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11 Tiny Relationship Issues You’re Better Off Ignoring

relationship issues

How do you know when to make a fuss of something and when not to? If you want to maintain your relationship, there are issues you must let go of.

Of course, these issues are very subjective and should be taken with a pinch of salt. Many factors come into play when determining what you should and shouldn’t ignore in a relationship. Your age, your personality, your partner’s dating history, how long you’ve been together, and many other little things should be considered.

Personality plays a major role in whether to let certain things go. For example, dealing with a bossy partner may bother someone who is easier going than someone who isn’t. Andy and Jimmy have been together for 14 years, and Andy has complained on more than one occasion that despite both of them being men, his partner wears the pants in the family. It’s not something that just recently cropped up, but something he has been aware of since their first date.

On the other hand, Matthias and Andrea were together for all of 2 months when Andrea unceremoniously dumped Matthias. She claimed that he was too bossy for his own good, and she simply could not envision a life with him. [Read: The right way to handle controlling behavior in a relationship]

Everyone is different, and there’s really no shame in admitting it. It all comes down to how strong your bond with your partner is. If you think that confronting your lover will improve the relationship, then you should try to work on things. However, if you think it’s going to bring on more problems and resentment, then let it go. Of course, be sure to have your best interests at heart, and never settle for mediocrity.

What issues aren’t worth fighting over?

If you’re stumped, here is a general guideline on 11 little relationship issues that you’re better off just ignoring.

#1 Bossiness. If you have to deal with a bossy partner, then you’re not the only one. It shouldn’t bother you too much because you can always tune out the bossiness and do it your way. They of all people will understand the importance of getting things done your way. All you have to do is calmly remind your partner that being bossy may advance their career, but at home, that attitude has to be left at the door. [Read: 20 glaring signs there’s a control freak in your life]

#2 Alone time. There’s nothing wrong if your partner needs some alone time. Don’t let it bother you too much because alone time is very important, especially if you live together. There are many ways for you and your partner to enjoy solo time without actually living apart. For example, one can indulge in a night out with friends, while the other stays home with the laundry.

You can also do something simple like plan a lazy day in where you dominate the bedroom, and your partner gets the living room. Indulge in sitting around alone in your knickers and zoning out to the latest season of Orange Is the New Black, and when both of you are ready to reunite, just call out to each other. [Read: 10 obvious hints your partner gives when they’re craving for more space]

#3 Superiority. I was on the fence about including this in the list, but I personally feel that having a partner who lords over you is a problem that many people face. This is definitely a personality issue and can easily be swept under the rug if you’re patient enough or know that your partner means no harm.

For example, Dannie has been with Andrew for over 6 years, and even people meeting them for the first time can tell that she plays the superior role in the relationship. Whether she intends to or not, she projects the impression that she’s better at everything. From how she does the dishes to how much she makes, she makes it seem like her accomplishments matter more than his.

Being made to feel inferior may break a lesser man, but Andrew knows that she means no harm. For all we know, how they behave in public may completely differ from what they’re like behind closed doors. [Read: 14 common things women say that emasculate their man]

#4 Friend time. Another issue that may cause problems in your relationship is when your partner wants to spend plenty of time with his or her friends. I personally don’t see this as an issue, but many people do. They think that because they’re with someone, they should spend every waking moment together.

If you’re one of these people, you have to let this go. There’s nothing wrong with letting your lover spend some quality time with people who care about them. Poker night with the boys is harmless, and so is heading for cocktails with the girls. Always remember that it’s good spending some time apart and focusing on yourself. When your partner is out and about with friends, you should do the same. [Read: How to love someone without smothering them]

#5 Lame jokes. Another relationship issue to let go of is your partner’s weak sense of humor. Say your lover cracks the lamest, most sarcastic jokes that do nothing more than embarrass you. If this is an issue, look at it this way: you should be pleased that your partner is making the effort to connect with you and the people around you.

Sure, telling lame jokes may not be the best way to do it, but you have to give them credit for trying. Go the extra mile, and laugh every so often at one of these jokes because hey, it doesn’t hurt to make them feel good.

#6 Kinkiness. This may be more of a plus point than an issue for most couples, but kinkiness is undoubtedly a problem for some. Just let it go, and play along. There’s truly nothing wrong with expanding your sexual horizons and trying things that you never thought you would. For all you know, you may awaken the sexual beast in you and discover a whole new world of wonder. [Read: 10 easy ways to help you open up about your kinky side]

#7 Inexperience. For some, dating someone with minimal or no relationship experience is a deal breaker. The same can be said for virgins. However, what matters most is your love for this person, not how much or how frequently they have loved in the past. From teaching your partner how to kiss just right to schooling them on the ins and outs of a serious relationship, think of it as a journey rather than a hindrance.

#8 Messiness. Socks in the hallway? Makeup spilling over every surface counter? Unmade bed? Well, messiness is very subjective. What may seem like an unholy mess to you may just be how things are done to others. There’s nothing wrong with gently reminding your partner to pick up after themselves and to make an effort to cater to your neat whims, but don’t blow it out of proportion. Only make a fuss if their messiness crosses the line and traipses into the unhygienic zone.

#9 Nitpicking. Why don’t you shave? Shouldn’t you iron that shirt? Do you think it’s time you go on a diet? Nitpicking is an issue that many people cannot stand, and for good reason, too. No one likes being told that how they’re doing things is wrong and stupid. If your partner nitpicks, then you should let them know that it’s your life to live and that you appreciate their concern.

