A break is always a good thing, as long as it’s taken in the right manner.
Taking some time apart from each other can actually help clear the confusions and frustrations internally, and help both of you focus on your own faults and desires in the relationship.
If both of you love each other, and yet, both of you seem to have a few difficulties coping with a particular issue that’s bringing out the worst, a break from each other may be the need of the hour.
The two kinds of breaks in a relationship
There are two kinds of breaks in love, one that’s good and one that does more harm than good.
#A break that leads to a makeup. Are you genuinely interested in your lover and want to hold the relationship together? If you’re taking some time away to calm down and sort the confusions in your head, it’s a good break to take.
# A break that leads to a breakup. Are you taking a break from the relationship to get away from your partner for a while because you can’t stand them anymore? Do you feel happier being alone than together with your partner? Your relationship may already be falling apart and you may be looking for a weak excuse to end the relationship. [Read: The right way to end a relationship]
Reasons to take a break from the relationship
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t just take a break whenever you want. There are just a couple of reasons to take a break. For everything else, there’s a little thing called a conversation.
# You feel claustrophobic. Men are easily susceptible to this kind of a break. They fiercely protect their own space and go to great lengths to get some alone time by themselves. If you’re feeling silently frustrated by all the together time or if you feel like you have no life of your own, take a break for a few hours or for a weekend.
# You need time to think things over. Are both of you dealing with a relationship crisis right now that can’t be sorted through a conversation, perhaps one of you cheated on the other or did something just as unforgivable? If you need time to reevaluate the relationship, taking a break in the relationship may give you the time to give that a thought. [Read: Signs to tell if you are not in love anymore]
The little breaks all of us take in a relationship
All couples take breaks all the time. It helps us appreciate our partner and also gives us some time to just be ourselves. By learning to take these little breaks now and then, you can eliminate needless frustrations and avoid taking those big scary breaks that can ruin the relationship.
# Going out with your own friends, be it for shopping or to catch a movie.
# Spending some time indulging in a favored activity, reading a book or just watching the television by yourself.
# Little getaways with friends that last a few days or a week.
How long is a good break? – The magic number
This is something that needs serious thought. Both of you have to decide how long the break has to be and both of you have to keep your word to not interfere with each other’s lives until then.
Two weeks is the perfect break in the relationship to sort your issues and come back together for a conversation.
Anything less feels like a little holiday from each other. Anything more and you’ll both end up forgetting each other and get used to living separately *unless that’s what you want*.
But then again, depending on how deep the wound is, you can spend more time apart if you’re willing to risk the relationship status and decide if you want to date someone else. [Read: How to love again after being hurt]
How a break can help both of you come together
While taking a break in the relationship is something that should be avoided unless it’s inevitable, it can at times bring both of you closer for many reasons.
# You’ll miss each other. If you truly love each other, while a break may give the much needed time away from each other, it’ll make you realize just how much both of you need each other and depend on each other. It can also give the relationship a fresh start, romantically and sexually.
# Love is stronger. You’ll realize in a few days that your love for your partner is way more important than any silly confusions or misunderstandings in your lives. Most of the time, it may your egos that create a fight rather than real reasons. [Read: How egos affect the outcome of an affair]
# You’ll be motivated. When you love your partner, you’d definitely care about them. Can you imagine not knowing what’s going on in your partner’s life for more than a few days? It would drive anyone who loves their partner insane. Taking a break from each other will give both of you the motivation to work on the issues so both of you can be with each other again.
# When your relationship is spiraling downwards, taking a break can push both of you apart instead of helping in understanding each other.
# It’s an easy way to run away from nagging conflicts that will always crop up again and again, until it’s inevitably discussed.
# A break is like a really expensive diamond ring. You can only afford a couple in your lifetime. Anymore, and it will ruin both of you.
# It could end the relationship because one of you may genuinely believe you’re better off single even though the relationship has a great chance of working out to perfection. [Read: Do you want to be single again?]
A better alternative to taking a break from a relationship
Communicate. It’s as easy as it gets. Taking a break in love is like a little shot of adrenaline. It keeps you running for a while until it makes you collapse again. The only way to truly make things work in love is to talk to each other. [Read: Tips to communicate better in a relationship]
Talk to each other and learn to be frank. You can be honest, as long as you’re not hammering a nail into your partner’s heart with accusations. Talk about each other’s real wants and hear your partner out without cutting in between, even if they make ridiculous claims or accusations. At the end of the day, you have to remember that your partner loves you and it’s only their pent up frustrations that’s finding a vent.
Taking a break in a relationship may seem like the perfect thing to do when love gets tough. Go ahead and take a break, but if you’re brave enough to try something better, have a truthful conversation instead.
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Kirsten Cole doesn’t like falling in love often. Instead she prefers to hop, skip and jump through her perfect, beautiful life. And of course, if the perfect ...