Love Triangles and its Confusing Complications

love triangles

Love triangles are confusing affairs. Find out how love triangles work, how you could end up falling into one and how you can get out of one here.

Have you ever been in love with someone who’s already in love with someone else?

Or are you in love with someone right now, but find yourself falling for someone else at the same time?

Well, you’re just living the perfect love triangle life!

What is a love triangle?

A love triangle is a complicated dating scenario where there’s love in the air, but there are more than two people involved.

When love is mutual and shared between two people, everything is perfect, simple and easy.

But when a third person enters the picture, everything changes just like that.

In come the complications and the frustrations, laced with intense happiness and a flow of bitterness.

[Read: 18 signs you’re having an emotional affair and don’t know it yourself]

The two types of love triangles

There are two primary types of love triangles. There are many complicated love triangles too, but they always find a way to fit into these two scenarios.

#1 Two people trying to win one person’s affection.

#2 One person who’s in love with one person but likes someone else at the same time.

[Read: What should you do when you start falling for someone else?]

How would you find yourself in a love triangle?

If you have a crush on someone who’s already in a relationship, that doesn’t become a love triangle. It stays as a crush.

And if you’re in a perfectly happy relationship and your friend tells you they’re in love with you, that’s not a love triangle either, because your friend just has a crush on you.

A love triangle starts only when there is reciprocation.

When a single person starts to feel a reciprocating connection with someone who’s already dating, or if you’re in a relationship with one person and start loving someone else who reciprocates your love, it has the perfect recipe for a love triangle.

Only with reciprocation does a motive to pursue arise. After all, if you liked someone and that person didn’t care about you, there’s nothing at all that you can do, is there?

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or you’re single, what you need to realize is that love triangles can never ever be created because of one person’s weak moment. It always takes two people to start the complication while the third person suffers for no fault of theirs.

No one wants to be in a love triangle

And yet, almost all of us end up in one. A love triangle may start off as an interesting distraction at first, which then unexpectedly turns into love. And this can lead to sticky love triangles where one person could be in love with two people at the same time. [Read: Are you truly in love with two people at the same time?]

When you don’t want to take a step ahead, nor do you want to take a step back and stay happy in your own relationship, a love triangle starts to form even if you try your best to avoid it.

Love triangles always affect a relationship negatively

For the person who’s single, it’s simple. All they need to do is steal the person who’s already in the relationship.

If you’re single and trying to steal someone who’s in an unhappy relationship, it’s really easy. But what do you do if they’re with someone they really love? They may love you and yet, they may not want to lose their own partner. You may be able to steal a few happy moments of love and lust, but if nothing really works out, you can still walk away with your share of pain and helplessness. [Confession: I had an affair with a married man]

On the other hand, a person who loves two people will want the best of both people, and the worst of none. They’d start picking flaws in their partner, and creating false reasons to justify why they’re cheating. They need a reason to convince themselves that they’re not happy in the relationship, and that’s the only reason they’re falling for someone else or getting involved in a love triangle.

But even when the third person walks away from their life someday, can they ever overcome all the flaws they’ve picked in their relationship?

Unless there’s a lot of love and bonding in the relationship, a love triangle always leaves a deep scar that tests the person’s faith in the relationship.

And almost always, a relationship that is put through the test of a love triangle fails or never regains its former glory.

Love triangles are painfully fun

If you’re involved in a love triangle right now, you would know this. A love triangle is a lot of fun for the cheating partner and the third person, because it’s so exciting and risky. When you enjoy the pleasures of a love triangle, it’s always fun.

But for your partner who’s in the dark, it may be a very miserable time because you’re ignoring them, detaching yourself emotionally from them, and completely avoiding them. [Read: Should you ever confessing to cheating on your partner?]

And once the fire and the passion of your secret affair starts to die down and you realize that you still love your partner and not this third person *which almost always happens*, you’d start to feel the pain too.

So what do you really get out of a love triangle? Nothing but pain, even if it feels like fun while it lasts.

Love triangles are selfish

You may think it’s acceptable for you to love someone else behind your lover’s back. But would you be fine if your partner behaved exactly like you, used the same flirty words you use with your adulterous lover, with someone they like? If that bothers you, you’re being very unfair to your partner and you’re being selfish.

I know you feel helpless, but you really need to keep this in mind. Most lovers who are stuck in love triangles forget to think from their partner’s point of view now and then. By keeping your partner in mind, even if you do fall for someone else, you’ll always know who’s more important at the back of your mind. And that guilt will help give you the strength to walk away even if you’ve rolled in the hay with someone else for a few weeks. [Read: How to end an affair and get over it completely]

Love triangles are inevitable

Let’s face it. We can’t always stop ourselves from appreciating someone else, or falling for someone else helplessly. But a love triangle is best avoided.

