So you had a successful first date, great! But the hard part isn’t over. These second date rules are what you need to see if they’re the one for you.
Many people think the first date is where all the pressure lies but if we’re being honest here, it’s really the second date. Sure, the first is important to see if you have a connection, but you really figure out if you want to be with someone during the second. And for those reasons, you need to know certain second date rules that can help you determine if they’re the one for you.
Not everyone will make it to a second date, and that’s okay. You may even think you’re hitting it off really well only to have the other person disagree completely. This is normal and it’s a natural part of the dating process.
How to make a great impression on your first date
The very first date you go on is basically for setting up the groundwork. You want to make a great first impression so the other person can see how fun and exciting you are. But that’s not always as easy as it sounds.
You really have to show someone who you are while also ensuring they enjoy themselves. Some tips for doing that would be to keep the conversation light. Stay away from touchy subjects and ask them a lot of questions – particularly about the things they seem to enjoy talking about. With luck, you’ll be on your way to a second date for sure. [Read: First date rules that will guarantee a second date]
Second date rules you need to use if you want to find “the one”
After your first date, you’ve decided if you like the person or not. Now you have to go on a second date that’s more about seeing if they’re a good match for you. It’s all about seeing how compatible the two of you are on the second date.
In order to do this, there are certain rules you should follow. These will help you figure out if the person you’re with is even worth your time and if they can be in a successful relationship with you.
#1 Talk about life goals and views. Now that you’ve already established that you like each other’s personalities, it’s time to dig a little deeper. Normally, these types of topics aren’t really covered on the first date because it should be kept light and fun.
But one of the second date rules you should follow is to talk about more meaningful things in life. Find out their views on different matters and see if they align with yours. It’s a great way to determine if they will be a good match for you long term. [Read: 41 conversation starters for when you want to get serious]
#2 Bring them to a more intimate setting. I’m a firm believer in making the first date public, fun, and not as serious. It sets the groundwork for a great time and a good impression. However, a second date should definitely be more intimate.
Go on a long stroll through a park or even set up a picnic for just the two of you. A more intimate setting can help you see just how deep your chemistry with them runs without any outside influence.
#3 Get a feel for their previous relationships. But don’t directly ask about them. You can’t just up and ask them to tell you about all their past relationships. It’s sometimes a touchy subject that should wait for a third or even fourth date.
However, one of the second date rules that can help you here is to get a feel for what their previous relationships were like. One way to do this is to simply tell a story that included your ex. If they share one about their previous boyfriend or girlfriend, it usually means they didn’t end on bad terms – which is good for you. [Read: How to talk about your past relationships with a new partner]
#4 Open yourself up a little more. I understand just how intimidating first dates can be and they can make you so nervous that you hold back a little. The second date is the time to open up. Share something embarrassing and personal about yourself and see how they react. If they find it endearing, they’re definitely someone worth spending time with.
#5 Be honest with them about how you’re feeling. You’re on a second date. Clearly they like you and you like them. But you can even take it a step further by confirming this. Since communication is the key for any successful relationship, telling them how you feel can help you determine if they’re good with communicating in return. [Read: How to tell someone you like them the honest way]
#6 Make sure they know you’re looking for a relationship. You never know what someone wants out of a first date. However, a second date rule that can help you figure out if they’re serious about a relationship or looking for fun is to just ask them.
Mention that you’re looking for a real relationship and finding someone to share a life with. Tell them you’re over the whole “casual dating” thing and see how they respond.
#7 But don’t talk about being exclusive just yet. Just can’t go around calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend after two dates. Pushing the idea of an exclusive relationship on someone you don’t know all that well doesn’t always go over well. A second date rule for this situation is to just avoid the “official” talk. [Read: How to prevent moving too fast in a new relationship]
#8 Practice chivalry throughout the entire date. Just like your first date, your second date has to be proper and cordial. You still want to show them your good side and in order to do that, you have to be chivalrous.
However, instead of just doing it for fun, do it to see how they appreciate it. Do they say thank you? Or are they just expecting it? This is a huge difference because it can indicate how they would show appreciation in a serious relationship, too. [Read: How to be chivalrous and win them over]
#9 Allow them to see the real you. This second date isn’t just for you to be able to determine if they’re right for you. It’s also an opportunity for them to make the same decision. Therefore, you can’t walk around acting like a different person.
You need to show them who you really are. For the first date, acting a little different was acceptable due to nerves. But the second date is all about you showing your date who you truly are and how you really act. [Read: 12 second date tips to build the perfect romance]
#10 Be charming while also being vulnerable. Peel back your layers. Share a moment of vulnerability with them so they can see a different side of you. How someone responds to your vulnerable side will tell you more than you need to know about how they’ll be in a relationship.
Do they offer support or do they try to avoid the topic altogether? If the latter happens, that’s not the person for you. Someone worth your time will listen intently and offer advice and support in any way they can.