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Can Long Distance Love Survive the Distance?

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You may have to come face to face with the prospect of long distance love at some point in your relationship. Can a long distance love survive the distance or is it easier to call it quits?

long distance love

If you ever have to take a decision on long distance love, are you willing to give it a chance?

Managing a long distance romance isn’t easy at all. And as much as you may want to hold on, sometimes it’s easier and less painful to let go.

If you and your lover have to stay separated for just a few months or even a year, it may be easy to hold on.

But if your lover has to relocate to a new state for an unknown period and there’s no way you can move too, well, you do have a few things to consider before making up your mind.

Things to know about long distance love

Long distance love can seem cute in the movies, and while a few lovers may find it easier to handle the distance, many fail miserably and end up hating each other.

So unless you’re really ready for some difficult and faraway loving and willing to give your relationship the test of time, put the relationship on hold and move on, at least until both of you can meet again.

Here are a few things you need to keep in mind while deciding on long distance love.

Are you ready for it? You’ll have your answer in a few minutes.

Relationships need a lot of effort

Most lovers take love and relationships for granted. But in reality, relationships do need commitment and a bit of work. Most of the time, chemistry in love and understanding makes things in love seem easier and happier.

But if you’re not having a great relationship that’s overflowing with love already, you may have to reconsider your decision on long distance love.

When you’re away from each other, it’s easier to have misunderstandings over the simplest of things like a phone call, scheduled visits or even a rumor. And the worst part is that either of you can’t do much to ease the tension because both of you are so far away. Take a chance on long distance love only if both of you are compatible, understanding and have the will to take this big a step. [Read: Handling insecurity in a relationship]

Can you handle the freedom and the loneliness?

This is a big one in long distance love. When both of you live within the same area code, it’s easy to be with each other all the time. You get to watch new movies together, go out for dinners and party as a couple all night long.

And when one of you have to move away, either of you are going to have a difficult time idling time away on weekends. Even a few minutes in bored loneliness can feel like a lifetime. You can spend time with your friends, but it’s just not the same as being with someone you can flirt with or cuddle with.

While the new freedom of partial singledom can be exciting, especially when you have a lot of time to spend with new friends and meet new people, the loneliness can lead you to look for easy ways to bring back the excitement into your single life.

Can you trust your partner?

Learning to trust each other in a relationship is crucial in keeping long distance love alive. But do you really trust your attractive and outgoing partner? You know how easy is it to have a great time with someone else when you’re out with a ‘new friend’. Could your partner be up to something? Or could your partner lose interest in the relationship when they’re having so much fun hanging out with new friends?

The bottom line here is to ask yourself if you can completely trust your partner. If either of you can’t trust each other, perhaps long distance love isn’t for you. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]

It’s easy to get frustrated

Remember how easy it is to get upset with each other even during regular days? Long distance between each other can make it even worse.

First of all, there’s the fear and insecurity. Secondly, even the smallest of things like not answering the phone, going out more often or partying with new friends can lead to frustrations and confusion.

And the biggest bummer in long distance love, attractive new friends. It’s extremely easy for one partner to get jealous or angry when the other partner gets friendly with a few new attractive people. When new, mysterious friends start posting regular comments on facebook or start interrupting phone calls, it’s all the more reason to lose your cool. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Akon’s song ‘Lonely’ sucks, but it’s going to suck a lot more when you’re all alone and listening to it, knowing that your partner’s gone away for a long time.

The absence of your lover can make both of you miss each other a lot more, and even help both of you realize how much love means to both of you. As long as both of you take the effort to keep love alive, it’ll lead to a stronger and more fulfilled relationship when both of you get together again. Long distance love can actually be the biggest relationship test that can help both of you understand how much either of you mean to each other. [Read: How to stay in love forever]

[Read: How to write a love letter]

Absence makes you hornier too

When you’re in a perfectly happy relationship with an attractive person, it’s easy to feel sexually exhilarated. You have great sex, add in a bit of cuddles and kisses, and life’s just perfect.

