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Are You More than Friends or Just Friends?

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At times, without really realizing it ourselves, we get closer and closer with a friend and before we know it, we’ve crossed the line of friendship into love. So are you more than friends or just friends? Find out.

are you more than friends

Ever feel like both of you are more than just friends?

Or do the people that both of you meet always assume that both of you are more than friends?

Do you want to know if you’re more than friends or just friends, or are you just confused completely and wondering where your relationship with a special friend is heading?

Use these pointers to lead the way into understanding the real status of your relationship.

So are you more than friends?

Sometimes, two friends can have so many happy things in common that a simple friendship could turn into something a lot more complex over time.

A great friend is a great companion, but a great lover makes a better companion. And who’s to fight that logic? After all, it’s the law of love.

If you’re perfect for each other, both of you will inevitably fall in love with each other, just as long as the friendship is great and there’s that perfect portion of secret attraction that bubbles under the surface.

So are you more than friends? Use these ten friend-to-lover facts to find out. [Read: Going from a friend to lover]

Both of you call each other every day

It may start of as an occasional call to keep in touch or exchange a bit of gossip. But over time, the calls get more frequent and last longer, and usually stretches late into the night. Soon enough, both of you can’t imagine going to bed without a long happy conversation ending with sweet dreams and dream-about-me conversations. Ever been there? Most good friends who are attracted to each other have.

Sharing secrets and opinions

Lovers finish each other’s sentences. Friends who are turning into lovers share their secrets and opinions. It’s exciting to talk about each other’s secrets and little dirty details that no one else knows about. So does your friend know you sleep in the nude? Or did you find out that your friend was wearing black underwear during last night’s long phone conversation? Friends who are attracted to each other can’t help flirting with each other, and they get pretty excited to share intimate secrets with each other. [Read: How to text flirt with a friend]

Overprotective about each other

Friends who are on the verge of going to more than friends are very protective of each other. Do you ask your friend to call you and let you know once they’ve reached home, or do either of you try to help the other person out of a sticky situation all the time?

Good friends help each other now and then or when asked, but friends who are more than friends try to be there for each other all the time, whether it’s buying new clothes, working on a pet project or picking a date.

New dates and jealousy

Is your friend very attractive? Of course, they are. Then chances are, they’re going to be getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex. And at times, your friend may be very excited to go out on a date with someone they’ve liked for a long time.

Do you get irritated if your friend goes out on a date with someone they like, or even talks about their date excitedly? Or does your stomach churn with anger if your friend makes out with someone on a date? If you find yourself getting annoyed with your friend when they have a good time with someone else, there’s a good chance you’re more than friends, or perhaps, overly possessive.

Spending weekends and holidays together

Groups of friend meet up in the evenings or during the weekends. When you meet your special friend, is it mostly just the both of you or are there other friends too? Weekends and holidays are a time of leisure and happy moments. If both of you meet up and spend a lot of time with each other, it’s obvious that both of you love spending time with each other and being with each other. Now if that’s not happy budding romance, what is? [Read: Is he in love with you?]

Go out on dates with each other

Now, of course, you don’t call these *dates* when you’re just friends. But you know what we mean here, don’t you? Do both of you go out a lot, just the two of you? If there’s a new movie in town or a new restaurant, does the first thought that pops into your head have your friend and you in it? Attractive friends who *date* each other often don’t do it because there’s no one else to go out with, they do it because they love sharing new experiences with each other. Ahem… definitely more than friends here. [Read: How to pick a date restaurant]

Give each other exclusive pet names

Do you and your friend have an exclusive pet name for each other? Pet names are given by people only when they feel an overwhelming surge of affection for each other. Pet names are rather personal and very affectionate. Friends don’t give each other pet names, friends who love each other do. [Read: Cute pet names and why we give them]

Extremely loyal to each other

Do you stand up for your friend no matter what? Or can both of you rely on each other for help or advice even if it’s the middle of the night? Friends trust each other, but there’s always a hint of uncertainty even in the best of friends.

On the other hand, when you’re in love, you expect your partner to be completely loyal to you and stand by you no matter what. When you’re in love, both of you try your best to be loyal to each other, and be there in each other’s time of need. And that’s one of the biggest reasons behind why love can also hurt so much, especially when there’s a breach in trust and loyalty.

So are both of you extremely loyal to each other? There’s a great chance that you’re both more than friends who also love each other a lot. [Read: How to know if you are in love]

A lot of petting and cuddling

This is one of the biggest signs that you’re more than friends. Do you spend most of your time holding hands or resting a head on each other’s shoulders? Interlocking of arms and occasional cheek kisses don’t really go well in a friendship. If you love cuddling up with your friend, you can’t really date someone else when you have your friend around. It would devastate your new date to see you and your friend cozying up. [Read: How to flirt by touching]

And seriously, why would you go cuddling up with a *friend* in the first place? Do friends even do that or do more-than-friends do that?

