Maybe you’ve been eyeing someone, but you’re just not sure and you wonder, what does sexual attraction feel like. It’s perfectly normal to be uncertain.
Not everyone is super experienced in the realm of dating and sexual intimacy. Good thing I’ve made every possible mistake in existence in this area, so rest assured, I’ll guide you down the right path. Sometimes, you’re just not sure about someone or what does sexual attraction feel like.
Take people who were once platonic friends and then ended up dating each other. At one point, there were not heavy feelings of sexual attraction between them. But then, one day, it hit them.
What does sexual attraction feel like?
After watching Sex in the City, you think sexual attraction is that feeling when you just want to rip off their clothes. And listen, it is that feeling as well. But it also comes in different forms.
Humans are weird, and sexual attraction can sometimes be a feeling that you don’t even notice. You know, we’re all different so one person’s reaction to sexual attraction differs to my reaction.
Let’s go into the realm of the unknown—queue intense music.
#1 Your body tells you. It’s crazy and you may not believe it if you have yet to experience it, but your body tells you. Don’t try to analyze it, though your brain is connected to your body, sexual attraction starts in the body, not in your head.
#2 Your body mimics who you’re attracted to. You won’t even notice that your body is doing this, but, if possible, pay attention to how your body reacts to certain people.
This mimicking is called interactional synchrony which is the foundation of how we communicate—through imitation. How do we teach babies to communicate? Imitating. How do we teach people to speak a language? Through imitation. Crazy, right?
#3 You feel physically warm. You know the feeling when you become embarrassed? You can feel the heat start up from your legs and shoot up your body. That’s the same feeling you get when you’re sexually attracted to someone.
Your body becomes warm, your heartbeat increases, and if you weren’t at your high school reunion, you would have ripped off their clothes by now. This is the sexual attraction that you’ll see in movies or when you had your first love. That intensity, yeah, that’s sexual attraction.
#4 Dopamine kicks in. That probably means nothing to you. First, you need to know what dopamine is. This chemical is produced in the brain and is basically responsible for you feeling sexual attraction. It makes you sexually aroused and the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
#5 You find yourself touching them. Maybe you don’t even realize it, but when you’re talking to them, you playfully touch their arm or when you laugh, you’ll touch their shoulder.
But, when I say playful touching, I mean playful touching. Sure, touching intimate places is an obvious sign that there’s sexual attraction, but that’s not respectful. We’re aiming for respectful and playful touching. Not sexual assault. [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]
#6 You remember the small details. It’s weird to think about this since we like to believe that whatever people tell us, we remember. However, if you’re sexually attracted to someone you remember the details they tell you. It’s called considerate memory.
Now, I’m not saying that this person remembers that when you were five you broke your arm, but they might remember how you like your coffee or what your favorite television show is. This is subconscious and actually helps create a non-threatening bond between you two.
#7 You feel like you’re being pulled by a magnet. What does sexual attraction feel like? I’m not gonna lie. It literally feels like you’re being pulled into them with a magnet. This isn’t some hippie crap I came up with, this is science. It’s called “cellular attraction” which means your cells are attracted to their cells. This makes you want to be physically close to them and touch them.
#8 You think about them when they’re not around. If you went on a date with someone and haven’t thought about them since you parted, well, that probably means it wasn’t a great connection. Maybe you had a good time, but there wasn’t that “click.” Now, the “click” I’m talking about could be a mental or physical connection.
I’ve experienced dates where I’ve mentally connected, but I didn’t feel physically attracted to them. So, if you’re not thinking about how they would be as a kisser or what they would look like on top of you naked, chances are that you’re not yet sexually attracted to them.
In this case, give it some time and go on another date with them so you can see how you feel. Sexual attraction can develop over time.
So what does sexual attraction feel like? Well, now that you know, be aware the next time you’re talking to someone that you like. Listen to your body and see how it reacts to sexual attraction. Have fun with it.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...