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  • D
    October 23, 2012 | Permalink |

    Your method of thinking disgusts me. Each day hundreds of women complain about finding an honest, nice guy. You found one and then broke his heart for your own selfish reasons?
    Ever thought about the guy you’re leaving behind?
    He’ll be left broken and questioning whether going through all the effort of keeping a woman happy for several years is worth it, if they can just throw it away on a whim.
    Have you ever wondered why exactly it’s so hard to return to an ex-boyfriend that you do this to? It’s because you completely destroy their heart and force them to re-evaluate their approach to life. They become less trusting and less inclined to let the opposite-sex in – they may even treat them worse and not be so much of a ‘nice guy’ anymore.

    You should NEVER leave your boyfriend/husband for a reason such as this. If you have any concerns whatsoever about your future, bring these up with him NOW so you can both discuss it. Bringing it up completely out of the blue when he doesn’t expect it is the meanest and bitchiest thing you can do in life. I hope you’re proud of that.

  • Nessa
    November 20, 2012 | Permalink |

    you did nothing wrong. You two were not ment for eachother. It’s your life, you shouldn’t stay in a relationship because it appears “perfect”. “I love you but I just love me more.” Samantha said that in sex and the city and its so true. You hit a point in your relationship where it was fulfeeling for him yet it wasn’t for you. His happiness isn’t priority; yours is! And if you both were happy… there you go. Both of you guys were in love. But, that isn’t the senairo. Congrats, off walking away from a dead end relationship.

  • Keri Valentine
    December 5, 2012 | Permalink |

    I really enjoyed reading your article. I don’t think you are being selfish at all. I recently have gone through the same thing and I have never looked back. I always say TRUST YOUR GUT. If for some reason you feel you need to get out and live independently by all means go for it! It’s not always about the right guy but the right timing too. Always do what you feel is right. That is all. Thank you :)

  • Chels
    December 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    You just described my life!! I loved your article and your honesty… I think you did a great job and you have given me more to think about :)

  • A Guy looking for answers
    January 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m so glad I found this article!!! A girl I fell in love with broke up with me a few months back and it was actually the first time I’d been strongly in love (although for me being strongly in love is probably what is average love for most people). Naturally since she is the most amazing woman I’ve yet encountered, I was very upset about her decision to breakup. And she told me EXACTLY what you told your ex, but from maybe a different angle.

    She told me how wonderful I was, and I believe her because I know for a fact she told all her friends the same thing. She told me how much she loved the way I touched her and just the way I was overall. So I’m listening to this thinking “so why don’t you stop treating me like a child and just say that you just don’t like me that much anymore?” Anyway, I questioned her, I asked the uncomfortable questions trying to get the “real” truth out of her so that I could get some closure about the whole thing, but she just kept saying that she doesn’t want a relationship right now. Your article has provided me the closure I needed since I couldn’t get this clear of an explanation from my ex.

    I now realize why so many older men have told me never to love a woman very much. It all makes sense now. They told me basically to just date women, treat them well, don’t cheat on them if you’re in a relationship, don’t play games with them, but still DON’T deeply love any woman. Now I can see why because if a woman can love you and not want to be committed to you, then why bother letting her into your heart in the first place? BIG lesson learned!!! I’m guessing this is a difference between women and men but I can’t love someone and not be committed to them at the same time. I loved the feeling of being in love with a woman and truly loving her for who she was, but in the end I can see that it’s not worth it after it’s over. I now greatly respect the wisdom of the men who’ve warned me about this. But I’m glad I took a chance on that kind of love either way.

  • Kat
    January 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    My boyfriend of 7 years proposed a “break” a week ago. I am devastated and was looking for answers on why. He says he loves me but needs time to figure out if he wants to be with me. I call this breaking up with me lightly, he wants to be single. Like the commenter before me (A guy….) I can’t get a clear explanation of why he was breaking up with me or “taking a break” if he loved me and liked me and said there was nothing specific in our relationship that made him decide this.

    This article makes sense to me, though it is written in a female’s perspective. And to the commenter before me, it isn’t girls who think like this….it is both sexes. It just sucks for the person on the other end, wanting the relationship and trying to understand why the other person doesn’t want to be with and trying to figure out what changed their mind. This is really torture I need to stop doing to myself.

