Have you been bad? If your relationship started strong and ended with earth-shattering pain, then you may have experienced a karmic relationship.
You’re probably familiar with the common phrase: “Karma’s a bitch.” This catchphrase is often used to express that someone who has done you wrong is going to get their comeuppance in a fantastically evil way. Karma refers to the effect a person’s actions has on the rest of their lives. In traditional Buddhism and Hinduism, your karma has a direct effect on your fate in your next incarnation. What about a karmic relationship?
This refers to the psychological impulse behind your actions. If you are deep into Buddhism then you probably believe your karmic relationship is some kind of twisted soulmate you must date in order to make up for mistakes in your past.
These relationships begin full of power and lust and end painfully. If you ask us, karmic relationships are basically relationships from hell.
Whatever you believe, here are 10 signs you may be in a karmic relationship.
Characteristics of a karmic relationship
The idea behind a karmic relationship is that you’re being punished for something you’ve done in the past. For example, if you cheated on someone without regret, you end up in a relationship where you get cheated on. Lucky you!
Whether you believe in karma or not, this is a wake-up call to start watching how you treat the people you claim to care about. Here are the telltale signs your relationship is bad news.
#1 Intense passion. Doesn’t sound too bad, does it? Well, just like being in a lusty relationship and shattering your chances at a healthy relationship, so can karmic relationships. These types of bonds are filled with electric passion that screams the two of you were meant to be together.
#2 Obsession. When you are in a karmic relationship, you are obsessed with your mate. You want to know what they’re doing, watching, thinking, and who they’re talking to practically every minute you’re not together. You worry constantly about what they may be doing.
#3 Negative feelings. Have you ever liked someone so much that you actually felt bad when you were around them? If you’ve experienced this painful swarm of butterflies don’t be fooled, it isn’t a good thing. If you feel bad whenever you’re around your cosmic sweetheart that’s a sign, in any relationship, that it’s time to either fix things or move on. [Read: All the reasons why loving someone too much kills the love]
#4 Jealousy. Along with obsession comes its lovely cousin jealousy. Jealousy comes in karmic relationships when you can’t seem to let go of your fear.
Jealousy may seem healthy in small doses, but this fear often snowballs into a myriad of other emotions such as neuroticism, possessiveness, and dependence. This takes all the fun out of your relationship.
On the other hand, it may be your karmic partner who is the jealous one. This can be difficult to manage in any relationship since it often leads to a controlling personality. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
#5 Control. Along with jealousy comes control. You or your mate may use different avenues to control one another. This involves spying on your lover, virtual snooping, or telling them they can’t hang out with their friends or family. This is especially prevalent if your family and friends openly disapprove of your partner.
If your mate tries to distance or disassociate you from your loved ones, you should take this as a sign you’re with a total D-bag and walk the other way.
#6 Anger. If you were full of anger in a past relationship or experience, karmic teachings dictate your partner in your new relationship will be angry with you—if you believe in all that.
#7 Gut feeling. If you are in a bad relationship, there are probably three areas of your body, mind, and being that already know it: your brain, your heart, and your gut. Go with your gut. Rarely is it wrong, yet it’s so hard to follow. If your gut is telling you something about your relationship isn’t right, run in the opposite direction!
#8 Physical and emotional abuse. If an act of violence happens once in a relationship, odds are it is going to happen again*. This avenue of a karmic relationship follows with jealousy, obsession, and control. Other forms of abuse may also be present with your partner, such as emotional mind-games and verbal assaults. These are all to make you feel less than your partner so that you stay with them.
*Never consider an abusive relationship your karmic payback! If you are in an abusive relationship and can’t get out, consult the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) and take advantage of apps for domestic abuse such as the Aspire News App.
#9 Substance abuse. Most karmic relationships show signs of distinct partying, and not the fun Friday night kind. This symptom appears fun at first because it follows the bad boy/bad girl persona often attached to destructive relationships.
Drugs, drinking, and non-stop partying are often signs of being in an abusive karmic relationship. Leaning on crutches of alcohol and drugs when you are unhappy is often referred to as self-medicating. If you need to be self-medicated to be around your partner, you should take this as a giant red flag. [Read: 9 ways to quit attracting unhealthy relationships]
#10 Selfish, selfish, selfish. As if you didn’t know, relationships are all about the give and take. If you claim to be in a serious relationship with your partner yet find yourself unable to give back emotionally you may be in a karmic disaster. Same goes for when your partner can’t be bothered to hear about your day or tickle your arm the way you like even though you’d totally do it for them.