Been in so many shitty relationships that you forgot what a healthy one looks like? It’s time to remember the characteristics of a healthy relationship.
We’ve all been in shitty relationships, some more than others. Trust me, I’m an expert at shitty relationships. If you don’t want your relationship to work out, call me, I can make it happen. Knowing the characteristics of a healthy relationship helps us weed out the good and the bad.
But, in all honesty, we all go into a relationship that at one point we thought was going to be good, but ends up nothing like we imagined. The important part is that you recognize that your relationship isn’t what it should be nor what you deserve. [Read: 13 ways toxic love can harm you permanently]
The characteristics of a healthy relationship
If you’ve made it here, you probably question the relationship you’re in or had. Is it healthy? Well, I can already tell you something, if you’re reading this, you have doubts. Which already means you’re not happy with your current situation.
But relationships have many factors. It could be that your relationship is healthy, but you have outside influences affecting it such as family, friends, or work. So, though you should take that into consideration, right now, let’s just focus on the relationships itself. Because once you understand the characteristics of a healthy relationship, that’s all you’ll want.
#1 You’re not dependent on each other. Now, you want your partner to be someone reliable and dependable when you need something. But that’s a lot different than fully depending on someone. This isn’t a partnership then. It’s not that you want to be with them, it’s now a matter of necessity. [Read: 17 relationship red flags most people ignore]
#2 There’s balance between you two. No one has more power over the other or trying to one-up each other. Instead, there’s balance. You both have equal say in the relationship and both opinions matter. Of course, one person may make a decision. For example, you decide what’s going to be for dinner, but the other person decides what movie you will watch. You see what I mean? [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]
#3 You’re not trying to fix each other. I tried this when I was younger and you probably did too. You saw in your mind who this person could be and wanted to change them. But, it’s not who they are now. Really, you cannot change someone who does not want to change. A healthy relationship is recognizing each other’s flaws, but not trying to change them.
#4 You’re honest with each other. Honesty really is the best policy, especially when it comes to your partner. If you’re not honest, it’s not going to work. Really, I’m telling you right now, an unhealthy relationship is a dishonest one. It’s time to step up and start telling the truth if you want your relationship to work.
#5 Issues get discussed, solved, and dropped. You’re not fighting about something that happened eight months ago. Listen, if you or your partner cannot move on from what happened in the past, it’s never going to change. Your past issues continue to arise if you don’t learn how to let go. [Read: 10 immature things couples fight about]
#6 You both have time for yourselves. This is so important. Many people think the way to a successful relationship is to always be around each other, but you need time to yourself too. If you don’t love yourself and do things that make you happy, you won’t be a good partner. So, take some time out of your day to focus on yourself. [Read: How to stop being codependent and have a healthy relationship]
#7 There’s no ulterior motive to be together. You have to want to be with them because of them. Okay, yeah, there are people dating just for money or gifts. Let’s not play dumb, this is happening, but that’s not a healthy relationship. It’s not even a relationship, it’s a business partnership. The only thing you should want to get out of the relationship is their love.
#8 You respect each other’s boundaries. You have boundaries and so do they. Now, when you’re angry, you’re going to want to overstep their boundaries to piss them off, but that’s not healthy. You’re not going to solve anything, you just seek revenge. See, if you want it to work, respect their feelings and vice versa. [Read: 10 crucial steps to setting boundaries]
#9 You both believe in the relationship. A healthy relationship is when both people believe in it and want to be together. If you’re the only one putting in the effort, well, wouldn’t you say that’s one-sided? If you or your partner are not fully interested in the relationship, it’s simply not healthy.
#10 There’s no blame game. You’re going to argue no matter how amazing your relationship is. But there are two ways you argue. Firstly, you guys both blame each other and eventually mentally explode from exhaustion. Or you both accept your mistakes, apologizing and learning from the argument. I know the first one is easy to do, but the latter pays off in the end.
#11 You come first, the relationship comes second. I don’t care what anyone says, at the end of the day, regardless if single or taken, you come first. Okay, now that’s out of the way, your relationship should come second. You’re not going to take a trip without telling your partner. Instead, you include them in your lives and treat you and your partner like that: a unit.
#12 You support each other. We’re all flawed. We all have weaknesses and strengths, this is just human nature. However, you recognize each other’s weaknesses and strengths, supporting each other. You may be indecisive. Your partner knows that and helps you to make decisions. That’s called being supportive. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]
#13 You’re vulnerable with each other. Who else are you going to open up to on that intimate level if not your partner? Sharing yourself with them means you’ll need to be vulnerable. Of course, they need to be vulnerable to you as well. If not, then it’s one-sided and that’s not a relationship.