Want to know what orgasmic meditation is? Is it difficult to achieve? What can it bring to your sex life? Here’s everything you need to know.
Orgasmic meditation, or OM to its fans, is a new(ish) craze that’s being talked about all over the world. The “practice” sounds relatively simple, and it’s one designed for the ladies *sorry, fellas* where one partner gently rubs and strokes the other partner’s clitoris for 15 minutes.
What’s so special about that? Will it bring you sexual enlightenment or, at the very least, a mind-blowing orgasm?
Well, not necessarily, but the benefits include a state of deep calm, a feeling of closeness with your partner, and, in some cases, serious pleasure. The action has even been heralded as extremely therapeutic, according to its advocates.
So let’s get down to the details. Firstly, you don’t actually have to have a partner to enjoy OM. It can have the same therapeutic, profound effects whether you are in a relationship or not. However, you’ve got to have a pretty open mind to attend a session on your own, but if you want to give it a go, don’t let being single hold you back. [Read: 15 reasons why being single can be a lot of fun, too!]
Why you should try orgasmic meditation
The practice was fist devised by OM guru Nicole Daedone, who believes that the technique can help women who have difficulty achieving orgasm. Because the focus is solely on the woman *with the partner who is delivering the OM remaining fully clothed*, she can fully concentrate on her own sexual pleasure.
That said, the benefits for men are extensive, too. Practicing orgasmic meditation requires lots of trust, which can help to form a deep, strong connection between partners who use this technique in their sex lives. The meditative part is beneficial for both parties, with men claiming that they have felt feelings of warmth, electricity, even a “golden light” flowing through their bodies when they take part in the practice.
Of course, you can try orgasmic meditation in the comfort of your own home, and there are even instructional videos available on the internet so you can see exactly how it’s done. However, if you’re feeling brave and want to truly immerse yourself in the practice, there are orgasmic meditation classes available all over, though most of these come with a fairly hefty price tag. [Read: 15 fun, weird, and intimate things to do as a couple]
In order to get into the correct position to enjoy OM, set up a “nest.” This is usually a comfortable spot on the floor covered with blankets and cushions, or whatever else is needed to make the couple feel comfortable and relaxed.
The woman, or “strokee,” lies on her back with her legs “butterflied open.” This basically means knees bent, and legs splayed wide apart. The woman undresses from the waist down. The partner, or “stroker,” then sits on the woman’s right side, wrapping his left leg over her stomach. He should be in a position where he can look at her face if he wants to, but also be able to fully concentrate and be aware of what he is doing and where he is touching.
Some OM sessions encourage the stroker to talk to their partner and to describe what they are seeing and doing. This is an unusual act, which brings an added level of intimacy to the practice. Think about it, allowing the other person to describe exactly what they are doing to you is an act that can make you feel utterly vulnerable. Yet it is through that vulnerability that the closeness is formed.
Particularly in classes, where not everyone attends with a partner, the emphasis is on making the woman feel utterly comfortable and not at all pressured to say yes to anyone who asks her if she would like to be stroked.
The men are required to ensure that they do something called “safeporting,” where they tell the woman what they are going to do, in detail, before they do it. This isn’t like talking dirty. Instead, men are asked to use a safe, calm voice while explaining the specific actions that they will take to make the woman feel secure and assured that there will be no unexpected “surprises.” [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]
The process of OM remains the same, though the level of skill with which it is carried out takes time and practice.
Firstly, the stroker will gently massage the woman’s legs, known as “grounding.” Then, he describes what he can see. This must be done using literal “non-value” terms such as color, shape, and so on so that the woman doesn’t feel judged by the way her vagina is being described.
After this, the stroker strokes upwards from the entrance of the vagina to the clitoris, then continues to stroke the clitoris for fifteen minutes. During this time, the woman is encouraged to tell him or her if the pressure is too hard or too soft, or ask them to move a little to the left, a little to the right, etc. The stroker must always say “thank you” when these requests are made.
The stillness of the body is also important. In fact, many women have even commented that they were surprised by the stillness of their own bodies while partaking in orgasmic meditation. This can be in large contrast to all the movements that occur during all sorts of sexual acts, so this stillness can give women a chance to really hone in on how their body feels at any given moment. [Read: 12 questions about female sexuality: Finally answered!]
Does practicing orgasmic meditation actually guarantee an orgasm?
In truth, there seem to be mixed reviews on this. Some women claim to have had the most intense orgasms of their lives during their OM sessions, whereas others say they didn’t experiencing anything close to an orgasm at all.
But despite its name, orgasmic meditation is not solely focused on the orgasm, and many women have reported other strange but positive effects after taking part. Some have said that they feel warm and tingling sensations, and others claim it feels like a bolt of lightening in their nether regions. For some, it is a deeply relaxing and spiritual experience, the effects of which lasting for hours or even days after they’ve finished.
Others, however, aren’t OM’s greatest fans, and those who don’t like it refer to the practice as feeling “clinical” or simply “downright strange.”
As with any sexual experimentation, there are always going to be lovers and haters, and it is all about finding out what is right for you and your partner.
If OM is something that you both love, then that’s great. If it brings you closer together, gives you an amazing otherworldly spiritual enlightenment, or simply gets you off, then you should go ahead and enjoy it!
If it doesn’t float your boat or makes you feel awkward, uncomfortable, or just plain bored, then move on. Chances are, if you’re willing to give it a go, you’re probably a pretty experimental kind of couple anyway, so surely there will be something else to come along that the two of you might like much better. [Read: 11 most common fetishes, plus 5 super weird ones]
Orgasmic meditation is an interesting practice and has been proven to give some women levels of sexual enjoyment that they thought they might never have. It‘s not for everyone, but then again, no sex act is!
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Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. She works as a f...