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I Cheated on My Boyfriend and Feel a Lot Better

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I cheated on my boyfriend and experienced a few things that could help you, if you’re thinking of cheating on your man or have done just that. By Anonymous Kitty

i cheated on my boyfriend

I’ve been in a relationship for a long time.

Seven years to be precise.

And to tell you the truth, I’ve always been happy in love.

We met in college and he wooed me for a few months before I finally gave him the nod.

And things could never have been better for both of us.

[Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]

We even joined the same workplace and shared every moment happily with each other.

But about six months ago, I joined another organization with a better paycheck.

And that’s when things started to spiral out of control.

[Read: Making the choice between love and career]

If you would have asked me then if I would have ever cheated on my boyfriend, you would have heard me banish the thought in a flash.

But life, as they say, can take interesting and unpredictable turns along the way.

Experiencing my freedom

At first, I was nervous to not have him around me to depend on.

But within a couple of weeks, I fit right into my new workplace and everything was perfect. The people were great and a lot of fun.

At the same time, I met a great guy in my new workplace who had a huge crush on me. He constantly asked me out and flirted with me. It was a laugh at first, and soon enough, I was having a lot of fun flirting back with him. [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation]

It was harmless and a new experience, and that thought excited me.

Life with my boyfriend

My boyfriend and I wanted to move in together, but we put that thought away for a few more months because of my new job and its schedule. [Read: Things to know before you move in with your boyfriend]

We spent our evenings together and an occasional weekend too, when he wasn’t hanging out with the boys.

I don’t know where we went wrong, but somewhere along the way, things started to get on edge. He started asking me a lot of questions about my workplace and I started getting annoyed with his constant calls during my busy work hours. [Read: How to make your boyfriend feel less insecure and jealous]

Somehow, we just weren’t getting used to the fact that we weren’t around each other anymore. When I missed him, he was busy. When he missed me, I was busy. It was very frustrating.

Soon, we started fighting over petty things.

Eventually, I started to believe that my boyfriend had been taking me for granted all this while. He wouldn’t like meeting me over weekends because he was busy doing something else or hanging out with his friends.

So I started taking him for granted. I pretended like I was busy during the weekdays.

I started to like the attention

And in the midst of all this confusion in my love life, the guy from office who had a crush on me started asking me out more often.

Eventually, I yielded one evening and we went out for a drink. And it was so awesome!

I had such a nice time with this guy who was such a charmer and smooth talker. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and was secretly waiting for him to ask me out again.

He did ask me out again for lunch the next day.

Soon enough, this guy who liked me started wooing me. He took me out to fancy dinners and splurged on extravagant gifts and diamonds. We watched movies and had candle light dinners. [Read: Why do men like pursuing women?]

But my boyfriend had no idea of any of this.

Taking the next plunge into lust

One day, after a bitter fight with my boyfriend over the phone, I called this guy who had a crush on me and asked him to take me out because I wasn’t feeling too good.

He drove to my place immediately and we went to get a few drinks. I liked this guy a lot because he was always there for me. He cared for me and pampered me, something my boyfriend seemed to have forgotten recently. [Read: Are women fickle in love?]

And on the way back home, we shared our first kiss. I really liked it. I invited him back to my place and the next thing I knew, we were making drunken love on my bed.

I felt better than I felt for the last seven years with my boyfriend. I felt weak and passionate, like a fire that has awakened within me. I loved every single emotion I was feeling.

He wasn’t my boyfriend, but I just liked him a lot. But deep inside I loved my own boyfriend and knew this guy could never take my boyfriend’s place. But each time I made love with this guy who had a crush on me, it made me feel good because I felt like I was getting back at my boyfriend for treating me badly. [Read: Is he the one for you?]

Stepping deeper into the fields of lust

I knew I cheated on my boyfriend, but somehow, it didn’t feel bad. Instead, I felt bold and empowered. I even felt powerful. I wanted more.

There was a guy from my university who used to like me. I liked him too, but I couldn’t do anything about it because I was dating my boyfriend. And he knew that.

I called him up and started flirting with him. Soon enough, we planned a date that evening. That very night, I got him into my bed and had the best sex of my life, for the second time in a week!

I was having so much fun juggling three guys in bed, my boyfriend, a guy from work and a guy from college. It felt like a dream come true.

At that point, I knew I only loved my boyfriend and no other guy, but the buffet of sex I was having was making me delirious. All of a sudden, I loved my life.

My ignorant boyfriend comes back

It’s easy to see why I stop caring about my boyfriend and our petty fights anymore.

I told my boyfriend I wanted a break from the relationship. He thought I was upset about the petty fights. My boyfriend had no idea it was because I hated getting his calls while I was having sex with my new lovers.

He tried to woo me back. He came to me in tears and asked me if we could work on our relationship. I loved him, but I was confused. Did I really want to go back to that lifestyle again? [Read: How to deal with a complicated relationship]

Experiencing my new sexy life

I liked my life. It was too frisky at times, and soon, I started getting bored of all the fake dates and the sex. It started to feel just the same again. It was just sex after all. But it was still better than staying with just one guy all your life! [Read: Do you want to be single again?]

But one night, the guy from my university didn’t turn up for a sleepover at my place. I found out the next morning that his girlfriend had come over to his place and he couldn’t leave her. I was annoyed at first. But then, I realized who I had become. I was a behaving like a whore, jumping from one bed to another.

My mind was a confused mess all over again, I didn’t like what I was doing. I had great sex, but I felt empty all the time. I didn’t know what was wrong with my life all of a sudden.

My boyfriend comes my way

One evening, I was sitting alone at home and crying on my couch.

The door bell rang and I saw my boyfriend. As soon as I saw him, I was filled with happiness and gratitude. I don’t know what happened next, but he hugged me, and I just hugged him back. For the first time in several months, I felt loved and safe.

I felt so good just resting my weight on his shoulders. It felt like nothing could harm me or trouble me anymore. It was a moment that I can never forget.

We got back together and made things up again. I ended my illicit affairs with the other men in my life, and realized that nothing really was worth the love that my boyfriend has for me. [Read: Affairs in a relationship and how egos lead to it]

I never told my boyfriend anything about those few months. I don’t see why he has to know any of these details. It would only hurt him more.

Learning from my lessons

My boyfriend has no idea I cheated on him with two guys in no time. He’s still blissfully happy to have made things up with me.

I, on the other hand, now know how easy it is to cheat and get away with it.

I could always cheat if I wanted to, but I’ve now understood that cheating doesn’t really fill any emotional void. It just creates a lusty confusion that magnifies any void in your head, and confuses you further. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat?]

If you’re just looking for sex and fast love, well, cheating works just fine. But a few months down the road, it’ll feel like a stagnated relationship all over again.

And the only way to get the excitement back again is to cheat with another person.

And the cycle goes on and on forever. You can be a serial cheater. Or you can work on a relationship and make it better.

It’s true that the infatuation and excitement won’t last forever in long love. A lasting relationship can lose the zest of infatuation and the sizzle of lust eventually. But it can give new meaning to your life and to togetherness. [Read: How to have a perfect long term relationship]

After all, a warm hug from the one who loves you can feel so much better everyday than an insecure shag with a stranger who’ll be boring in a week’s time.

15 things I’ve learnt after I cheated on my boyfriend

I’ve learnt from my experience, and in a way, don’t really regret it. I experienced a whole new life and now I know that what I have is special and magical. Perhaps, it takes losing something to really understand its value.

But if you’ve just cheated on your boyfriend or are contemplating on cheating on your boyfriend, I’m not going to tell you that it’s a bad thing. Instead, I’ll just share 15 things that I’ve learnt from my experience.

#1 It’s easy to cheat and get away with it.

#2 If you’re clever, you’ll never ever get caught just as long as you keep it a secret.

#3 There’s always a conflict between love and lust in our minds. But the final decision to stray still lies in your own mind. [Read: Find out if it's love or lust you're experiencing]

#4 Getting attention from hot guys is no excuse to cheat, even if they try to seduce you or woo you.

#5 Sex feels the same with anyone after a few times.

#6 You feel used, hollow and empty as soon as you orgasm.

#7 You never feel as comfortable or intimate sleeping with another guy as you feel with your own boyfriend.

#8 It’s better to avoid telling your boyfriend that you cheated unless you know you’ll get caught. [Read: Should you ever confess to cheating?]

#9 You’ll feel guilty and hate yourself. And your life can spiral out of control at any time.

#10 The guilt will haunt you for the rest of your life.

#11 You lose focus on happiness and worry more about secrecy and ways to avoid getting caught.

#12 You can look for motives and reasons to cheat. Or you can try to work on your own relationship and make it better. [Read: How to better a relationship]

#13 You’ll understand that at the end of it all, it just wasn’t worth the pain and the confusions.

#14 You could stop believing in love. And there’s nothing that can make your life feel more worthless.

#15 You could lose a perfect relationship over a few months of mindless lust.

[Read: 25 reasons behind why women cheat so easily]

I cheated on my boyfriend and have learnt what really matters in my life. You could take a lusty chance, or you could trust me on what’s better. Or you could decide yourself and see what works for you.


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Have your say!
  • lol
    January 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    You are an awful human being, poor guy

  • Caroline
    January 23, 2012 | Permalink |

    Far from being an awful human being, you’re not afraid to admit mistakes. I admire your honesty and I’ve been cheated on. Life is what you make it, judging others will only make you miserable. I hope more can learn from you! Thanks for the great read!

  • J
    January 27, 2012 | Permalink |

    You, are the perfect definition of whore. Anyone who says anything else is wrong. Enjoy that! Hopefully your boyfriend has been cheating on you too!

  • bee
    February 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    What a lying skeezy hope your boyfriend finds out and dumps you and then you can get shagged and passed around like the person you really are.

  • Andra
    February 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    In defense of the writer, when a relationship is not fulfilling, why do you have to stick it out? Because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do? Why insist on monogamy anyway?
    I’m in an open relationship and happy with it. My boyfriend and I are both very sexual people, high risk of cheating, we had an adult and calm talk about it, set up some ground rules, and we’re happy. Maybe one day we’ll be exclusive, maybe not. It helps that we’re not the jealous type and we’re both quite self confident.
    The only thing I disagree with is the not telling part. I see where you’re coming from, but at least for me honesty remains the best policy.

  • Mankindo
    April 27, 2012 | Permalink |

    What a sad, sad, sad article. But it does reinforce one thing – cheating is easy to get away with. Personal integrity is what keeps people from cheating, not lack of opportunity. Happy to hear the author found some finally, but ultimately, life isn’t “Sex and the City.” Best of luck to the author on her personal growth journey – there’s a lot of work still to be done.

  • April 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    Forget what everyone else says about calling you a whore and things like that. The concept of cheating is as old as marriage. In fact, in its origins, marriage used to be a polygamous arrangement, so it’s all perspective. But my point is, things like this happen for most people. You do something stupid that feels good at the time, and only after the fact do you realize how bad of an idea it was. It’s called life. It’s called being human. Anyone who judges you is small-minded and petty, and clearly has issues with their own mistakes in life. You did what you felt you had to do, and I’m glad you were honest enough with yourself to put it out there for other people to learn from.

  • john
    May 12, 2012 | Permalink |

    wow…you’re kind of a slut

  • pam
    May 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    I totally get everything you said. Please ignore the disgusting insults. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and tips. Maybe you could discuss having an open relationship. I did with my bf and although he didn’t feel comfortable, the talk helped our relationship I think… I feel I could be honest. I was afraid he’d get really mad bc he is kind of anal but we discussed it and he thought about it.

  • May 31, 2012 | Permalink |

    It happens.

  • Mae
    June 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    Wooooow. This is why people disgust me. If you start having feelings about other people, then tell your partner that you want a break. Don’t cheat on them! That’s incredibly disrespectful to the relationship and your partner. It makes you seem like a horrible person. Just sit the guy down and say “Hey, I think we need some time apart, I’m just really confused right now and I need to think things through” but do not, by any means, go behind the back of the man who loves you, to spread your legs to another man who is just using you for sex. That’s disgusting and you brought shame upon the term of monogamy. I bet you would’ve felt a hundred times better about yourself if you had wandered out w/ other guys while you and your boyfriend were on a break, instead of cheating on him.

    He deserves to find out and leave you for someone who will truly love him and respect him. Because you don’t truly love someone and then cheat on him. That’s not how it works. He’s clearly not you’re soul mate, because if he was, you would NEVER do anything on purpose to harm or hurt him. But you did, and worse – you lied about it and choose to keep it a secret. How absolutely disgusting. I hope you get herpes from all that promiscuous sex.

  • Brooke
    July 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    I love this. It’s so true. Every bit of it. Here is what happened to me:

    I’m a teenager and I have a boyfriend of almost 4 months. It’s getting pretty serious. I took his virginity but he didn’t take mine, and ever since I did he has been head over heels for me. There’s one problem, I’m not ready to fall for him yet because there are two boys from my past I still love. One of them is 4 years older than me, I have had sex with him before, he is the “typical teenage bad boy who is the guy of my dreams”. He is friends with my cousin.

    Last night, him, my cousin, and I were all hanging out (without my boyfriend knowing of course) and he and I were left alone for quite awhile. (I have kissed him once before in my current relationship and I told my boyfriend about it, so he knows to look out for this dude). During the half hour him and I had alone we began to makeout and it lead to us having sex.

