Winking is a vital body language tool to use when flirting. Find out how to wink the right way and make anyone want you with these simple tips.
The hard truth is that if you can’t flirt, it’s pretty hard to find that special someone. And that’s because flirting is used to establish connections, show someone you’re even interested in them, and gauge just how interested they are in you, too.
That being said, winking is one of the most commonly used ways to flirt with someone and show your interest. The only problem is, if it’s done incorrectly, it can be catastrophic to your chances. Why? Because it makes you look creepy.
Where did winking start?
You may be wondering how closing one eyelid could have possibly become a symbol of flirting between two people. It may seem a little weird when you think about it, but there is somewhat of a history surrounding the infamous wink you give that hottie at the bar.
It’s believed that winking came about because when we’re attracted to someone, our eyelids dilate, we get excited, and both of those increase our blinking rate. It just so happens that it must have caught on that when someone winked one eye at you, it meant they liked you. [Read: 15 ways to tell if someone likes you without asking them]
How to wink and make anyone want you
Now, if you’re really bad at winking, it can be difficult to get your feelings out there to someone who’s across the room. In fact, it can ruin your chances by making you look a little bit creepy and uninteresting.
That being said, you should always know how to wink. If you really want to know what makes a wink especially effective, trying these tips for how to wink and make anyone want you will be your best bet for catching the eye of the cutie across the way. [Read: 10 ways to build sexual tension the flirty way]
#1 Confidence is key. The thing you really need to master when figuring out how to wink is an ironclad confidence. Without having confidence, your wink will come across as weak and like you just have something in your eye – not cute.
You have to wink with confidence if you want to be taken seriously. Meaning, without having confidence behind your wink, it won’t have nearly the same affect as it will if you have as much confidence as you can. Just remember that you’re amazing, and they’ll realize it too.
#2 Find your strong eye. Everyone has an eye that winks easier than the other. If you use your weak eye to wink, you run the risk of making it look forced and unnatural and you may even close the other eye with it. Not effective.
Instead, use the eye that’s the most comfortable to wink with. When it looks more natural, it’ll come off a lot more confident and alluring. If you can make it look effortless, it’ll be much more likely to win you that hottie across the way. [Read: 10 subtle flirting eye contact moves that really work]
#3 Wait for strong eye contact. Don’t just throw winks in someone’s general direction and hope they see it. That’s the worst thing you can do when trying to wink and win someone over. It’s not confident, and it’ll be missed.
Wait until you actually have eye contact with someone before throwing them a sexy wink. If you make eye contact, just give them a small wink, a smile, and then hold it for another second before slowly looking away. This will make them come to you.
#4 Make sure they’re by themselves. If you wink at someone who is with a group, it may be hard for those people to decipher who the wink was for, and you never want that type of confusion when trying to make someone want you.
Therefore, you have to make sure they’re mostly by themselves or pulled away from the group they’re with. That way there’s no mistaking who you’re winking at when you finally send one their way. Confusion can really put a damper on that flirty vibe. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
#5 Be mindful of your other body language. You can’t just send someone a wink across the room while you’re hunched over at a table and not at all engaged in them. You have to be careful what the rest of your body is doing when you’re sending that wink.
Why? Because a wink isn’t the same if the rest of the body doesn’t match its intentions. So face their direction, open your stance to be “inviting,” and give a little flirty smile. Make them interested. [Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys]
#6 Hold eye contact after the wink and smile. Don’t just look away directly after winking at someone. Not only is that really confusing for them, but it’s like giving them ice after something hot. They won’t really know why you winked in the first place.
That being said, after you wink at them, hold their gaze for a moment. Not only will you be able to gauge their level of interest this way, but you’re opening a connection and holding it so you can make a move.
#7 Practice as much as you can. The saying, “practice makes perfect” is definitely something to remember for learning how to wink. If you really want to make anyone want you, your winking game has to be strong, and that means working hard to make sure it seems natural so it’s effortless and the most effective. [Read: How to talk to your crush and make them fall for you]
#8 Get feedback from friends. It might be weird to ask your friends to watch you wink and then give you tips, but if you really want to make anyone want you, that’s the way to go. They can tell you what you’re doing wrong that you might not notice otherwise.
This way, you can perfect your wink so you’re sure it looks great and you’re giving off the vibe that you want to. You can also help your friends practice winking so everyone can be great at it!
#9 Do it with a fun pickup line. If you really want to make the winking more fun and flirty and less direct, you can always do it while dropping a fun pickup line. This can give you a really fun way to initiate a flirty conversation while also giving them the hint that you’re interested.
#10 Don’t be excessive with it. If winking worked for you, don’t keep doing it over and over again in the same sitting. Obviously, if you keep winking for no reason, someone is going to think there’s something wrong with your eye, or it’ll start to get a little weird for them.
Avoid winking more than twice during an initial meeting with someone if you really want to make anyone want you.