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Long Distance Relationships – How to Make It Work

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Long distance relationships are one of the trickiest relationships in the world of dating and love. It can be a breeze, or it can be the worst. Find out how to make a long distance relationship work in your favor.

long distance relationship - how to make it work

Have you ever experienced the freedom and the annoyance of a long distance relationship?

It’s just not easy, and it needs a lot of effort.

But at times, it’s also inevitable. We can’t always stay together and at times, love has to be separated, even if only for a while.

If you’re facing a prospective long distance relationship and are wondering how to handle it or even get through it, here’s everything you need to know.

How to make a long distance relationship work

Firstly, have a frank discussion with your sweetheart. What do you guys want to do about it?

Do you want to put your relationship on hold until you’re both within the same pin code or do you want to take a chance with long distance dating?

Remember, you won’t really have a perfect relationship when you’re hundreds or thousands of miles away from each other.

So if you really do think that both of you are perfect for each other, give it a go.

But if you’re not really convinced by long distance love or the dearth of sexual intimacy, let your point be known.

But all said and done, if true love wins and both of you are here for the long haul, use these tips on holding a long distance relationship together even when you’re both miles apart and you’ll be able to make it work.

Talk often, more than you ever have

Both of you can’t really meet every evening or even every week anymore. So there’s just no communication and small talk. And every great relationship needs that. Spend more time talking to each other and keep each other in the loop about your lives. Unless either of you get annoyed with regular calls, speak often with each other. And don’t skip out all those little intimate details like what you had for dinner, what color is your underwear and which side of your bed you’re facing.

After all, if you can’t take a peek into each other’s lives, the next best thing to keep love alive is to hear about every intimate detail. [Read: How to keep love alive in simple ways]

Get some face to face time

While emotional intimacy is paramount for a successful relationship, a bit of face time can do wonders too. Get on the webcam, drop a few love notes off occasionally for each other, send pictures of each other doing crazy things (just not nude crazy things), and make a point to get on skype and take a good look at each other at least a few times a week. An occasional peek of privates when you’re sure no one’s around can help too! [Read: Should you take naked pictures?]

Meet as frequently as possible

It may be hard to meet often if you’re on an expedition in the Amazon or living a thousand miles away, but no matter what the distance, try to schedule a prospective date to meet. And try to meet as often as you both can.

When you fix a date for the next meeting, it’ll keep the excitement alive even if the meeting is several months away. And as long as both of you take an initiative to meet up, both of you will feel good about it.

Don’t be jealous

If you want to make a long distance relationship work, hammer this into your head. Somehow, most lovers have the most trouble handling this little thing called jealousy.

Let’s face it, you know your partner is hot stuff. And you can’t really do anything if someone else is hitting on them, or if you hear a few rumors that your mate’s dating someone else or if you read a “last night was fun!” message on your lover’s facebook wall. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship]

Stop yourself from getting jealous, this is your sweetheart we’re talking about. This person is all yours and no one else’s. It’s easy to get worked up over nothing, so take it easy and wait for your partner to tell you all about it and have a laugh!

Learn to trust your partner and help your partner trust you

Long distance relationships can be more painful than fun if your partner’s someone who’s always attracted a lot of attention. But the one thing that matters here is the big question, do you trust your partner?

On the other hand, help your partner trust you and believe you. Always be frank and talk about every little incident so your partner never feels like they’re left out of the loop. And don’t call your partner when you’ve got giggling or noisy friends over. If there’s a weird message on your facebook wall, reply it in a manner that can clear the air for your long distance lover. [Read: How to build trust in love]

Always give your lover enough time over phone or skype and make them feel special and cared for. Losing trust in the relationship is one of the biggest reasons why lovers break up in a long distance relationship. And almost always, it’s usually a misunderstanding that triggers the lack of trust. So tread carefully on this one.

You can’t always be there for your partner emotionally

As helpless as you may seem, you need to get this into your head. You can’t always be there for your lover. When your partner does feel low or is having a bad day, all you can do is talk about it and ask your sweetheart to go out with a few friends and have some fun. Do just that.

But don’t get annoyed or pissed off that your partner’s out with their friends and god-knows-who-else. It’s a part of long distance relationship and loving from far away. You can’t help your lover or be there for them all the time. You’re two lovers who love each other but can’t be there physically for each other, at least for a while. Either of you should understand that, or one of you may end up disconnecting emotionally because the other person is of no help.