It can happen when you least expect it. You may just enjoy a conversation with someone, and without realizing it, a few weeks later, you may be in love with them because they excite you and have infatuated you. Don’t hate yourself if that happens to you. Just learn to do the right thing. [Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend and feel so much better!]

But if you ever do experience a love triangle, instead of picking flaws in your own relationship, ask yourself whom you’d really choose, and who you want to be with. Just one answer. Don’t try to push that thought away. You have no choice, because someday you’re going to have to decide on that. And the earlier you make up your mind, the less painful it’ll be for everyone involved.

A love triangle starts only when you’re confused over your emotions for your partner. If you’re certain about who you’re truly in love with, you’ll never have a weak moment even if you just enjoy a flirty conversation with a flirty someone outside your relationship. [Read: Is flirting really cheating if you’re already in a relationship?]

You don’t need to be wary of everyone you talk to, or avoid ever getting friendly with anyone of the opposite sex. All you need to remember is how happy you already are in your perfect relationship. Just keeping that in mind will safeguard you from ever sliding down the exciting and dark hole of love triangles.

[Read: 15 reasons why you’re so bored with your relationship]

If you’re experiencing a love triangle or wondering how to get over one, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It only makes you human.

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Natalia Avdeeva
Natalia Avdeeva
Natalia Avdeeva sometimes feels like she’s an 80-year-old woman trapped in a 29-year-old body. She loves buying makeup and ends up not wearing them most of th...
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23 thoughts on “Love Triangles and its Confusing Complications”

  1. Brittany says:

    Okay so I am in scenario 2 I haven’t cheated on my boyfriend or anything of that. Me and my Boyfriend (Braden) are doing long distance right now because of a family issue that happened a while back so I’m stuck in Florida and he’s in Virginia. It has been citing me down here lately and I have been away from Braden for 5 months. Ever since I’ve gotten back to Florida and ex of mine his name is Tevin has been contacting me and every now and then we fight because of all the confusion and hurt with having to choose. I’m constantly batteling myself to choose but I just don’t know what to do. My boyfriend is so friendly and we talk about
    Marriage and children for the future. Tevin on the other hand changed alot since the last time we had dated and he said he’d change for me. Unfortunately I find myself constantly because I just
    Cannot find out what I want and they both tell me
    To follow my heart and my heart is silent I just don’t know what to do. Someone please help me.

  2. Becky says:

    I’ve been searching on-line for some information and I’m beginning to wonder if it is out there (I used to believe the internet had everything) – you’re talking about cheating and developing feelings in both of your scenarios, but I am absolutely in a love triangle that doesn’t fit either one and I’m looking for advice on how to make this work – I am female and my original relationship is with another female (we are married although the state we live in does not recognize it), we seperated when we were fighting really bad and tried to move on (although we also attempted to maintain our friendship) and long story short, she found a guy who didn’t make her happy and I found a guy who did make me happy. She has gotten to know the guy that I found and she has really fallen for him and through all this me and her and have been working on our relationship – all 3 of us are completely aware of what is going on (no secrets, no games) and we want to make this work, but it’s kinda new to all 3 of us, things are going fabulously now, but I would like some more insight into how to make this continue to work………

  3. lekha says:

    okay so My best friend is a guy. We’ve known each other forever. we always knew dating was never an option being from different backgrounds. I always thought if he ever had to fall for someone it would be me, given that we are joined at the hip and almost always together. we love the same things. we think alike. we do/ say/ think the same things at the same time. we share every little secret with each other. he’d go out of the way to help me and do stuff no one else would do for me. I always knew he has a lil something for this girl in our class but the day he admitted to liking her was the day i realised i really did like him. till that day, whenever friends teased i never thought of him romantically until he spilled the beans. now he likes her. she likes him. things wont ever work out between them because of an age difference he says so and isn’t planning on asking her out ever. he still likes her however. now i really really like him and i want him. he has a slight feeling i may like him. we mutually friendzoned each other but now i want him back. how do i go about getting out of this love triangle?

  4. Karl says:

    I am now involved in a love triangle and when I see my partner is with the other one I really felt sad and envious! Actually I’m the one who joined in their relationship because I love that guy more than I can ever imagine. What can i do? Although he said that he loves me more than the other one but when they flirt, i feel uneasy!

