Love addiction is no different from any other type of addiction. The love addict will do just about anything to hold onto the person they “love.”
A couple of weeks ago I answered the question whether you could be addicted to love. My answer was “yes, absolutely!” A love addict is someone who is literally addicted to the feeling of love. Even if they aren’t in it, they convince themselves that they are because they need love like they need breathing.
So, what are the signs that someone is a love addict? There are all sorts of signs that you might be a love addict. Usually, love addiction stems from past negative experiences such as the loss of a loved one or the abuse of the primary caregiver.
10 feelings a love addict experiences all the time
Constantly looking for love and approval, the love addict holds unrealistic expectations that the one they love should provide them support, unconditional love, and positive regard, always. If that doesn’t happen, love addicts feel the same withdrawal symptoms as any other addict would.
#1 You fall instantly head over heels, every time. If you find you are in love more than you are ever out of it, then you might be addicted to love. Love addicts grow close super soon in a relationship. Although, typically fine when on their own, the minute they think they found love, they become helpless and lose all ability to stand on their own. [Read: Why it’s healthy to date multiple people]
#2 You are a hopeless romantic in your own life even when it isn’t real. Someone addicted to love doesn’t see that love isn’t about sunshine and flowers all the time.
Having an unrealistic expectation about how someone should love and treat you, if the person you believe you are in love with doesn’t behave exactly as you want and expect, you experience extreme fear and anxiety.
#3 You stay with someone even if you aren’t happy. When you are a love addict, you don’t care about the consequences of your relationship. People addicted to love stay in relationships no matter how bad they are. They lose themselves and their self-esteem, surrendering it unconsciously to the person they “love.”
#4 You don’t want the person you are with, you need the person you are with. There is a difference between being in love and wanting to be with the person you are with and needing to be with the person you are with.
If you find the mere thought of losing the person you “love” sends you into severe anxiety and fear, you are addicted to being in love instead of being in any real relationship.
#5 You are a serial monogamist. A love addict wants to feel feelings of love. They are fine when they are on their own, but that typically doesn’t last very long. Constantly looking for love, support, and acceptance, at the first hint they might have it, they willingly give up everything and connect immediately.
#6 Your idea of love is everyone else’s idea of infatuation. The love addict’s experience of love isn’t normal. It is an infatuation or an obsession. It overtakes pretty much everything in the love addict’s life.
They give up their friends, money, anything really that they have to give, just to stay in their current relationship. Needing it like a drug addict needs drugs, love is extreme and dangerous to someone addicted to love. [Read: 15 signs you’re infatuated and not in love]
#7 You put way too much energy into your relationship. Love addiction isn’t different from any other kind of addiction. It leaves you constantly thinking about your next high. Where it will come from always preoccupies along with the thought of getting love, gaining approval, and having unconditional acceptance.
If all you can talk about is the person you love, have no other hobbies, and really can’t think about anything but them, then you just might be a love addict. It is normal to think about the person you love, but not to spend all your waking moments thinking about them and your relationship with them.
#8 You stop thinking you can live without your significant other. When a love addict finds love, they think they can’t live without the person they love. The worst possible thing they imagine is not having the love they are addicted to.
It soon becomes tantamount to breathing. Suddenly someone gives up all that they are to maintain a love affair with another person.
#9 You mistake intensity in your relationship with intimacy. Love addicts confuse the feelings of intensity with intimacy. That makes for a seriously dangerous relationship. When a love addict mistakes intensity for intimacy, if they feel they are losing the person they love, they create unimaginable intensity to feel close to them.
That is why most love addicts are in tumultuous relationships. There is no downtime. A cycle of love, fear, and then explosion to find feelings of intensity, it drains like the cycle of any drug habit. [Read: 12 signs your fierce feelings are unhealthy]
#10 You have an extreme fear of losing the one you love. Most of us in relationships with others are afraid of losing the person we love. But for a love addict, that fear is about two thousand times greater.
Loss is about all they think about. If they aren’t feeling feelings of complete elation, then they search to find feelings of love and intensity. It is easy to see how love addiction destroys someone.
No two love relationships are the same. If you find you are in a relationship where all you think about is the other person, you sacrifice all you have not to lose them, and you think you simply can’t exist without them, then you just might be a love addict.
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