Wondering how to be friends with benefits without the complications? Read these 25 friends with benefits rules that can make all the difference. By Jessica Dawson
Being friends with benefits with someone can seem like a dream come true.
Especially if you’re not interested in anything more than a satisfying romp.
But a few good movies and a few bad stories from friends could have taught you a few things about the infamous FWB relationship.
You can’t have the cake and eat it too.
But if that’s exactly what you want to do, here are some things you need to keep in mind.
Friends with benefits rules that make a difference
Met a cute hottie who seems equally interested in your appearance or your bedroom manners?
Well, here are a few things you need to get into your head before getting into each other.
#1 Don’t fall in love. This is the biggest rule and the easiest one to remember. Don’t fall in love. But then again, this is also the hardest one to follow.
#2 Have emotional maturity. Understand what kind of a relationship you’re getting into right from the start. There isn’t supposed to be a happy ending. Be satisfied with a satisfying ending.
#3 Set ground rules. How often should both of you call each other and how often should you meet? These rules aren’t set in stone, but both of you must make a conscious effort to follow it.
#4 Don’t get clingy for attention. Your friend with benefits isn’t your lover. Don’t constantly call them or try to make a conversation when you have nothing better to do. [Read: Signs of a clingy lover and tips to avoid it]
#5 Keep it a secret. Don’t talk to your friends about it. Gossip has a funny way of spreading within minutes after you tell a friend about it. You’ll end up pissing your friend with benefits or getting a bad reputation.
#6 Don’t sleep with two friends from the same group. It’s too risky and you may get caught, especially if both of them are trying to exchange sly smiles and sneaky glances with you, or worse, trying to reach out to your crotch from under the table at the same time.
#7 Don’t be overenthusiastic. Yes, you get to have a no strings relationship with someone. Yeah, good for you! But keep that libido and enthusiasm down or you’ll end up getting bored or scaring your screw buddy away.
#8 Don’t go on a date. You may be intimate with each other, but that’s no excuse to see each other in any place other than a bed. You’ll ruin the relationship.
#9 Distract yourself. Get interested in someone else as soon as you start having sex with your friend with benefits. It’ll take the option of falling for them out as long as you’re infatuated by someone else.
#10 Don’t stay in touch too often. Don’t try to find out about their personal life or have conversations about life and its problems. You’re into each other for sex and you really should avoid involving anything else. Call for one reason and one reason alone.
#11 Avoid sleeping with a good friend. As sexually attracted as you may be, avoid having sex with a good friend that’s good looking. You will lose that friend or both of you will hate each other within a few months.
#12 Remember how it ends. Both of you will almost always stray apart. Or end up having an affair when one of you is in another relationship and that can get really messy. Pick the first option. [Read: Conversation tips to end a relationship]
#13 Avoid anyone who’s seeing someone else. It may sound sexy and wicked and even give you an ego boost, but you’ll get caught or one of you will have to deal with a heavy bag of guilt that will ultimately be shared in the open.
#14 Mentally date someone else. Don’t talk about your personal lives with each other. But convince yourselves that the other person is actually dating someone else. It’ll help avoid falling for each other.
#15 Be honest. If you’re falling in love with your friend with benefits or feel like things are slipping out of hand, you owe it to your friend to at least let them know the truth so both of you can decide the course of the relationship. [Read: Signs you’re more than friends]
Things that can happen in a friends with benefits relationship
As fun as a perfect friends with benefits relationship could be to begin with, it does have a few bad sides too. I’d like to tell you that you can avoid any dark corners, but at some point of time, the bubble always has to burst.
#16 You can’t fall in love. You lose the chance of falling in love with someone who may be perfect for you. You may take a while to realize it, but even if you think your sex friend is the most charming person in the whole world, you really can’t do anything about it because it’s too late to retrace your steps.
#17 You may lose a great friend. If one of you have been hasty or made a few wrong decisions, both of you can’t do anything but walk away forever. Can you handle that?
#18 You could end up jealous or unhappy. As much as you may try to pretend like you don’t care, you may be upset if your friend dates someone else. And all this even though you know the ground rules.
#19 There may be a disease involved. No one likes talking about this part. But it’s something to be wary about, especially if your friend has a lot of active friends with benefits. And of course, you’re not going to talk about it because *you don’t care*, right?
#20 Romantic feelings will find a way. Romance always finds a way to crop up for one of you if the relationship lasts more than a few months. And trust me, both of you aren’t going to like where that road goes. [Read: Are you falling for a friend?]
Things to remember to prolong the relationship safely
#21 Are you slipping? If one of you find yourselves slipping or falling for the other person, end it at the first doubt. You really have no choice. Almost all the time, love is not an option. [Read: Signs to find out if you're in love or lust]
#22 Poke into the details. You may not like it, but get to know about your friend with benefit’s sexual partners at least by numbers instead of names so you know how active they are. Get a medical checkup now and then too, if there’s some suspicion in the air. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
#23 All good things come to an end. Firstly, a friends with benefits relationship isn’t a good thing. It’s a dangerous excuse to avoid commitment. But yeah, it’s a lot of fun though! At the end of it all, as fancy as it sounds, a friends with benefits relationship is almost always too good to be true. [Read: Ways to deal with a complicated relationship]
#24 There will always be doubts in the air. Even if both of you mutually fall in love with each other, would you be happy in the long term? Trust me, I’ve been there. You’d always doubt your friend’s fidelity. If you could get your friend to have sex with you so easily, can’t they have sex with someone else even though both of you are in a relationship?
#25 The bad ending. If you end it, you may infuriate your friend who may even want revenge. Unless you end the relationship nicely, there’s really never going to be a happy ending, for you or for your reputation. [Read: Tips to reject someone who likes you]
A friends with benefits relationship is always fun, as long as it lasts. Use these 25 friends with benefits rules to prolong the fun for as long as both of you safely can, and end it just before it’s too late.
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