    He and I have had quite a past, I have cheated on past boyfriends with him, but he is the only guy I would ever make an exception for because I fell for him.

    My boyfriend says I’m acting different today but he doesnt really suspect I was with him. I dont know what to do, I feel guilty in a way, but I’m still glad it happened. I just cant fall for my boyfriend and what I did last night just made me fall more in love with the other guy, and less in love with my boyfriend. This guy will never want me as a serious girlfriend because I’m so much younger than him so I’m doing my best to move on but I just cant. He is addictive I swear. I dont know whether to stop sleeping with him or to keep doing it. I’m torn and don’t know what to do. Only time will tell I guess.

  • johncarter24
    July 4, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’ve also been with my bf 5 yrs and i love him a lot but i found out that he cheated on me, so as a revenge to make me feel better I done the same. he never found out and our relationship improved because i dont feel i hate him anymore for cheating and besides i dont need to feel more paranoid and if i do i just need to cheat again to make me feel better, i agree with this lady 100% welcome to the real XXI century

  • Mr. E
    July 5, 2012 | Permalink |

    I just stumbled on this and wow, you are disgusting. You didn’t tell him because it would hurt you and your sick little agenda, you disgusting waste of space… not because it would hurt him. I hope you get a terrible disease. You deserve it. Sick selfish little diva wannabe.

  • missJ
    July 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    Don’t listen to anyone calling you a whore. I am so glad I found this read. It makes me feel less bad about what I did. I had a boyfriend for 1 year 8 months but he was very jealous so I had sex with this guy I knew and then I broke up with my boyfriend then. Me and this guy kept having sex, we even became gf and bf but it was nothing serious.

    Then I met this guy, he was handsome, older than me and such a charmer. He would always have time for me. We had sex too but it wasn’t exclusive. Then we got together and I stopped having sex with the other guy. After a while I found out that he was flirting with girls and sending each other pictures and talking to them. For all I know, he could have been cheating on me. So I started to have sex with the guy again and also with this other guy that was trying to be more than friends with me. It made me feel better because I knew he deserved it. In my mind, if I wouldn’t have found out he would have never told me.

    So after a while I stopped having sex with other guys because I felt like he stopped doing what he was doing. Then I had this opportunity and I had sex with another guy. I guess deep down I am still mad because I was faithful to him and he wasn’t to me. I want to tell him but I can’t because he never told me. He was also talking with girls around my birthday which now brings back all those awful hurtful memories in my mind every time my birthday comes around.

  • Me
    July 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    What you did was really terrible. Juggling three guys while you’re supposed to be in a committed relationship is horrible. If you want to do that, then don’t commit to anyone and be single and free. Leading your boyfriend on to think that he is your only one is really a wretched thing to do to someone. You shouldn’t feel proud of this behavior or the way you came to ‘love your life’ with your boyfriend. Gross.

  • Bob
    July 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    @ Caroline
    You admire her honesty? Did you miss the part where she wasn’t honest with her boyfriend?

    It’s easy to admit something anonymously on the internet to complete strangers. It’s much harder, and takes much more character, to come clean with something in person to the ones you love. Apparently the writer does not have enough strength to do that.

  • Terra
    July 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    This is disgusting, anyone trying to justify this as just a growing experience is far off. She’s a liar and a cheat, if she really did grow through this she would admit to what she had done, the boyfriend deserves at least that.

  • The D
    July 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    Honestly, I think you’re wrong. every person deserves to know the truth. If you cheated on your spouse, and let’ s say like in your case, you got back together , you MUST and SHOULD still tell him what you have done, and tel lhim how sorry you are and that you really want this relationship to work out and ask for a chance. Since you already broke the law of “loyalty”, by not telling him what you have done, you’re already breaking another law of being honest with oen another .

    If you haven’t chweated but have fantasies, you should let your partner know. And if you do really love him, find a way to work around it. If you reall love him, you’ll be abel to overcome those fantasies with other ma, and the only person you’d fantasize over is your own partner.Also, it’s better to tell your partner how you feel, it’s better to break up before you make any bad decisions. don’t cheat. if you’re gonna have sex with another man, at least tell your boy the truth and break up first. You ge twhere i’m coming from.
    so to the writer, tell him, for his sake

  • SlightlyVicious
    July 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    The writer is a whore. There is no excuse. If you are not happy in your relationship then leave it. You do not stick around under false pretenses and slut it up before you decide to break up. Along with being a whore the writer is also a liar. No one who actually loves someone like she claims to love her boyfriend would do something like that to them. She is an immature ignorant sad excuse for a human being.

    All of you who support her are wrong. Unless you’re in an open relationship there is no excuse to cheating. Grow up and have the courage to then the relationship if you want to share your bed with someone else. Otherwise you are nothing but a coward and I feel sorry for anyone who calls you a friend.

  • Safiya
    July 20, 2012 | Permalink |

    Maybe monagamy in the traditional sense is not actually for you. Why don’t you find someone to have an open relationship with – then if you stay faithful to the rules of extra marital sex as agreed upon by both of you, then you’re not cheating. Actually you may find that you will have a deeper bond with your primary – whatever level of monagamish you choose, at least it’s an honest way to live – sneaking regularly around your boyfriend’s back is just dishonest and cowardly.

  • Lindsay
    July 21, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thank you, soo much for writting this.

    A few months ago, I would have been closed minded, and said “what a slut”.

    But — NO. you are a human.

    I have been with my was, “fiance”, now “bf” for almost, 5 yrs. We have two children, and I have never been in love more. I’ve never even contemplated cheating, I guess… when I fall in love, it takes over my whole being, and I consume myself with my partner… that’s just me, but anyways, over the years… I ve been through a lot. My bf cheated on me 5 times. He openly admits the truth now, and is a sex addict (yes, a real sex addict).

    He was abused sexually as a child and thinks of sex as just a need to orgasm… is going to regular meeting for sex and love addicts anonymous now. Anyways, at 22 years old, I never knew I could be in this much pain at such an early stage in life and in a relationship. I’ve come to the point where, I almost left, but realized we’ve come so far in life together and he does love me, he just has a problem.

    The point I’ve been making my way up to is… the thoughts of him cheating consume everything I do. They haunt me, and make me bitter, and sick, and miserable. I want to be in the relationship full steam ahead in a positive new state (he’s bettering himself, now it’s my time to be 100% moving forward). I feel, and have been feeling for some time… that I want to have meaningless sex too, so that I can no longer hate him for the acts that haunt me, in my head, that he has committed.

    I know for a fact, this will work. I just need the victim’ thoughts out of my head. once I’ve f**ked someone else, I won’t feel like I’ve been Miss Perfect and he’s a monster anymore. Then once I’m satisfied, and the thoughts of him no longer bother me, we can truly move forward. And yes– I know that, the thoughts of my own guilt may take its place, but I would rather have that take its place. I can control my own actions, not his. And this will make me feel 100% better.

    People that don’t understand where I am coming from, you won’t ever understand what I’ve been through to come to this decision. People who support it, thank you. It means a lot.

  • July 27, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’ve been with women like this. Sorry to say that one or two bad experiences (even if the rest are alright) shape your perspective. As such, I treat every woman I date as a potential cheater.

    At the same time, i also treat them as a potential liar and possible killer. I discovered on previous Ex planned to kill me with anti-freeze for life insurance.

  • mcf
    August 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    Sorry to Judge you, but I have been cheated on in the past by my ex boyfriend, and there are possibilities of emotional cheating by my current boyfriend.
    Cheating is the most hurtful thing you can do to someone it hurts their self esteem, and their trust of people for ever. You are dishonest. by not telling your boyfriend that you did this you are not giving him the chance to decide if he really wants to be with you after what you did. I really think that you have to grow up. sorry.

  • Jay
    August 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    Most women who comment on here are saying it’s okay. I bet if it was a guy who wrote this story then all you women would say “he’s scum,horrible person,asshole etc” but if a woman does it ” it’s fine”
    If you have a bf/gf the answer is you do not cheat. If you plan on cheating, you break up with the person before, and yes the bf/gf has more of a right to know that you cheated on him , then you even cheating at all. You ARE a slut don’t listen to any of the comments saying otherwise…

  • Chynna
    August 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    Wow! A lot of bitter men! lmao, one guy said he stumbled on this topic, ha! Clearly, they are ugly with no women or theirs cheated and now they are salty. Either way most of the population cheat, even them. What kills me are the ones that like children if you want to talk about some sick shit what you did was normal, men do it all the time and it’s okay when they do it though! I’m sure he was cheating on you as well and probably with another man, you’re not a slut, your bf should have stepped his game up. Don’t listen to these lonely losers!

  • LD
    August 4, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thank you for this. I’m in this exact same situation and have come to the exact same realization very recently. You are not alone and you have helped me feel less alone. Ignore the people who are terrible for you calling terrible. Every time, they point a finger- three more point back at them. I think to get out of an affair like this is a blessing. It’s a true wake-up call to change your ways and really really really give your loved one the appreciation they deserve. If you hadn’t experienced this, you would have ended up marrying and divorcing feeling like you were taken for granted and restricted. Now, you can give this man the love he deserves. Our guilt is ours alone and we can punish ourselves for the rest of our lives more than our significant others can. It’s a burden to bear but one we do for the people we love. I firmly believe you shouldn’t tell your significant other. There is a very good chance that they already know deep down but will never say it out loud and are already hurt by the thought of it. Don’t hurt them more by affirming it. THANK YOU. You’ve helped one person and that means more than any more of these judgmental nay-sayers who will never understand what it feels like to have a second chance at real love.

  • Manny
    August 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    wooow……all the ladies who applaud what the lady did, clap for yourselves. Good job! Anyway, honestly and objectively, i think that any guy who doesn’t learn how to draw a line between love and career will somehow fall victim to some of these challenges. It’s a general rule, that men, when they want to stabilize in a relationship, that’s when they’re serious, tend to be more settle, focused and less complicated. The vice versa is often true for most women considering the nature of the female make up.

  • Wisdom
    August 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    I agree with Manny. Though i won’t judge the author, i think she’s has been unfair to her boyfriend who for all you know loves and cares about her so much. You can tell that this guy really loved the author because of the way he cried and begged the author to give their relationship another shot. Even after all the begging and crying she still went on with her romantic fantasies. woow..WOMEN.
    I really think that the guy deserves to know the truth of everything that happened. Let him decide if he still loves you enough to let go and be with you. I know you’re probably gonna say, “why should she do that? That can end the relationship cos the guy will get so hurt?” If it was the other way round, the ladies would have said that at least the guy should have been HONEST and told the truth. So please tell the truth and deal with the aftermath, instead of covering up and feeling guilty about it as and when the memories crop up in your mind.
    The million dollar questions are:
    1. She probably thinks he’s not gonna find out. But what if by some means he got to know about it from a third person, who had hard evidence of what really went on?
    2.The author claims she just wanted to get back at her boyfriend. Suppose they both get to an age where the lady is no longer physically attractive to sleep around (ladies have an expiry date), and the guy starts sleeping around with younger ladies just to feel like a young man dating a beautiful woman again, how will the lady feel about it?
    My final advice is this: Men, learn to make your woman feel like a woman always and work at always keeping that feeling of infatuation alive no matter what. Learn to understand the overall makeup of women and treat them as such.
    Ladies, do not take your men who are serious about you for granted. The purpose of a relationship is to RELATE. learn about how the man is different from you and his temperaments and do your possible best to communicate with him with love and it shall be well. SHALOM EVERYBODY!!!

  • Cindy
    August 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    I felt the same exact way when I was with my boyfriend of 7 years. At first it was all happy, love, sex but suddenly my feelings for him changed and I ended up feeling annoyed by his phone calls, voice, face even his big dick lol….I started a new job my boss was only 4 years older than me and very sexy. Eventually we ended up sleeping together and the sex was amazing ( the kind the makes you giggle to yourself while thinking about it on the train ride home) and I never told my bf about it but I felt so guilty. After a while I felt so turned off from the lies and sex altogether that I broke up with my boyfriend, told my boss I couldn’t do this anymore, gota new job became celibate for a year and that is when my true love found me – I wasn’t even looking for love or throwing myself on guys it just came and I couldn’t be happier. Sometimes as comfortable as a boyfriend of many years can be, it’s best to let go and do so in peace hoping the other person will find someone who really cares about them and that the same happens for you.

  • kinkyfantasies
    August 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    here’s a better advice for all women. pick a man who’s faithful. and men should pick a woman who’s faithful. do your work people, there are people out there thinking this way, it’s just that the most promoted people and tv celebrities are promiscuous and they tend to lead those insecure wannabees to prostitute themselves. cheaters and sex-lusting people should get with each other and stay together and they can only stay together if other people do their best to distance from engaging in sex relationships with them.
    i definitely don’t want to engage in relationship where i can end up being cheated and i’m searching for an honest man.
    i know there are lots of men out there seeking for honest women as well. we just need to learn how to differ each other better and that way we’ll isolate cheaters to date and marry cheaters. to do this, we need to engage only with intent to have serious relationships without any sex involved until relationship becomes strong. that doesn’t have any relation to marriage, marriage is just a piece of paper, love and caring is what counts and what makes a relationship. i’m unrepairable romantic xD
    and yes, the author of this article is a slut! people like you are ruining western civilization and turn it into place where men and women mistrust each other by default! you’re either under influence of the ill culture of fast hookups and first, second, third-date-sex rules establisted by tv agenda. be happy that you cheated your boyfriend, lottery was on your side because one day you’ll get it other way around when he gets to resolve his own issues and then you better pray that he doesn’t get honest with you either, so you can both live in your slutty lies.