  5. Anna says:

    so what’s the go if you meet someone who has a f**k buddy and you fall in love with that someone and she says they want only you, they love you, and you find out they still want the f**k buddy because there’s a strong attraction?

  6. Maria says:

    Im in a situation where i love my boyfriend but this other guy is telling me he loves me and i developed a crush on him they both know how i feel and they tell medifferent things and idk what to do im really sad because i dont want to hurt them please someone help me

  7. Love triangle beginner :/ says:

    My love triangle is basically where I developed a huge crush over guy1 that he’s already in a relationship & now that guy2 (also happens to be guy1 best friend) is developing a crush over me. Meanwhile guy1 come ahead & confess that he’s been having a crush on me as well, however he’s still with his girlfriend & I don’t know what to do ,,

  8. priya says:

    i am in a situation that i am crazy and mad about a man who loves my close friend.i tried to walk away from this relationship,but i couldnt …they will be helpless with me…i cant control of talking to him.but he is not even considering….i cant take it easy when they are together…i have been in pain and restless for a long time…i couldnt concentrate on any anything…i am in a fear that i would lose my career…

  9. Morrison says:

    I am in a relationship with with a woman but her ex has came back and asked her out, now she is tilting between the both of us its disheartening i really like her but i don’t want to be played with.

  10. Jay says:

    So, my situations kind of interesting. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. I wouldn’t really call it a love triangle but rather a love quadrilateral or perhaps a pentagon depending on how you look at it. I am on winter break, and an old friend who is a few years older than me contacted me. We had a really strong connection when we met 5 years ago, but I was underage. So he contacted me and I said I would be in town… He owns a store, which I started hanging out at. He is married with kids now. He has really fallen for me hard, talked about leaving his wife and so on. Then on top of this, his main employee has fallen for me too. The employee and I just kinda started talking. He knows the boss/my friend wants me, and i have told his boss/my friend that he wants me… so they all know but they don’t know the other knows. I just want to be friends with them and be with my boyfriend…. but since were almost 100 miles away right now its hard and I keep coming up with excuses (like mentioned in the article) why our relationship isn’t great, when in reality it is and I will likely marry the guy. The two other guys that are in love with me offer things that my boyfriend doesn’t, and honestly I didn’t know I wanted…. Plus it doesn’t help that I naturally just flirt all the time no matter who I’m talking to…..The employee is super sweet and he has made me his world… while the boss and I have always had a strong and personal connection. There does not exist another person that I can talk to so well. Sigh. No clue how to figure this one out. I am kind of hoping it will all just go away when I move back to school in a couple weeks.

  11. Confused mummy says:

    Ok so I’ve been with this guy for almost 3 years. We have 2 children together and out of the blue a ex ( I feel inlove with at a young age) contacted me a month or so ago, I haven’t slept with him or anything I just can’t help but feel like I’m cheating on my man with him. I love both of them but differently and have no idea what to do about it. Guy 2 was always the guy who I would dream about having a family with and getting married to until I met my partner who is the best partner and father I could ever want for my family. Ahhhhh ok when I read it on here it’s quiet simple.

  12. Sandy S says:

    Hi, I was the other guy, i fell uncontrollably and helplessly in love with a young woman who i met at a place of education who became my best friend, i tried to tell myself that i was not in love with this person for a long time, i even went out with the woman and her partner to try and convince myself it was better if i kept my mouth shut about my feelings, and realize that if i did talk, i would be possibly ruining two peoples lives. To cut a much longer story short, the woman girl seemed unhappy in a relationship, my mouth opened up because i wanted her to be happy, as i felt i could have been that person. For 6 months the flame was bright, we feel in love hard and we had an amazing time together, to be honest it was the best thing that ever happened to me, and the worst thing at the same time. i have one word for you.. ‘guilt’…… that is what made everything turn into a dark and horrible situation to be in. it got the better of her. she became depressed and with every passing day it was eating her up inside, and the never knowing if she was going to commit to me fully took its toll on me big time. in the end what seemed the best thing in the world turned into a nightmare. As i truly believed in the love we shared and was convinced it was not just lust (which it wasn’t) i made personal changes to my life so that if the woman did choose me, she would be fine and have a place to go, if that was what she wanted. in the end because of guilt and other things, i was not successful in this situation. she made up alot of different scenarios in her head trying to justify why she did what she did with me and i was cast out. in reaction, remembering all the things that are said that one believes in a situation like this, i ended up feeling worthless, unloved and undervalued and i suffered a bout of depression due to this. so what i am basically saying is if you find that special someone and she happens to be in a relationship , it is OK to say how you feel, but MAKE SURE RECIPROCATION IS NOT OCCURRING UNTIL THE PERSON HAS NO TIES. as i fear you will be experiencing similar things we went through and i would not wish that upon anyone.Trust me, i believed in us so much and nothing could have been better, but all those things you put to the side in this situation come back and bite your behind at somepoint. this also affected my ability to enter a new relationship with someone who was single as i was left with a great pain, lingering sadness and a whole new world of trust issues. i am aware of the big mistakes i made in this situation, but i am really hope that this message helps just one person if not more in this situation, as im sure you know this can be some real heartbreaking stuff. Best Wishes Sandy S xXx