Your partner will make new friends *some attractive ones too*

Okay, so deal with it. You aren’t around to show the world that you own your lover, so there really isn’t anything you can do about it other than trust your partner. You have to understand that both of you are leading separate lives, and both of you are going to meet new friends. And at times, a new friend may be attractive, and at other times, a new friend may have a crush on your lover. [Read: Is it love or lust?]

But all these things are natural, and you should learn to take them in your stride. You may be in a long distance relationship, but your partner does love you and only you. Learn to trust your partner even if you’re having doubts about it. Making friends and meeting new people is natural and inevitable. And your lover is not going to have an affair with every new person they meet, so learn to calm your little heart.

[Read: More than friends - The signs]

Reassure each other of your love

Every now and then, reassure your partner and promise to stay loyal. You never know when your partner’s feeling insecure or anxious. By reminding your lover just how much you love them and how good it feels to talk to them, you’ll reassure your lover and help them cope with the long distance relationship. And learn to expect the same reassurance from your partner too.

Get naughty when you can

Love getting on skype or over the phone with your lover late at night? Well, turn up the heat now and then. One of the biggest pains of a long distance relationship is the lack of sexual intimacy. So work on that when both of you have the time. Have a few naughty conversations or work a pole. Do whatever turns each of you on and bring that sexual intimacy back into your long distance love. And if it’s safe, send a few of your clothes over too. Your partner will miss you more, want you more, and will love you more!

Learn to forgive and forget

You’ve heard this before and there’s a chance that you’ll hear it again. Shit happens. Separated lovers can feel rather lonely at times, and with temptation all around it’s easy to stray even if you don’t want to. Mistakes do happen, and it can be completely circumstantial. If your relationship ever experiences a painful mistake, learn to get over it. Sometimes, it’s not anyone’s fault unless one of you intentionally cheated on the other. [Read: Should you ever confess to cheating?]

Value your relationship and avoid temptations. Always remember that a mistake can feel good while it lasts, but it’ll never feel good once you’ve snapped out of it. And it may end your relationship or haunt both of you forever. If you do want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn to resist temptation and learn to forgive and forget. It’s one of the banes of a long distance relationship.

[Quiz: Would you cheat on your partner?]

Experiencing a long distance relationship isn’t easy. But once you’re back together in each other’s arms, you’ll realize how much both of you mean to each other, to survive the test of time and distance amidst all the temptation.


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Have your say!
  • Meme
    November 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    I’m in a long distance relationship, it’s been 8 months now, and so far it’s going great. A lot of this is really good advice, wish I’d read it sooner. We see each other about once a month, the only time I start getting a little crazy is when it’s been almost that long and I don’t know for sure when the next meeting will be. The reunions are wonderful, and make all the waiting worth it. The exquisite pain of missing him is more than offset by the joy of seeing his smile again.

    We do talk on the phone daily, at a set time, and have almost since our first meeting. It wasn’t something either of us insisted on, it just happened that way. If the guy can’t make time for that, for at least a short conversation, he just isn’t that into you, sorry. Communication is essential to any relationship, if you don’t have that you’re just deluding yourself.

    I’ve been through the paranoid stage already, I pretty much kept it to myself, worked out in my own mind whether I had anything to be concerned about. For now I believe he does love me, he proves it constantly, and if it turns out I’m wrong, well, it’s been a good time anyway.

    It’s important to take it easy and enjoy your time together, and to have a life so you’re not spending all your time apart obsessing about him (after the first few weeks anyway!) Only if you are secure enough in yourself to know you can survive if it doesn’t work out, can you sustain any kind of relationship, but especially a long distance one. Putting too much pressure on a man to constantly reassure you is something only the most needy man will put up with, and who wants one of those?

    We do share our hopes and dreams, and we both want to be together for good some day. I do hope it will happen, but if it doesn’t and it must end, I know we will part as friends, and that will be a first for me!

  • hangon
    November 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    If you have a man in a long distance relationship who faithfuly talks to you and during reunions makes the moments you have together count then you have an amazing man. So no matter how lonely or tempting it gets to try another guy ,don’t, in the long run it will be worth it. If you are in a long distance relationship it shows that you both have strong character. Hang on, things can only get better.

  • Pleased
    November 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    Wonderfully written!!