  • kinkyfantasies
    August 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    oh yes and i believe in marriage. but i see it just as an official confirmation of trust to each other. nothing good can come out of marriage, marriage needs to be constructed upon good things that wait for marriage to give it a legal framework for the benefits of all.

  • erin
    August 26, 2012 | Permalink |

    the worst part about this is that you didn’t tell the truth. it’s not fair to your bf. I barely have words to express how sad this makes me.
    the truth will set you free.
    you need to ask for forgiveness
    and be ready to take whatever comes from the revealing of your actions.

  • Ben
    August 27, 2012 | Permalink |

    I agree with many on this board. If its OK for a girl to do it then you can’t say its not OK for a guy to do it either…

    I personally think taking a break is a better option. But I don’t know many couples these days that are actually monogomous from start to finish

  • Patrick
    August 31, 2012 | Permalink |

    Im sorry you had to cheat on your boyfriend to realize. This is like a drug addict who has to lose everything he has before he realizes they cant live life while using drugs. You should be ashamed of yourself. The only person you love is yourself. You wont tell him because you know he wont forgive you. So many stupid people on earth, i have lost faith in humanity. You probably do not even have a good education, ba of arts more than likely. Ive never met such a disgusting human being. I hope you die in a car crash.

  • Jess
    September 2, 2012 | Permalink |

    Cheating might be wrong but I’m glad to hear someone else admit that it is so satisfying. Like the author I am in a LRTwith some discreet activity on the side every so often. Affair sex is almost like a drug. I have concluded there are 4 factors that drive the intensity of my orgasms.
    1. Where I’m at in my cycle. Sex when I’m ovulating is by far better, not only is my body primed and more cooperative but it seems to increase the stamina and excitement of my partners as well.
    2. Method or type of birth control being used. The pill completely kills sex drive and condomns kill the experience. My preference, bareback with the morning after pill. There is something about knowing what you are doing- mating, being bred that makes things even hotter.
    3. Who your partner is. Sex with my partner is great, but I’ve got to admit like the author of this article does that cheating sex is exihilerating. It’s so wrong that it makes it feel to right.
    4. Location. There is a difference between your marriage bed, the Hilton, back seat, or room by the hour.

    In my experience the combination of these four factors will make a lot of nice girls into people even they don’t recognize for a couple days each month. Having multiple partners while ovulating isn’t uncommon for women, research shows that nearly 1/2 of all women have had two or more men in less than a week. The rest of the month we just want to forget that side of ourselves. She’s not a slut she’s just learned how insatiable she can be and how sweet it is to let go.

  • Samantha or Sam
    September 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m not going to pass any judgement on you as a person.

    Currently on the receiving end of someone doing exactly what you did, there’s not really any way to describe the pain and deep trauma you inflict on someone. To be kicked to the curb so callously after years of trust, friendship, and love is devastating beyond explanation. The “Oh, I’ve actually been over this for awhile now and this is how I’m going to tell you that you’ve already been replaced” is harder to deal with than suicide.

    To anyone out there whose kind of over their relationship and might want to move on, please, for the love of god, talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. If you have communication issues, it might be really hard to open that part of your life, but you have to. There’s no way you can ever imagine what it feels like to be betrayed and left to die like that.

    I have to start going to therapy over something that could have been an hour of honest talking with someone you trust.

    If you really love them, you can’t do to them what happened to me. Don’t be a shitty person, because you will come to hate yourself for how badly you hurt someone you love.

    I can only hope the one I love is going through a similar cathartic experience that the author did.

  • WeR4Ever
    September 4, 2012 | Permalink |

    Aside from permanently scarring a person, there are plenty of STDs out there.
    Majority of the time chronic cheaters DO NOT USE PROTECTION.
    As stated by @Jess post.

    @Kinkyfantasies
    here’s a better advice for all women. pick a man who’s faithful
    and men should pick a woman who’s faithful

    EXACTLY !!!!!!

  • John
    September 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m assuming those defending the author have never been cheated on, or cheated in retaliation for their parnter’s infidelity. I went through a similar situation where my girlfriend (ex now) felt our relationship was getting stale. She ended up cheating on me but I never told her I knew and I assume that she still thinks I don’t. It’s actually quite easy to know when someone is cheating by their inevitable change, emotionally or physically. Also, my friend saw them at a restaurant together (even big cities aren’t as big as we think they are). I feel bad for your boyfriend. He obviously loves you and you seem very callous to his feelings. I hope people considering cheating realize that they will likely get caught, and the extent of emotional damage that their actions cause. Not only did this send me into very deep depression for months, but it has also ruined other relationships for me as I have a difficult time trusting women now. This article sadly reinforces the increasing stereotype that most women are cheating sluts.

  • Kim
    September 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    You know one of the few things that are really screwed up with this situation are:

    (1) You never told your boyfriend about the cheating. I think no matter how much this hurts him, he deserves to know that you’ve been screwing him over and he deserves to make a decision as to whether he feels like he still wants a partner who has not been faithful to him or if he loves you enough to forgive you despite that.

    He. Deserves. To. Know.

    Otherwise, you’re just continuing your manipulation by leading him to think that he’s with someone who deserves his trust.

    (2) You are so focused on *your* needs and *your* needs alone. During your petty fights and all the other episodes before your cheating, do you think you’re the only one who’s miserable? You’re in a relationship, meaning *two* people’s needs are to be considered – not just yours. It’s supposed to be a commitment where the decision of sticking it out and just leaving it away comes from both parties.

    I can only hope you wouldn’t feel so screwed over when you happen to find out that your boyfriend has done the same stunts you did BEHIND your back and never intended to tell you until you found out.

    And by the way, I found this article more disgusting after reading your demeaning marks about your boyfriend in the earlier paragraphs – just because he couldn’t figure out how much of a selfish person you’ve been. I mean, wow, god. Was that really necessary?

    Look, you’re obviously more aware of your flaws than we readers here are. (At least I can hope so.)

    So all the insults hurled at you either hurt again and again or have ceased to matter anymore.

    I’m sorry if this comment of mine will contribute to the pain, but it’s just that this is something I can empathize with as having played the role of someone being cheated on. It sucks.

    I do hope you’ve learned and lived the lessons you’ve cited and I *will* do my best to learn from you, as well.

    Thanks for your input and I can only hope the best for your boyfriend and for you.

  • Been There
    September 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    While this article she does state the personal negative effect from cheating. Her lack of compassion for boyfriend is a disturbing. Regardless of what the writer says, cheating is always bad, there’s no good that can come from it. I was this girl for over 10 years and it was a great relationship in my eyes. We had our ups and downs, but not once did I cheat on her. I gave her love, I was attentive to her needs, and was there for her. Just recently I found out she’s been cheating on me. This completely destroyed me. I went through every emotional stage during this whole ordeal. I started picking myself apart and soon you start think it was your fault, constantly asking yourself what did wrong for her to look elsewhere. You start to lose sleep, work starts to drag, and your world literally start to fall apart. My ex can give me every excuse in the world and I’ll never agree that what she did was justified. She basically ripped apart my whole world for her own selfish needs. So if anyone here using this article to justify what they did, you guys are a complete idiot. Instead of feeling better about what you did how about you realize that you made a mistake and own up to it. After all what separate us from animal is our ability to realize our mistake and own up to it. Not to be ok with it or feel better about it. You can’t improve yourself, if you can’t see the errors in your ways. So before you guys try and justify a reason to cheat, think about the emotional pain you’ll inflict on the other person that stood by you through all the hard times. If the other person you’re with is a****le, just leave him/her, it’s that simple. Why lower yourselves and make yourself look like a complete whore just to prove a point. Take the mature road and just end the relationship.

  • jeramy
    September 29, 2012 | Permalink |

    @Chynna do people really think this way? that is so disgusting. I’m not insecure, Ive always been fine with my girlfriend having any friend she wants, guys or girls.. I’m not even ugly, although my girlfriend cheated on me in a story very similar to the article. . and we had been together for several years as well…
    I am in love with this girl. I had opportunities to sleep with numerous other women after finding out what happened and going on a short break decided by both of us so she could go explore… hell one of the woman was even in a relationship with another man telling me she wanted to f***. but I didnt, I’m not bitter to think this is disgusting behaviour. I’m honest, I have f****ng morals. Even when I wasnt with this girl i still cared for her enough to stay commited when she didnt deserve it..i knew wed end up together, i knew what we shared was real…and i could never EVER hurt her like that… i am not a cheater nor promiscuous, not due to lack of opportunity, but self control. i am an honest man and pride myself on it and yeah long story short my girl came back. She realized what i was after dating sad excuses for men chasing booty calls, and hearing about a date i went on with a girl much much “hotter” than her and how much she liked me… she knew i could do better she probably still even knows that. But ive taken her back with no type of punishment or consequence, not to say it isnt hard knowing she slept with FOUR other men during our relationship, but i am in love. and that feeling she brings me is unlike any other, and i know that and i sure as hell dont take it for granted. she made a mistake and ive accepted her for it, now weve been back together for a while and ive never been happier. I’m saying this because the author is in the wrong, where my girlfriend went right was honesty, i loved her enough to stick by her through anything, even when she wasnt sure what she wanted because she was HONEST .. honesty is the best policy. only telling your spouse when your going to be caught is ridiculous and immoral. author you do not know love, you do not even remotely care about the man your with, I’m not saying your a slut, your clearly human. but part of being human is OWNING UP to your mistake. something youll learn as you grow out of a girl and into a woman. your a child and have childish ideals and in NO WAY should be giving advice..
    at least give your boyfriend the opportunity to decide for himself..
    if he loves you enough he’ll remain with you, if not it wasnt meant to be.
    the relationship will NEVER work due to the simple fact you will always feel guilty, and you will always wonder if your boyfriend is cheating on you… afterall the urge is much stronger in men.(mindf*** :P )
    As humans we naturally are imprinted with a version of the golden rule. we expect people to do exactly what wed do to them. if your an excessive liar you assume people lie, if your a cheater you assume people cheat, if your guilty you assume your partner is too. (I believe this is applied to any type of complex a person may develop, pos and negs travel together of any trait)
    women; exposing yourself to the cheating world without temperence will lead you down a pathof untrustworthy sorrow, not only will your emotions get the best of you when you come to the reality of the type of person youve become, you will not be the same in a relationship. you will suddenly become the police against your partner always double checking if your spouse is deceitful.

    I know it sounds wierd, but i am clearly a man..
    Men = testosterone
    I WANTED to f*** every girl ive ever had an opportunity to sleep with but yet have only slept with 3 people…
    And noone can get down like me. Trust. (Yes, I’m cocky in this department)
    this whole men being bitter
    And insecure is b.s., in fact its the contrary. Chynna, and author. You are the ones with the insecurities, the men being cheated on arent until you push your depression filled agenda upon them, probably because of some lame a$$ excuse for a daddy issue, you entitled, neo feminist, sad excuse for a person.
    Your boyfriend is a person just like you and me author, he is not a disposable animal that you can bend and manipulate to get your way.
    would you like it if he had done the same thing to you and not told you? Nope. Bet youd sure be all about honesty then huh?
    Selfish… That is the epitome of your existence… proud?
    Secondly, after it doesnt work for “unexplained reasons” with your.boyfriend, and you move on to the next one.. remember i told you this, karma is a b***, And YOU WILL get what is coming to you 10 fold..
    right your wrongs, if for nothing else a clear concience.

  • Hurt
    October 14, 2012 | Permalink |

    Selfishness – this whole article can be summed up with that one word.

    Its not inevitable to cheat – its more accurate to say its inevitable to have the urge / desire to cheat.

    Even the act itself is fine in my book, I had a gf in the past who cheated on me more than once. It was a problem obviously. Ultimately it came down to the fact she had somewhat low self esteem and would become overwhelmed in these moments where she was being hit on etc (alcohol was usually involved). I should add this was over the course of 8 years, not like 3 months lol..

    Anyway the point is, I was mad at her – but was very grateful that
    A) She told me.
    B) She went into detail about what happened, why, how it made her feel – etc.
    C) I could tell she regretted it.

    To say something like “I never told my boyfriend anything about those few months. I don’t see why he has to know any of these details. It would only hurt him more.”

    This is so fundamentally repulsive and selfish – it makes me sick, and makes me think you don’t really care this person, you only care about how he makes YOU feel.

    Its the equivalent of saying, I suffocated my friends baby because it eats too much of my food – but I see why she needs to know these details. Babies die all the time from cot death. It would only hurt her anyway. Then carry on – pretending to be her best friend and caring for her SO MUCH that you don’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth.

    This is the epitome of selfishness.

  • Ed
    October 18, 2012 | Permalink |

    i’ve walked in your shoes before. my girlfriend and I were at the same workplace etc. then I transferred elsewhere. another girl in the new workplace was really nice to me and we flirted. While I would like to say that my secret relationship with this new girl is her fault because I felt seduced, feelings are feelings and the truth was that my ego was boosted by the thought of being wanted by a sexy looking girl regardless of my current relationship status. It’s all selfish self-centered lust rationalized by the thought that things beyond what we deserved should always be accepted because it serves our self interests and opportunities don’t always knock on everyone’s door. This cycle continues, until a state of sadness and confusion sets it people do crazy things to escape the way they feel. If they can’t change the way they feel, then they may consider ending feeling anything at all.