  • Brian
    February 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    I would love to know what became of the authors ex after this debacle went down. She makes him sound as if he was an insignificant player in this mess. While she boasts of how great her life has become shedding herself of her dead weight boyfriend, what price did that poor guy pay for giving this relationship his best, but deemed not quite good enough for this self serving bitch?

    That said, this happened to me as well. My girlfriend and I were together almost 5 years and were engaged. Blindsided with the same BS just as this poor fellow probably was. I had no idea it was coming. While understandable if you are in a place you feel you don’t want be, but exercise some human decency. Bring your concerns out early. Don’t save them and wait to spring the trap when it is convienent to you. This guy deserved better. In my case I passed on a promotion that would have taken me to another city. I stayed to be with her, and she helped me make that decision. Within a month, she played this same despicable trick. Karma is hell. She will get what’s coming to her in the end. I can understand why the author won’t show up at her ex’s door. It would be an unwise move. I severed all ties with mine after I evicted her from my house. She is not welcome EVER!

    Am I bitter, you’re damned right I am. It will be very unlikely I will allow a woman remotely close to me again. Being in my late 30′s I really don’t want to start from scratch again with someone. Trust will be a major issue for me going forward. And yes, I realize not all women are like that. This taught me a hard lesson I won’t forget.

  • maramalada
    March 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    If you really love someone, you don’t just leave ‘m because of these dumb reasons.

    or you have serious commitment-issues or you just don’t get the working of a true relationship.

    Either way, you should only get yourself a boyfriend when you are 100% shure this won’t happen again.

    And the whole scientific reasoning here “humans have evolved to mate and procreate, not settle down with one person and live the rest of your life wondering ‘what if…’ is BS.
    Sinds humans evolve, couldn’t is be that we evolved to be more monogamous then ever?

  • Ronnie
    April 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am in the same spot as the author of this article. I feel so ashamed having these similar feelings after having read the version of opposite sex’s view on the manner. It is really sad to be in this position, but dragging along the person is worse then telling the person about your decision on the spot. Yes it is a shocking truth, to want out of the relationship for no explainable or apparent reason, but feelings and emotions change over time, and you can’t help it. If you cannot see yourself marrying the person, then why continue the relationship while you can be out there enjoying your single life ? I am not saying that being single brings more pleasure to a person. I actually think it’s quite sad and depressing being alone, personally. Sharing your life with someone is so gratifying, and brings you more happiness; as long as you keep the right balance and don’t lose your identity.

    But meanwhile, like the author stated and so did one of the commenter’s, life is short and you have to go with your gut feelings. I definitely would not like to be on the other side. But put yourself in our shoes, and see how much pleasure you’d get out of staying in a monotonous and unexciting relationship? I know that sounds selfish, but how happy are you going to be for the rest of your life? You only live once. Going out of your comfort zone might just open up a whole new world for you, and you might rediscover yourself and be grateful for all the new things you have been missing out on. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. I am about to do the move of leaving him. I hate to see someone suffer. Its a cruel thing to do. But I have to look out for my own self, because in reality, I am the only one in control for my own happiness. Everyone is.

  • Brian
    April 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    Ronnie, I hope you break things off decisivly with your boyfriend as soon as possible. You are right, stringing someone along is much worse. Every day you wait, steals a day from your boyfriend that he deserves to have so be can move forward as well. Yes, you are responsible for your own happiness, but at the same time, you do have his heart in your hands and you are very likely going to smash it when you break the news. This will be very bad for him when it happens, and depending on how you’ve treated him as of late, the longer you wait, the worse it will be for him. Just rip that bandaid off because you know it’s going to hurt. Once it’s done, he can start rebuilding and hopefully find someone who wants him. Most men are fact based. We really don’t care why. We care if you want us or not. If you do, great. if you don’t, then do what you have to do, but please don’t waste our time stringing us along.

    What I took exception to from this article was the authors treatment of her ex. It appears to me she treated him poorly in the months prior to dumping him. Them being together all that time, one would think she would consider his feelings better than she appears to have done. Her attitude screams self centered. He likely was a very good guy that spent months wringing his hands wondering WTF trying to figure out what’s wrong. She rubs salt in it by stringing him along by not communicating with him and giving him a chance to bail. And when she finally does it, she goes about it in a cowerdly fashion. As I said before, karma is hell. The tables will turn on her one day.

