Relationships can be confusing.
Sometimes it needs a lot of togetherness. And at some other times, relationships need space to grow.
Knowing how to give space in a relationship, and yet stay together is an art that every couple needs to learn.
Managing these perfectly is the difference between a perfect relationship and an imperfect one.
How to give space in a relationship
Happily ever after… This is where the story ends, the curtain comes down, the screen flickers and the credits roll.
But where the fairytale ends, life begins.
But seriously how happy is ‘happily ever after’? How real is the reel life that glorifies just attaining the girl or the guy? Life is so much more. It is also about keeping it together.
So you’ve found your prince charming, or won the hand of the lovely maiden.
But continuing to live happily after the fairy tale ends is another story.
And unless you pay attention to your relationship, you’ll realize that there’s a thin line that prevents a happy fairy tale from becoming a tragic tale.
Why do we need space in a relationship?
The best moments of our lives are the ones we’ve shared with someone special. Some of the happiest memories you may have usually involves a loved one. Life is always great if you have a special someone to share it with. But then again, too much togetherness can ruin a perfect relationship too. Keeping a relationship alive needs memories and special moments. As much as it may be a couple thing, you need individual memories and special moments too. To keep a relationship fresh and exciting, you need to experience things separately and then come together. This can certainly make you relish your togetherness more. [Read: Cute pet names for lovers]
Everybody needs space, and you need to know how to give space in a relationship and accept space, even if only to take a breath. You can’t be locked in a kiss forever. You have to come up for air. Love needs space to grow.
Even saplings have to be planted with adequate space between them if they have to take a firm root and grow strong. And when they grow, their branches may intermingle to provide shade and beauty, but their roots still need space.
The need for space in love
To have a perfect relationship with your partner, you and your partner need to understand how to give space in a relationship.
By doing that, you can also avoid the pain of having to hear your loved one say the words that seem to ring like the death knell to your relationship, “I want my space!”
But even if you ever heard your partner say that, don’t press the panic button yet. “I want some time alone”, or “I need some space”, or “I need to focus on my career”, are normal and valid cries for help and not cries of rejection.
Your partner may be screaming for space in a relationship, even if they don’t say it out loud. Does your partner enjoying doing things by themselves, or do they prefer doing something together, with you? That could reveal a lot about your partner’s personality and how independent they are. [Read: How to be happy in life]
Balancing and giving space in a relationship
If you are in a relationship where both of your needs for intimacy are at different levels, you’ve got some serious balancing to do. Increasing intimacy in the relationship is necessary, but when a man and a woman come together in a relationship and start a life together, they give up their single lives as they have known it and start a new life where they are no more separate but one in the eyes of everyone, including the law.
During the honeymoon period of a relationship, the couple can insulate themselves from the world and cozy up together. But they have to come back to the real world and deal with their own issues and lives soon. And this time, they have a partner around them all the time. [Read: Love at first sight – How it works]
Moreover, no two people share the same need for togetherness. Neither would they require the same levels or intensity of intimacy. Balancing space in a relationship is an art, as fostering intimacy requires both togetherness as well as separateness.
Knowing how to give space may be extremely difficult, especially at the beginning. But considering the stakes and what you may stand to lose, you should train yourself to become adept at this art. If this is not rightly balanced out, one person becomes uncaring or unemotional and the other person becomes needy or clingy in love.
Being close to each other and spending time is important, but to come closer and become better individuals, you have to understand that relationships need space to grow and bloom. [Read: Cheating in a relationship]
Giving space and living better lives
We love spending time with our partners, but there are always times in every relationship when we just need to give some space to help each other grow as individuals.
As close as both of you may be, sometimes too much of a good thing isn’t such a great thing. The first step in learning to step back is to remind oneself what we stand to lose, our own individuality. Knowing how to give space in a relationship can help you balance your together time and your own individuality.
Spending all the time together can bring both of you close, but can damage your individuality. By sharing all the activities, you don’t really know what you or your partner enjoys doing, nor can you both evolve in your own paths as better lovers and people. You may not be trapped in love, but you’d stagnate and have nothing new to offer.
True love is blind, some say, but true love too can get boring over the years if neither of the partners have nothing new or unique to share. And the closer you get to your partner, the more of your individuality you will lose. Spend every single day with your lover, but spare a day or a few hours for yourself in a week, and do what you enjoy doing. [Read: What matters most in long term relationships?]
Giving too much space in a relationship
Can there be something as giving too much space in relationships? Definitely! The dangers of too much space cannot be highlighted enough. Too much space would entail both or one partner filling their lives to the brim with other things and not maintaining a sense of connection.
This is a relationship that would soon be devoid of emotional intimacy, or this would leave one partner with feelings of being taken for granted and not cherished enough.
By understanding how to give space, beware of doing things that will destroy the relationship, like forgetting important dates, coming home late often, or ignoring your partner’s plea to spend time and hold the relationship together.
So what’s the perfect balance in giving space?
There is no perfect formula here. But the idea is simple, spend as much time as you want with your partner and let your partner do the same. But at the same time, ask yourself what you’ve done by yourself during the week. As long as you still have your own individuality and don’t need your partner around all the time to help you or keep you occupied, life is good. [Read: Dating facts]
Let go of that tightening hold on your partner who may be gasping for space in the relationship, and focus on strengthening yourself. Learn to find your happiness within you, because ultimately you are responsible for finding your own happiness.
By learning how to give space in a relationship, you’d learn to keep the excitement alive by becoming a better individual with your own special qualities and memories. And as long as you have something new to share with your lover, your relationship will stay happy and exciting!
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