    If you’ve ever been cheated or harmed, you know that it’s not uncommon for people to feel they should consider getting more whenever they can. I was once hurt before and that was my mindset.

    A relationship is bigger than myself and all my life should be about helping establish meaningful, useful, relations with everyone I encounter through life. I may continue to be self seeking, living only to serve my own needs as this is a kind of addiction but this is futile sadness. As with all romances, the burning desires cool off at some point. That’s normal. You don’t have to go get someone else and cheat. As with all self seeking acts. The newest pleasures will someday stop working for me. Much like with food, drugs, girls, material possessions, etc. These pleasures will need to be constantly upgraded as I will need more and more to remain happy.

    But if I concentrate on what I can give to make my girl happy, I no longer have to worry about what I am getting for me or what I am missing out on. My mind is free from the thoughts of inadequacy.

    I wouldn’t want my girl to cheat on me even if she could do it and get away with it. If I ever found out, I’d be hurt. She’d be hurt likewise. So how could I continue to live a life where I could cheat on her. To confess would be lifting a burden off my shoulders but may devastate her. That’s honesty to help only myself feel better. What makes me so special that I can unload on her and leave her hurt.

    I have to decide whether she deserves better and let her go quietly and with dignity on her shoulders, or change my behavior, work on my character, and silently make right all the things I did wrong.

    I can no longer live the way I did in the past and would never recommend anyone cheat on their mate. This hurts the other person is an almost impossible burden for anyone to endure in secrecy and not without consequence regardless if you never get caught. Your mind is twisted, you learn very harmful things and you may have trouble trusting others.

  • PrincessJazz
    October 21, 2012 | Permalink |

    I think u should tell ur boyfriend about your affairs. U are a coward for not telling him. He has the right to know. U ought to be ashamed of yourself for going on about your life with him as if nothing had happened. Fess up! Tell him! If/when u do tell him, I hope he leaves u for a real woman who will love him. U say u love him, but that’s not love. U don’t know what love is. That is all :p

  • P.C.
    October 23, 2012 | Permalink |

    I stumbled across this website as well in my search for solace after my GF of 3/4 of a decade dumped me to be with another guy.

    She had cheated on me several times, but each time it became easier and easier for her to do, with less and less regret.

    Sadly, she had removed so much of my self worth and dignity that I lost my job. Which understandably caused even more strain on what was left of our relationship.

    So now i am jobless, broken hearted and have to pick myself back up with no support at all because I have no friends….

    All because I lacked the good judgement to drop her like a burning bag of shit after she screwed me over the first time 5 years ago and begged me to reconsider.

    Yeah it is easy to say I was the one who lacked good judgement to end it, but whose judgement is worse when you break the trust of a fellow human being and crush their dignity? It’s just simply not right or fair for either person to be so shitty.

  • belchime
    October 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    Okay, this is me pissing off, not you talking about your unfaithful ways, its good to let it all out, but how you imply cheating isn’t bad and you condone it. So what if it seems “natural” to go through these things, feelings of infatuation and illusions of a possible infidelity happen but when it all escapes to the real world shit will happen and you’ll only just feel used in the end.
    You may not have regretted it in the end, but you sure as hell will when the guy that was totally faithful ended up leaving you for being so indifferent about your so called flings.
    I have never cheated or have been cheated on but I’ve seen family and friends go through it, and it will seriously scar a person if the one you’ve trusted betrayed you to such an extent that you will never trust your significant other again. I know that you don’t want your boyfriend to find out but one of your old boy toys may come back to haunt you and end up ruining your relationship, it would be best for YOU to tell him before anything happens because that will forever haunt you. Be honest in the long run because honesty, trust, and communication is what keeps a relationship together.
    I honestly think you were (and still are not) not mature at that point in time, let go of your ego and be the bigger person here so everyone on this post will stop calling you a whore and slut–I myself am holding back from calling you so many things that would even make a sailor blush. Your boyfriend, nor anyone for that matter, does not need to go through this shit just ‘cuz you found it exciting and adventurous to sleep around like the harlot everyone else perceives you to be. Good night, madam. Hope you get over yourself.

  • Annita
    November 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    What is it with you people? I’d cheat on you too if I was dating or married to most of you. In fact I do cheat on my partner on a regular basis. The sex is great, like one person mentioned, “it makes you blush thinking about it.” I wouldn’t be surprised if most of you are suffering from porn creep and are unable to function in without outside assistance. Having someone want you just for your body and that they are willing to discard the rules of society in order to do so it as rush that it seems is lost on most of you. Good luck with the lube and remote, for those of you who cannot understand this.

  • Lita
    November 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    I don’t know where these people get off in saying these horrible things to you. What ever happened to if you dont have anythibg nice to say dont say it all. Your a hell of a woman and your honesty in your experience is moving. You brought me to tears because your entirely right. I did the same thing but I told him after feeling so empty and discusted with myself. The only thing that did was get rid of some of my pain and give it right to the man I love. It’s great knowing people feel the same as me and are not afraid of themselves. I know your doing great and I wish you the best of luck

  • neica
    November 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    I cheat on my boyfriend cause it Turns me on. I have a high sex drive and my partner only lasts a few minutes in bed. It really does keep the excitement alive.

  • whocares
    November 14, 2012 | Permalink |

    I find it very sad that you say you love your boyfriend and you have disrespect him in the worse way you can, even your worse enemy does not deserve the treatment you have given to the man you claim to love… how will you live every day thinking that the man that is living with you is just with you because he does not know who you really are?? Do you realize that you have made a lie from your relationship with him? Everything is a lie because is based on a lie, he is with you because he really doesn’t know you… I don’t think you beguine to understand up to what point you have humillated the man you claim to love and who’s only fault was to love you…. You are very little as person and have a broken soul. I don’t wish you any bad… the worse punishment is to have to live with yourself as I am sure you well know that you don’t deserve him and it will bother you your whole life.

  • whocares
    November 14, 2012 | Permalink |

    After reading some of the comments here is really sad to see there are so many people with such a low moral as to defend, justify and even admire this kind of behavior… sorry to say but I pitty your husbands/boyfriends. You are really low and deserve to find someone who treats you just the way you treat those who love you and trust you… Do you realize how are you playing with someone else life? How do you dare to say you love them? You are the most selfish and desgusting people I can imagine, you sicken me.

  • Dooberton
    November 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    I…. I’m just stunned. When did it suddenly become ok to cheat on people? Seriously, I’m not judging anyone else here, but I find it funny that when the commenters try to justify the arguments its like “These guys are stuck on porn” or “If you can’t say anything nice blah blah blah”. Not really. I’m in a committed relationship, with a woman I love. If i found out that she had been cheating on me, I’d be devastated, and probably become a nervous wreck. But, I’d rather she came out and told me straight away, because it would mean she respected me at least enough to know that I deserved to know. It’s clear that you don’t respect your men ladies, and if you don’t respect someone, you definitely can’t love them, so don’t spout bullshit like “it’ll just hurt him to know”. You don’t care about these men, and frankly, you don’t deserve them.

  • sweet pea
    November 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    I know it is sad to say but we take each other for granted after being together for almost 3 years. We both do not do anything to please each other. Sex is boring. We are both not attentive anymore. But somehow it feels like we cant separate anymore. I cant just leave this guy when things are not working out. We once shared so much happiness together.
    But this new guy came into my life and he simply makes me happy. He knows my situation but we still talk 24/7 and of cox, have sex. He always has time for me. He is always attentive. But i know it wont last….They say i keep my bf so i have stability from a backup relationship. I really dont care about how they call it. I dont feel good cheating but I really just want to make myself happy and I dont want to hurt my bf.

  • Femblaster
    November 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    And the majority of you women…still have the nerve to wonder why the

    majority of men, pump-you and dump-you, and treat you like a piece of meat.

    Evidently, this article is what the majority of you women have to offer. LOL.

    Riddle solved.

  • stephanie
    November 22, 2012 | Permalink |

    My gosshhhh finally someone who I can some how relate to.. I’m not saying thay what you did was right cause even u know it was wrong but sometimes shit happens lol.. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we are high school sweet hearts.. its hard when he stops treating you the way he does.. my boyfriend recently stopped treating me like he used to.. I always talk to him and I tell him whats bothering me but he apologizes and does the same shit again.. I dont have the strenght to take a break or anything like that cause even if he hurts me I cant imagine a life without him.. he’s like my bestfriend.. last weekend I went out with my mom and met this guy at a bar who was flirting with me and he gave me that confidence back, he made me feel attractive and wanted.. something that my boyfriend havent done in a while..can you believe he just kisses me when he wants sex?? Those things make me mad and frustrated.. althought I didnt cheat on my boyfriend or even gave the guy my # Im looking forward to going back to that bar again, the guy works there.. I feel like I want to cheat and I know is wrong and people would call me a whore but I feel like I need this.. but I do love my boyfriend.. but I dont feel like he puts me first.. he cancels our dates to go out with his friends.. I want to do something for myself.. your blog really helped me! Glad to know im not alone.. btw never tell ur bf..some things are meant to be kept as a secret! Dont ever let ur bf find out about this blog lol.. ppl calling i a whore just dont know what is like to be in that position.. and let people judge and they want.. just hope that one day they dont be put in this situation cause it hurts.. thank u so much! Dont even tell ur bff about this!! And I know that If I cheat he wont find out.. I wont break up with him cause he means the world to me.. but what he doesnt know wont hurt him!

  • whocares
    November 23, 2012 | Permalink |

    @ Stephanie…. so you boyfriend does not put you first… obviously you thinking about cheating is not selfish at all …. well what do I need to say… you say it hurts?? You have not cheated yet but you are already taking the justifications…. I am so sorry for your bf… he doesn’t know the kind of woman he has….

  • Ryan
    November 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    Well I’m glad to know that if my girlfriend stops giving me footrubs and cooking me dinner, then I have permission to cheat on her. Better yet, if I say I feel bad about it, then I don’t have to tell her. Thanks, feminism!

    Also, I find it curious that most people defending this article start their comment with “I did the same thing!”

  • Skittles
    November 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    admire her honesty? Where’s the honesty in telling her boyfriend went on behind his back?

    The author of this article REEKS of immaturity. Instead of communicating like an adult with her significant other she runs off with TWO other guys. She spouts on and on about loving this person – while having intimate relationships with other people. Odds are her boyfriend is going to find out eventually, and when he does the foundation of trust in the relationship is going to be utterly destroyed.

    The author goes on to flaunt the ‘ease’ of cheating, it’s not easy it’s abusing the trust built between two people. The fact that she held his hanging out with his friends over his head is so painfully childish, it’s as if she was grasping at reasons not to be with this guy.. But when she realized the grass wasn’t as green went back to him.

    From one woman to another, shame on you for mistreating someone who loved you so dearly. You owe it to him to tell him what went on, try to act like an adult for once in your life. Shame on you as well, for promoting this kind of behavior in others! People like you are what is wrong with the world today.

  • Ms. Andrist
    November 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    This is why I sit brooding at my desk with a scotch and a cigarette every night and pray never to get into another relationship again. Human ‘intimacy’ is deceptive, shallow and selfish, and one day you’ll be looking out your window with tears falling like the rain spattering on it with these hollow walls of confidence broken down and you stand naked to the world and yourself. Decency is dead.

  • Inquisitive
    November 29, 2012 | Permalink |

    Dear Skittles,

    I was engaged to a woman who I loved with all my being. Within two days of our engagement she started sleeping with her boss at work while away on a work trip. I was finishing graduate school and my graduation present was to hear from hear that she had slept with another man, that I deserved it because we had had a fight, that “it was too good to pass up”. I remember falling to the ground and vomiting while she laughed.

    More than hurt, I was struck with a deep confusion as to how someone could choose to do this to someone they said they wanted to spend the rest of their life with. We had children’s names, and a wedding site. The idea that some man could swoop in and “be better than me” haunts and confuses me every day.

    I am left with a lingering sense of worthlessness and self doubt. I have not been able to date, and sometimes shake uncontrollably when the flashbacks of her laughing come to mind. I have lost my sense of self, not only because this thing has happened, but because, I am not sure she feels very bad. I don’t understand how that can be. Confusion, sadness, and rage are my every other thought.

    What hurts also is the sense that this is acceptable behavior, that it is encouraged by other women, and that somehow they are immune from the kind of self critique which kept me from cheating.

    I understand that people are people and that they will want to cheat.I have wanted to cheat. I simply have a very hard time understanding how “want” translates into “right”, and by that right, women become capable of shameless cruelty which does not have a ripple in their emotional pond.

    Reading your blog lets me know that there are women who do not meet my nightmarish archetype. Whatever man you love, does not know how lucky he is. I can only hope to meet a woman like yourself going foreword.

    Thank you for your true bravery based in a spirit of just an loving attention to the other as opposed to bravery based on defining oneself by the a post- modernist nihilism based in unproven evolutionary theory. Human beings have free will, male and female. Thank you for being a good woman. Your simple words mean more than you can ever imagine to a broken soul searching for meaning.

    I may never find the courage to love again but simply knowing you exist and hold accountable you kinswoman gives me the first hope I have felt in years. God bless you and may you have a happy loving life.