But when you’re experiencing long distance love, you’re all alone and you’re obviously going to feel the loneliness in your loins pretty soon. It’s just inevitable. Can you put those lusty thoughts aside and wait until you hold your partner in your hands again?

It’s so easy to cheat and not get caught

Your partner isn’t around anymore. Your friends have their own lives going on. No one really cares what you’re up to late at night. Have you met someone who’s attracted to you or is charmed by you? What are you going to do about it?

When you’re experiencing a long distance romance, it’s really easy for either partner to cheat and get away with it without even leaving a trace behind. Do you trust your partner and yourself to avoid that temptation? The fact that either of you will never get caught makes it so much easier. But you have to learn to leave temptations behind and walk away. [Read: Are you in love with two people?]

One stolen kiss will lead to another and eventually, it’ll just create a serial cheater out of you or your partner. If either of you think you can’t handle long distance love for lusty reasons, end it instead of cheating a partner and losing your conscience.

[Read: How to end a relationship the right way]

You may grow apart

As humans, all of us grow and change into better and newer individuals all the time. When you’re living together or even just dating, you may not notice these differences because both of you learn to evolve together. But when you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s easier to grow apart because both of you are pursuing your own dreams and leading your own lives.

Love needs communication to grow. Unless both of you put in the effort to communicate each other’s feelings and talk about goals and aspirations, you’d start to see that both of you are moving away in different directions. And at times, both of you may end up becoming incompatible partners even if both of you were deeply in love with each other. [Read: Is he the one for you?]

Long distance love may be a great test to measure the strength in the relationship, but it’s riddled with temptations, jealousy and frustrations that can create havoc in even the perfect of relationships.

Still think long distance love is worth the effort? Well, it’s about time you make up your mind.

So are you ready for a bit of long distance love? If you’re willing to take a chance on true love and want to try and survive a long distance romance, read how to make a long distance relationship work to solve your problems.


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Have your say!
  • September 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    I personally think that long distance relationships never work out in the long run. Maybe in the short term, with a lot of effort and trust. I believe healthy relationships are all about companionship, where you can grow as a couple. Over long distance, that doesn’t exist. And although absence makes the heart grow fonder, it can also make the heart forget…

  • Cathy
    November 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    I am so glad I found this page, to find that I am not alone. My boyfriend moved away last night for work and it is eating me up inside. It is a very new, but intense relationship and I am questioning whether to continue. From what I can gather, it is a permanant move for him and I can not move there (my kids come first and can’t take them outta school). So, I don’t know if I should give it some time or cut my loses now. And as it is a new relationship, talking about the future is difficult at this stage. I am so confused and it hurts. Thanks for letting me vent.

  • Confusedd
    November 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    I’m debating moving from the west coast to the east coast for school, my boyfriend of 5 years (we own a house together and have a dog) has his career here. It would be for about a year and a half, but I don’t know if I could actually go by myself, and be independent. It’s to make our future better but is it worth leaving??

  • hoping for good times
    November 22, 2011 | Permalink |

    My situation is driving me nuts… My boyfriend got a job overseas and at first i was excited for him to have his dreams realized.. He had asked me if this was okay and that if i was going to have any problems with him living away for long periods of time.. I said it was ok. Im not one to hinder his dreams… But now this one month on and one month off work has turned into months of not seeing him.. He’s paying his debt off and has become money hungry. i havent seen him in over two months and he is not sure if he is even coming back to the country.. Hoping that he hasnt forgotten our plans.. I know the distance relationship is hard but how could people forget so quickly about the future they plan…

  • Natalie
    July 31, 2012 | Permalink |

    It’s been two months since I’ve had to move away from my boyfriend (all the way to another country across the ocean! D: ). Tomorrow I’ll get to see him for the first time since I bawled my eyes out in the airport the morning I had to leave.

    I think long distance love is possible/can make the distance. After all my parents are proof that it can. A big part of their relationship has been long distance and they’ve nearly been married for 20 years because either my dad was in the military or his new job would whisk him away for days/weeks/months. Some of these rules don’t just apply for a sucessful long distance relationship, but they also apply to any relationship. Communication, trust, love, and all of those sorts of things are important.

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