We know just how intimidating it can be to send a naughty text to the person you’re dating. Here’s how to start sexting when you never have before.
Being new to sexting is a little scary. You aren’t sure how to do it or the rules you have to follow in order to stay safe. Sometimes you’re even nervous of sending a bad picture or sounding dumb when you’re just trying to be sexy. If you want to learn how to start sexting your lover, you first have become comfortable with the idea of it.
Because it’s not a very comfortable thing if you think about it. You’re putting yourself out there in ways that you never normally would just to please someone else. But sometimes the risk is worth it if the reward is pretty great.
Sexting is a great way to expand your relationship and spice up your sex life
Relationships can get pretty stale after a while. When you’re with someone for a long time, you just kind of settle into a routine that can actually be bad for your relationship. You stop appreciating each other in new ways and ultimately, it stunts the progression of your relationship.
In order to keep things fresh, new, and exciting, just start sexting. When you open up in this way and show your partner you still want to have fun, it can spark something new in the both of you. This helps increase your intimacy and bond you further. [Read: 16 mind-blowing ways to spice up your relationship]
How to start sexting if you’ve never done it and are shy as hell
I’ll be the first to tell you that this will be a learning process. If you’ve never sexted someone before, you’ll need to know how to do it in a way that’s subtle and sexy. Here’s how to start sexting when you’re a newbie to sending those naughty texts.
#1 Just relax. It’s not that big of a deal. Yes, sexting can be a little dangerous if you’re not careful but if you’re doing everything right, it’s pretty simple. This is someone you love and care about. They respect you and treat you well.
#2 Think about what your partner likes most. A great way to make sure your partner will like your sexting is to focus on something they’d like. You know what they like in bed, right? Use that knowledge to tailor your texts to what they like.
Are they a fan of dirty talk? Great! That’s the easiest way to start sexting and get them riled up. Just sext them the phrase you know they like best and watch them get super excited over the phone.
#3 Ease into it with some flirting. If you’re shy about actually sexting in general, it’s much easier to start with some heavy flirting. Send a few wink faces and be a little flirty in general. Then simply make your next text a little naughtier than the rest. It’ll be just enough to get their mind thinking in the right direction while also keeping it simple. [Read: Sexy, naughty texting games to ease into sexting]
#4 Send a teasing photo. If you want to know how to start sexting, you’ll also want to know how to send a great naughty photo. Sometimes just sending a sexy snapchat will be enough to get your partner to start the sexting. This takes the pressure off you completely and you can just go with the flow.
#5 Tell them how much you wish they were there. Knowing what to say to start a sexting conversation is probably the hardest part. Where do you even begin with you’re a sexting newbie? A perfect thing to do is to tell your significant other how much you wish they were with you.
It doesn’t seem very naughty at first but you can easily segue into telling them exactly why you wish they were there. This is made even easier if you do it very slowly. Just tell them how you wish they were lying next to you, then how you wish their hands were on you. It’s a very simple thing to say that can be adapted in a lot of different ways. [Read: 20 naughty text messages to start a sexting conversation]
#6 Talk about their fantasies. I’m sure by now you know a few things your partner fantasizes about specifically. Why not play up those fantasies? If you already know they like them, it takes a ton of the insecurity out of them. Are they into nurses? Put on a cute little outfit and send a teasing picture of just the skirt bottom. It’ll be enough to spark their interest and make you look like a sexting pro.
#7 Talk about your fantasies. What about the things you fantasize about? Does your partner know about them? If so, just tell them how much you want them to be the ones to make those fantasies come true.
Knowing that, out of anyone, you chose them to satiate your deepest desires, they’ll be more than turned on.
#8 Have some confidence. Firstly, no matter what you say, it’ll sound hella hot if you have confidence. Secondly, being confident is the sexiest thing you could ever do. Nobody will doubt you or think badly of you if you own what you say. So practice some confident talk and hold your head up high. [Read: How to build self-confidence in 16 ways]
#9 Only sext when they have free time. If they’re super busy and can’t respond, you really shouldn’t text them. They won’t be able to fully appreciate it and you’ll get discouraged when you don’t get a reply.
Save your sexting for times when you know they have plenty of time to get back to you. You can do this when they’re away for work and just relaxing in their hotel room or even when they’re at a friend’s house watching a sports game. Choose your sexting time wisely before going for it.
#10 Be bold about it. Don’t hold back. If you’re really hesitant, it’ll come across that way. You really have to put everything you’ve got into it and stick with your words. If you think the best way to get your lover’s attention is by sending a fully nude picture, do it. Go big or go home, as they say. [Read: How to take perfect pussy selfies on the very first try]
#11 Figure out if they’re interested in it. Not everyone is going to like sexting. Sometimes people are uncomfortable with having their partner get so personal on a device that can be hacked and sometimes they just get frustrated because they’ll want to be there while you’re getting sexy.
You’ll easily be able to tell if your partner is into it based on their feedback. Are they only sending one-word replies or are they replying right away with extensive material for you to work with? I think you know which means they’re interested. [Read: How to initiate sexting and make your partner horny for you]
#12 Don’t overthink it. Chances are, if you’re reading this feature, you’re nervous. You don’t know how to sext and it’s holding you back from a potentially amazing thing for your relationship. The best thing you can do is to just stop thinking about it so much. Follow these tips and allow your instincts to guide you. If you start getting turned on while sexting your lover, you’re going in the right direction.
Learning how to start sexting can be a little frightening simply because you’re new to the whole thing. Luckily, you’re sexting someone you know very well and care about deeply. Let go and have fun with it.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...