    Affectionately and respectfully,

    Inquisitive

  • some random dude
    December 1, 2012 | Permalink |

    Funny.. Reminds me of my ex gf who cheated on me.. Wasnt slick enought because i found out and dumped her.. Now she is pregnant with some dude who she thinks she’s in love with and to my surprise i know a lady who knows this feller and he is cheating on her as well and my poor ex gf is oblivious… Karma is a big fat female dog:)

  • Rowen
    December 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    I don’t think you should stick to a relationship but if you are not happy with a person a break up is the best option, then you can do what you have in mind, when you really love a person you don’t cheat on him or her and if you do then you will end up confessing it to them as simple as that, and if you keep it as a secret then you don’t love that person.

  • Dave
    December 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’ve been the guy that girls have cheated with several times. I can only say that it’s an awesome experience. You take a woman who has only been with one guy for a long time and sleep with her, it gets hot real quick. There is something about having a new man in their bed and between their legs that brings out a whole other woman.

    The author of this article mentioned it was the best sex she had ever had, guess what it’s like for the guys who are with her? This is not something to pass on, when a woman in a committed relationship is willing to play you take her up on it. It’s as sweet as it comes.

  • Kerri
    December 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    What goes around, comes around.

  • Hottie
    December 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    Good job. Men cheat all the time, screw them. If a man doesn’t give you what you need, you should do what you gotta do, maybe then they will wake up. I have no regrets.

  • Arshavin
    December 27, 2012 | Permalink |

    Been with my gf/fiancee for four years now. Haven’t cheated, never been tempted. It’s a lot easier than you think.

  • Can
    January 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    Honestly…it’s pretty awful that you cheated. But, at least you apparently learned a lesson from it.
    However, I must say I cannot approve of not telling your boyfriend about it. Maybe at first, it’s best to keep it a secret, but after letting the relationship heal for a while, you really should tell him. You talk about guilt, so don’t you think that holding that secret will just make you feel more guilty over time? I mean really…”It’ll just hurt him more”, maybe…but that’s just a cheap excuse. If you really value your relationship with this guy, you should be honest with him. If not now, then somewhere down the line.

  • Ja
    January 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    Like the sentence whore is someone jupming from one bed to another. Awakening! Humans are self-interested animals. We each have our own rights and duties to perform. It’s not fair to just have only one of those. Hope anyone fairly treats your partner who too treats you farily. Whos initiates fairness first? Ladies or Gentlemen?

  • lil
    January 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’ve been with my bf for 3 years now
    His family knows about me.
    Not cheated once. I’ve had A LOT of opportunities to.. but when you really love someone, it’s very easy to NOT cheat :-)

  • Sysense
    January 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    Cheating really isn’t something that anyone should do at all. There are a lot of opportunities to cheat, no matter what situation anyone is in, but it’s also very easy NOT to do that. Every relationship is different depending on the circumstance but cheating is completely disrespectful and should never be encouraged.

  • Doc
    January 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    Gotta love how everyone’s going “bravo”, “great on you for learning from your mistakes”, “monogamy is a lie”, “kudos on being honest with yourself”… Being honest with yourself? Hey, if you’re all about being honest, how about being honest with the guy you’re with? If you’re against monogamy, well, that’s nice and dandy, AS LONG AS THE PERSON WHO’S IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU IS AWARE AND AGREES WITH THAT.
    Also love everyone saying, basically, “If you don’t agree with everything in this article, then you’re closed-minded, and have some emotional problems, and you’re wrong, and we hate you”… Trying to justify their own behaviors, a bit?
    You should tell your BF. If he stays, it will be of his own choosing. If not, you’re selfishly keeping him through deception.

  • BrittBratt
    February 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    Oh my god u guys are dumb & naive ! I’m sorry but this isn’t the 1800′s people! No one wants to have sex with the same person for years . This is the reason why people get divorced ! It’s not like she came in the relationship screwing guys left to right – that would make her a whore. I feel like cheating is ok after u guys have been together for years like her. It helps u realize how much u care about someone. I remember when the love of my life kept cheating on me & it broke my heart until I started cheating back. Then he had finally decided to settle down but I was into guy number 2. But then one day I was laying next to guy number 2 & I realized that yeah this guy may be a good temporary fix but at the end of the day he’ll never replace my boyfriend . I don’t know about u guys but me cheating led to me falling back in love with my boyfriend. So yeah I don’t think what I did was right but at the same time life is fucked up u gotta deal with it! All u ppl attacking her calling her a whore probably were either cheated on before or not in a long ass relationship (like years upon years)& if u were in a long ass relationship without cheating ur probably bored with ur significant other whether u wanna admit it or not . Don’t judge us until u try it!

  • Love
    February 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    I cheated once. My relationship did get better because all the anger and unresolved issues within me from the times he cheated were all released. I did feel so terribly awful about cheating on him even though he had done me wrong before.

  • curious
    February 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    dont listen to what people on here is telling you, i’ve been in your situation before, but it was she that cheated on me. as much as i want to sit here and call her a whore. the reality is this. sex is the biggest part of life believe it or not. it determines if you have a good day or not. what you did to your man just proves that men need to step up and be on their shit. if you was getting it like you and any other female imagine it then there would be no room for you to cheat you wouldn’t want to. one thing i do agree with others about is not telling him you cheated on him. i searched up this topic because i wanted to know if cheating sex was better than regular sex and you answered me. thank you. i was thinking that he was just better than me in bed she explained it to me just as you did. to summon it up what both you and her said is that you felt a certain way and in that way leads towards you doing what you fantasize about and fantasy is supposed to be exciting right so why would that not be mind blowing. if its not then why even bother having sex again with that person but onward to the finish line. you should tell him. when i forced her to tell me what went down if he was better and was he bigger you know you will get the third degree but if he loves you as much as you say he does then trust me your best bet is to tell him so he can work out his short commings and be a better lover for you or he will do what i did and find ways to put it in her mind that i was the best she ever had. in other words i showed her than what she was getting from me wasn’t all i had. and im assuming that thats the case with your boyfriend. at the same time you are to be at fault for than. we will never know just how freaky or dirty our lover is until we really try to tell them what we desire and sometimes it takes someone else to make us open our eyes to see that you need more. Lastly you say that you cheated and got away with it but one thing i have noticed is that a lie that you tell will always haunt you and you will always have to remember to cover up what lies you done told and sooner or later you will slip up. and later on in life when he do find out he will leave you because you didn’t have the balls to tell him that you cheated. that implies that thats something you are not regretful about something you might do later in life. tell him. our sex has went from her havn’t an orgasm one out of 3 sex session to her squirting orgasm juices everytime we had sex and i can safely say no doubt in my mind i have corrected my mistakes now she wants it more than even me. tell him he deserve to know you both deserve a honest relationship.

  • Brass tax
    February 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    I can’t resist… Guys: it’s healthy to express yourself and all, but can I please offer you some reality? You are not monogamous by nature, as a mammal, that is. Survival of the fittest isn’t fair but its fact. Also unfair, but let’s be real now – you’re not monogamous by choice, either. It’s cute that you think so, buuuuut. I’m sure you are 100% Man and um, can “put it down” or whatever you do. Ladies, is it only me… Sensitive men who post loong emotionally charged whiny/angry (?) rants about what cruel sluts we women are.. Not real sexy. And also whyyyyyy are you loyal clueless dilusional f@&$tards lurking around “lovepanky” anyway? Seriously.

  • Mike
    February 19, 2013 | Permalink |

    Interesting story makes me wonder if it is really true. She is not a whore because whores get paid she had sex with 2 guys for free. She cheated and acted slutty but men do it all the time. Almost everyone cheats at some point in their life including women. Men are just as slutty as women if not more.

  • Sally
    March 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m not going to judge the author as I’ve never been in her shoes but as a woman who actually believes in being faithful and honest in a relationship I think the author SHOULD tell her boyfriend what’s she done because that would be the right thing to do!!

    What right does the author have to keep it from him?? This man has every right to know and every right to make a decision as to whether or not he forgives her and stays.

  • kiko
    March 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    I think at the least that you should’ve been honest with your boyfriend so that he could know that he should wear a condom with you and be tested for STD’s. Very selfish and dangerous on your part. Yes, I speak from experience.

    You are not ready for a profound relationship. Your story; however, is like others that I have heard. For some reason, we think that all relationships are like the movies and that we all live happily ever after. It takes work, communication and being honest.

    You are an adult and if you wish to have sex with as many men as possible that is your option. Please have a heart and let him know what you are doing so that they can make a well informed decision about being with you, however, painful that might be. Unless, of course, you love having something stable because you are not mature enough to let him know about. I am sure what this means.

    As an adult please let us know that you are using protection and not just using a hope and a prayer that you don’t get pregnant or catch something.

    I really don’t think you understand what a relationship entails. I would love to hear how you define it and how you came to think that you have to reward a negative act with a negative act. You feel pain in your life and thus, you feel that you must create pain to feel justified for your behavior. Please look at your relationships and if you see a pattern understand how you came to develop your thinking process and behavior.

    Lastly, a lot of times, we act out behavior due to attachment issues that developed in early childhood and we become somewhat nutty trying to resolve them. Someone once told me this: there is nothing wrong with someone loving you the problem arises when we don’t understand what is a healthy and deserving relationship.

    Wish you love and peace.

  • guy
    March 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    Both men and women cheat, that’s true, but AT LEAST we -men- acknowledge we did something wrong and keep our fucking mouths shut, we don’t go around and merrily post an article about how right we were and how liberated or whatever we felt after doing it, or encourage others to do it and see “what works for them”.

    It’s disgusting to see all the other women defending the author because they did the same thing.
    You can’t even face the fact that what you did is WRONG so you need a support group for lying to yourselves. Like if you were a bunch of immature spoiled 5 year olds, for fucks sake.

    Seriously, you people are truly pathetic.

  • Lilly
    March 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Look, everyone can judge and say what they want but the truth is you can never really understand unless you’ve been in that position. I would hve judged and thought she was horrible but i have experienced a lot and i love this article. It’s so true. People will judge but until they’ve been there they have noooo idea

  • Joe
    March 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    You should tell your boyfriend. That is just not cool to have that kind of secret from the person that you “love”. You have to accept the consequences of your actions if there are any.

  • FZK
    April 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    OMG!!!, i have been with my Boyfriend for almost six years and we’ve been madly in LOVE we also want to start a family and live happily. Two months ago i started a new job, my boss seduced me and i kissed him :( can you tell me what to do? i like my boss and he makes me feel like i want him or sth. but deep dow i don’t want to cheat on my BF.
    thanks!!

  • Carla
    April 18, 2013 | Permalink |

    Honey, you were ovulating. That’s why this was a one week thing. It’s actually quite common for women to find a new man attractive during ovulation and even have numerous partners.

    I learned how my body worked the hard way, when I was unsure who the father might be after a week of extra activity. Good advice is to not drink or hang out with any men other than your partner the week you ovulate. It’s not that you lose control of yourself rather you just increase the odds you will make a mistake.

  • Kataz
    April 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    I just stumbled on this. Wow!!!! It is very intense, makes me forget what I am going through. Women and their cheats, where are we going? Are we able to maintain a healthy relationship anymore? I have read, girls screwing any guys just to cheat on their partner. What are we becoming? We are trowing morality and honesty out of the window for instant gratification. Sex is good, don’t get me wrong but don’t we draw a line between right and wrong. Everything is so blurry these days where we are seeking instant plaisir or revenge without thinking twice about who we are hurting.

  • Jane
    May 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    Most women cheat in a way or another (if not sex then random kisses or emotional affairs); they are simply very good at keeping it a secret.

    I think it’s because it has been done to us for -centuries! – and somehow we feel they(men) deserve it, they would do the same if given the chance. Obviously, it’s easier for women to find interested males but that doesn’t mean our partners wouldn’t take the opportunity.

    So somehow, I think we know it and that’s why don’t feel remorse and thus we are not showing any signs of our infidelity…

  • Alex
    May 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    BritBrat, cheating Is NOT acceptable. you need To understand EveryoneIs different. Two People who love each other should ONLY BE between them. This “Author” Is A slut And A complete whore….. She doesn’t need To break His Or anyone else’s Heart. If she simply wants Sex separate, from Him PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Then she can open her Legs As much As she wants

  • Alex
    May 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    And please, All of you “Women”…… Stop It. Don’t generalize All Men. And I’m A Female. Just because A lot Of People Do It, Doesn’t make It right. Is It alright To Murder Someone? NO. However plenty Do Murder……

  • Alex
    May 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hottie, you’re not so hot when you are being A total Hypocrite. Everyone Is different not every single Man cheats………. You are ignorant For thinking so. I’m A Female Men And Women are Equal.

  • Alex
    May 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    Her Boyfriend, I’m certain didn’t deserve It. She’s not being honest, If she were she”d tell Him. She’s a A complete loose ball. Total trash, And extremely selfish.

  • Alex
    May 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    Stephanie, you’re obviously immature. Your comment ” Lol Shit happens”. Proves My point that you don’t honestly love your Boyfriend. And you don’t consider Romantic Relationships As serious And important.

  • Alex
    May 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    Samantha, Murder Has been around since The beginning Of time. And plenty do Murder, However, Does this make It acceptable? NO. Cheating Is wrong, And selfish.