    I am 8 months out from this happening to me. I have to say, life is better without her. It came as a complete shock to me as my ex gave me no clues. I made a very poor life decision to pass on a job in another city. She was a big part of the decision making knowing full well what she planned on doing. We were engaged to be married on 04/20/2013 and plans were being made. A couple of girls night outs put this idea in motion that had been in her head for over a year and a half. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out like she hoped it would. She seriously misread her situation and so far her leap into the fast lane has flopped. The reality for her now is she is a single 38 year old high school math teacher living in an efficiency apartment geared for college students near her school. She’s barely scraping by and I heard through mutual friends she is miserable. I feel bad for her now, but that was her choice and she will have to see it through. She got in touch with me this past weekend feeling me out to see if reconciling was possible. My guess is our wedding date is approaching and she possibly could play off of that get me to warm up to the idea. My answer was no. She is now part of the past and I do not want to have another relationship with her or any other woman.

    Ronnie, if you love and respect this man, end it quickly. All he needs to know is he fact is your relationship is no longer working for you and don’t wish to hold him back any longer. He deserves your best effort, especially now.

  • Kelly
    April 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    Wow, these comments show a lot of bitterness.

    Well, I’ve had sparse relationships, and if I happened to find someone I liked well enough to be involved with, I wouldn’t end it “just to be single” as the author states here. But obviously, with her many relationships and guys throwing themselves at her every other day, I bet she is enjoying the single life.

    I don’t know, I believe in working things out, rather just throwing them to the wind. Or at least trying. It can hurt the other person a lot, but this author seems very self-centered from the sounds of it, meaning she only wanted her own life, not caring about another persons. But then again what do I know? I’ve never been in a relationship as long as 7 years, probably because that person got their “need to be single/not in a relationship” long before that time elapsed.

    That was hard enough for me dealing with that and all that went along with it, I’m sure it only gets harder to break up the longer you’re with someone.

    I only hope the guy will realize that he’s better off alone without her. I do feel for the need for independence and the need to be single, I guess I’m just on the opposite side of it, coming from a different life experience as this writer.

  • michelle
    June 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    i’m in 13 year relationship and feel like I need to break it off for the same reasons. i’ve told him, but he wants to ‘work it out’. currently going day to day, me disconnected, him trying to work it out. it sucks, I feel awful. he’ll have a hard time on his own and i just haven’t found it in me to tell him to just leave. I’ve said ‘i’m done’ but when he asked if i wanted him to leave, i said i didn’t know. ugh.

  • chloe
    June 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    You are the first person that actually takes “my side”! and i can also relate to all the people who commented.finally i feel understood!
    ive been contemplating leaving my husband for the exact same feelings you are describing but seems like all my friends and family think im crazy and “force” me to stay…
    you just made my day!

  • Ashley
    July 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m feeling the same way. My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 15, and I am now 20. Due to my young age, I havent ever really experienced a single life/dating as an older teen/young adult. We have been living together for the past two years in a town where I have no family or friends, so leaving would mean needing to move back in with my mother. We also have four cats together and my mom’s man is allergic to animals with fur, so there is a huge chance I’d have to leave my babies behind as well.

    My boyfriend has had a crazy amount of health problems all throughout his life and has accepted his “fate” that he’s going to probably die between the ages of 30 and 40. He refuses to try to make his body healthy; he just keeps smoking like a chimney, occasionally doing hard drugs, and eating a lot of fast food. Me? I’m doing everything I can to make sure I live a long healthy life. So, I’m feeling pressured to get out of this relationship ASAP, since I’d much rather be single in my 20s instead of later on in life when he eventually has a heart attack.

    It’s just so scary. He’s said on many occasions that I’m the only good thing in his life (his parents are literally psychos and he’s been betrayed by friends so often), and he’d kill himself if anything ever happen to me or if I ever left.

