Getting married is a huge deal. You need to be sure you’re with the right person. These questions to ask before marriage will help you know for sure.
You may never be able to tell for SURE if someone is 100% perfect for you. You just have faith that they are and see where the relationship and your life together takes you. But you should be really CLOSE to sure they’re the one you want to spend your life with. These questions to ask before marriage will definitely help you see if they’re good for you or not.
Society expects people to get married
And that’s the reason most people do it. Not because they necessarily believe in marriage and want to spend their life with someone but because it’s expected of them. After a certain age, people start questioning why someone’s not married. That pressure can often make people marry someone they shouldn’t.
Divorce follows closely after relationships like this. But it could’ve easily been prevented by asking a few simple questions. Most of the time, couples may not be able to answer them as confidently as they thought. [Read: 11 things people need to know before getting married]
Questions to ask before marriage
If you’re thinking about getting married, you might want to ask a few questions first. These will help you figure out if the person you’re going to spend your life with is the best one for you.
#1 What type of home is ideal for us? Often times, couples talk a lot about their dream homes and what they’d love to live in, but they don’t actually talk about what’s ideal or realistic for them.
What type of home do you both want? Is it something big with a lot of extra space or something a little more compact and cheap so you can spend more money on adventures and travel? With something like this, you have to discuss it. [Read: 14 reasons men envy the stay at home wife]
#2 What percentage of our income do we want to spend on housing per month? Money is a huge deal. Many couples end their marriage because of issues with their finances. It’s important to understand ahead of time how much you’re willing to spend on housing. You’ll figure out if you both have similar ideas this way.
#3 Who’s responsible for lawn/yard care and who’s responsible for indoors? Have you ever discussed this? If you’re already living in a house together, you may have already figured this out but if not, you better start talking about it. If both of you hates outdoor work, you might run into issues together with owning a house that has a lot of lawn. [Read: 8 practical things to do before moving in together]
#4 What type of morals and values are most important to instill in kids? You already know you want to have good kids. Everyone does. But what are the main things you want to make sure your children grow to value? What morals will you work hard to instill in them?
If you both don’t have an agreement here, things could get really difficult when you eventually do have kids together. So make sure there’s a clear understanding and you agree before you marry them.
#5 What type of savings and retirement plan do we want? You have to talk about money. Money is a super important part of a marriage, even though none of us want to believe it. You have to plan for retirement and plan for it TOGETHER. What does each of you want when you retire?
#6 What do our career goals look like in five years? Do you both have solid plans for your careers? Now talk to each other about those things and see if they work well together. Obviously, you both want to encourage and support the other but you also have to make sure your goals are lined up.
If one of you wants to become CEO someday and the other is fine where they are, there will be problems. You might not be as right for each other as you think.
#7 What do our family goals look like in five years? Believe it or not, many people don’t often look at these two goals side by side. Do both of your career goals align with both of your goals for when you want to start a family? You can’t be a CEO in five years and expect to also start a family in two.
#8 How’s the sex? Be real about it, too. Are you both satisfied and happy with your sex life? If you’re having issues now, you need to get them taken care of or admit that you’re not sexually compatible and therefore, shouldn’t get married. Sex plays a major role in a healthy relationship and if you can’t make that work, they’re not for you. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 naughty ways]
#9 Do we have healthy communication now? Think about how well you communicate. Is it great? Do you have an easy time talking about things and ironing them out? If so, that’s great! If not, you may want to talk about finding better ways to communicate or face the fact that you may not be right for each other.
#10 How do we plan to keep the romance alive in the relationship down the road? Contrary to what many believe, marriage isn’t the one thing that makes romance and sex fizzle out. However, starting a family does. The time constraint and the stress of a baby and children often puts the parent’s romantic and sexual needs a lesser priority.
But it’s still super important to maintain. You both have to figure out the best ways you can keep that level of intimacy alive. Talk about your plans and what both of you would want if things start to get stale. It could save your relationship down the road or help you realize you could never make it last with that person. [Read: 9 effective ways to keep the romance alive when you have kids]
#11 What type of lifestyle do we want to have? This is in regards to being fit and active along with what you’ll be eating and how healthy you want to be in life. You might have some things in common but if you want to have a very strict, healthy lifestyle but your partner would rather eat whatever they want, it’s going to cause problems.
You may argue that you know how they like to live their life but what are their goals with their lifestyle? Do they want to improve and become healthier as they age or do they not really care so much about if they’re getting the right nutrients? These things make a huge difference in a marriage.
#12 Are you both ready to work really hard for love? Love isn’t easy. Being in love with someone can be simple but maintaining that love and showing that appreciation day after day is not. It’s a lot of work. You have to both be willing to put forth that effort for the rest of your life. If one of you is not ready, the entire marriage won’t work.
Getting married is a big deal and you have to treat it as such. Knowing the right questions to ask before marriage can prevent you from making a life-altering mistake. Make sure you’re going to be with the right person for forever.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...