However, don’t let this become too big of an issue because the same way a mother hen pokes and prods, your partner is just saying and doing these things because they want the best for you. [Read: 8 ways to be less critical of the people around you]

#10 Spending habits. Whether they’re a big spender or a thrifty miser, let them do as they please with their money. So long as they set aside a respectable amount for a rainy day and don’t need you to prop them up, let them do as they please. It’s their money, hence their decision to spend it as they see fit.

#11 Your friends hate your partner. We have all been exposed to that uncomfortable scenario whereby your friends don’t get along with your partner. You can no longer plan group get-togethers without being shot a couple of eye rolls from your besties.

At the end of the day, you’re the one dating this person, not them, so you should just let this relationship issue go. In fact, it shouldn’t even be an issue at all. Your friends will eventually come around, so no matter what, keep trying to make it work on both sides. [Read: Help! My friends don’t like my partner!]

When all is said and done, you should know if the issues you’re facing are those that you can live with or something you need to quash before things get out of hand. If you don’t know whether to pursue it, always listen to your inner voice. If your intuition tells you to confront your partner, then do it. Sure, there are consequences to be dealt with, but when you do it for yourself, you’ll feel a whole lot better about it no matter the outcome.

[Read: The ever-successful 80/20 rule for dealing with relationship issues]

Pick your relationship battles instead of hounding your partner for every little issue that you spot. There are some relationship issues that are better off being ignored, so you might as well save yourself the stress and ignore them!

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Lianne Choo
Lianne Choo
Born in Singapore and raised in Malaysia to multi-racial parents, Lianne is a self-proclaimed travel and food junkie. Having traveled extensively around the wor...
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DISCUSSION

6 thoughts on “11 Tiny Relationship Issues You’re Better Off Ignoring”

  1. SophiaL says:

    Ignoring things can really be difficult to do when you are in a relationship because I know I look at everything and am sometimes too focused on things that really are not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. I know that one area is my man and the amount of time he spends with his friends. I do find myself complaining and almost begging for attention or acting like it is either them or me when I should really relax. His friends are important to him and I am also. Asking him to choose can be a death sentence. Another thing I know I spend too much energy on and should ignore more often is him wanting his time alone. I think that is my lack of trust and that is my problem really that I am trying to work on and make better. We both need time alone and this is something that will enhance our relationship when we come together.

  2. Patrick says:

    Superiority and bossiness are definite red flags that SHOULDN’T be ignored. However, these are things that usually present themselves really early into a relationship. I’ve been on the receiving end of some bossy girls (read: bitchy) and it’s definitely not a fun experience. That sort of personality just doesn’t mesh well with my own temperament and I’m out the door not too long after things start getting too intense. I’d rather not spend my life on my knees in service to some girl who thinks she’s a queen bee without the achievements to back it up. Sorry ladies, but I’ll take a sweet little powderpuff over an

  3. ChaoticNight says:

    Yeah, I gotta say this article needs a bit of work. Really it shouldn’t even be one as it even admits that whether or not these things are deal breakers will depend on your personalities. Some make sense, like giving each other alone time and not worrying how they spend THEIR money (not money you put in a joint account) , but some of the others need more explanations.

    Like the superiority one; exactly what does Dannie say that makes her project superiority? How does Andy know she isn’t intentionally bragging? And it’s fine their relationship works but in other situations a superior attitude can be a sign of an abuser. Obviously you have to look for other signs too but it shouldn’t just be brushed aside; your antenna should be up. And even if it is unintentional, that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt. My ex unintentionally hurt my feelings a few times because of statements about being better than me at things (we all have our strengths but it was how he said it).

    And #6- You do NOT have to try anything you are not comfortable with. If you are willing to fine, but your partner shouldn’t pressure you and neither should this author. And some kinks can be dangerous if not engaged in properly, so it’s unwise to just ‘let go’ without understanding what you are getting into.

    I think the wisest advice is in the introductory paragraphs that basically says your millage (on what you can put up with) may vary. Adding to that; remember, if someone has what you consider bad habits when you meet them, you need to consider if they are deal breakers for you because most likely they won’t change. It’s easier to walk away sooner than later.

  4. Lillie says:

    This article does a great job highlighting a lot of issues that many couples have from time to time. I think superiority is one that should not be ignored. If the person you’re dating acts this way now, what means that they’re not going to act this way all of the time? I think it should be addressed if you really like that person, otherwise, you should move on.

  5. Inocente says:

    You better ignore it if your partner spends time with her friends. She is spending more time with you anyway than she does with them so cut her a little slack, would you? It’s nice that you just want to keep her safe and all but don’t you think that she would also be safe with her friends going out with her? You don’t need to go with her and check up on her. She is not your child. You shouldn’t worry about stuff like that because the more you think about it happening, the more it is going to happen and when it does happen you’re the one to blame for it. Always remember that you have no right to restrict your girlfriend from seeing or spending time with her friends. They have been friends way longer than you had a relationship with her and they probably know her way better than you do. All you know about your girlfriend is if she shaves her pubes or not. You’re superficial like that and I know that because I have met countless guys like you. Don’t act so innocent because I’m specifically targeting you right now.

  6. Bobbi says:

    Messiness should be ignored? I don’t know, but I’m pretty particular about how I like to keep my place. When someone moves in with me or a partner and I sign a lease on a new place, yeah, I like to keep it pretty pristine: especially when those landlords start poking around during a move out and will be overly picky about the slightest things wrong with anything in order to screw you out of your deposit. No, I won’t start flipping out about socks on the floor or whatever like that, but yeah I do expect floors to be washed and vacuumed on a regular basis.

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