Dating Material Vs a Hookup – 12 Ways to Split Them Up

dating material vs hookup material

How do you know if your new fling has what it takes to be your new beau? Here are 12 ways to decide if they are just a hookup or someone worth dating.

Everybody goes through this phase: the one where you have to decide if your current hookup has what it takes to become your new special someone. There are always signs that point to whether someone could be your new beau or should just remain a hookup.

I’ve made the big mistake of taking a one night stand to the next level, when a single night was more than enough. Taking a one-time date to the next level may seem like a good idea—but can quickly turn sour.

While you might care for this person and want to make them your significant other, it doesn’t change the fact that some people just aren’t significant other material. Ultimately, the decision is yours; however, with our help, perhaps you can know for sure. [Read: Is your guy boyfriend material or fling material?]

How to determine if they’re dating material or if they should just remain a hook-up

So what are the signs you should be looking for when it comes to this difficult decision? We have looked high and low and put together a series of comparisons for you to decide whether they’re dating material or just a hook-up.

Dating Material Characteristics – everything that shows they could be something more!

#1 You actually want something more. Do you want to take things from a simple hookup to actually calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend? If you have feelings that are more than just a little fling, then you obviously think they could be something more. Developing feelings for someone you’re just hooking up with is a surefire sign they could potentially be significant other material.

#2 They actually want to talk to you. Sounds pretty standard, right? What I mean is that they talk to you even though there are no plans to hookup soon. They talk to you throughout the day just to see how your day is going, what you’re up to, or just because they want to have a conversation with you.

This behavior shows that they are interested in you for more than your killer bedroom skills. By keeping in touch with you without an ulterior motive, they are proving that they could be more than just a hookup. Bonus points if they ask you about your family and intimate details about your life! [Read: 8 subtle signs your fling is turning into a relationship]

#3 You have more in common than just bumping uglies. If they’re engaging in extended conversation and you realize that you have more in common than just getting naked together, it could be a sign that something more may develop.

People who are dating material are people who are similar to you and can engage in activities aside from sex. If you have a lot in common and enjoy many of the same shows and activities, it’s a sign that he or she just might be dating material.

#4 You want to tell people about them. I’m talking to all of you ladies out there! We all know you like to gush about your person of interest. And if you’re doing so, then you must think they have the potential to be something more.

If you’re simply hooking up with someone without thinking about making them yours for good, you don’t go around telling all of your friends about them. The fact that you feel the need to talk about them suggests you care for them more than just a little fling. And for you fellas out there – if you’re telling your buddies about that special someone *other than your hookup details* then she’s already proved she’s dating material. [Read: 9 signs it’s time to make your relationship official]

#5 You can see a future with them. Even if it’s just the two of you hitting the town together on a special date night, envisioning the future means that you’ve already been thinking about dating them and engaging in more than just a few nights of fun.

If they’re dating material, you will be able to see yourself with them romantically instead of a casual hookup here and there. Visualization is a huge part of being able to tell whether or not someone is dating material. If you can imagine it happening, chances are that it can become reality. [Read: Are you in love? 21 crystal clear signs to decode that fuzzy feeling]

#6 They want to show you off. Do they want to take you to an actual restaurant or out on the town with their friends? Then they’re definitely dating material. Anyone who wants to show you off to the world and be by your side is someone who would make a great special someone.

Hookup Characteristics – How to tell if you should just stick to getting freaky in the sheets.

#1 You two only really talk when it’s time to plan the next hookup. This is the most important sign that you should just stick with hooking up and not take anything further with this person. If they can’t even take the initiative to get to know you past your private bits, they shouldn’t have the luxury of dating you.

#2 You keep quiet about them. If you really thought this person could be something more than just someone you spend your nights with, then you would be talking your friends’ ears off about them. You would want to tell people how great they are.

So, if you find yourself lying about your whereabouts, or just not talking about this person in general, it’s a sign that they should remain where they are in your life. [Read: 16 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship]

#3 You have absolutely nothing in common. If you have nothing in common, other than the fact that you both enjoy each other’s bodies, dating is a no-go. If you two have had a conversation other than making plans, you’ve likely discovered that you really don’t have anything in common. How could you make a hookup your significant other when you don’t have anything in common?