  • motargaggot@gmail.com
    August 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    This makes me the saddest I’ve been in a long time. Who can you trust, anymore? Just your parents and kids? I guess so. I don’t get the point of faking a relationship while holding on to such a dirty lie. Even if it goes on for 20 years, it’s all fake and you are having to pretend you are someone that you are not just to keep them in your little cage. The permanent single life is looking better and better, and that’s some woman’s loss who I would have loved to make very happy. Enjoy your prisoner.

  • Edward
    August 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t get this. Guys, if you happen to be in a boring long term relationship, please, don’t hurt the one that was once important to you. Ask him/her for a break, have as many dates or sex as you please, re-think your life and relationship and then make a choice. You don’t have to cheat.

  • Dave
    September 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    Needle in a haystack things never change ditch the cheater

  • OZ
    September 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hurt and Kim sum up this situation pretty well…Honestly so many aspects of this story make me feel disheartened and almost heartbroken for the boyfriend. I hope that you are sincere when you say how much the experience made you realize that you love your boyfriend but I can’t really bring myself to believe the honesty of those words, especially after all those insulting comments about him (“my ignorant boyfriend comes back”, “It’s easy to see why I stopped caring about my boyfriend and our petty fights”, “He came to me in tears to beg…”). Not to mention after he attempts to repair the relationship like a mature individual instead of running off with other sex partners like you did you deny him and continue. Really the sight of the one you claim to love on his knees reaching out to you with an apology AND seven years of happiness was not enough to stop fooling around? So you two had arguments – what couple doesn’t? At least your boyfriend was willing to admit his mistakes when it was obvious both of you were equally guilty of taking the other for granted. This is not even touching the subject of your infidelity with TWO men, one of which you actively sought after having fucked the first.

    Then there’s the part where you two get back together, it seems as if you only chose to reunite with your boyfriend because the other men didn’t have you as their TOP priority, seriously? It wasn’t enough that you were fucking three guys at once but God forbid that your illicit sex partners are guilty of doing the same thing as you. The most sickening part is you might not even have gotten back together with your boyfriend if the other man either didn’t have a girlfriend or decided he wanted to enjoy you that evening – that’s the event that gave you your epiphany isn’t it? Your boyfriend could forever be second best and possibly not even that to a person he loves wholeheartedly. Please honestly ask yourself if you would have turned back if your lover had not gone to his girlfriend that night…if the answer is no then leave the man you are with if you have any shred of decency left and still love him like you claim to.

    Finally, one has to agree with the people pointing out your selfishness, every action you took was because it made YOU feel better or gratified. The candlelit dinners and diamonds made YOU feel appreciated, the sex made YOU feel empowered, and your boyfriend coming back at first made YOU feel confused but the second time it made YOU feel safe. Yea ok, I’m sure this was a learning and enlightening experience that taught you multiple valuable lessons, somehow justifying the things you did in the process, yet nowhere in this story do you ever mention about how your boyfriend feels. How neglected HE must have felt and how utterly fucking miserable he probably was during those months you were feeling all empowered, fun, and sexy with other men. And of course somehow HE ends up comforting YOU as you sat on a couch crying like the victim. After everything, there isn’t even a mention of something YOU did in return for his devotion, just “feelings of gratitude” are sufficient apparently. Really it is hard to come off as a more entitled individual than you do. How can we believe you love him when you basically spend a good 3/4 of the article either demeaning your boyfriend or talking about how great the sex was with these incredibly hot guys and then write two sentences about how he makes you feel safe? Then there’s the clincher where you don’t admit to the horrible deeds you committed and say “it would only hurt him more,” acting as if it is an act of mercy and kindness and showing that you genuinely care about how this would devastate him. Be honest, maybe some of your intentions are sincere, but I am willing to bet most of it is self-preservation – you don’t want to risk the loss of his love because you know what you did was shitty, inexcusable and unforgivable but are afraid he won’t see you in the same way as he did before. At least have the decency to admit that. Then again you did say you didn’t regret your actions, so who knows maybe you don’t think what you did was repulsive – do you even feel a bit apologetic of how poorly you treated him?

    I would advise you to be honest, not just because it would be beneficial in the long-run for your relationship if he decides to forgive you (it would though) but also because he deserves it. He has loved you unconditionally and persistently, without any doubts, something that you can no longer say truthfully. After devoting himself to you for seven damn years, can you not do him the courtesy of at least giving him control of deciding whether to continue this relationship after the shit you pulled. Otherwise he will be in love with somebody that you are not, no matter how well you can pretend to be. Look I know I’m coming across as a judgmental prick but really your actions and thoughts speak for themselves…and to the people defending or applauding her, really ask yourself: Do you really believe that what she did was morally acceptable and even laudable or is it a way of validating your own mistakes in the past? Maybe the first guy can be justified with the cliche and honestly bullshit excuse of her feeling unappreciated but the second man? Really if people truly believe that then let everybody have affairs since they are such liberating experiences for our souls.

    If you take nothing else from this post at least realize this: you will forever owe him, even if you don’t take my advice and withhold the truth. You realize how “special and magical” your relationship is, so give him the best of yourself and don’t EVER pull this bullshit on him again. Nobody deserves it, especially not one as kind and forgiving as he is. Make him feel like the most wonderful and loved man in the world. Nothing you do can ever even the playing field; even if somewhere in the future he cheats on you you have to forgive him, how can you not when you did the same thing but also lie about it, unless you want to be a hypocrite as well. Ultimately, be the best wife you can be and never stray again because I am assuming you two eventually be married. You probably won’t even see or read this but best of luck…

  • Denis
    September 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    The most disturbing part of the story is the lack of indication that you treated your boyfriend any better after you two got together; nowhere do you say how he became more of a priority in your life. Even the guy who you cheated with left you when his girlfriend showed up…your boyfriend did the same thing but in tears while begging and you continued to walk all over him…classy. All we know is after this shit happened, he still treated you like a queen and was “blissfully ignorant” of how undeserving you are. Honestly, who can claim to love somebody when they rather f**k other people than talk to them over the phone. Skittles is right, you found out the grass wasn’t as green and are completely disrespectful to your boyfriend. Do you even think he has good qualities LOL? The entire story all I can tell is that from your point of view he took you for granted, was a desperate, pathetic person when begging, and the other men were better at sex, at least that’s how you put it. You compliment your lovers more than him ahaha! That is definitely true love…for cock and bullshit on your part imo. Then you proudly post this experience like most cheaters do while claiming there were crucial life lessons learned and how much better your life is…the nerve of some people. If you have ANY love for him like you say tell him the truth about how much of a terrible person you are, not were, ARE. But you won’t, it doesn’t help YOU does it, which is what everything is really about, not hurting his feelings lmao. If you didn’t want to hurt him you wouldn’t have spread your legs for TWO other guys – one wasn’t enough so you went looking for another the same week…wonderful. Please don’t let him kiss your cheating, c*ck-sucking lips any longer and go back to doing what you do best. Then there are the people saying don’t judge, you don’t know what it’s like to be in that situation!! So only a person who has made the same mistake can give any input? Sounds like another guilty party getting defensive…if we are going by your logic only murderers could judge murderers and criminals judge other criminals. The intelligence is astounding.

  • Gareth
    October 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    Just wow… I’ve noticed all the people condoning this story of selfish promiscuity are women?

    A lot of research recently has being conducted into the ‘anglobitch’ and ‘queen-bee’ syndrome. Essentially, the theories are based on Western, White women living in a society with absolutely no accountability and responsibility.

    The ‘anglobitch’ is one who has grown up in a world with no responsibility. Since being treated like princesses in their youths, all these women have to do is stamp their feet until they get what they want.

    If they are married or in a relationship they are able to cheat and whore themselves out to any other man when they see fit. In many cases, it’s justified because their own man hasn’t ‘pampered’ (as the author put) them beyond belief, or done every single minor thing that they believe they are entitled to. In many cases (like this one), the boyfriend or husband doesn’t really have to do anything wrong to be cuckolded (cheated on); if another man is giving her attention and buying her things, that’s enough to continue sleeping around.

    Imagine that the awful replies from the women in this thread were her actual friends. It would go something like this: the whore goes around f**king any man she likes (because she can), finally all her friends are around drinking coffee (or champagne). All of a sudden the whore bursts into tears, and admits to her friends she’s been sleeping around. What does she get? Nothing buy hugs and sympathy. What you did was right, you are a GOOD woman, and it’s not your fault you f**ked all those men. It’s your boyfriends fault (we’re not exactly sure how), but it is!

    Once the whore has been reassured she’s able to continue her life of cuckoldery for as long as she desires, because let’s face it; women are good at not getting caught if they don’t want to.

    Essentially, we men have become to blame. Anglo-men have become discardable pushovers; if we don’t satisfy every single need of the anglo-whore, she will discard you for another; OR – if its a matter of convenience (i.e . kids and a mortgage, financial investments etc) then she can happily balance her promiscuous life.

    If we cheat (which incredibly, according to research, is happening less amongst anglo-men) then more than likely we lose everything, and our name is absolute dirt in the community.

    This is why a lot of anglo-men are walking around with non-anglo women in the streets nowadays. The funny thing is anglo-women laugh at these men and say things like ‘Ha, he can’t get a white women because he’s probably got a small penis, or he’s a psycho’ etc etc. To the arrogant white woman, the only reason you’d be with a non-anglo woman is because you’re damaged in some way. The reality is we’re with non-anglo women (myself included) because the majority of them are honest, humble, traditional and good-people.

    If the anglo-whore continues, and white men begin making a stand they will slowly be bred out of existance.

  • Lupercal
    October 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m a man, and I’ve been in all three situations – the one cheated on, the one cheated with, and the cheater.

    All I can say is that people like the author is the reason so many people are embittered and unable to trust and happiness. I’ve been cheated on before, and it’s absolutely the worst thing imaginable. When I found out, she told me she was “bored”, and that I wasn’t paying enough attention to her. Fair enough, but after a relationship has been going on for a while, things begin to stagnate, and it is the responsibility of both parties to communicate and work together to fix things. If you don’t want to do that, or if you can’t keep staying committed, you end the relationship. Simple as that.
    Now, I’m not an ugly guy, by any means, and after that relationship ended, I played around for a long time, never really committing, sleeping with a lot of casual lovers; friends, acquaintances, total strangers, trying to fill the void that had been left by the betrayal and lies of someone I loved deeply and would never have hurt that way. Sleeping with girls who I knew or discovered to be in serious, long-term relationships, I became embittered and started seeing all women as inevitable cheaters. Hell, I even sabotaged a number of blossoming relationships I was in by blatantly and unrepentantly continuing to sleep around. My thinking was that I might as well, because eventually she’d just do the same to me.

    After two years of wandering around this moral and sexual wasteland, treating people like they were disposable, being dishonest, and not caring about the feelings of others, I realized I had become exactly what I hated in my ex. To all of the guys who say that women are inherently awful, I have this to say: there are bad people everywhere, and your hatred of evil can quickly turn your own personality into something vile and disgusting. Regardless of gender, there are great people, and there are scumbags. Are there entitled, selfish bitches? Sure. Are there callous, scumbag guys? I was one, baby. Are there also great people of both sexes who are a gift to those around them? Of course!

    And to all of the people, men and women, who think being an entitled, selfish, callous scumbag is okay, or even “empowering”, keep this in mind: your attitude towards people is always very apparent, and as people grow up and mature, they gain the wisdom and experience to be able to see the personalities of those around them in a true light. When treating others badly becomes normal for you, it becomes a habit, and your habits will always be apparent to those around you, male and female; potential lovers and friends will see you as you are, and treat you accordingly

  • Becca
    October 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t think you’re a whore and I found your article to be very helpful. I’m tempted to cheat on my boyfriend (who I’ve been with for three years) after this new guy I became friends with confessed his attraction to me, and I confessed that I found him attractive too. We only flirted but he admitted to wanting to actively pursue me until I give in to the temptation I have for him. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend; I love him and I know I’d be hurt if the roles were reversed. I’m not actively pursuing this new guy but he *really* wants to sleep with me. While I’m tempted and attracted to him, it’s only lust. “#6 You feel used, hollow and empty as soon as you orgasm” would probably happen. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  • Zeph
    October 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    It is females (you don’t deserve to be called a woman)like you that gives us a bad name.
    Sure, it is easy to cheat, just as easy as it is to stab your mother on the back. Backstabbing is the easiest thing to do. Also, if you’re a Christian, you know you’ll be going to the deepest circle of Hell together with Judas, right?
    What’s wrong about it? Let’s see: cheating, lying, potentially giving an innocent person a life-threatening disease and scarring them for life, lying again and thinking only of yourself. No religión in the world is going to accept it as good behavior. And cheating is an universal reason for divorce in married couples, did you know? It might be your boyfriend, but the fact that you’ve lived together for years make you no different from a married couple, even legally. You don’t tell him because he most likely won’t forgive you.
    All of the posters who defend that are people of no morals who will childishly justify any whim. Today will be cheating, tomorrow will be stealing because they liked something they couldn’t afford, the next day will be poisoning someone because they can’t stand them. You’re not only childish, you’re immoral.
    And even in the XXI century, some of us do believe moral and respect to the others is not outdated. The day it is, Earth will be worse than Hell.
    Like a person above said, what goes around comes around. I really hope you get what you deserve. Say hello to Judas for me.