You want to kiss your friend

This can be a passing thought, but if it’s crossed your mind every time your friend cuddles up with you, seriously, you’re definitely more than friends. Friends don’t care about kissing each other or making out with each other. Nor do they make stupid pacts like “let’s get married to each other if we don’t find anyone else by the time we’re thirty”.

The fact that you’re considering your friend as a date potential definitely shows that you can see your friend as more than just a friend. And if you’re indulging in all the above signs, you’re both definitely more than just friends. [Quiz: Are you more than a friend?]

You’re more than friends, now what?

Now here’s the tricky part. Just because you’re both more than friends doesn’t really mean it’s heading towards true love and both of you will get married soon. It could get there, but all these emotions could also be one-sided and turn out to be limerence or even lust. [Read: Is it love or lust?]

In several cases, you may not really love a friend, but you may be curious to know how it could feel to go out with a friend with whom you’re quite close to. If these signs seem mutual, then you’re definitely on the happy path of more than friends. If not, ask yourself if you really want to be more than friends, or would you be happier being just friends without doing anything about it.

If you want to take it from a friendship to something more intimate, say something like “you know, I wonder why WE haven’t dated each other” to your friend, and they’ll know exactly what you mean. But want a foolproof way to ask a friend out? [Read: How to ask a friend out]

Use these ten steps to find out whether you’re both more than friends or just friends. And if you do know you’re more than friends, do something about it!


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Have your say!
  • David
    July 4, 2012 | Permalink |

    See, I know that me and my friend are more than just that. But we are just friends with benefits at the moment. And she has another guy friend that is similar, though she claims me to be the more important of the two. So yeah, we have this part down as being more than just friends, but how do I get her from being a bit more than friends to actually just dating me?

  • Dee
    October 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    Me and my friend,idk whr we r? We call each other friends with benefits,sometimes we flirt txt but nvr at night though. I wish. He’s rlly funny and I’ve known him since we were little but we’ve gotten serious. Like sometimes I’ll jst stare at my fone,hope tht he will send me message. When he does I feel so happy and jst wanting to tell him everythingXD!! I think us calling each other friends with benefits is cute cuz now ik tht we MIGHT jst more than friends!!!

  • Bel
    November 20, 2012 | Permalink |

    i asked him what he felt about me, he told me that i was special for him, we were more than friend. So i thought that he might ask me out very soon, but he did not . so i was very confused. what was he thinking?

  • Guy
    December 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    I am in an interesting situation with my best friend. I went to high school with her and didn’t really know very many people. So years past and her and connected on Facebook over the last three years off and on. About a year ago, I decided to message her and ask her “out”. She said “no,not yet.”I built a friendship and had some major medical problems and tried again, she said “yes”. We “hang out” all the time, either going to movies(at least once a week) or dinner. We message each other all the time and I will occasionally pop by her job with coffee to say hi. I now want out of the friend zone. How do I do this? Thanks

  • Sharon
    December 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    Me and this guy are really close, we act like a couple sometimes, and other days we act like we are just friends. We meaning him and me, we have talked about this situation before but it ended up in a huge as fight then we resolved it by saying that t will never happen again… Well that didn’t last long.. we are now friends with benefits and iv fallen in love with him. He’s been such a huge part of my personal life and he’s the only friend who has.. I don’t know what to do, We talk every day, now skyping, hang out heaps, we cuddle, everything that a couple does but WE ARE NOT, we are just friends according to him, I neeed help !!! we get jealous over each other when we are with another people. and we get worried over each other when something goes wrong…. what do I do!!!!

  • A
    February 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    This helped me a lot… I know someone likes me and I love her! But, she’s a huge ball of confusion.

    We were dating not too long ago and she was bisexual. (We’re both girls). She broke up with me because she was still getting over her ex girlfriend. She said she still liked me a few months later and then like a week afterwards she said she’s straight. She does everything in this post, especially the cuddling and overprotective feelings. I do the same. Recently some friends, her, and I were playing truth or dare and she said she wasn’t sure of her sexuality. Her and I got intimate and teased each other last weekend when we were all alone, I rubbed her thighs (her turn on spot) and she rubbed mine, she even moaned a bit and was panting for me. She said she was really turned on and wants to do it again, she said she never wanted to leave when we did it…

    Does this mean she’s not straight and likes me still or am I in over my head?

