Effective communication in a relationship can make all the difference between a happy relationship and a failed one. Find out what communication really means in love and how you can communicate better in a relationship.
For a relationship to be successful, you need to understand how to communicate with each other and understand each other.
Effective communication in a relationship, just like trust, can help both of you understand each other better and share a better relationship.
Click here to read the introduction on how to build trust in a relationship to read this feature from the beginning.
Communication in a relationship
For a relationship to grow and evolve, both partners have to learn to communicate with each other. One of the biggest reasons behind the failure of several relationships is communication.
Irrespective of how long you’ve been with each other, both of you grow as individuals every single day.
If you asked your partner what their favorite food and color was on the first date years ago, there’s a pretty good chance it’s not the same anymore.
To keep a relationship alive and share common interests, it’s important to communicate and learn about each other, every single day.
Use these tips on effective communication in a relationship to better the relationship, and understand your partner for who they really are as an individual, behind the façade of love.
Understand each other as you change
Our likes and dislikes change all the time. Talk to your partner about each other’s interests and dreams, what either of you want to be doing a few years down the lane, and where both of you should go on a vacation the next time around.
Ask about your partner’s day at work, and find out about their friends and all the other little details. When you show interest in each other’s lives, you understand each other better and improve communication in a relationship.
Learn to be frank in love
Communication in a relationship isn’t just about talking with each other or having a laugh. It’s also about expressing a negative opinion once in a while even if it sounds harsh. Withholding your frustration won’t stop your partner from doing the same thing again. If something hurts you or is holding your partner back from achieving something better, talk about it when the time’s right. One of the biggest mistakes couples do is expect their partner to read their mind.
Yes, you’ve been together for a long time, but that’s no reason to become mind readers. Even the best of lovers can overlook a few details now and then. So if something’s bothering you, learn to speak out the very instant it bothers you.
Go out one day in a week
You and your lover may be spending your evenings together, but are you really spending time with each other? Most of us watch the television while having dinner, and even while lying in bed. When you’re just spending time together without really talking, there’s no communication in the relationship. [Read: How to pick the perfect date restaurant]
To increase communication in a relationship, make plans with your partner to go out at least one evening in a week. It doesn’t always have to be dinner, even spending a couple of hours in a café can make for a lot of great conversations that can be fun and bring both of you closer. [Read: The couples road trip]
Do things together during the weekends
Do either of you like gardening, or rock sculpting, or perhaps even cooking exotic dishes? It doesn’t matter what both of you like, as long as something interests you. Weekend afternoons are a great time to do something together. A beautiful weekend afternoon is warm and lazy, and spending time together during this part of the day can feel refreshing to both of you, and the relationship.
Lies and sugarcoated confessions
To build effective communication in a relationship, you need to learn to be truthful. By lying or feeling suspicious about your partner, you’re not helping the communication in the relationship. Be truthful with each other and never give your partner the opportunity to doubt you.
Think your coworker is the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen? Fantasized about someone else last night? Your partner’s been putting on a lot of weight recently? Is the sex getting really monotonous? Tell the truth to your partner.
But of course, don’t talk about such details straight out. At times like these, make sure you bring the conversation up, but don’t be so direct about it. Always make sure you speak your mind, but it’s alright to sugarcoat your truth and mention it in passing, so it doesn’t hurt your partner. But always speak out about everything on your mind, it’s the only way to build trust and improve effective communication in a relationship.
Talk about your sexual fantasies
This is one of the biggest things that matter in building effective communication in a relationship. Many partners want to do so many things in bed, but they just don’t know how to say it out in fear of being judged or rebuked. Some partners like tantric sex or talking dirty, some want to role play in bed, a few have sexual fetishes, and others want to start swinging or indulge in exhibitionism and public flashing.
You know what, all these things are completely acceptable as long as it’s fun for both partners. Humans are creative creatures, so if you’ve got an active sexual imagination, why is that a bad thing? Sexual communication in a relationship is crucial for any relationship to succeed. If both of you aren’t open sexually, it may lead to boring sex lives and one of you may even decide to have an affair with someone else. Learn to speak your mind in bed, even if it feels awkward. You don’t need to talk about it straight out, drop a few hints and see how your partner responds. And if your partner’s hinting something unconventional in bed, don’t brush it away. Give it a thought if it’s what your partner likes and wants. [Read: Sexual fantasies for men and fantasies for women]
Acknowledge your partner’s thoughts
Learn to understand your partner and at times, talk to your partner like you would with a best friend. If you find your partner glancing very discreetly at a girl who looks quite good, don’t give him a bad stare and get huffy. Instead, acknowledge it and laugh about it. Instead of telling him to stop staring at her, tell him “she’s quite pretty, isn’t she?”
By acknowledging it, you’re letting your partner know that these passing glances are natural. Your partner may feel embarrassed (they should be!), but they would understand the faith you have in them.
You would stare at a good looker if you were with a friend too, wouldn’t you? Staring discreetly doesn’t lead to an affair, a bad relationship or circumstances do. As long as your partner’s not disrespecting you, it’s okay to acknowledge a casual stare and laugh about it. [Read: What is cheating?]
And it’s not just about staring at the opposite sex, learn to read your partner’s thoughts even while shopping for clothes or while at the grocery store. If your partner’s staring at an expensive box of cigars or a makeup kit, talk about it and indulge your partner instead of pushing them away from that aisle. [Read: How to cheer up your partner]
Happy partners make happy relationships, and to have a happy relationship, you need to understand the importance of effective communication in a relationship. Being in love is no different than spending time with a best friend, other than the part where you have sex. Voice your opinions, understand each other’s thoughts and before you know it, you’d be completing each other’s sentences.
It’s a happy thought, isn’t it? [Quiz: Would you be unfaithful to your partner?]
Follow these steps on effective communication in a relationship, and before you know it, you’ll have a perfect relationship where both of you understand each other and fall in love, more with every passing day.
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