  • Kobra
    October 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    Cheaters are some of the lowest forms of life on this planet, I can not believe how disgusting some human beings can truly be. Nothing more than dog crap stuck to the bottom of a shoe. All of you who condone this crap, are seriously sick in the head.

  • Shay
    October 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    I deeply respect you for cheating and keeping it a secret. If I ever have a girlfriend myself, I can only hope that she’d drown herself in lust. To me, sex is something to be experienced with numerous people. It’s totally separate from love. Imagine if people grew up in a society that completely accepted and embraced sexual pleasure.

  • Sam
    October 31, 2013 | Permalink |

    I wouldn’t say you are honest because no matter how you may lie your self into believing at least you were honest the fact is you weren’t where it mattered… You think you are intelligent & would be able to hide this for the rest of your life… Truth has a way of coming out. What you have to choose is whether you would like to be the 1to tell your boyfriend or would you like him to discover himself one day by fate from some 1 else at, which point he will not just loose trust in you & walk off but your mere thought he will detest & become disgusted of. No man worth even a dime will ever trust you after going through that. You have already betrayed him & deserve to loose him if he so chooses after he gets to know about the whole pure truth from you. There is no salvation in this trust me but at least give your self a chance to repent with honesty & repair your own self dignity… If he finds out himself about this from others, which he will one day sooner than later let me tell you that day you will loose your soul & no amount of repentance then would absolve you as then you would have not just caused him a grave injury to his heart but by hiding it you would add insult to it engraved by his soul & spirit. It’s your choice whether you wish to lie & loose it all or tell him the truth, loose him & repent for you mistake & repair your own self dignity… The hollowness you felt was actually your self respect & dignity crushed into million pieces… Think abt it. I can say so coz I found my ex gf cheating with another man yet lying to me consistently. I found it out from others… I know how it feels n no matter what I can’t even tolerate her thought of being in the same place if I ever bump into her. One says he / she moves on but one chooses how to move on with ur dignity intact or with it. It’s my view take it or leave it.

  • Kalle
    November 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    You are a disgusting whore. People like you make me think the talibans may be right and that you women really are as trustworthy and responsible for your actions as small children. I hope I’m wrong but you certainly haven’t proved me wrong. The right thing to do is making it legal to batter or kill your wife if you can prove she has been unfaithful. Would make them think twice about cheating AND going in a commited relationship in the first place.

  • Kalle
    November 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    Another thing. All men should start getting their balls back. Practice martial arts, lift weights, don’t let no woman or man step on you (make them feel the consequences if they do), walk, talk, stand and sit with confidence. Take shooting lessons and buy a gun, and make sure people know you have one . Read books like The Game, The Natural, The way of Men.

  • Mark
    November 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well, I as a man do not understand why someone would stay in a relationship with someone who they no longer love or respect. And yes I am sure you felt great after cheating as some of the females here who agree with you must have felt as well. If getting multiple guys to bed (which I can assure is probably not the hardest thing for ANY woman to do) makes you feel special or powerful, you are lacking some serious self esteem. I mean, this is the reason both sexes cheat? Self esteem boost! “after a while sex feels the same with anyone” – yes anyone who you might not be in love with. And to the guys here getting all mad at these women for agreeing to this behavior, just dont date these kinds of women. I mean it isnt hard to do. Ive seen womens hearts shattered over guys cheating on them so it works both ways. Its disrespectful to yourself as these guys who are dropping the hammer in you deep down are probably laughing and high fiving their pals at how they scored some whore who was so easy to give it up. Its heartbreaking to see how easily women give it up these days…. But there are a few good ones left who respect themselves and the men they love. Be cool all!

  • Sini
    November 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well…the space that exists in a relationship leads to many attractions, many a times fatal ones…
    As per my story my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend I was only 19 back then and he was 24. It was just 2 months of our being together, him and my friend were in the same city. He used to hang a lot with her and ended up breaking my trust. And I trusted him blindly back then letting him hang out with her. But I was shattered…..But every human being deserves a second chance, he was all tears and guilts so I forgave him. Now he love s me like crazy but still is damn flirtatious, he cares about me but never wants to hang out with me. he is like a psuedo-parent to me, but I don feel loved but annoyed most of the time, for him his friends are everything, but he is always sugar talking to me. I feel bad and hurt and I seriously wanna cheat on him ,,,but I cannot muster up such courage…as far as the author’s life is concerned…you did it got a chance and realised it I appreciate you….I wish my boyfriend realises the same…now I am 24 and he is 29…..his love as he says has grown and my mind is still confused…regardless of everything. So, sweetheart I really wanna say that once you have realised your mistake never cheat him again I never want anyone else like me in the making because of love.

  • udolipixie
    November 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    I love this article and those calling her a slut/whore and such likely wouldn’t be doing the same for a guy as guess what guys get excused for their promiscuity thanks to the slut double standard.

    @guy
    “Both men and women cheat, that’s true, but AT LEAST we -men- acknowledge we did something wrong and keep our fucking mouths shut, we don’t go around and merrily post an article about how right we were and how liberated or whatever we felt after doing it, or encourage others to do it and see “what works for them”.”
    That’s a big fucking lie as there are hundreds of thousands of articles telling and encouraging guys on how to successfully cheat on their girlfriends or wives. Yet when I google how to successfully cheat on your boyfriend or husband the results are ridiculously low in comparison.

    I find guys rarely acknowledge they did something wrong when they cheat no it’s her fault for not putting out enough or her fault for ‘denying’ him sex or ‘withholding’ sex aka not wanting to be fucked by him when she’s upset with him or just not in the mood because goodness knows how she feels is completely irrelevant when he demands sex.

  • disgusted
    December 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t know why this has become a war between the sexes …. Cheating is wrong for men and for women… and to say that someone applaud cheating gals because men do not get lashed as much as women do for cheating is really sad! No one should applaud a negative behavior just because someone else didn’t get punish by it… it has no sense.
    I really think we are talking about a broken relationship, the protagonist of this history totally disrespect her boyfriend and if she keeps in a relationship with him she will punish herself as much as she is punishing him… He is a victim here, he didn’t deserve what she did and she stills feels entitled to what she did… she is not prepared to be in a relationship.

  • Peekaboo
    December 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thank you for this article. I have been feeling like cheating on my boyfriend (of only a few months…) Our sex life hasn’t been so great lately, and I miss hot and steamy, no strings attached sex, from my single life. I just felt like calling an old fling and getting my frustrations out! Those of you who think she is a “whore” shouldn’t be so judgmental. People have different vices/ways of dealing with problems, and it’s hard when your partner isn’t satisfying you, even though you know they love you. Sometimes being in a relationship is tough, and people make mistakes. This woman is obviously a good looking, sexual female who has all sorts of temptations in front of her, and yes, it is hard when your relationship is going through a tough spot to just not give in. So lets stop pretending that relationships are like the perfect Disney movies that we have all been brainwashed with, and realize that people make mistakes and give into primal urges sometimes.

  • Sara
    December 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    Poor guy, You don’t respect him enough to be truthful, you lie by omission, you’re not a decent enough human being to regret cheating, and then you print your story hoping other weak willed women will take your lead and cheat on possibly the one man who loves them most in the world. You risk destroying this man when he finds out. And one day he will find out. You risked giving this man you claim you love stds, Where you even decent enough to get checked for stds? And don’t claim you used condoms! You are the kind of female that give women bad names and have men today believing all women are out to cuckold our men and give them nothing but sloppy seconds. I respect my husband too much to ever let another man touch me. And There isn’t a force powerful enough on this earth that would cause me to inflict upon him the pain and heartache of being cheated on and betrayed.

  • Liduvina
    December 31, 2013 | Permalink |

    I bet all those girls calling u a slut or whore are no better… I’m sure they had they have a list of mistakes too. Anyways thanks for sharing ur story

  • Liduvina
    December 31, 2013 | Permalink |

    Oh yeah and to the Sara above…. Shut the he’ll up with ur judging, who the he’ll are u to judge?Only one who can do that is God. Blah blah blah spare us the whole “your the kind of female that give women bad names” when men are just as low or worse…. For all you know he could have cheated too so just shut up. Again thanks for ur story

  • Adam
    January 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    I can’t believe I’m even responding to this article, as if the writer of this article is actually a human being. Speaking as a guy who’s been around, it’s people like you that give women a bad name, in a way victimizing all the good women out there as well as your cheat victims. You really have no sense of conscience, no loyalty, no honesty, no care about what you do to other human beings. You pretty much fit the textbook definition of a sociopath.

    And don’t give us that BS about you still love your boyfriend — you never would have done any of this if you loved him. You would always be open and honest with him if you loved him. If things really got bad between you two, raise the issues and discuss them, or break up then you can do whatever you want. Simple as that.

    And the reason you STILL won’t be honest is not because “Oh, he just doesn’t need to know,” it’s because you know exactly what will (rightfully) happen if he knew.

    To all these people defending her, you are sick, disgusting creatures who will never find any lasting happiness in your lives due to your own actions and values coming back to bite you in the a**. She’s not being “open about her mistakes,” she’s PROUD of what she did and has no regrets.

  • Anomymous
    January 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    Thanks for the post. I’ve cheated once before and it was a terrible mess when I confessed. You’d think I learned my lesson, but I met a guy recently whom I can’t stop thinking about, especially now when I can’t see or talk to him. I felt so happy and excited to meet and get to know him. I know it’s only lust and that I wouldn’t trade my significant other and our life together for anything. But my impulses are driving me crazy and reading this has calmed my nerves a bit.

  • dovey45
    January 23, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have a similar story as this author’s. sexual online chatting at 1st and then ended up having sex with a guy as i was living abroad for working. from the begining there s been only one thing i ever care about: myself. i didn’t love him but just wanted to find a good man who i can count the rest of my life on. but then the lust inside me aroused so intensely that i decidedi didn’t te to betray him. nevertheles i didn’t and wouldn’t tell him about that coz 1stly i dont wanna lose him.; 2ndly, it would hurt him so badly if i confess to him; 3rdly will never cheat on him again. my advice is TRY NOT TO STRAY In THE FIRST PLACEe. i’ve been suffering the pain and regrets since then. i would have suicided if it wasn’t for my parents and those who care for me. i never stop blaming and torturing myself for being such a cruel slut.

  • TGrand
    January 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    Amazing article!

    The reality is that life isn’t black and white. Cheating isn’t always about what you are not getting from your relationship. Some people are inclined to cheat. I have cheated a couple times. The first time because I really just wanted to get back at my BF for cheating on me. The second time because the sexy French Bartender was sexy. The third because I met a bad boy that I just couldn’t resist.

    Flash foward to now, i’m in a great relationship with one of my Ex’s that I dated a couple years ago. Cheating is a vice that needs to be curved since it’s really easy to do. These days innocent flirting is as far as I take it. My BF is my ideal type of guy and I love him, but we are naturally curious beings.

    I applaued you for not telling him you cheated. Cheating isn’t about him, it’s about you. You are the one that ultimetly has to come to terms with your actions. Trust me, we end up feeling bad enough after the act.

  • Someone
    January 27, 2014 | Permalink |

    The woman in this story was not ready to be in a committed relationship. Obviously she needed to “sow her wild oats”. Unfortunately, this came at the expense of her boyfriend. Of course, she gets to have her fun while the bf has no clue what was going on behind his back. Sadly, she didn’t tell him because she’s selfish, and her poor boyfriend doesn’t realize the relationship is a lie. If you can’t put the full effort into a serious relationship, and you can’t be honest with your partner, you shouldn’t be in one.

  • alex the greatest
    January 27, 2014 | Permalink |

    Reading this article reminds me of why i support female circumcision. Dont blame us guys for controlling females, when female hormones clearly make them incapable of making rational decisions (no won der most leaders are male) and they act like sluts. Thats why any woman I date will have her phone wiretapped, and her email keylogged. Dont trust anyone, hire a PI, and if they do something wrong, blackmail them. 99 percent of the humans on this planet are low class and stupid and this is exactly what they deserve (both men and women.)

  • alex the greatest
    January 27, 2014 | Permalink |

    If any male on here needs a female to be monitored and controlled let me know. Articles written by dumb females like this who are drowning in their female hormones, prove that women need to be treated this way- and yes, I’m a very proud misogynist- women like her are the reason why every male should be empowered to take charge and keep from being cuckolded. There is a reason why males were made stronger, smarter and superior in every way, and we need to use our powers to show these dumb females who’s boss.

  • Phalanx
    January 27, 2014 | Permalink |

    I don’t understand why everybody brings up gender when it comes to cheating; it’s a shitty thing to do with the potential to devastate and traumatize another person regardless of whether the offender is a man or a woman. I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy, much less a person I claim to love and care for. It isn’t an issue of “men not acknowledging their behavior” or “women bragging about their exploits on the internet” although these accusations could very well hold some truth, but cheaters in general trying to justify their actions with a myriad of excuses.

    It’s also amazing how some people find the author’s actions laudable…seriously? Did we read the same article? She fucks around behind her boyfriend’s back for months while he tries to reconcile then turns to him for comfort when one of her booty calls turns her down, and lies through omission about her infidelity. Yet somehow this is exemplary behavior to a fairly large group that I highly suspect to consist of individuals that have cheated in their relationships as well. News flash, the decision to keep her unfaithfulness a secret doesn’t make her a martyr who’s sacrificing her happiness to protect her boyfriend’s feelings. She’s covering her own ass and her lying is a way of ensuring that the guy will stay in the poor excuse for a relationship when really, he’s an adult who is fully capable of making INFORMED decisions about his life.

