Love and marriages start in heaven, but as the months go by, sweet girls and chivalrous men become nagging wives and nagging husbands. But most people don’t know they’re a nag themselves. Are you an unintentional nag? Find out.
Who is a nag? How do happy husbands and sweet wives become nagging husbands and nagging wives?
Not many partners realize that they actually nag without even realizing it.
Becoming nagging wives and nagging husbands
Beware of your ignorance, which in this particular situation might not always be bliss. To you, it might seem like you are just reminding your partner who always ends up forgetting things.
But think about it. Would you actually call yourself a nagging wife or husband? The definition of a nag thus lies with the person who is at the receiving end.
Not that name-calling is being advocated. Far from it. But a reminder borders on nagging when the partner under verbal attack is affronted.
Why will nagging not work?
Nagging can lead to a vicious self-defeating cycle. Though your reasons may be valid and repeated, your spouse still seems not to have heard. But going on and on about it is not going to help. This is a truism validated by experts. It will make your spouse resentful and defensive and remove himself/herself from you, physically and emotionally. [Read: Fighting in a relationship]
Nagging puts you in one place (superior or otherwise) and your partner in another (defensive or otherwise) and this is detrimental to a relationship, serving only to distance you both.
Further, nagging prompts a gamut of negative and destructive emotions like disapproval, condemnation, censure, anger, irritation, physical and emotional agitation in both partners. [Read: How to cheer up your partner]
Nagging issues and partners
Take for instance, a nagging issue between the two of you. Let’s say you want your partner to do something that does not come naturally to them, say like kissing goodbye before you part ways for the day. So you go on about it about till they comply and remember to kiss you dutifully, but can you feel the love?
Sure you’ve nagged your partner to physically do what you want, either out of sheer exhaustion or cowardice. But is this really what you want? How much more enriching would it be if it came to you from the heart. And for that, you should be able to command your partner’s emotions.
Understanding nagging and little signs of love
Scrutinize your relationship, is it enriching or demoralizing? A successful symbiotic relationship is based on love. Love does not mean roses and sexual chemistry, but involves a whole lot of (spontaneous or thought out) understanding and caring acts toward your partner. [Read: Feel lost in life]
These little acts go a long way in building your relationship and making it not only last, but also to make life enriching, satisfying and exciting.
On the other hand, a relationship dogged by unresolved issues can be tremendously taxing. While money management is the principal hurdle that most relationships fail to vault over smoothly, nagging, its causes and consequences, comes a close second. Indeed, while love can conquer all, relentless nagging can wear down even the most strongest of emotions. Intimacy can and will, without doubt, take a severe beating if you don’t stop nagging. [Read: How to overcome regret]
So try not to be a nagging wife or a nagging husband, instead, let love take its course into a better life. Speak your heart out and let your partner know how you feel instead of whining and becoming a nag. Click here to find out how to stop nagging your partner.
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