Break Up Sex and 10 Circumstances where it Works

break up sex

So you’ve broken up… but can you have sex one last time before saying goodbye? Here are 10 scenarios where break up sex is completely acceptable!

If you were to ever ask your friend if break up sex is a good idea, chances are, they’ll jump down your throat and tell you that you’re mad for even thinking it!

But is that really such a bad idea?

Do all couples just break up in the heat of the moment and walk away from each other, never ever wishing they could have shared a moment of intimacy one last time, for old time’s sake?

[Read: Sex with an ex – The good and bad sides of getting back with an ex just for sex]

Is something wrong with you for even thinking it?

Really, why on earth is breakup sex bad?

Sometimes, break up sex just happens out of the blue.

You don’t plan to have it, you don’t think it, you’re sitting together one moment and you break up.

And before both of you know it, you’re in bed having the wildest sex of your relationship!

What is break up sex?

Break up sex is the infamous last round of sex you have with a lover after both of you decide to call off the relationship and break up.

Most couples don’t do it *probably because they’re not in the right place to do it!

But have you ever kissed a lover one last time before saying goodbye?

Chances are, that last goodbye kiss that’s so full of passion, hunger and love felt really good, didn’t it?

Break up sex isn’t all bad. But are you emotionally mature to differentiate break up sex from make up sex? That makes all the difference! [Read: How to make up after a fight with sexy make up sex]

The bad side of break up sex

Before I get to talking about the good side of break up sex, you really need to understand the complications it could bring into your break up. And once you know them, you need to ask yourself if you’re ready to jump into bed one last time to share a few moments *or hours* of passionate sex with each other.

The most confusing part about break up sex is the fact that it will always make you wonder if both of you should just get back together. The break up sex feels so good, and it’s so overwhelming and intense.

The thought that it’s the last time you’re doing it with this person can leave you pretty emotional. It’s like knowing that it’s your last day on earth together, and somehow, when you wake up the next morning, things would never ever be the same again.

Break up sex brings all the emotions of your relationship and squeezes it into a few hours where both of you make love to each other one last time. Can you really handle all that emotional outburst? [Read: 13 rebound sex questions to know if you’re ready for break up sex]

You may feel worse while having break up sex

You may cry because you feel so intensely in love. You may dig your nails deep into your lover’s back and make them bleed because you want to hurt them. You may bite harder than ever because you want to leave a love bite that scars them for life. You may feel hurt and betrayed because they’re leaving you forever. And you may feel used because you’re having sex with someone who will not love you once they orgasm!

And that’s not it, if you’re not emotionally prepared to let your lover go, it may even delay the healing process. If you do end up having break up sex with your lover, you need to remember that this isn’t a romantic reconciliation. It’s all about the relationship going down in a blaze of glory! [Read: 10 worst people you have have a one night stand with!]

The good side of break up sex

There’s a lot of bad in break up sex, but it’s not all bad. Every relationship is different, and every lover wants to end things in a different way. Let’s look at a hypothetical situation to see the good side of break up sex.

If a very good friend of yours dies in the middle of the night and you never got to say goodbye, how would you feel? Would you always wonder how it would have been if you could have 24 hours more to spend with them?

A romantic relationship thrives on two aspects, emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy. And if you had to say goodbye to your lover forever, what better way to say it and get closure than by experiencing emotional and sexual intimacy, and moving on forever, having said goodbye to each other one last time, as lovers? [Read: 14 things to keep in mind when you bump into your ex again]

10 scenarios where break up sex works like a charm!

If you’re contemplating about having break up sex with your lover or an ex that you’ve broken up with a few days or weeks ago, take a look at these 10 scenarios where it’s acceptable to have break up sex. And if you find yourself in any of these 10 circumstances, it may not be such a bad idea to end it all with one final passionate goodbye!

#1 You want closure. Both of you have broken up a few days or weeks ago, but somehow, it just feels like it all happened so abruptly. Angry break ups can be hasty at times, and even if both of you acknowledge the fact that it’s over for good, there are times when it can feel like it all happened too fast.

If you’re ready to move on, but just need closure because your relationship feels like unfinished business, perhaps, it won’t be such a bad idea to meet up at your place for a last happy conversation and break up sex! [Read: Break up conversation tips – How to break up with someone you love without hurting them]

#2 The break up is mutual. You and your partner don’t see the relationship going anywhere, and have decided to call it quits on mutual understanding. There’s no hate or misery here. You may feel sad about breaking up, but you know there’s no other way to go. Both your lives may be heading in different directions or there may be nothing in common anymore, and it’s easier to just part ways than live in denial.