    And the “don’t judge until you’ve been in their shoes” argument? It’s remarkable how popular that phrase is among cheaters…I wonder if you actually believe in that statement or are just trying to deflect responsibility. The only real wonder is how it hasn’t become more popular with criminals. I can almost hear the flimsy defenses, “Yea man, until you know how hungry I was, you can’t judge me for killing and robbing!” Lovely.

    Ultimately, I don’t know what frightens me more, this article or the people who think it’s an amazing and enlightening read.

  • Val
    January 29, 2014 | Permalink |

    You were ovulating. I had a similar experience years ago, stepped out on my boyfriend for a week and went a bit wild. Mind blowing sex but one of my lovers got me pregnant. Telling my boyfriend was hard enough but then having to explain to my parents I wasn’t sure who the father was turned out to be even harder. It all worked out and I love my son but sure wish I had understood my body better back then.

  • Spencer
    February 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    It’s funny how a lot of people here bring up the fact that cheating and monogamy in and of itself is a human construct and all this shit but then go on to talk about polygamy and how there’s nothing wrong with having an open relationship. Goddam imbeciles. An open relationship implies that it is mutual and there is consent from both sides. That’s different from cheating. If you want to have this sort of relationship that bad but your partner doesn’t then you shouldn’t be together.

    You all speak lightly of being cheated on as if it’s something you yourself can take in stride if it happened to you. Go ahead and continue being that aloof in life and I guarantee that any man/woman you date with even a LITTLE bit of compromised integrity will exploit you and have fun with someone else. I’d love to see the expression on your faces then. Will you preach the same thing you say here when you call others judgmental for thinking the author of this is a whore.

    Oh and for the sake of argument, the author is a whore, but I at least respect her for acknowledging it rather than trying to mount some kind of soap box and use pity from clowns like you to assume some sort of moral high ground after all she’s done. You people seriously need to grow up. My girl let some guy give her a hickey once. She claimed it wasnt even sexual and that shit still drove me crazy because she didnt even admit it to me, I had to find out myself first and I gave her hell for it. I cant even imagine what people with partners who have continued flings in secrecy are going through and I don’t want to.

  • Anonymous Male
    February 6, 2014 | Permalink |

    I don’t even know what to write.
    Have any of ever given your heart!
    If you have, the very thought of you cheating on that person would hurt you because it would hurt them.
    This is the way it should be: give your heart, show them that you love them and never take your love for each other for granted.
    For those of whom who know cheating is immorally wrong and are upset at those of whom who see cheating as ok…..
    Don’t try to convince them with words, words are not enough.
    Do good and be a better example and that is all it takes!

  • Mark128
    February 28, 2014 | Permalink |

    Yes many women will tell you that behavior is ok. But in the end do you care about your image to women or to men? Its fine and dandy if your secret never gets out but no man would take a seeious step with you as his partner if he knew. Second of all it made you feel powerful to juggle three men. Well news flash as a woman its very easy for you to get laid so to feel power from being used by multiple men is an oxy moron. Each dude put you as a notch on their belt an easy conquer. And of course other women will come here and tell you its ok but they are whores too so their view is null and void. And as a man who well who at some point in this world history who would have to work at gettinf laid can say me myself wouldnt feel good about myself juggling 3 different women. Yes I could rob three banks get away with it and feel good about it but in the end id still be a losa

  • Scotty
    March 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    Your boyfriend is stupid. And everybody knows when things start getting a little boring in your life; you’ll be cuckolding that bitch again. Try a tall black man next time (or two). I bet you could even get your sissy beta boyfriend to watch and masterbate.Take it to the next level.

  • Adrian
    March 19, 2014 | Permalink |

    What happened here has nothing to do with monogamy, if it is ok or not. It has to do with respect for yourself and to others. If you consider yourself at least a good person, then you should be able to commit to what you get into, in this case a monogamous relationship. You knew the rules of the game, and breaking them (or bending them) only shows how little respect, empathy and selfdiscipline you have. You just don´t know what you want and you can´t communicate this either. In the process you just hurts others.

  • Jim
    April 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    If you “love” your boyfriend like you say you do….he deserves to know..that is all.

  • SK
    May 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    I think when he cried, he may have got the clue or even know that you are cheating on him. But, he just wanted you back. And personally, I think your statement saying ” He doesn’t even know” just felt very bad . It’s like you are very excited that you got away with it. But, I think he knows and He doesn’t want to hurt you. But, it’s your life. You to have to live with it. Hoping it will go well throughout your life considering that their is only one is truthful in the relationship.

  • Hello?
    May 17, 2014 | Permalink |

    Today I learned…cheating on your bf repeatedly over one month is ok as long as you are ovulating. Good to know.

  • Harry
    May 19, 2014 | Permalink |

    How is this article even on here? This is absolutely disgusting, I can never agree with this in particular “#8 It’s better to avoid telling your boyfriend that you cheated unless you know you’ll get caught. [Read: Should you ever confess to cheating?]”

    Id dump any girls ass in a second if they admitted that they cheated on me, Id much rather them tell me the truth so I can dump them then live in a relationship of lies.

    I just cant believe the tone of this article, its as if you condone cheating in some regards.

  • Katherine
    May 31, 2014 | Permalink |

    The truth will always come out. It will hurt your boyfriend more in the end when he finds out he’s been lied to this whole time. Love is honest, not deceitful.

  • dmoney
    June 15, 2014 | Permalink |

    Tellthst man the truth or this experience is incomplete. To be forgiven you must tell the truth or else everything is a lie. Eventually he will find out and be even more bitter. Your being a coward like the men who cheat bottom line.

  • silkblaze
    June 19, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am having somewhat a similar experience.. But the problem is… Now I am addicted to cheating with this one particular guy.. And it’s not like the sex with him is great or anything.. Its just that I am addicted to that forbidden fruit feeling… Help!?! I need to snap out of it and love my bf wholeheartedly again!!!

  • Nayak
    June 30, 2014 | Permalink |

    This is the most disgusting article I have ever read, mainly because the author here feels no real remorse for her actions and it seems she is actually justifying her infidelity.

    Bluntly speaking you are the most shallow, petty minded and hypocritical person I have ever come across my life. Tell me, how would you have reacted if your boyfriend too cheated on you with two girls behind your back?

    You felt bold and empowered by having sex with strangers! That shows how insecure you are and that you have the maturity and and self-control of a toddler. Frankly speaking you are pathetic and your boyfriend could really do so much better than you.

    You don’t love your boyfriend, if you did you would have never cheated on him with two men no less. You have no respect for him as well.. So please do him a favor and come clean with him. He deserves to know the truth and the right to leave you for some one who will truly love and respect him.

    And if you think that your relationship with your boyfriend is going to last long then you are delusional! Often cheating is simply a symptom of something wrong with the relationship in the first place.

    Besides an irresponsible and selfish person like you doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship. You are not a whore, you are worse than that!

  • Tane
    July 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    I agree with Nayak.

    Very selfish of you not letting him know the truth. He didn’t deserve any of that. You don’t deserve him.

    I hope he found out and left you. Because you know that was gonna happen.

    Exploring self happiness in secrecy with numerous acts of adultery. Doesn’t give you the right to withhold the truth from him.

    All this trouble for excitement has led you to finally realize the love and hugs he provides cannot be compared? The boyfriend was the victim in your disloyalty. NOT YOU.

  • anonymous female
    July 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    I was in a LT relationship with my boyfriend for over a decade, and at first it was magical, but soon he became abusive. The sex was hot and we were also best friends…Due to the abuse, we had to separate, yes there were other men in my life, but I felt I deserved to cheat because of the way he treated me….I never loved the others like I loved him and I was honest with him but it was too good for things to end and we always took each other back each time. We had our ups and downs an off and on thing as we were long distance. Towards the end of the relationship, I realized he completely took me for granted, as I did all of the work, all of the driving to see him. His “love” and sex were powerful and addictive and especially because he was a bad boy. There were many flaws but the worst thing he did was yell at me and lecture me. He has also hit me before and left bruises *years ago, towards the end the abuse was purely mental and emotional. It was a long distance relationship and during one of our off times I met someone else. I told my abusive, long distance boyfriend about the other person…And he tried to kill himself. I saved his life, gave him CPR and called the cops….. I went to pick him up at the hospital the next day. I was happy we both survived and I felt that we could start anew….But…..Once again……… He lectured and emotionally abused me the entire ways home and wouldn’t let me sleep when I had stayed up all night worrying about him being in the hospital and feeling like it was my fault for admitting I cheated. I had discarded the stuff he had used to try to kill himself but he was just angry that he was still alive….He didn’t even realize how much agony he had put me through watching him die in my arms.

    I tried to leave town and he followed me to the gas station wanting to continue to yell at me. He would not let go. I had to hide out on the side of the road. At this point my exciting dramatic relationship was way too exhausting. We no longer talk and I prefer it to be that way….I am happy that he is alive but I still hate myself for telling him that I cheated. I feel it’s my fault that he almost died. I’m still relieved that he is out of my life.

  • anonymous female
    July 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    I used to be like other people on here who judge others for cheating but let me say every cheater gets what they deserve in the end…They don’t need your judgement because karma will pay them back. For me, I get flashbacks of his near suicide every day like a ghost is haunting me.. Most nights I cry myself to sleep.

  • Anonymous
    July 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    Lmaooo so let me get this straight females are ok with cheating and getting cheated on……. I didn’t know that, wait till I tell my boys in relationships about this shit ????????????????????

  • Anonymous
    July 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    Didn’t mean to generalize it btw I was talking about some females not all

  • goss
    July 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    you are such a joke. Why would you waste your time documenting such meaningless garbage. Grow up

  • Anonymous
    July 6, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’m sorry goss are you mad? Did I offend you in some way? Lighten up bruh it’s not that serious But anyway I probably should say something about the story ummm to the Author try to put yourself in his shoes I’m pretty sure that u would want the truth no matter how bad it hurt and I honestly believe u know that and the reason u don’t wanna tell him the truth is because you don’t wanna lose him.if that’s what your doing just say there is no point in lying to a bunch of people who don’t know who u are. I really recommend that you tell him tho but that’s your choice but if he finds out from someone else he’s definitely going to leave you just saying.

  • Alex
    July 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    No, she Isn’t A Whore. She’s A Slut. If she Was Honest she Would Tell Hm. She’s A Coward And Selfish. I Don’t Understand The So Called “Power.” People Feel By Disrespecting Others And Sleeping Around. If So, WHY BE IN A RELATIONSHIP?! Be A Slut. A Single Slut. Slut. Karma Will Strike And It Will Be Painful. And, Two Wrongs Doesn’t Always Make It Right.

  • Sunshine
    July 15, 2014 | Permalink |

    When your boyfriend couldn’t make your sleepover and you found out the next morning that his girlfriend held him back.. you were annoyed…how did you handle this? What did you say to him? Did you end it right there?

  • AF
    August 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    I get it, I have been with a guy on and off for the last few years. When he does decide to give me sex, it’s amazing. When I go to him when I want sex, he is asleep. We all have needs. I have 2 guys that I have. One has a girlfriend, the other is just a freak. I get my needs met. I don’t want to leave my boyfriend. The guys don’t want to be my new boyfriend. It is just sex. Doesn’t mean that your a whore, your just a sexual being. Although the best thing for chicks like us to do would be to actually talk to the boyfriend and try new stuff and see if you can get that spark back, but tell ya the truth, I don’t really have time for that, so for now I will have my cake and eat it to,

  • boris
    August 6, 2014 | Permalink |

    I don’t usually write on these things, but I cannot stand these judgemental fucks calling you names (contradiction from self). At the most conservative 1/3 people will cheat, thus a shit load of people on here will or are being cheated on! I got cheated on, fuck its life. Were not together but no hard feelings. I’ve cheated too, not proud of it and don’t want to do it again. Ultimately its called life!- so long as you learn from it, grow as a person, and love your partner then just keep living (but not cheating) PS. Do not tell if you have cheated…the only reason people do is to unburden their own selfish guilt and that they can’t deal with. If however you can’t stop cheating then move but still don’t tell. Your not married, have not given vows and are not a criminal! Of all my friends I know of only 2 that have not cheated (yet they sext), I have had a sexual girl mate who was with me when engaged and is now happily married with kids (I was just a fling) perhaps that confirmed who she wanted…its just life!!!

  • Mr. Smith
    August 8, 2014 | Permalink |

    I can respect the fact you are honest about your feelings, in which you relay on a internet site to get opinions of others just like you would to a psychologist because it’s confidential in a weird way. However, I don’t think it’s fair not to be up front with your boyfriend, yes it may devastate him and end your relationship or maybe it won’t, but he deserves to know the truth. With that being said he is a boyfriend and not a husband which makes a little difference. I’m glad you didn’t marry him to find yourself cheating after marriage and that is the key to getting everything out of your system prior to marriage. It seems these days everybody is in a rush for the big “Party” in marriage rather than make sure it’s going to work. As you mentioned there is a difference in being in love and loving someone, if you just love them, odds are you will cheat again because he isn’t what you are looking for physical pleasure.

  • frankie
    August 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    i’m going to be sick!

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