I’ve been in love with my best friend and made all the wrong choices. But if you like your friend, here are a few things you can do to win them over. By Ethan Kent
The line between friendship and love is extremely thin.
Think of it, you share everything with a best friend that you’d share with a lover, the only exception being sexual intimacy.
And it’s so easy to get confused about your feelings, isn’t it?
If you have an attractive and charming best friend of the opposite sex, big chances are, you may have fallen in love with them at some point of time or are secretly in love with them even now.
It could have been love, a little crush that passed over in a month or two, or even a huge sexual urge to become sex buddies.
You don’t have to feel embarrassed about it though, because almost all friendships between attractive opposite sexes go that way now and then.
I’m in love with my best friend
About three years ago, I experienced the same dilemma with my best friend.
I had known her since we were little kids, but she had moved to another city for a few years.
She got back home during her two week vacation from work and we met up the very evening she returned. But something within me changed when I saw her this time around. She just looked beautiful. It felt weird to even look at her as my best friend.
Even as she hugged me that night, all I could feel was her attractive body against mine. And as she stepped back, her fragrance lingered like love in the air. [Read: Are you really falling for your best friend?]
We met each other all the time, and she told me everything about her new life, her work, the guys she was dating, and everything else. But all I could think of was how I could tell her that I was falling in love with her.
The two weeks passed swiftly, and without thinking, on the last night before she had to leave, I told her that I was in love with her. At first, she laughed. Then she appeared shocked. And then came the awkward silence because I told her everything I felt, including all the romantic and the sexual details. It was stupid. And the biggest mistake I did.
Telling her that I loved her wasn’t the stupid part though. The way I professed my love for her was the stupid part. It was abrupt, idiotic and just plain dumb. [Read: 8 perfect ways to tell someone you love them for the first time]
We parted ways that night with a warm hug and she left the next morning. Things seemed really fine even though I asked her out, but in reality, things were never the same again. We could never be friends again the way we once were. Every time she told me something about the guys she was dating, I was hurt. Every time I told her how much I missed her, she felt weird about it. We wanted to be friends, but we just couldn’t anymore.
Are you in love with your best friend?
Well, all romantic best friend stories don’t have to end the way mine did. I know exactly where I went wrong, and I spend quite a few lonely nights wishing I could turn the clock back so I could have done the right thing. But there’s no point regretting about something that can’t be changed. [Read: How to get over a crush and have fun doing it]
But if you’re secretly in love with your best friend, there are a few things you need to think about and a few things you need to do before you pop the big question out of the blue. And if you follow all my tips right, you may just be able to win your best friend’s heart and turn your friendship into love.
What are you really feeling?
So you’re in love with your best friend. But how sure are you that it’s love and not a passing infatuation? How long have you liked this friend of yours?
Could you just be jealous because your good looking friend is dating someone else, or is your feeling of love a side effect of having less time to spend with each other because your friend is now busy doing something else or dating someone else?
Always ask yourself if it’s truly love that you’re feeling. There’s no point throwing a friendship of many years away just because you couldn’t figure out the emotions you’re feeling towards your best friend. [Read: How to stop thinking about someone you like a lot]
What matters more to you?
You have to understand that there’s no going back once you fall in love with a friend and decide to ask them out. You may think things will stay the same, but it never will. It may work in your favor or not, but your relationship is bound to change forever.
So what would you rather have, your best friend or a hope for something more romantic? If you value your friendship more than anything else, back away and avoid any romantic thoughts as soon as you get it. Try to think of it as a little crush, and forget about it by dating someone else.
But if you feel like you’ve crossed the point of infatuation and just can’t stop getting attracted to your best friend, well, you don’t have a choice. You need to let your friend know what’s on your mind, and hope for the best. Just don’t hide your feelings and try to stay as a friend. You’ll only end up hurting yourself a lot, and your relationship with your best friend will start to get affected too. [Read: What should you do when you like a friend?]
How to tell your friend that you’re in love with them
If you’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, well, I’m with you. There’s no way you can fall in love with someone and behave like a friend. It’s painful and frustrating, and just not worth it.