#3 You don’t want to stay friends. Both of you have decided to break up, but both of you still have feelings for each other. You may end up making out or having break up sex, because there’s so much love and hate in the air. If one of you still has feelings for the other person, you can have break up sex as long as both of you delete each other from your lives. After all, staying in touch with each other would just lead to an awkward friends-with-benefits relationship. [Read: 16 scenarios where you can and can’t be friends with an ex]

#4 The love has just faded away. You live together or meet up all the time. But both of you feel like good friends and not passionate lovers. You may love each other deeply, but there’s just no spark in the romance anymore. And one or both of you want more out of love, especially the passion and sexual excitement of a real romance. [Read: 15 reasons why most couples get bored with their relationship]

#5 Both of you have found other lovers. Both of you are dating each other, but are having emotional affairs or real affairs with other people *this is more common than you think!* But if only one of you are having an affair or you catch your partner cheating on you, your break up sex would just turn into a confusing love triangle because you’d still be in love with this person and would be using sex to get your ex back instead of getting over them! [Read: 18 signs you may be having an emotional affair and not even know it!]

#6 Long distance relationship breakup. Long distance relationships are very hard to hold on to. It needs a lot of effort, trust, assurances, and occasional meetings to keep it alive. But if a few weeks turn into several months or years, and there’s no surety that both of you would ever meet up again, it’s better to meet one final time, have break up sex and end the relationship for good instead of leading two separate lives that are full of bitterness and mistrust. [Read: The right way to make long distance relationships work for you]

#7 There’s no heartbreak. Both of you have drifted away and have different priorities in life, and as hard as both of you have tried to hold the relationship together, the relationship just seems to be inching closer to failure. If your relationship has reached the point where you and your partner don’t feel bad about separating, and instead are actually looking forward to a separation, break up sex may at least bring forth a few tender of moments of love before calling it quits. [Read: 12 reasons why most couples drift apart over time]

#8 You’re not emotionally manipulated into it. If you want to have break up sex, do it because you want to do it. Don’t let your lover manipulate you into it with their seductive charm. Break ups hurt, and it’s easy for those last hugs to turn to passionate kisses, which may turn into something a lot more sexual.

Break up sex won’t hurt you as long as you realize what you’re getting into, a final show of affection before the curtains go down. But if you aren’t ready for it, or if things happen too quickly, stop your partner and pause for a while to make up your mind first. [Read: 16 signs your ex wants you back in their lives]

#9 The circumstances are forcing both of you into a breakup. This happens all the time. You’re in a happy relationship, but external circumstances push both of you apart. It could be a job in another state or country, or some other life altering circumstance. And both of you understand that it’s easier to part ways than try to make the relationship work through the tough odds.

#10 It just happens. You don’t expect it and you don’t plan it, but one thing just leads to another. If you ever find yourself in a situation like this, don’t pull your hair out or hate yourself for it. Perhaps, it was just an emotional outburst that was welling up inside of you. But now that it’s over and you’ve had break up sex, just try to remember that the relationship’s over and the right thing to do is stay away from each other. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule is the best way to get over an ex]

Should you have breakup sex one last time before saying goodbye?

If you think he or she is the one, you’ll feel really bad for letting them slip through your hands, and possibly into the hands of someone else. So if you do have break up sex, do it only if you’re completely ready to let go of them.

Most people misunderstand the idea of break up sex and use it to manipulate their lover into staying back in the relationship by begging them or pleading with them. But you have to remember that you can’t hold someone back or force them to love you if they choose not to. [Read: If you love someone, should you ever just let them go?]

Break up sex is a great way to say goodbye if you’re emotionally mature and see it for what it is, without any expectations from it. But if you see it any other way, break up sex may leave you feeling more miserable than ever!

[Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back from moving forward]

So do you think you have what it takes to have break up sex? Would you ever have break up sex with a lover? After all, it’s not something many people can experience and walk away without a scar!

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Christopher Villa
Christopher Villa
A tortured artist, Christopher Villa enjoys dissecting human behavior, admiring and scorning them at the same time. While he does admit he has a one-track mind ...
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3 thoughts on “Break Up Sex and 10 Circumstances where it Works”

  1. srgs says:

    Great article! I completely agree that both parties should realise the meaning of break up sex before actually doing it.

  2. wor says:

    I broke up with my ex 7 times before we finally did break up and the moment we finally did break up is the time we didn’t have break up sex. Break up sex just brings back the feeling that you want to get from your partner and doesn’t really hide the reasons why you shouldn’t be with them. I mean, the reasons are all so pretty clear and it is literally written out for you so that you could read it but you just act blind and agree to another break up sex knowing that it will just get you back with each other. We use sex to describe our relationships when love should really be what matters. We are all glorifying lust and it’s really disgusting to me. Most niggas now, most certainly interchange love and lust. They think love is lust but lust is never love, my nigga. It’s really not and you should stop fantasizing about your hook up and think that it’s true love. You don’t have sex with someone and just say that you are in love with them. My nigga, you are just lusted over them and not in anyway in love. Stop being so damn stupid.

  3. N o says:

    I never really understood break up sex. My last ex kept asking and asking to have break up sex and while I didn’t want to, I eventually succumbed to the pressure of his asking. I wanted to cry the whole time we did it. I just wasn’t attracted to him anymore and there was no emotional connection. I had already had my closure and it was just awkward and sad. I should’ve listened to my instincts and said no.

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