#4 You just don’t have feelings for them. There’s a difference between wanting to take someone’s clothes off and having feelings for them. Oftentimes, people who are just hookups or little flings don’t ever develop feelings for each other. If you find you’re not really into them intellectually, or you just don’t have intimate feelings for them, then they’re definitely going to remain in the “hookup” category. [Read: 18 things girls do that makes guys assume they’re an easy lay]

#5 You see this as a short-lived relationship. Or, in other words, you don’t see an extensive future with this person. If you’re describing them to your friends with a shrug or waving off their questions altogether, then this person is not someone you actually see yourself with other than in between the sheets.

If this person was dating material, then you would be able to see yourself dating them, growing, and forming a relationship with them. If you’re not even thinking about continuing anything further with them, they’re definitely just a hookup. [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules you need to remember]

#6 You wouldn’t be able to handle them in a relationship. Anything and everything you’ve got to know about them has told you that you definitely could not date them. Whether it’s the way they chew their food, their life goals, or even just their little habits you’ve picked up on so far, if they drive you nuts, there is no way this person could possibly be dating material. Keep them firmly in hookup territory so you can leave their strange habits behind when you leave. [Read: Dating your one night stand – Easy or sleazy?]

The line between a hookup and someone with real dating potential can be thin at times. Luckily, you can use this list to determine whether or not you should take it to the next step!

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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4 thoughts on “Dating Material Vs a Hookup – 12 Ways to Split Them Up”

  1. Natalie says:

    Seeing a future with a hookup has dangerous consequences. It’s important not to start romanticizing thoughts way too early because they’re likely only going to get you hurt in the end. However, this list is otherwise great for looking at some key indications on whether or not someone is actually worth dating for something more serious. I’m big on wanting to tell people about the other. When you’re willing to get your friends and family involved, then there’s probably something there that’s worth exploring. Keeping someone on the quiet? Yeah, move right along. It’s pretty hurtful when that ugly little fact comes to light.

  2. Victoria says:

    You are right sometimes it is difficult or the line is thin between the two cases. I have had both and I think I have battled wanting to keep my hook up a secret and at times wanting to take him to the next level and be seen with him where my family and friends can be privy. Still the fact that the deeper things that sustain a relationship I don’t think we click in and the times we have tried to extend our time together has been short lived. I do have feelings for him but I think they are good exactly where they are as I cannot deal with or control the things that really matter to me.

  3. Mary says:

    I really think it depends upon you if you want to be a hook up or a dating material kind of girl. It would take some time for you to realize what you really want to be but let’s take for example, you want to be the dating material type. You would need to be the person who is a keeper. It’s the type of person worth keeping, you know what I mean? You have to develop yourself in a way that would package your whole personality that says that, “Hey, I can be your wife and I can take care of you”. That’s the type guys want you to be if you want to be dating material. I mean, all guys have a type but generally, men would really go for women who are indeed wife material. Dating material is for the long term versus being a hook up, short term. I really think that being just a hook up girl is really degrading and don’t really suggest that to women. I really want women to think of the long term and be the person men want to marry. You have to be a strong independent woman who knows her direction in life and doesn’t need to rely on anybody but of course has a support system because in order to be a sane human being, you need a support system and that would be your family and friends. I really think that you should all think this over and decide whether you want to be dating material or JUST a hook up.

  4. Presum says:

    By starting out as friends and letting the friendship grow organically into a relationship. Why wouldn’t you want to be friends with someone before deciding whether or not to give dating a try? I apparently had a will they-won’t they thing going on with my boyfriend for a year before we actually started dating, to the point that our mutual friends had no idea when we actually got together because they just assumed we’d been together long before that. And we both agree that it was nice to have that level of familiarity there, because we didn’t feel like we had to try hard to impress each other once our feelings came to the forefront. It’s like we beat the nightmare that is dating in NYC. And out of the three serious relationships I’ve had, all three have started this way.

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