    I feel leaving could be the best decision of my life, or the worst decision of my life. The thought of leaving sounds great but it’s also way out of my comfort zone. Between us, we have about $10 000 in consumer debt (about $2000 is in my name, and $2000 I co-signed, and I also co-signed for his $26 000 car). I’m terrified to leave before that debt is taken care of. And I can’t bare the thought of leaving my kitties behind, :( I could probably take my favourite home with me as long as I kept her in the basement, but she’s always lived with other cats. I’m scared she’ll suffer from depression and start losing weight like crazy. I’ve seen it happen before with a friend’s pet.

    I’ve been a total wreck these past few months, trying to wrap my head around this intense desire to break up with him and move back home. Im not sure if I’m still here because I don’t want to risk losing him forever or if I’m selfishly staying because the timing seems inconvienent.

  • Kate
    July 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am currently experiencing the exact feelings of the author, but I do not think it’s selfish.

    I, like her, have had very little time being single over the past decade. Yes, this was my mistake. However, it’s only now becoming clear to me that I have lost time with myself worrying too much about others. I have been an incredibly dedicated girlfriend to several guys and yet received little support from them. I have not been choosing the right guys to date because I have not had enough space from them to know just what I want.

    My main reason of wanting to break up is not to flirt or have sex with whomever I want, but that I have to constantly worry about making sure someone else is happy. My career has started picking up and I want to work on it all the time. I have never spent much time dedicated to developing my own skills because I’m worried about what my SO wants.

    For example, last night, I went to a show at a local bar with my roommate. I invited my boyfriend. He came along but began complaining when we got there and I felt like it ruined my night. Had I been there with just my roommate, I would have been fine. But if I wouldn’t have invited my boyfriend, I would have felt guilty for being out without him.

    For me, it comes down to freedom of choice and not having the weight of having to constantly consider someone else’s feelings for all of your actions. Perhaps someday I will be ready to surrender that freedom for the comfort and security, but for now all I can think about is being free of obligations.

    Plus, I don’t want to be a shitty girlfriend. I love my boyfriend but I love many things and I need to explore what the world has to offer.

  • Martine
    July 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’ve been feeling like this for such a long time! I’ve known that I am a huge commitment-phobe for such a long time. I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 4 years, and I’ve been going back and forth about whether or not to end the relationship for almost 4 years. Sometimes it’s because certain things he does and doesn’t do annoy me to death to the point where I worry about it affecting any future we would have. Other times, I just feel like I’m suffocating in a relationship, in general. I love him to death, and I have immense amounts of fun with him when we’re together. I love being with him, and I can definitely see some sort of future with him a lot of the time. However, he is nowhere near as adventurous as I am. I want to go out and explore the world. He’s too afraid to be away from home for more than two weeks, if that. I feel like that holds me back sometimes. I’ve been in a relationship all four years I spent in college, and he has been the longest relationship I’ve ever had by a longshot. When I was nearing the end of my college career, I was starting to look at grad schools, and I was looking at a school in Washington, D.C., which is about a 5 hour drive from where I live. I decided to go to a grad school in my hometown, instead because I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving him. That was about a year and a half ago, and I’m starting to wonder if I made the right decision. I absolutely love my hometown, and a lot of my family lives here. I wonder if I should have taken a leap of faith, moved to DC, and lived there for a few years, though. I adore DC and want to experience living there at least for a little while. However, even if we stayed together until after I finish grad school, which is when I would end up moving to DC, I know it would be hard for him to move with me. My only two options at that point would be to either end up staying where I am or break up. I feel like this has been holding me back so much. He really is a great guy, but I want to explore everything this world has to offer to me. I want to go to a bar and not feel guilty about flirting with another guy. I want to have fun flings while I’m young. I want to go on adventures that I feel like I wouldn’t be able to go on while I’m with him. I’ve been feeling so guilty about thinking about breaking up with him because I thought it would be selfish of me, but I am naturally a wild, adventurous person, and I feel like over the past 4 years, I have been “domesticated,” as a close friend of mine has put it. Is it such a crime to want to explore who I am outside of someone else before I finally settle down with someone?

  • Tom
    August 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    @Kate, I know you wrote your reply about a month ago but I hope you will see mine!

    I am a 23 year old guy and have been with my girlfriend since the age of 17. I don’t know how old you are, but reading your situation related to me very strongly.