  • April 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have this wonderful guy friend,& what’s so great is we like each other alot. when other strange men come near me he comes over and walks them far away from me.i gave him my number in return but that was 2wks ago.He’s just recently divorced so i should give him more time. He treats me like im already his girlfriend.i love him alot im willing to wait,but i want to tell him i miss him when i don’t see him for 3 days.please! I cant sleep most of the time because of me loving him so much.my knees get real week when im around him.i believe im inlove with him.

  • Eye Reen
    April 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well what can you say about a guy friend who usually call you late at night and talk for hours, serenade you with a song, laugh with you, leave his work just to talk with you, asking you to take care and still don’t court you. He’s been like that for almost a month now but still doesn’t do anything. What he is up to? he doesn’t have any girlfriend and he mention to me he is not ready for a relationship and yet the way he treats me I feel so special. My friends told me I’m lucky to have him and there is a possibility that he likes me back but was just holding. I’m confused!!!

  • gates
    June 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    Me and my bestfriend have been close for 10 years and now she just move pretty much next door to me well while that has happens she was setup with some other guy and it hit me like meteor on how I felt so I opened up and got rejected but yet when I told her that I would be leaving town to go clear my head (they’re also lot of issue in my life ATM which she knows that influence the leaving decision). She got extremely upset which I don’t get cuz we both do almost all the things mentioned above. Got any feed back for me on how to think about it

  • Lynn Morrissette
    June 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    Me and my FWB have known one another for 20 plus years…I went to a bar with the guy I live with in April of this year…I saw my old friend and we started flirting…the following Monday we hooked up, and what started out as 3-4 times a week has now become more…I’ve spent the night, we go to dinner, spend time on the weekends bar hopping at the cool spots, went shopping etc…..I’ve gone over just to hang and not had sex….I cook him dinner quite a bit, we’ve taken his dog to my vet….tonight I shaved his chest and other parts…he texts me before he heads to work, and when he gets off…….he has told his friends about me and I’ve mentioned him to mine as well….when I spent the night, he held me all night long…BUT, there is one thing we’ve never,ever done, and that’s kissed…he has really bad teeth and I suspect that is why……I don’t feel love for him, BUT, there is something between us and it’s not lust…I’m miserable with out him and smile when he texts or calls me…We are both over 50 and are not naive…I just wish I knew what is going on!!! HELPPPP

  • Patti Davis
    August 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have a HUGE problem. I am presently “just friends” with an ex-boyfriend who I met over 35 years ago. We fell madly and crazily in love and left our spouses for each other ,were together for about seven years and then broke up after planning to marry. He was absolutely the love of my life, and I never really got over him. I was crazy for him, and he for me, and I was devastated when we broke up. We just met at the wrong place, wrong time then. Fast track to five years ago, 30 years later. My parents somehow kept running into my ex-boyfriend everywhere. It was so strange. He asked about me and told my parents he was married and had been for ten years. They told him I was married also. I wanted to see him after all these years so I called him at his work and he was so happy to hear from me. That started the “friendship”. First calling when we were not around our spouses, telling each other our innermost secrets, etc., talking about when we were together (the passion and sex 30 years prior was out of the stratosphere, and we were both so in love with each other). We were both in some pretty messed up marriages, too, and talked about our similar awful situations We laughed and talked for hours and hours, but we were with our spouses so were “just friends”. He started calling me every single day, and if I didn’t or he didn’t answer, we knew not to call as our spouses may be around. We felt they wouldn’t understand us being friends. I knew my husband wouldn’t. We simply had to talk to each other every day or we felt incomplete. He said we shouldn’t feel guilty because we were not having sex and kept insisting “we’re just friends helping each other”. We would talk for five hours at a time. There is no sex involved because we are now separated from both our spouses, but still legally married. About a year ago, we started doing “couple” things like dinner, movies, taking long rides, even going out of town together and everywhere we go they treat us like a couple. Since we are now separated from our spouses, we spend a lot of time together now; he is even planning to take me out of town with him for the holidays this year! We are also jealous of each other giving attention to someone else, and we fly off the handle. Yet he says I’m his “road dog” and “pardner”. We get in heated arguments sometimes, but will always call the next day and apologize to each other, just like boyfriend and girlfriend.. Our families think we ARE NOT just friends, but we insist that we are. We flirt with each other, have not even kissed yet, but I am now totally in love with him again. He is still grappling with feelings for his estranged wife, but I know there is something between us, but he’ll joke and say if we have sex he’d have to marry me and then we wouldn’t be friends anymore. WHAT DO I DO? t, It’s so obvious to both of us that something is happening, but we are avoiding talking about it. We cannot continue like this, and the situation needs to be addressed. We have not slept in the same room or bed yet, and I don’t think we can do that without having sex in the future Is this a case where I’m in love and he’s not? Is he stringing me along because he’s lonely he’s hurt and confused and just needs me to be there? I have been like a wife to him, and now I want to tell him how I feel, but I’m afraid to. Is he taking advantage of me? I need some advice fast, as I think I will wind up disappointed and hurt (Note: Surprise – we are not dating others at the moment and we are much older now. I’m not down for game-playing at this time in my life)

