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How to Deal with Arguments in a Relationship

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Conflicts in relationships can arise for the smallest of reasons, but there’s a simple way to avoid hurting a partner emotionally. Find out how to deal with arguments in a relationship, by looking within.

how to deal with arguments in a relationship

Do you end up arguing with your lover for the smallest of reasons?

It may be no one’s fault or both your faults.

But you really need to understand that arguments in a relationship doesn’t make one of you win, but actually makes both of you lose in love.

If you really want to know how to deal with arguments in a relationship, you need to look right into the problem.

Arguments in love

Each couple is unique, and each partner has their own way of arguing in a relationship.

Find out what kind of a arguer you are, and we’ll show you how you can make small changes and have a happier relationship, with few conflicts and fewer  painful moments.

Find out what type of a fault picker you are and how to deal with arguments in love by clicking here to read the first few types of arguments in a relationship and how you can stop fighting in a relationship.

THE TOUCHE MATE

If you’re this sort of a fighter, you are completely in control. Whoa! And you’re the one making your partner lose their cool (all the time) by hitting your mate’s exact nerve point. Brrr… and they enter into a shivering fit, a.k.a. the angry mode.

If your partner is not the shivering type, then they’re probably the ones that throw back tantrums. Well, you know your partner best. So stay off the touché issues and stop trying to make them stay on guard each time they’re around you.

How to deal with it

If you know what would put your partner on guard, then stay a mile away from their sensitive issues and refrain from using those tactics. It would slowly deteriorate your relationship if all you do is rant about their irritable bowel syndrome or how they crashed the car years ago. You love your partner, so why would you want to take them to a level of hurt and anger.

The spider dude taught you this one, with great power comes great responsibility. We’re teaching you this one, with great love comes great respect. So hold your breath the next time you decide to tug a sensitive chord.

THE DRIFTER

This kind of an arguer starts off with a waiting game. You’re waiting for your mate, who was supposed to be there a good hour ago. You think your mate doesn’t respect you and is taking you for granted. And in steps your mate, late, flustered and in haste. Your partner smiles at you. You cold shoulder that. A hug comes on its way towards you. You sidestep it.

The conversation, we mean, the argument begins. You missed an appointment with your beautician or an hour out with your pals, or perhaps a movie.

The apologies come on its way. Your cold shoulder is way too cold for the apologies to penetrate through. And what happens next, we all know the story. Before any explanations come through, you start your lashing.

How to deal with it

Before your mate could even rationalize, you’re all out with the words game. “You do this all the time…”, “I missed my appointment…” and more blah and then, blah again. And then, out of nowhere, your ride starts drifting. “You haven’t done the dishes…”, “You cheated on me three years ago…”, and more prehistoric blah and blah. And then, it goes on and on. You start from one topic and drift faster than Sean Boswell in Tokyo Drift.

By the end of it all, you’re both sulking and huffy. And who won? Heck, does it even matter anymore. You hate each other. So why hit the drift in the first place?

THE MIND READER

We’re not bungling with soothsayers, we’re messing on psycho turf here. Ever come home to say “hi” to your matey-sweetie, and imagine a little roll of the eye?

Or remember the last time you wanted to make a Chocolate Brule but ended up making a terrible inedible version of the Mississippi Mud Pie? Did you hear that snigger behind your back, or that “that’s gross” look on your sweetheart’s face? Before you feel all unappreciated and go on a rampage trying to knock your sweetheart’s face with a frying pan, hold your breath. Count to ten. [Read: How to be happy in life]

How to deal with it

Hey, shit happens. And sometimes, you create it. If you find yourself getting all flustered up over a ‘roll of the eyes’, wait a minute before you pop that eye out.

If you feel hurt by something that your mate’s done, just mention it right then. “You piece of excreta, you’re driving me nuckin’ futs!” is an absolute no no. Instead, a “Honey, did you just roll your eyes at me? Please don’t do that, it hurts me” is aww-so-chweet. And at times, you might just be imagining your mate’s making funny faces behind your back. So before you spin your head 360 degrees a la Evil Dead style, ask away. [Read: How to find love]

All of us will invariably find ourselves in at least one of these types, and all of use these petty tactics to win an argument with our partner. [Read: Dating facts]

But really, if you can deal with arguments in a relationship and avoid the conflict in the first place, wouldn’t the world and your relationship be a better place to be in?

It’s easy to start an argument, but no one really likes the pain. Not you, and not your partner. So now that you know how to deal with arguments in a relationship, try to play nice!


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Have your say!
  • November 23, 2010 | Permalink |

    To keep relationship going one must submit in a relationship to avoid arguments. Better respect each one’s opinion and let anger tone down to avoid hurting each feelings.

  • Emily Park
    May 30, 2011 | Permalink |

    The first thing to accept is that couple will argue, if you talk sooner of later you will disagree. I am in my fifties now and experience has shown me that you have to make compromises its not always about me. Learn to understand your partners needs and arguements will be resolved

  • Kader
    February 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    I wish my girlfriend would read articles like this one, I always read on how to improve my relationship with her but she is very archaic “traditional”. she believes a man should stay with her no matter what.
    make a long story short ,we have been together for almost 3 years and we are both in the military, we use to argue a lot so i convinced her to join the military , thinking that may be she would understand military life and change a bit but the true is, she has gotten worse. she constantly accuses of cheating on her, every time she misses on the phone i was having sex with a girl, or worse yet I’m on the plane to see another woman. I don’t really like arguments but nowadays i find myself being angry and defensive at every little accusations because otherwise she would kill me with her words.
    The irony of all this is that I’m always wrong no matter what I do, I have helped her many times and she can never repay me back which I’m not asking for because I love her. It’s been a week since we broken up and the time off has allowed to think and now I have realized that she was actually abusive. The day we broke up, she called me 4 times and every time I answered the phone thinking she has some constructive things to say but everything that came out of her mouth was all negative , she called me names i.e I’m cursed, she regrets ever having sex with me and that I will through hell and heavens to find her just to be friends.

    Frankly I’m glad all this over, perhaps she will find her prince and I hopefully will find a girl who understands me. Thanks for your article, I don’t really comment on anything on the web but this my token of appreciation and gratitude to all the authors, bloggers, and commentators that spend their hard earn time trying to heal the broken hearts or help people work out their differences in relationships.

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