  13. scrappy says:

    Love triangle! Help! I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and he moved out. I started dating a close friend. Ex came back into picture and I’m sleeping with both. They don’t know and I can’t stop. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in a relationship. I do t want to make a decision but know I have to. Each one is opposite of the other. One is really good for me and the other doesn’t offer much. I love them both for different reasons but not in love with either. I’m being totally selfish and don’t know how to make a move.

  14. Beautiful Disaster says:

    Ugh! Dealing with this as I speak. Met a guy and been dating him exclusively for nearly two years. From the beginning I knew he had female friends likewise I had male friends. We established friends with benefits and of course we fell in love. What sucks is he’s confused because his lady friends states away from he and I thinks she the one but knows that he and I are really serious and we look at each other as more than FWBs we are moving into a commitment. I know about her and she knows about me, but the more I pull away from him because I refuse to be confused like this he won’t let me go!! How selfish right? He and I are practically neighbors so of course we totally see each other everyday. What sucks is I love him so much that I hate to see him torn and he doesn’t see that he’s killing himself!! Ugh this is the worst stop it before it gets out of control if you can. Nothing worse than three broken hearts…Signed I know my Worth!!!

  15. rattled ishi says:

    So here’s my confusion….there two are guys one says that he love me nd can do anything for my happiness and the other guy doesn’t say much bt do cute little things for me and is very possessive and protective abt me. These two guys are childhood besties bt due to issues related to me they are now enemies and everytime bitch about each other to me. I feel for the second guy, but the first one is too stubborn to let me go. When I sometimes stop talking to him he physically hurts himself after which his friends come to me for help and unwillingly I have to help. Now and then he gets into fight because of me. All this the second guy doesnt like. Due to all this friend circles of both guys hate me as they think that I intensionally separated them but that’s not true….in the initial stage I tried my best to sort out their friendship but I failed 🙁 🙁 now I dont know what to do???

  16. James says:

    Hello. I’m in a kinda complex situation so I’ll try to make it breif. I told a friend that I liked a girl. They started hanging out and he told me everything was cool. Well Dr. Evil here told me 2 days ago that he sabotaged the relationship between me and the girl. What an asshole! Raging horomones aside I still want to know if I still have a shot with this girl. She just seems as close to perfect as a girl can be. The thought of her just makes me snuggle up with pillows and blankets and stare at my blue bedroom wall (as girly as it sounds) and spend the next half hour just fantasizing. Or until I go to sleep. In this case it’s 2 guys fighting over a girl. And althougth I’m out for blood, she’s not helping. Idk what goes on in her head but I think she’s fickle. Because that girl has gone so hot and cold I think she’s bipolar. But there’s a plot twist. At the end of the day she doesn’t seem too fond of Dr. Evil. And she complained about him and his shiny head and pinky finger fetish to me a couple times ;)…..I need help. I want to be with her more then anything. She’s the girl of my dreams. I know what I’m feeling isn’t lust but more love. When I think about her now it’s of the last time we talked. Grad. I gave her my sharktooth that had a piece of paper saying “Love you always” on it. I went up to her and without speaking dangled the sharktooth from the top of my hand, put it in hers and squeezed. And then when I looked up. Tears. Ruining her make up. She hugged me and because there’s a big height difference I put my head on top. Instant balling. I wish that moment lasted forever. I knew from the minute I left that parking lot I fell in love. Please help me

  17. Max says:

    Hi I am in a love triangle with two girls named Carol and Lisa. I am in with love Carol. How can I tell Lisa.