    Your reasons about wanting to have time to find yourself and focus on your career / happiness for once is exactly how I feel. I think especially for me being 23, I have given so much time on supporting my girlfriend through university and helping her find what makes her happy while slightly putting my own ambitions to the side. When that realisation hits you it is pretty scary! I know that is completely my own choice / fault and also part of a commited relationship, but I feel being single would give me the chance to completely commit to my career prospects, among other things. This is where your sentence really rings true – “Perhaps someday I will be ready to surrender that freedom for the comfort and security, but for now all I can think about is being free of obligations”. Maybe I just got into this relationship too young.. we’ve given a quarter of our lives to each other.. But you just can’t help these things.

    I know she will be devastated – But I hope, as other posters have said, that she knows it’s coming. I really hope that it won’t come as a complete shock to her, but it’s so hard to express feelings of doubt while also trying to keep the relationship good until the break.
    I can’t get rid of the guilty and selfish feelings, but a lot of these posts have helped a bit in seeing that sometimes you have to be selfish to be truly happy. Maybe only then will you be able to be in a truly happy relationship.

    SOOO, I was wondering what choice you made in the end? Are you still in the relationship? Either way, do you feel you have made the right decision?

    Thanks, and I hope everything has worked out for you!

  • E
    August 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am so glad i have come across this article. I have been feeling the exact same way as everything you described at the beginning for a while now. Really feeling it to the point i can’t stop thinking about it. However i cannot risk it for losing my partner forever so will not action on it. But it really does help knowing other people go through this too and everyone has doubt and would like to be single again for a while.

  • JayJay
    September 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    so glad i found this article, as the same issues have been plaguing me for months!

    My boyfriend is perfect – sweet, attentive, hard working, would be an amazing dad, etc
    But for the last six months I just can’t stop thinking about being single!
    I’m so bored in this life and feel completely disconnected to him.

    I’ve spoken to a few people about it and they seem to be in two camps. The first opinion is that I should break it off, we’re obviously not meant to be and if I feel this way now how would it be in 5/10/20 years? etc. The second camp is that this is what a long term relationship is like, the excitement and passion does fade and in the end you’re left with a companion you can be comfortable with.

    I would love to be free again and start having some fun, but I’m worried it could be the biggest mistake of my life as he is the definition of the guy you’re supposed to want to marry. Plus even if I was single, what would happen eventually? I’d probably have a good time for six months to a year or so, then just end up in another relationship, and probably end up feeling the same way again about the next guy!
    I dunno, maybe I have commitment problems. I already have what all the single people out there are looking for, yet I can’t stop thinking about joining them :-(
    any advise/opinion would be appreciated, even if it’s that I’m selfish/stupid!

  • Samantha
    September 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hi Jay Jay, I can totally relate to your post. I’ve been with a great guy for 5 years – he’s not perfect, but he’s funny, caring, cooks and would make a great father too.

    Throughout this year I’ve been questioning our compatibility. He’s not an affectionate person, whereas I am. He’s practical whereas I’m all over the place. I love D&Ms whereas he’s more narrowminded. He doesn’t make me feel fulfilled. The way he treats me feels more like a friend or a family member.

    There’s been quite a few engagements and weddings happening this year. When I look at the couples saying their vows, it scares me. I wonder if I can say the same thing and mean it. I wonder if I could live with my boyfriend for the rest of my life.

    I know that the passion fades eventually but that has to happen with the right person. I’m wondering if I can find someone better, someone who can fulfill me! I want to be free again to find someone better, and yes so I can go party for awhile. I’ve never experienced single life properly, been in this relationship since I was 19 and before that I never left the house. At the same time I’m worried I can’t find anyone better.

    Sorry Jay Jay, I can’t give you any real advice, but I can 100% validate your feelings. You’re not stupid. I’m seriously thinking of leaving very soon. I’ve spoken about this issues before but I still don’t feel like anything’s been resolved. I’ll have another discussion with my boyfriend but I feel it may be the last one.

  • JayJay
    September 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hey Samantha,

    It’s great to know I’m not alone at least :-) I feel like I haven’t really experienced single life either! Three of my close friends got engaged this year too, we’re all reaching that age and it definitely makes you question if you want your relationship to reach the same place.

