Rebound sex is a no strings attached sexual relationship between two people, and it involves at least one person who’s just had a break up.
It’s been said many times that the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else.
And a rebound relationship works around that idea.
You have a hard time holding yourself back from contacting an ex or thinking about them all the time, so you involve yourself in another relationship *purely sexual to prevent more emotional drama* to try and completely get over your ex by distracting yourself. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works!]
Yes, rebound sex works, and it can work very well too. But there are odd circumstances where rebound sex can actually rebound on you and have damaging results too!
The most common reasons for rebound sex
Before we get to finding out if you’re ready for rebound sex, you need to ask yourself why you’re really getting into one, and what you expect to get out of a rebound relationship with a stranger or a crush.
Here are 8 common reasons for rebound sex, and chances are, you may be experiencing one of these reasons in your life right now.
#1 It’s an excuse. You tell the world and yourself that you just need someone to get over your ex, but deep inside, you’re just looking for a good excuse to sleep with random people because you’ve felt so restricted when you were in the relationship.
#2 Revenge sex. You want your ex to burn. You want your ex to know you’re having sex with someone else and you’re hoping that it’ll piss them off *which it definitely will IF your ex is still in love with you* [Read: Is revenge sex ever worth the effort?]
#3 Mask the emotional pain. You think having sex with someone new will help you feel better and quell the emotional pain you feel inside.
#4 You want to break free. You just want to have fun. You’re sick and tired of wallowing in self pity and you just want to fill your life with adventure and fun all over again. [Confession: I can’t wait to be single again!]
#5 You’re horny. You crave sexual intimacy and you miss having sex. You want to hold someone in your arms and you want to experience the bliss of carnal pleasure, with someone… anyone!
#6 Distraction. Your ex is running circles in your mind 24/7 and you just want to fill that space with something else. You want to stop thinking about your ex and you’re ready to take that big sexual step to push your ex’s thoughts away from your mind.
#7 You’re being reckless. You don’t know what you want, you’re confused and reckless. You aren’t thinking through your decisions and you’re just going with the flow. Your friend’s told you rebound sex works, and you’re diving headfirst into it without thinking if it’s right for you. [Read: 10 signs you’re really love sick and 10 ways to get out of it]
#8 The ego boost. You’re feeling low on confidence and you feel like a complete loser. You think shacking up with a sexy someone on a one night stand will make you feel better about yourself.
Why do so many rebound relationships go wrong?
Rebound sex can be great to get over a break up. But instead of wondering if it’s good or bad, you need to focus on whether you’re ready for something like that. Of course, getting into the sack can help you get over someone *even if it’s just momentarily* but would you know where to draw the line?
#1 Can you disassociate sex from love? You may think this is easy. After all, you’re just having sex, and not falling in love, right? But for many of us, we feel an intense connection with the person as soon as we have passionate sex with them. And it gets worse if you’re a woman because women always have a harder time disassociating sex from love.
#2 Are you in a rational frame of mind? You may be a sweet and innocent thing just looking for a fling to heal your heart. But if you’re not sure what you want or can’t point a finger on why rebound sex is your best way to get over a break up, you may find yourself in the company of several people who use you to their advantage in your weak moment.
#3 Do you compare? Do you find yourself comparing your ex with your rebound all the time? Even if you like someone or are interested in hooking up with someone on a rebound, do you compare this person to your ex?
#4 Do you think a rebound will heal you? A rebound is a distraction, nothing more. Don’t jump into just about anyone’s bed in the hope that you’ll start to feel better as soon as you start having sex with them. It doesn’t work that way.
If you get into a rebound relationship with someone, you need to do it because the person you’re having sex with is fun and both of you share sizzling sexual chemistry. The sexual chemistry you feel may create a hint of infatuation, and the high of the infatuation will cheer you up.
#5 Have you found the right person for a rebound? You can’t have rebound sex with an older ex, or someone you like. There’s a big chance that the physical intimacy will turn into emotional intimacy very soon. The best person for a rebound is someone who understands your needs and doesn’t have any long term expectations from you. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to keep it just casual]
#6 Are you sure you want to move on? Have you decided to move on for good? Don’t use a rebound relationship to get back with your ex or to show them just how awesome you are. Use it to distract yourself and get your ex’s thoughts out of your mind.
#7 Can you overcome the guilt? If you still love your ex, you may feel terribly guilty when you have sex with someone else. Your mind may convince you that having sex with your rebound is cheating, especially when you’re in love with your ex. And if you didn’t like the sexual experience with your rebound, you may feel dirty and used. [Read: 16 scenarios when you can and can’t ever be friends with an ex]
#8 Are you excited to have a rebound relationship? Does that thought excite you and make you happy? If the idea of having sex with someone else, or even meeting someone else with the intention of having sex makes you happy, well, good for you. It’s a happy sign that you are indeed interested in moving on instead of pining over your ex.
#9 Can you avoid falling in love with this person? This is something you need to keep in mind. A person who is interested in your rebound arrangement is interested in you only because of the sex you’re offering them. You’re using them to get over your ex, and they’re using you to have sex with a hottie like you. The odds of something like this turning into mutual love are slim. Are you sane enough to differentiate love from a sexual arrangement? [Read: 19 sure signs of falling in love to watch out for!]
#10 Why do you want to do this? Be truthful to yourself, and don’t lie. You can have rebound sex with someone to get over an ex, but if that’s your only intention, you’ll only feel worse the very minute you orgasm. Use rebound sex as a distraction while your heart heals. Use the distraction to unhook the hooks that your ex has left behind in your heart. Rebound sex won’t heal you, time will.
#11 Are you sexually attracted to your rebound? You should be. If you’re having sex with someone you’re attracted to and like as a person, chances are, you’ll feel good about yourself. On the other hand, if you have sex with someone you’re not attracted to just for the sake of having rebound sex, you may not enjoy what you’re doing and you’d feel worse about yourself. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]
#12 Do you know where to draw the line? Many guys and girls who are looking for a rebound just don’t know this answer. They get carried away and end up throwing their lives away or risk getting stereotyped as the neighborhood slut.
Look at rebound sex has a discreet short term relationship with no strings attached, not as a one night stand where you hop and jump from one person to another. Remember, this is your weak moment, and there will always be several opportunists *people who have a crush on you, and even your friends!* waiting to use you and abuse you as soon as the word goes out that you’re looking for a casual fling.
#13 Do you think it’ll work for you? You’re the only person who can answer this. Rebound sex doesn’t work for many people because they’re not clear in the head before jumping into a fling.
Try to heal your broken heart and try to have a nice time by meeting friends and having fun with them. If that doesn’t work, you can try to look for a rebound as a last resort. After all, rebound relationships are effective, but they’re like landmines for a weak and broken heart! [Read: How to move on and deal with a break up with a smile]
Don’t rush into rebound sex
If you’re sure rebound sex is just what you’re looking for, approach the idea of rebound sex as a casual date. Take your time, flirt with your rebound, have fun and try to have a nice time when both of you are together instead of trying to make rebound sex seem like a sleazy arrangement. And chances are, you may start to feel better about yourself very soon.