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Lover with a Wandering Eye? How to Put a Stop to their Ogling

wandering eye

There is nothing that makes someone feel more insecure than being with a partner who has a wandering eye. Confront it and be done with it!

A wandering eye is when you are with someone supposedly with you, but yet, they can’t seem to keep both eyes on you. Everything else that walks by looks more interesting and desirable compared to you.

It isn’t your fault, and you can’t take it personally. A mate who can’t be respectful enough to keep their wandering eye back where they belong *on you* doesn’t deserve you, period.

Stop the wandering eye or turn it loose to look elsewhere

There is no reason anyone has the right to be with someone and disrespectful enough to look around. You don’t have to put up with it. There isn’t anything lacking in you. You can’t let their wandering eye strip you of your self-esteem. You are worthy of someone who has all eyes focused on the person they love most. If their gaze is that easily set off course, their heart probably is too.

The only way to deal with a wandering eye is either to confront, ignore, or get away from it. If it bothers you—don’t put up with it. You will find someone respectful enough not to look away. We all have a tendency to admire beautiful things that cross our path, but we also all control it. If your partner isn’t willing to, it speaks volumes about who they are and what you mean to them. [Read: Does your man constantly stare at other women?]

#1 Try explaining it hurts you. Sometimes people don’t even know they have a wandering eye. Habits run deep. It truly might not mean anything disrespectful. There is a good probability that they don’t even know they are doing it.

Like when you see someone in a wheelchair, or an accident just happens, you don’t catch yourself gaping until it is too late and the damage is done. Before you make assumptions about why they have a wandering eye, let them know it isn’t cool in your book. It makes you feel disrespected and see what they say. [Read: The 10 telling signs you need relationship counseling]

#2 Don’t let it hurt you. If you put it out there that you feel uncomfortable with their wandering eye and it continues, it doesn’t help to get mad about it. Once you make an issue out of something and they don’t care, then it becomes your Achilles heel.

Perhaps if you stopped noticing all together and looked the other way, they realize that it isn’t getting to you and stop. Maybe it is their way of gaining power over you, and if you just ignore it, it will stop.

Whether or not it does, getting upset about it and ruining a night isn’t helping anything. The only one’s behavior you can change is your own. Stop reacting to their wandering eye and see if that helps. [Read: Why do people in happy relationships still cheat?]

#3 Accept it as part of their personality. Some people just like beautiful things. You can’t help that. The thing about someone with wandering eye is that if you feel secure in the way they feel about you and okay with your relationship, then you wouldn’t care about what they look at because you would know you are the one they choose, period.

But if you can’t stop their wandering eye, and still think they are worth holding out for, accept it is just a part of who they are. People with attention deficit disorder and other focus problems are notorious for possessing a wandering eye.

So, maybe stop thinking they look for someone else and just realize it is a part of who they are. If you love someone, you must love all of them, even their inability to keep eyes on you. [Read: 14 steps to communicate well and find a better love]

#4 Give them a taste of their own medicine. If the wandering eye thing really harms your relationship and they aren’t willing to change, it is time to give them a taste of their own medicine. The next time some hot girl or guy walks past, make it super noticeable that you ogle them.

If they don’t even notice, take that as your sign they don’t intend to hurt you. They don’t see it as a bad thing. If they get insecure and upset, they see how it feels to be on the receiving end of a wandering eye.

#5 Be the one they want to focus on. I am not trying to blame the victim at all. But, if you want the wandering eye to stop, it might take some pizzazz and engagement on your part. If you are the most stunning and positive you possible, they will stop looking around for something to focus on.

Constantly bitching about them looking at other people isn’t drawing them close to you. It might be the very thing driving them to look the other way. If you are something special to focus on, they will focus on you instead. [Read: How to drive your lover nuts with passion]

#6 Walk away. If all else fails and it creates a huge rift in your relationship, it is time to draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough. If they can’t stop their wandering ways and it causes fights, makes you feel insecure, or just generally makes going out with them not fun, walk away. [Read: 15 signs it might be time to break up]

You find out quickly what those wandering eyes meant if they either let you walk or a promise to turn it around. Either way, don’t stay with someone willingly hurting you. If they don’t care enough to stop doing the thing that robs you of your security, it isn’t love anyway.

There is nothing worse than being with someone who seemingly sees everyone in the room but you. A wandering eye doesn’t always mean the person you are with looks to trade up. But, sometimes their intentions don’t matter. If what they do hurts you and they don’t care enough to change their ways, it is either time to accept it as a part of who they are or to give them an ultimatum and be prepared to walk.

[Read: How to get rid of your partner’s wandering eyes for good]

A wandering eye is disrespectful and not cool. So, if you can’t get your significant other to keep all eyes on you, set their eyes free to find what it is that they really want. And you keep your self-esteem intact.

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Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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