways are how you can handle them, the next time they decide to unleash all their fury, letting their angry-freak-flag fly.
#1 If your partner comes home upset, get active somehow. If your partner comes home angry from work, or is upset about something not directly related to you, then you should get active. You two can go for a walk outside or go to the gym ASAP. We all know exercising releases endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. After a workout or some fresh air, you can feel pretty relaxed and calm. Try this the next time you know your partner is upset about something, but not at their breaking point. [Read: 25 inspirational tips to motivate you to work out]
#2 If they start yelling, walk away. If your partner is so angry and upset that they start screaming at you for something that has absolutely nothing to do with you, simply walk out the door and go somewhere for 10-20 minutes. By leaving, it shows them that you won’t put up with their temper tantrum nor will you waste any more of your precious time listening to them scream at you, instead of talking to each other like adults.
Also, by walking away, they will be left alone in the room, yelling, and pretty soon they’ll start feeling rather stupid to be acting so childish. More than likely, when you arrive back, they will apologize for behaving the way they did. [Read: 8 ways to avoid the awkward tension after an argument]
#3 Partner mad? Punch a bag. If your partner tends to get really angry, and they have gone through a few phones because they tend to throw things, then maybe it’s a good idea to buy a punching bag for these moments. Punching bags are actually pretty hard to hit, and not only will they get a workout, but they will also relieve a ton of stress. And to be honest, sometimes it feels good to hit something, as long as you don’t hurt anyone or anything.
#4 Laugh. Laughing is the best medicine, really. The next time they start screaming or whatever they do when they freak out, go to a local comedy show, or turn on your favorite movie. How can you not laugh at Wedding Crashers over and over again?!
#5 Record them. Just like no one wants a sex tape for all the world to see, most people probably wouldn’t like to see or hear video footage of them when they are acting like a crazy person, screaming and cussing over something as trivial as literal spilt milk.
The next time your partner decides they want to throw a temper tantrum, take your phone out and record them, and then when they are done, replay their behavior in all its glory for them, so they can see just how ridiculous they’re being. Next time, they probably will think twice about all the F-bombs they say, or maybe they will be so embarrassed that they won’t even raise their voice.
#6 Listen lovingly. If your partner is really angry and upset, and you don’t know if they are on the verge of crying or screaming, try sitting down with them, and just listen. In this situation, you need to remain calm, and speak with a relaxing tone in your voice. Let them know you are more than available to listen to what’s upsetting them.
As tempted as you may be to talk back, don’t! Let them do all the talking, and watch the wave break. Eventually they will calm down, and the stress will leave their body. When this happens, then you two can go back to being the well-behaved couple that you are.
#7 Play shadow. Have you ever played shadow? You know, the game where you copycat the other person? If you have, then you know how annoying the person being the shadow is. I mean, they are repeating everything you say, even when you are telling them to stop.
So the next time your guy or gal decides to throw a hissy fit, play shadow. If they start screaming, you start screaming. If they start cussing, you cuss. If they start stomping around, you start stomping around. They will probably look at you with a WTF expression, say stop, but eventually they will be so annoyed by you, that they calm down and bring their temper back down to zero. Shadow is your new best friend!
#8 Give them a reality check. If your partner is upset over something trivial, you need to give them a reality check. If they are upset over having to stay an extra 5-10 minutes at work or getting stuck in traffic, remind them how insignificant these things are, when compared to other, bigger issues. Next time they decide to go run around the house screaming like a chicken with their head cut off, start asking them questions that are sure to tug at the heart strings.
Ask questions like, do you have a roof over your head? Yes. Are you in good health? Yes. Do you have a bed to sleep in? Yes. Do you have a job? Yes. Do you have someone that loves you? Yes. Do you have food to eat every day? Yes. Do you have clean water to drink? Yes.Yes. Yes. Yes!
Doing this will snap them back to reality. By taking a minute to consider just how many people in the world that do have real problems, and reminding them their “first-world” problems are not problems at all. They will end up feeling pretty stupid. [Read: 23 dos and don’ts of relationship arguments]
#9 Start dancing. The next time your guy or gal wants to act out, you too, should put on a performance. If they are screaming, or stomping, or slamming kitchen cabinets, turn on a really silly song like the “Chicken Dance” song, or something that makes you feel really child-like and silly.
While your partner might be screaming, la la la, you can’t hear them! Why? Because you’re doing the chicken dance, having a great time and ignoring them. And if they love you, which they do *although it might be hard to tell when their heart turns black during these moments of rage*, they will look over at you dancing to the chicken dance song, and think about how adorable you look. And this will eventually cause them to crack a smile. As a bonus, it’s always nice to be reminded that they really aren’t a dragon with flames coming out of their mouth.
#10Threaten to call their mother (and Face Time her too). If all else fails, this is one way to really shut them up. If your partner is so upset and being a complete nut, you can always threaten to call their mom, and put her on Face Time so that she too, can see him/her in their rage-show.
This is probably the most embarrassing thing you could do to your partner. But the good news is that this works, and usually they stop immediately because let’s be honest, you’re both adults here. And adults don’t call their mommy or daddy when they are acting out. But this is also where you can remind them that most adults don’t throwing temper-tantrums that would give 2-year olds a run for their money.
When humor doesn’t work, stress-relieving activities might just be the best thing you can get your partner to do when they’re being angry over the littlest of things. So the next time your partner is throwing a hissy fit, try these methods of dealing with them.
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