All of us nag our partners now and then without ever realizing it. Want to know how to stop nagging your partner, knowingly or unknowingly? Here are six ways to ensure that you stop nagging your partner in no time.
Click here to read the introduction to understand the real meaning of nagging and how it starts in the first place.
How to stop nagging
The most annoying and painful thing about nagging is that we never really understand or realize that we’re nagging unless it’s pointed out to us.
And at times, even that won’t make us understand that we’re nagging and we never really try to find ways on how to stop nagging.
But if your partner ever calls you a nag, don’t get huffy and start sulking. Instead, ask yourself if it’s true. And use these pointers to stop nagging and experience a better relationship with your lover.
#1 Understand your partner
Seek to understand your partner.
When two people come together, it could either be a collision or integration of two worlds with two different sets of parental influences, mind-sets, life experiences, values, prejudices et al, not to mention the several layers there is to a person.
Your sweetheart is unique and one of a kind. Explore the magic of his or her being.
Comparisons are a huge deterrent to the progression of your relationship and it is prudent to never compare. If you want to know how to stop nagging, first stop comparing.
Appreciate and accept your partner wholeheartedly. Additionally, trying to look at the issue at hand from your partner’s point of view will help immensely.
Once you learn to empathize, you can really understand. Once you learn to accept a different perspective (that of your loved one), then you can get some perspective to your vehement emotions. If you begin to accuse, then your partner will begin to defend and you are back to square one, or sometimes even out of the game.
#2 Introspect and learn
The values of introspection are many and varied, not just to a person who nags but to every one of us. Introspection can help you take a good critical look at yourself and help you understand why and how to stop nagging.
And once you’ve identified your real motives and face up to it, you’re well on your way to quit being a nag. You can teach yourself to stop by taking small steps. First, by pinpointing flaws in yourself and remedying them, setting a good example and also prioritizing your own needs and demands.
Scale down your nagging on trivial issues to deal with much more vital ones. Spend time analyzing and examining situations that worked in the past and try to replicate them. [Read: Is he the one for you?]
#3 Communicate with your partner
When the same thing is said over and over again, your partner is bound to switch off and you end up sounding like a broken record. On the other hand, sometimes partners are incapable of stating what they want directly and end up nagging or whining, which pushes away the respective spouse.
Effective communication and active listening are skills that will help your marriage grow stronger. You should be able to hear your partner, not just verbally, but at a much more profound level. Also try using polite phrases, “would you” or “could you,” instead of combative or domineering expressions.
Avoid being condemning and critical. If you are too busy defending yourself, you cannot move forward together. Life becomes one big battle as you teeter from one skirmish to another. Instead, pick opportune moments to calmly explain how you feel or to voice your stance with respect to a particular issue. If you want to know how to stop nagging, learn to rationalize the problem, and that will bring you quicker to an amicable solution than emotionalizing it. [Read: Don't want to have sex anymore?]
#4 Positive feedback and motivation
Motivation when done right will go a long way in helping you realize your mutual objectives. You can also motivate your partner by setting a good example yourself by healthy living, replacing things, etc. and by being cheerful.
Never undervalue the strength of positive encouraging feedback. Sometimes, the issue you are nagging about might be particularly difficult to tackle, like giving up smoking for instance, but nothing is impossible if you attempt it together. Discuss workable ideas together. Providing adequate incentives will also help. Rather than forcing your mate to do something you want done, approach the issue inside out, make your partner want to do it. Not as easy or as simple as it sounds, of course, but it is the only way to do it and is definitely worth it.
#5 Be positive
Having a positive attitude instead of a negative or defeatist attitude will inspire your mate to achieve more. Separate the nagging issue from the person and focus on resolving it. Maintaining an atmosphere of happiness is better for you and your mate in the long run. [Read: Long term relationship poll]
#6 Compromise in love
Finally, compromise, the last word in every relationship or as a Gumpism succinctly puts it, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Reduce anxiety and stress levels by learning to adjust and accept differences ‘cos verily variety is the spice of life. Live life with your chosen mate in harmony and understanding. [Read: How to find love]
If you think you may be a nagger and want to know how to stop nagging, try to understand these tips and work on your relationship. And if you think your partner nags you, well, have a frank discussion with them and let your lover know that sweet talk sounds a lot better than angry nagging. [Quiz: Will you be unfaithful?]
It could be you or your partner who needs to know how to stop nagging, but at the end of the day, as long as both of you understand how to avoid nagging in love, you’ll see how beautiful love and life can really be.
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