  18. Raven says:

    But how about when two people are in the dark and only one person knows (the cheater)? For example, I had a situation where the man was looking for a relationship outside of the one he was in (unbeknownst to his girlfriend). Alledgedly, he was unhappy but continued to string her along. We met online and since we lived close, we just met up at a park and took it from there. I thought he was single. We hit it off great and began seeing each other. After knowing him for two weeks, he told me that he has a girlfriend and that he had not yet ended the relationship. This hurt me because I liked him. Since I had not known him long i just played it cool with him and didn’t take us seriously. Well, he had a falling out with her because after going through his phone, she confronted him about my picture that she discovered and since he was looking for a way out anyway, he admitted to it to her. He let me know that the situation was over. I still was in the background busy with work so I paid it no mind. Then one day he told me that he was confused about her but did not want to lose me. I really liked him, and just hung with him. Well, we hung out a lot. He invited me to his place of worship, his football games, etc. One day, he finally told me that they were through. She had went through his phone and emails and he just could not take it any longer. We continued to hang out and we began dating. After 7 months, she called me on my phone and wanted to know why I am contacting “her man.” I though he was done with her! Well, he called me, apologized and said that he needs to be alone because he has hurt two women and he doesn’t want to leave me, but he needs to do things right this time. I agreed, but he called me the next day and said he wants to be with me. I told him he needs time and I may not be there once he figures out his life. She went through his emails again and confronted him about me again. Drama. I should’ve given him that time because 6 months after that, he admitted to still seeing her. He is really confused. I love him, but he needs to get it together. He needs to stay with her, find out that it doesn’t work, and then look for a meaningful relationship AFTER spending time to himself. I am not contacting him after that. I do think that if he went through all of the above and changed, I might still consider. Damn I wish I was not so vested. Perhaps those feelings will pass.

  19. revanth says:

    hi,i have been in a feeling of love with her.i started chatting with her in fb,watsap, to get her closer.but all of a sudden her best friend(who already proposed her in the past year.she rejected him) manipulated the story in such a way that indirectly i wil be in a problem if she starts some relationship like getting close to her.he is so clever and cunning.we had chatted few days in past 2 months.but now i realized that she is in trouble with some personal problems i started calling her in mobile.we will talk 4 times in a week,20 min per day.she already knows that i am trying her.she has very good impression on me.we will exchange a lot of jokes in mobile,while talking.Can someone suggest me how to win her heart

  20. Riley says:

    I’m the third wheel in a love triangle. I feel sad now

  21. tray says:

    I’ve been with a woman who has another man in love with her as well. She tells me that she loves me but she gives the other man a chance as well. I really wanted to win her heart because she was my dream girl. I really wanted to make her feel my love and that it’s the only love that she will ever need. I wanted her to know that I needed her in my life and it’s not only what I want anymore. I wanted to satisfy her with my love so much that I gave everything that I had to give and just didn’t want anything in return at all. I wanted her to feel my love. I wanted more though as time passed by, I wanted to feel her love for me as well. She gave it to me but I felt that she had a part of her hooked on to the other man as well. I didn’t accept it and proposed to be her one and only boyfriend. She said yes and she broke the heart of the poor guy. I was really happy and I didn’t feel remorse for the guy whatsoever because I got my girl. Now, we’re really living our lives and I get the love that I deserve and she gets all of me which she deserves as well. I never want to let her go ever again!

  22. Hon says:

    I was caught in a terrible love triangle. Basically, I was pursued by two separate suitors at once. I ended up dating both of them for a bit, but they were pissed when either one found out I had seen the other. They were both so close to me, so it was hard to choose. They even had a threesome with me to compete to see who was the better lover. In the end I ended up choosing my right hand as it felt more familiar than my left.

  23. dj says:

    I could fill a thousand pages with my story, from the outside looking in its pretty juicy and would fascinate anyone with a sex drive. But let me tell you, im dieing a slow death here, if im lucky i get to see her on average twice a week for only 4 or 5 hours at a time, yes its killing me! We are only 4 weeks into this Complex Love Triangle and this girl is without doubt something very rare and extremely special. I cannot lose her, but i also cannot force her hand or even be seen to be manipulating the situation. It has to run its course i think? It has to find its end naturally. I wasnt here first, the other guy was. But luckily for me the fool is digging his own grave with how he treats her, he’s doing a stellar job with making her fall out of love with him! So i leave you with this, Are love Triangles worth it? Well, in my experience only, i’ve met the girl of my dreams and would rather die than be without her, the agony i suffer when she says goodbye is brutal and i’m really not to sure i can stay this strong forever, but hopefully in time, she will leave the bastard making me the happiest man alive.. My advice? Unless they are something amazing, id give it a miss. If all your after is sex, id definitely steer clear. If like in my case, she is the best thing thats ever happened to you, the pain is worth it.

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