If you do want to confess your love to your friend, just don’t make the mistake of asking your friend out, out of the blue. Learn to understand your best friend’s mind first and try to find out if your friend can ever like you in a more-than-friends manner.
Does your friend treat you like a lover?
This is an annoying experience to deal with, especially when you’re crazy about your best friend. Your friend may cuddle you, hug you, give you pet names and spend hours talking to you. Sometimes your best friend may even say that they love you, but you know they mean it only in a friendly way, right?
When you have a best friend of the opposite sex, the line between romance and friendship is very thin. Don’t jump to conclusions ever, and take your time to find out if there can ever be a chance of being more than friends with your best friend. [Read: Signs both of you are more-than-friends already]
Don’t say it out just yet
Sometimes, when you love someone, it makes sense to just say it out loud and be done with it. But that’s not being tactful. And there’s a bigger chance that you’d lose your best friend and the one you love at the same time by popping the question out of the blue.
A sudden confession about love could even destroy your friendship, especially if your friend doesn’t like you back the way you want them to. By reading the signs and watching how your best friend reciprocates to your moves, you can back away if you feel like your friend doesn’t like you. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never ever like you]
Steps to make your friend fall in love with you
Don’t ever ask your friend out unless you think they like you back romantically. It’ll do you no good, and you may just lose your best friend.
Instead just use these flirty steps to try and convince your best friend to start looking at you in a more-than-just-friends way!
#1 Compliment your friend. If you find your friend attractive, then you’d definitely have no problems coming up with lines to compliment them. Don’t overdo it, but every now and then, say something sweet and memorable, so you send out the right signals to let your friend know that you find them attractive. [Read: 25 compliments for guys they'll never forget]
#2 Support your friend. Be the friend in need. Spend more time with your friend and let them see just how great a person you are. Be a helping hand when you have the time, but don’t be a pushover and be available at your friend’s beck and call all the time. By helping your friend out with little errands or shopping trips, you can let them see you as someone who’s an important part of their decisions and their life.
#3 Avoid getting physical. Friends are quite touchy feely, but not in a romantic way. Do you guys hold hands, slap each other or put your arms around each other all the time? Well, you need to put a stop to that. Don’t let your friend get too familiar with your touch. Instead learn to play with lingering touches and soft grazes that’ll make your friend feel a tingle of sexual excitement. [Read: How to flirt sexually with your friend by touching the right way]
By avoiding friendly touches and indulging in sensual, soft touches, you’d be able to build the sexual tension and make your friend fall for you even before you say what’s on your mind. [Read: 10 ways to build sexual tension with a friend you like]
#4 Talk naughty. Both of you may spend hours over the phone every day, and that’s just great. Use these conversations to turn the friendship into romance and sexual excitement. Start talking naughty, especially late at night. Spend a few days or weeks building the flirty conversations and you’ll see just how sexually attracted both of you can get in no time. [Read: The guide to flirt by texting late at night]
#5 Meet up for dates. Meet each other often, be it for coffee dates, dinners or new movies. The more both of you *date* each other exclusively, the more closer both of you will start to feel towards each other.
#6 Use your flirting side. Don’t be obvious about this, but start flirting with your friend at every opportunity you get. And always try to use double entendres or lines with double meanings all the time. If your friend says something, try to find a sexual pun to their line and make a joke of it now and then. [Read: 7 naughty texting games to play all night long]
#7 Don’t ever be possessive. If your best friend spends a lot of time with some other person, or is already dating someone, don’t be rude or behave possessively. You may end up losing your best friend with your attitude. Remember, you’re the best friend. You already have an unfair advantage. Just learn to use the closeness you already have to make your friend a lover.
#8 Make your friend addicted to you. This is the most important thing you need to do. If you can make your friend miss you every time you aren’t around, you’ve worked your magic just fine. Speak for hours every night of the week and appear busy one night. Try to create a routine and skip the routine now and then. By doing that, you’ll make your best friend realize just how important you are to them.
And that’s all there is to it. You may be in love with your best friend, but if you use these moves, you’ll definitely make a huge romantic impression on your friend too. Now all you need to do is express what’s in your heart and hear the same words back from your best friend!
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