  • Olivia
    October 18, 2013 | Permalink |

    I m confused.. I met a guy… he ask me if I cn spend tym wid him in weekends… and he said he had some expectation from me…can any1 tel me wats going on…

  • guy
    November 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    hey i have a story. ok here it goes i havent been with anyone since my ex gf last november because i didnt want to be with anyone and still kinda liked her. we use to work together and eerything was great. but some stuff happened we got into an argument of trust after i stopped working were she worked and then i got really sick and lost had to quit my job due to ra and other sudden illnesses. seriously… it was just terrible and she didnt care and still liked me so we kept seeing eachother for about 3 more months rarely.. then i told her not to worry about me i would be fine.. well here we are in november and im talking to another girl and i like her alot kinda its just wierd how this all started recently i feel like somthings going on because she likes me alot and always misses me and i feel the same way but i just got so much stuff to catch up on.. i don even have a job i been hopin around for like a year. and get this right before i met my recent . the ex who moved 2000 miles away i contacted her because i heard she was having a hard time.. now both of these women want the same thing i think.. and they are friends on fb but the recent says they never are talk which is believable i guess. its just a wierd situation because after i contacted my ex she was gonna come and stay with and i had a job… then i lost my job and know i need to find work before i can go any further.. so i told her i couldn help her atm and thats when i met this other girl..its just crazy cuz we like eachother alot but not love or lust we are just good friends who enjoy each others company and we both want somthing to happen.. i just feel like i rushed it a little i duno why cause my head just isnt thinking right.. and now i just feel like finding a job again.. i have had jobs all my life but i have a condition its only happened twice.. both times at jobs i really needed. basicly i have like zero confidence and dont wanna waste anyones time i just wanna do my thing and get going again looking for work bills are piling up.. its just hard to understand why all of this is going on right now because.i like this new girl alot but i just have trouble showing it so i treat her like a friend and flirt a little bit and everything is going fine between us i just dont wanna lose her and i feel like it might happen or has already happened and we are just both ignoring it.. shes just such a great friend and i wann a take it slow but i think we might just turn into strays…or just friends.. which would suck but i guess these things happen.. shes just so sweet i cant tell if she likes me she cooks for me and everything laughs with me snuggles hugs. and we only been talkin in person for a week.. its like shes to good to be true.. sometimes i hate when i meet people at the wrong time in my life esp ially when they are potential partners good ones at that very good. oh and btw we use to work together like 2 years ago but i was with my ex.. and now everybody knows everybody.. i just feel pressured i have so much stuff to do and i am kinda lazy.. this is why i dont date or have girls as friends i think im ocd.. i have to have everything in my life right before i can relax.. and right now my father is helping me out in life but he is disabled vet.. if i could just afford to live on my own i think i would be fine.. who knows but yea i hope this relationship goes well

  • Eve
    November 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    I think they should include something about the long term friendships that when one of them gets a bf/gf, the bf/gf always gets jealous of the friend. This is what happens every time with one of my best friends abd we’ve been friends for more than 5 years. Also the thing about getting married when you’re older it’s so true, the problem is that you do it in a really naive way, well at least in my case. Also I have to add that I kissed him several times (always drunk) but I knew exactly what I was doing

  • Aaron
    November 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have known my best friend for five year and recently we have become a lot closer, like her coming over to my house and stays there all day long and does nothing but smile and laugh and is constantly near me and we have always have hugged in the past year all the time.I started to always think about her and she always brighten days. so I don’t know if I should ask her out or anything. even when everyone has asked if we are dating or if we are together. She gets a big grin on her face because of it. So should I ask her out?

  • a sweet guy
    January 11, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hi,’

    I have my friend do this everything to me whatever has been mentioned here. I proposed her a few weeks back. She was normal for one week and then told me that she cant be more than frnds with me. So any idea of how to get to know if she had really refused me. I again repeat that each of the clue that has been mentioned here has been happened with me with this girl. Please reply…

  • Jayde
    January 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am not completely sure if I am more than friends with my crush, we play around a lot but occasionally he just doesnt seem into me

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