We all know the concept of friends with benefits. But is it really a good idea to be having sex with friends? You might just be surprised.
I think everyone has had a friend with benefits at some point in their lives. It’s like a part of life. It’s like going through puberty or having sex for the first time. It’s kind of like a rite of passage that tons of people go through when they’re just figuring out what they want.
Because maybe they don’t want a relationship at that point in their lives. Maybe they just want to hook up and have a healthy sex life without all the drama of a relationship. But does that mean having sex with friends is a good idea?
Why do people have sex with friends?
There are a ton of people who think you should only be having sex with people you’re really connected to in an emotional way. So why is that some people decide to forgo the whole “falling in love first” thing and just get down with a friend?
Well, because they can’t find someone they feel for emotionally, but they still want to have sex because, well, it feels good! Or maybe it’s because they want to have sex but only with someone they really trust – which would be a good friend. [Read: How to have sex with a friend: The step by step guide]
Is it a good idea to have sex with friends?
Now, just because you trust them and care about them more than you would a stranger, that doesn’t mean it’s always a good idea to be sleeping with them. Why? Because having sex complicates everything.
If you’re debating whether or not to have sex with friends, you may want to consider these pros and cons first. Skipping a relationship and getting hot and heavy in the sheets may not be the thing you really need in your life.
#1 You trust them. This is a no-brainer. Honestly, it’s a little risky hooking up with a stranger and allowing them full access to you and your belongings in your home. The great thing about having sex with friends is that you know them, trust them, and can let your guard down.
#2 It’s convenient. You don’t have to go through the process of getting to know them and feeling safe with them. It’s convenient that way. You can just make the decision and then go for it. It’s quick, easy, and worry-free.
#3 There’s no relationship drama. You know what I’m talking about. There’s no jealousy. No drama. You don’t have to worry about keeping in touch with them or updating them on your day. You get to have all fun of the sex in a relationship without all the issues involved.
#4 You’re not afraid to tell them what you want. Having sex with friends is awesome because you’re not afraid of telling them what you like in bed. With a random person, or even someone you’re in a relationship with, there’s always that fear of judgment. With a friend, however, that’s completely gone. [Read: Having sex with your best friend – how to make up your mind]
#5 There are not the same risks as hooking up with a stranger. You know your friend hasn’t hooked up with a shit ton of people, and you know they’re STD-free. That, and you don’t have to risk them lying about birth control or any other contraceptive methods because you actually know them.
#6 You already get along. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be friends. This is great because having sex with someone you get along with is always way more fun than hooking up with someone you can’t stand.
#7 You can practice getting great in bed. This is a really great part about having sex with friends. You can get really, really good at sex, so when the right person does come along, you can wow them with your extensive skills.
As you can imagine, having sex with friends can definitely open the doors to a bit of trouble. Here are the downsides and risks to having sex with friends. They may dissuade you from going through with it. [Read: How to get a fuck buddy – Everything you need to know]
#1 You could develop feelings. This is the obvious reason you shouldn’t have sex with friends, and it’s a bad idea. Really, do you want to develop feelings for someone who’s just a friend when you don’t even want a relationship? It can cause heartache and emotions that you’re not ready to handle.
#2 And they may not be reciprocated. This really hurts. If you start having feelings for someone and they don’t feel the same, it can really make the sex bad and actually hard for you. Plus, you miss out on all the benefits of NOT having feelings for the person you’re sleeping with.
#3 It could make the friendship awkward. You have to be VERY secure in your friendship, because if you’re not, it’ll make stripping down and getting naked with them really awkward – especially if you don’t end up LIKING having sex with them. If you’re ready for this risk, then go right ahead! If not, hold off on sleeping with them.
#4 You may ruin the friendship. If things go south when you… go south, the relationship could be ruined. There’s always the risk of losing a friend when you cross that line and sleep together. Sometimes it’s not a problem at all, but other times, you could end up having issues and losing a really good friend. [Read: Friend to lover – are you falling for a friend?]
#5 You’ll still crave emotional intimacy. Having sex doesn’t fill the emotional void that most humans crave. We need that closeness with someone in order to feel fully satisfied and happy.
Therefore, if you feel lonely and that’s why you want to have sex with friends, doing so won’t fix that. You’ll be sexually satisfied, but you’ll still crave that emotional connection with a person.
#6 It’s not as satisfying. Sure, it feels good. But one of the best parts about sex is feeling emotionally connected to someone and sharing something really important with someone you care about. You may be pleased physically, but you’ll find that after a while, you start to feel less and less satisfied. [Read: Sleeping with a friend – The no-regrets guide to doing it right]
#7 Other friends may treat you differently. More than likely, you’re both in the same friend group, and chances are that if your friends find out, they’ll start looking at the both of you differently. They’ll either act awkward around you or even start treating the two of you like a couple – which can be really annoying if you’re only having sex.