  • horny
    November 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    OMG I am feeling so horny 2day!! LDR is not for everyone. Believe me its difficult. It’s really hard to stay together wen you are far away from your love. But fortunately there is internet andphones, which help you to keep on touch with your sweetheart. It’s amayzing to wake up in the morning and receive a text msg from you bf who lives 50000 miles away that he still loves you! That’s a best moment of your day. I and my love meet each other when I was in US for during the whole summer. We had wonderful time together and I felt in love and he did too. We are still together, and we hope to be together soon. We trust each other and have really warm and sweet relations… We will be together soon and we’ll be happy together!!!

  • fingerscrossed
    November 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    I’ve been in love with a man for 15 years. We’ve know each other since we were kids. The past 2 years we’ve been together and has recently been accepted to work and live in japan for 1 year. We have decided to try and make a LDR work. he leaves in seven days. He’s been living with me for a while now, and spending EVERY WAKING moment with him is bitter sweet. Im going to miss our time together and do fear for that “phone call” or even the drift. We’ve expressed our dreams together and want nothing more than to get married and have a family when hes back. Im going to miss him.. alot. and i know the first couple of months will be very hard esp. with the time difference. all we can do is try, and I know, and he knows that this love is something real and true then a year from now, our dreams will come true.

  • May 21, 2012 | Permalink |

    They say, communication is the bridge of a relationship. Long distance relationship is not easy and sometimes it’s easy to be destroyed because your not seeing each other but if you really love your partner you can avoid separation. Love and trust are the most important in relationship.

  • Meme
    September 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    I do not agree with the “forgive and forget” part of this article. Cheating IS cheating no matter the situation. That’s like saying, if your husband/wife goes off to Iraq, or gets stationed where a spouse isn’t allowed, that it’s OKAY to cheat. Lol. That’s ridiculous. Cheating is never okay in ANY situation. It’s unforgivable.

  • March 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have been in a long distance relationship for almost 5 months now and we have been happy as ever. It can be a bit challenging when it comes down to talking to them on the phone. But other than that our relationship is amazing. We text 24/7. He is the one for me and I’m the one for him.

  • Mary
    April 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have been in touch with a man via email for about a month or so. He lives in California and me I am in Tennessee, but I manage to email him everyday, and he does reply to each of the emails, sometimes as much as 17 emails in a day. Long distance is hard, but not impossible (or at least that is what I told him once, when he said that he could see problems with the long distance), he has never mentioned it again. :) I believe you have to go the extra mile to make sure he is involved in every aspect of your life.
    I have not meet this man, nor heard his voice but one day soon we will meet. I will be moving and he said he will come to wherever I am at.
    Maybe it is me, but I want to take things real slow I like the flirting and at the same time it is nice to know that he is there if nothing else but just in an email.
    For you that maybe an astrologer he is a Libra and I am a Gemini.

  • Maxwell
    May 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    thank you for the advice i think i was going wrong do all the things that i almost lose my sweetheart i truly love her so much thank you i will go for the advice. thank you

  • Malpy
    June 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    I met a wonderful man were far apart we always chat,he said he will come for to meet him, its real hard LDR he made me break up with my boyfriend because he real care for me.

  • Oriana
    September 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    Im in the military and my boyfriend is back home. Its hard.. I miss him every day and sometimes he is all I think about. Even though we are still apart I fall more in love with him every single day. I love him more then anything. Long distance relationships are the strongest if you can get through it and when were together its like we never parted.

  • LDR ..it works!!!
    December 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    Frndz it do works…but you need to trust eachother to the extreams…but yea before you go for ldr make sure he is your potential THE ONE. I am having ldr with a wonderfull and awesome :* guy :* since four years

    IT WORKS!!!!!!
    I know its hard when you are not together 24*7 But you can always talk on phone or text maybe mail eachother..In my case we both are engineering and its very difficult to spare time but we dont text every now and then and talk on for 2-3 hours in peace. We even meet
    1s in every one or two months.
    You should take the loneliness and freedom you get in a positive way by using this time to pursue your dreams,goals and spend time with your friends ..I know I sound more like career guide but come on who does not need good career.
    Moreover to be frank Its just a notion that to make ldr work you need sex..believe me..*needless to say we both are still virgin* well..’lot’ of naughty flirting and phone sex and lil bit of physical intimacy do helps a lot.
    LDR is what you say maintaining proper balance of freedom and loneliness.
    Be frank and true.
    I WOULD NOT TRADE A HIM EVEN FOR THE WORLD.

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