    Finishing things is a big plunge, will it end in a better more suitable relationship or me becoming a crazy cat lady? I’ve decided to give mine a little longer as we moved recently and I wanna see how things work out, then I’ll make a decision and try to stick to it… good luck if you do the same :-) x x x x

  • Aussie86
    October 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    Wow. It looks like the author’s selfish attitude has encouraged others to be selfish as well. Great job author!

  • @ Aussie86
    December 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    How is her attitude selfish?? Since when does a person have to completely devote all of their time on making sure their SO is happy, while negating their own feelings?? Since when does a person become selfish for wanting to be single?? WTH?? Would you call a teen who’s been with the same person all of their high school life, but wants to break it off, selfish also?? So what if the relationship has been for years, so what if they’re married. Not only do people change, but feelings change also. You can’t help how you feel, and if that means that someone’s heart is broken, then so be it. It’s not about not caring about your SO’s feelings, it’s about caring about your OWN feelings more. People are so quick to judge someone, but will envy them in private. Not everyone feels the same after years of being in a relationship, and not everyone wants to stay in a relationship for years, when in their heart, they desire and crave different.

  • Marky Mark
    January 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    I place no judgement on your decision. I hope you are happy in the end. I have been on the other end of the scenario and never got over it. Oh, we are still together but about 28 years ago I had dump all the pride I had to hold it together. It was about a 2 year ordeal in totality. We had already been married 7 years and with 2 small children. I wasn’t a perfect husband but I was damned close. It destroyed the little bit of innocence I had left in me to know that the only person I had ever trusted my entire soul to suddenly wanted to explore her other options. I will always love her . I can’t help myself but a piece of my heart was stolen from me then that I can never get back. The pain is indescribable. I will never understand what it was she needed from me that I was not providing. She made a mistake and has done every right to make it right but it haunts me everyday. That was long ago. Now at 54 years old, my youth is gone and I will always wonder how much fun we could have had without this black cloud over out head. I will be crushed until the day I die.I guess the moral of the story is to try to know what you want in life before you allow someone to give you that much of their soul.

  • Marky Mark
    January 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    Reminds me of a song that plays in my head often. There is a line that says ” when happily ever after fails and we’ve been poisoned by those fairy tales”

  • Ohio is for lovers
    February 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’m 22 years old and in college. I started dating one of my close friends. I fell in love with her; she was everything i’d ever wanted and i had never felt this way about anyone. we had sex. she was my first time. We were perfect together. Then this happened out of nowhere. She gave me the same BS responses and i knew her reasoning. I can’t focus on anything this semester; How am i supposed to give two shits about performing meaningless calculations while the girl i love is sleeping with other guys?! I feel so goddamn worthless i contemplate suicide on a daily basis.

  • joy
    February 23, 2014 | Permalink |

    This article reflects what is happening to me and him right now. I include “and him” because what he doesn’t realize is that I want him to have all of the love and time with someone he deserves, but I am unable to give it. Let me explain. I was in an abusive relationship for seven years. I met my current (soon-to-be ex) boyfriend at work and we became very good friends. With all of the trouble at home, I leaned on him and when I finally left my situation our friendship quickly became more. For the past year I have been living basically a lie and I feel horrid about it, because I just recently realized my faux pas. You see, I do love and care about him, but I never really loved him the way he does me. I suffer from codependency and depression and it was easier, I think, to let someone else take the burden of that and the fact that I did not take time to be single and rebuild myself, takes a toll on future relationships. While none of that is an excuse for what I have just done to him, knowing I just shattered his world, I also have a sense of peace within myself, because for the first time I am thinking of myself, as selfish as that sounds. He is a wonderful man who will find someone that needs that, but I still need time to heal and I need that time alone. I know it will be hard, but everyone’s circumstances are different. I also believe it is more selfish to stay in a relationship that you are not 100% into, because eventually everything will go to hell when you don’t have 100% to give. I gave a 100% to my last relationship (as bad as it was) and didn’t take time to refuel the tank, so to speak, and I know this is completely unfair to him. But I am breaking it off now, because I do care about him enough to not drag him through anymore of my BS. Sometimes you have to be your own hero, no matter how selfish it may seem. People will make you feel like crap for your decision, but they don’t live your life. You do. And if you aren’t happy with being alone with you, you will not be able to have anything to give to anyone else.

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