Knowing how to initiate sexting can change your entire sex life. If you’re not sure how to do this without making it awkward, we’ve got you covered.
Sexting is definitely something all couples should be doing no matter what. But not everyone knows how to initiate sexting in a way that’s actually hot. All too often people try to sext their partner and are met with confusion and awkwardness – the exact opposite of sexy.
Why your relationship needs some sexting
When is the last time your partner turned you on while they weren’t even physically there? If you don’t sext, you probably can’t think of the answer. That’s the difference between whispering naughty things in their ear and sexting it to them. They’re not around and yet, you’re still turned on.
Your relationship needs that. Why? Because of a little something I like to call anticipation. This small thing can completely change your relationship for the better. When all you want to do is get home so you can tear off your lover’s clothes, your sex life and relationship can become so much stronger. [Read: 14 sexy tips to effortlessly sext like a pro]
How to initiate sexting and make your partner want you for real
The trouble with this is that it can be difficult to know how to initiate sexting. Sometimes you get the urge to send that dirty text but you don’t because it would be completely out of left field and you’re not sure how your partner would respond.
#1 Go ahead and do it out of the blue. Just be careful about what you say. Start off with something simple. The thing that can be hard about doing this out of the blue is that you don’t always know if they’re available to receive your naughty texts. They might be busy and it could just throw a wrench in their day.
#2 Be subtle at first. If you’re nervous about initiating sexting, take it easy and start subtly. Say something that doesn’t necessarily seem overly sexual right away, but that you could turn into something dirty if you wanted to.
#3 Gauge their interest level. This is actually very easy to do. After you send the initial sext, see what they reply with. If it seems uninterested, drop it for now. However, if you notice they’re replying much faster than usual, they’re definitely liking it.
#4 Do it when you know they can actually respond. There’s not much more awkward than sending a naughty text and not receiving anything back for a couple hours. So if you know they’ve got a big meeting at work and won’t be free to sext, don’t send it.
#5 Tell them that you can’t stop thinking about last time in bed. This is an easy way to not only make your partner feel great, but also get the texts moving in a sexual direction.
By doing this, you’re making them think about the last time you were in bed. You can even start describing in detail what you like and that can lead you to discussing what else you’d like. [Read: 40 naughty and playful sexts to send]
#6 Send a text saying you can’t wait to see them later. This isn’t overtly sexual, but you can easily turn this conversation into something like that. If they don’t respond with anything, drop the sexting. However, if they ask you why, you can bring up something in the bedroom.
#7 Just say, “I miss you,” with a wink face. That little wink face is all they’ll need to know where your head is at. They might even ask what you miss about them. That’s your opening to talk about anything dirty and naughty.
#8 Ask them what they’re doing. Then if they ask you the same thing back, you can say something like, “I wish I was doing you.” It’s not super blunt, but it’s definitely riskier than other things. However, sometimes knowing how to initiate sexting is knowing that you have to take risks every now and then. [Read: 20 steamy texts to start a sexy conversation]
#9 Tell them that you have a surprise for them in the bedroom. It’s a simple sentence, but it’ll definitely get their attention. Their thoughts will immediately go to a sexual place and they won’t stop thinking about what that could be.
#10 Tell them there’s something you’d like them to do to you in bed. Make sure you do this in a way that’s not making them feel like they’re not already pleasing you. If you say this, do it so they know you just want to try something new. Then describe, in detail, just what that is. [Read: 10 kinks to try in the bedroom at least once]
Tips for making the most of sexting
In order to make your sexting the most effective, you’ll want to follow some of these tips. If you don’t do these things, it can make the moment more awkward than arousing.
#1 Be confident in what you say. If you feel weird about saying something, they’ll notice. It’ll also make them feel uncomfortable and that’s just a no-go for sexting. So be confident. Say what you say with pride and hold firm. [Read: 8 steps to being more confident in the bedroom]
#2 Talk about things you know they really like. In order to learn how to initiate sexting, you have to know what they like most in bed. Do they love when you’re on top? Then talk about how much you want to ride them. They’ll be interested right away and it’ll open the door to sexting for you.
#3 Back up what you say. If you say you’ll do something in bed over sexting and then refuse once you’re actually getting frisky, they’ll never want to sext again. And that’s because they won’t believe you. So back up whatever you say when you’re texting.
#4 Make sure they’re into it. Don’t continue trying to sext someone if they don’t like it. Some people just aren’t good at it and it makes them uncomfortable. Accept that and don’t push it. If you do, it’ll just be awkward and create unwanted tension. [Read: This study shows why you should definitely start sexting]
#5 Have fun with it. Don’t take sexting too seriously. I know learning how to initiate sexting can be intimidating and sometimes weird, but it should be fun. Laugh at yourself when something sounds odd. Work together to just have a great time while turning each other on.